Zeus Forever Banishes The Titans
The Titans have already slipped into forgotten territory and honestly I don’t see a reason to remember they exist for the rest of the season.
Marcus Mariota has been benched. He hasn’t developed as hoped. He’s also not set up to succeed, with a faulty line protecting him. He has few weapons, and his coaching staff is balls. But that doesn’t change the fact that he seemingly can’t make decisions quickly and just isn’t growing or improving. Now we get to see Ryan Tannehill take the reigns and I highly doubt it will be much of an improvement. Marcus is almost guaranteed to end up somewhere else after this season, which might be for the best.
Now I get to see the answer to a question I have wondered since he was drafted. What do all the Oregon Ducks fans do when Marcus goes elseware? Tons of Mariota jerseys popped up in this area after he got picked up by the Titans. I’ve never seen a large amount of Titans fans anywhere (outside Nashville, where I assume has plenty) but these past seasons have featured me witnessing more Titans fans in the wild than a lot of other teams out here. But they are clearly all Titans fans due to Mariota. Has Mariota been on the team long enough for these people to stay Titans fans? Will they move on to Mariota’s new team? Will they hate the Titans for how the team has basically misused him since drafting him? I am very excited to find out.
I have recently discovered a new sports bar in my neighborhood that I’ve gone to for the past few weeks. It is an entire wall of screens. Each game gets roughly two screens on the wall. All of a sudden, when I was moving my attention back and forth, I realized one game was missing. The Titans game. For 3 weeks the Titans game has just…not been on TV, in a bar with tons of TVs. Nobody seemed bothered. The Titans have always struggled for national attention but this is a level of apathy and disrespect I haven’t seen for a while.
The thing is, I can’t imagine a reason anybody would have to watch this team outside obligation or dedicated fandom. The Titans are not exciting. They had a brief blip a couple seasons ago when Mariota was doing well and they were at least reaching the playoffs, but now? What about the Titans is interesting? Marcus looks broken. The offense is dull. The defense is fine. The coach is bland. The uniforms are still pretty meh. Derrick Henry isn’t as fun as it feels he should be.
I have a soft spot for the often forgotten Titans of Tennessee and usually wish them the best so that they’d get more love. But this team just doesn’t seem fun. They are in dire need of a Mahomes-esque fire to break them free from Tartarus and give us a reason to watch them again.
This comic is going to age very poorly if the Titans beat the Bolts this weekend.
EDIT: Vroomba down in the comments had a wonderful idea. Since I drew the Titans being beaten by a guy who shoots electricity, and this weekend the Titans face The Chargers, if the Titans actually win I will draw them eating Philip Rivers in the style of Saturn Devouring His Son.
“This comic is going to age very poorly if the Titans beat the Bolts this weekend”
No it won’t. Chargers are just as bad as the Titans
I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the Titans win on Sunday with Tannehill, he’s got a pretty good record against the Chargers. They’ll still be a crummy mediocre team. Shame, I was rooting for them.
I was watching the Steelers game and that first five minutes of the game was probably some of the worst ball I’ve ever seen them play. Two turnovers, one of them being returned for a touchdown, it was awful. If they keep playing like that well lose all our games.
I’m suprised we even beat the Dolphins a few weeks ago.
Considering the Titans got all the way to the AFC Championship game, yeah, this comic aged like shit.
If the titans beat the chargers this weekend, you should draw mariota devouring rivers in the style of Saturn Devouring His Son
You know? I kind of love this idea
… and it happened.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Rivers and the Jets seems to be the biggest butt monkeys in these comics.
long time listener, multi-time comment-er, I’m back
Can we really say Mariota doesn’t have many weapons? He has Derrick Henry as his RB. He has the aging yet respectable Delanie Walker at TE. He has a good trio of receivers with Davis, Humphries, and Brown. How many more weapons does a QB need?
Is Medicrity like Metacritic, but for medics?
As an aside, Tartarus makes me think of tartar sauce. Now every time I see the Titans on TV, I’m going to want fish’n’chips, and I won’t even know why! =/
The BE part isn’t so bad, but the SF part is a little off-putting.
Mariota, to me, is a talented QB but was still a questionable prospect. Oregon was a school that was set up for QB’s to look good. So, I think he was up against it to learn and grow in the NFL anyways. That being said, it was entirely possible because the talent is there. The team has failed him. And not just him. That team is actually talented enough to be a playoff team and to easily challenge in the division this year. The coaching staff being balls is a compliment. It’s pathetic to say it, but they were better off with Jeff Fisher rather than every guy they’ve hired/fired since. I think even Fish could flop his way to someone more memorable than this.
Lol ^
Gosh darn it, Dave… it’s REINS. You take the *reins*. It’s a metaphor from horse-drawn buggies. When you take over from the driver, he hands you the reins to lead the horses with.
Take the “reigns” doesn’t even make any sense dogblammit. I wish you flapping mudfloppers would get this sharfknuckling bullcrud RIGHT for just once, you fleezing codwallops!
You take. The. REINS.
Im only happy when it reins
I am still giggling at this response.
I see what you did there. Cronus is the God of Time, and the number eight looks like an hourglass.
Marcus needs to go to the Chiefs for a few years and learn good offense, then follow one of Andy Reid’s coordinators off into the sunset.
“if the Titans actually win I will draw them eating Philip Rivers in the style of Saturn Devouring His Son.”
I don’t think I’ve rooted for the Titans hard for, like, ever, them being a team I’m ambivalent towards, but this promise gives me enough impetus to do so.
Go Titans!
well done
Yet they are still a more profitable team than the bills. FFS we are the least profitable team in the league. We should get a folding table sponsor or something.
Hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha