Why Doug Marrone Left
Poor Bills. My time spent in upstate New York in Bills territory taught me that Bills fans are just the most adorably optimistic fanbase. They aren’t like Cleveland or Detroit, with this level of angry bitterness pervading even the most optimistic of supporters. They are ever so hopelessly optimistic and you can’t keep them down. The Bills make them happy, even when they inevitably make them sad. It’s almost inspiring. They also drink a lot.
But man, I’d be devastated as a Bills fan after this week. They put together a 9-7 season, their first season above .500 in like a decade. They had a stifling defense that threw down the best of them, and even made Aaron Rodgers look mortal. All they needed was a QB above Orton caliber and they could really, finally, put up a fight and cause the Patriots to sweat. This was the first Bills season in years that actually ended optimistically. Sure they lost their playoff chances by losing to the Raiders, but I mean, they are the Bills. If i was a Bills fan I’d feel pretty good.
Then Orton skipped town, and Doug Marrone got in some sort of conflict with the front office and he literally walked. The first coach in years to get them above .500 and he voluntarily walks away. Now the Bills have a huge coaching hole in a year with no good candidates (Rex will probably not be a Bill) , nothing at QB with the best option being trading for Jay Cutler, and a low draft pick keeping them from getting Mariota or Winston. Not only that, but I’m pretty sure the Browns might have their first rounder this year, because of Sammy Watkins. I forgot what the Bills gave up to pick 4th.
Buffalo will never have nice things and their fantastic & hopelessly optimistic fanbase deserves better.
It’s impossible to hate the Bills. I could see how some saltier fans of other AFC North or NFC North teams could seriously despise the Browns or the Lions, respectively, but the Bills are just impossible to hate. Their uniforms look great, the fans in Buffalo are some of the best in spite of having every reason to be bitter(How jaded and “God hates us. I hate sports. They’re never winning, I’m leaving” would most of us get if our team lost the Superbowl four times in a row?), and like you said, they’re always happy and always optimistic! They were legitimately excited for Ryan Fitzpatrick as a franchise quarterback! Bills fans to me are the exception to your rule that The Optimistic Fan is just a naive, green Pessimistic Fan. You’ll find exceptions here and there in some fanbases, but the Bills fans are somehow in high spirits every year in spite of their team being awful. It’s impossible not to love them when they’re so happy to have football.
Losing Marrone sucks Bills Fans, but don’t fret too bad; between Watkins and that defense, the makings of a great team are there(They won 9 games with Orton, who actually looked like a passable starter!). Fix the offensive line – which San Diego, Arizona, and Dallas have all proven can be done in 1-2 years – and find a quarterback, and Touchdown Tom will have Buffalo on his back! There’s a future for you, and there are plenty of good head coach options this year! Mike Smith mayhaps?
Wait where’s the upvote button?
One of my best friends is a Bills fan. After week 15, when the Bills still had a chance, he told me, “The Bills are are going to lose to the Raiders, then beat the Patriots somehow. It’s the most Billsy thing they could possibly do.” I honestly didn’t know it was possible to get more blackout drunk than he did after the Raiders game, but with about 10 minutes left in the Pats game, he managed it.
Greatest thing ever written about a Bills fan ever. Because this is true. Posting your comment to FB if that’s ok.
Have at it
Their bound to have a good year eventually. What if aliens devastate humanity but avoid Buffalo because Buffalo. Then they’d have a good shot at the playoffs.
Also, I’m glad to see my favorite brand of whiskey in the comic.
I’m a Patriots fan and even I can’t hate the Bills. After that last game I sat there in disbelief. Not that the Bills beat my team and not that they didn’t even really beat the best Pats, but that the Bills actually ended the season 9-7. They only lost to the Raiders because yes, they are indeed the Bills.
*cracks open Photoshop*
Just gonna shove a framed Monarchs jersey on the office wall, if it’s all the same with you, Dave.
Honestly, losing Marrone isn’t that big of a blow. Many Bills fans are actually happy about it. He gets a lot more credit on the national level than he should. Their success this year was due mostly to having one of the best defenses in the league, which Marrone didn’t have much of a hand in. Credit for the defense should go to Whaley (GM), Pettine (former DC), and Schwartz (current DC). The offense, supposedly Marrone’s specialty, has severely regressed under Marrone and his favorite son Hackett (OC). The running game with Jackson and Spiller went from strength to hot pile of garbage due to mismanagement and poor play calling. The offensive line regressed under him, as did the play of Manuel and Orton. If the offensive scheme/playcalling would have been even somewhat capable, they would have likely been in the playoffs. Not to mention that several of the wins were gift wrapped and several of the losses could easily be blamed on the offensive play calling. So, even though 9-7 is a nice number for a Bills organization that hadn’t had a winning season in forever, it definitely doesn’t tell the whole story about Marrone’s tenure.
As another Bills fan, I don’t think I could have said it better myself.
Assuming they keep their DC Jim Schwartz (imagine the “use the Schwartz” jokes!), their defense was top 5 this year. Defensive players absolutely love him, and they are the single reason we managed to beat the Packers.
The offense was the reason why we lost to Oakland. The Orton/Marrone/Hackett combination led to play calls that had be screeching at the TV, and passes so poorly thrown I was begging for Manuel to come in. I couldn’t comprehend sending a recovering CJ Spiller up the middle on short yards, and trying to throw it out to Freddy in the flat to let him try to speed it out. This way, we can get rid of that atrocious playcalling in one shot.
Bills fans are like permanently happy little kids at a birthday party. They get all happy because hey, cake! Hence the optimism. But then something bad happens (losing season, miss the playoffs, lose the superbowl four years in a row, mistreat a great QB who should be starting but for whatever reason isn’t, legendary player gets cancer, owner dies, almost get moved to Toronto, etc) and they find out there were razors in the cake. Every year they get cake, and every year they hope it isn’t razor flavored.
Don’t worry Bills fans. Someday the razorcakes will be just regular cakes. Someday.
Knew that was going to be a Razorcakes reference.
Dave I look at all yur comics and never comment but great job with this I really enjoy it but I noticed I don’t think you have ever done anything with Greg Hardy aka The Kraken thought that woulda been useful for some comic in the past when he use to dominate and then got into his off field trouble
Given the choice between quitting and having to try to win with EJ Manuel, I’d say he made the right choice.
(P.S. I can’t fap to this, either)
Exactly how many dp’s hve you fapped to?
Hahaha, phrasing
I know one Bills fan in the hills….he was unfazed by Orton leaving. Heck, he thought it would make them better. Then Marrone leaving left him unscathed. Helplessly optimistic hits the nail on the head. Also, as I am a bartender; I can tell you that he definitely drinks a ton…so that’s another nail on the head.
As a Broncos fan I can assure the Bills that they are better off without Orton. Anyone else would be a commodity of at least unknown value; with Orton, you know you’re getting “good enough to lose”.
The sad thing is, they indeed might be.
Exactly how loyal & optimistic are Bills fans? They stopped by the Battle Red Blog, the Texans SB Nation blog, to show their respect for Ryan Fitzpatrick after his 6 TD game against the Titans & said they miss him & still want him back. They’re not asking for the next Jim Kelly at QB. They would be just fine with a game managing QB that won’t screw it up for them. They still think Fitzpatrick would he enough to get the job done, & hell, he almost was for the Texans
You have no idea what you’re talking about.
Did you even watch a Bills game?
Marrone was terrible.
It’d be rather interesting to see Jay Cutler on the Bills, as I feel he may have entered a bit of a toxic situation in Chicago and would need a change of pace. Unfortunately, the Bills aren’t going to trade for Cutler due to his massive contract and the fact that they don’t have a 1st round pick, and the Bears aren’t going to release Cutler and pay him money to have him start for another team. Likely, they’re going to have to go into next season with EJ Manuel at QB, and I really don’t feel like he’s the guy.
“Rex will probably not be a Bill”
oooohhh. *cringe*