Who Really Blocked Cody Parkey’s Field Goal?
THE TRUTH STANDS BEFORE US. Watch the film Zapruder style. The Eagles are trying to claim that Hester blocked the field goal with his tippy fingers just enough to send it off course, but that’s because they can’t admit the truth. Something was off that day about the uprights. That kick was going in. But something nudged it just enough. That something was BIG DICK NICK.
I’m honestly glad the kick has been confirmed as blocked. I felt so bad for Cody Parkey. Losses are a team accomplishment and although the Bears directly lost because the field goal didn’t go through, it also never should have come down to that. The offense for the Bears was terrible pretty much all game and this vaunted defense could stop the final march of the Eagles for the game-winning touchdown. The Bears were only in the game thanks to the kicking of Cody Parkey to begin with. It’s the Blair Walsh effect all over. Despite everything the kicker did for you that game, because of the one bad moment he takes the brunt of all failures despite the fact that the whole teams should honestly be ashamed of that performance.
Nick never has troubles with performance. Nick always rises…big time…to the occasion.
But now that the kick is officially blocked at least we can say that the Eagles just plain outplayed the Bears instead of Cody Parkey choking it away. He’ll never be able to kick for the Bears again, and morons will still use him as the scapegoat for the loss, but at least the legacy should alter somewhat in his favor. Maybe that will make it a little bit easier on the guy so he doesn’t end up the next Steve Bartman. Chicago sports fans are an underrated kind of terrible because they tend to get the loser sympathy card. Poor Steve Bartman.
None of the teams I wanted to win this weekend did so except the Chargers. Ugh. The Texans were exposed as frauds. Honestly it should have been easy to spot, their big 9 game win streak came against weak competition (The wins against the Colts/Cowboys were when both teams were in a mid-season funk before they put it together). The Colts are red-hot and may legitimately be a underrated threat in the AFCE. I think they may actually beat the Chiefs with ease. They have a fantastic offense that can match the Chiefs output plus unlike KC, their defense isn’t trash garbage. It’s an away game, and the Chiefs are rightfully favored, but I honestly think the Colts are gonna take this one.
The Chargers are going to have a tough time in Foxboro, especially if it is cold and snowy like the weather predictors are saying it could be. But this team could take out NE. If the Chargers win this one I might be all on the Chargers to win it all. However, Bama lost, so that means the Patriots are winning it all because every year Bama loses the championship NE wins it.
The Eagles are going to have a tough time with the Saints. If they get past the Saints then the Big Dickolas Nicholas train is also gonna choo choo into the bowl because how do you stop that?
The Cowboys kind of got lucky in that the Seahawks had a terrible gameplan and did not unleash Russ. The Cowboys are hot but predictable, and predictable is a tough thing to be against the Rams. McVay knows how to gameplan for predictable. If the Boys get past the Rams it’ll be because the defense stuffed THE SYSTEM and then we get to start seeing articles about how McVay is a fraud. That might be fun. Fuck the Cowboys though.
Go Chiefs! Go Chargers! Go Rams! Go Saints!
Its funny, but when he left us in 2015, I thought we had lost a QB that had the potential to carry the franchise (even with how bad Chip had us playing at the time) and was really surprised to see him struggle. He has the height, the arm, the composure and the range of throws that any franchise looks for in their Quarterback.
When we went 8-8 I didnt put the blame on him, I just accepted that Chip’s scheme was one and done, like a lot of college coaches & players that get found out after a season once you have enough tape of their games.
I could not have been happier to see him return even as backup to Wentz. This may be because previously we had the Sanchize as backup, and I wouldnt wish that on any team, let alone my own. He has a love for the Team and the City that is returned a thousand fold. I’m not on the Fence in terms of the Foles/Wentz debate, I recognise we’ve invested in Wentz as the long term future of the team, and you cant carry two starting QB’s (which is the level Foles is at) every year, so im grateful he’s still here.
If he goes all the way this year (and he might), they should build a statue of him right next to the Rocky Statue, and with his enlarged girth fully displayed.
BTW , why did Mark Sanchez not do an Mobile Phone advert? I mean, him discussing boring terms and conditions before being shoved off screen by a giant ass with the voiceover telling him “Butt out Sanchez” is an advert that writes itself.
Two quotes from St. Nick that give me the feeling there is a nonzero chance he resigns to backup Wentz again next year:
“It is a great dynamic. I think it is a great example to younger quarterbacks in high school. I feel like you are always trying to cut each other in drills, always trying to outdo each other. It becomes sort of a toxic environment and it’s not fun. I’ve always been a relationship guy. Even if you are a quarterback, I want to have fun, I want tot push each other, but at the end of the day we are on the same team and we have to support each other. Carson is a great player and he is going to be a tremendous player in this league for a long time. I think having those open discussions in the locker room, starting with your friendship first and then your teammates genuinely caring for each other. He knows when he is out there I’m not vying for him to get hurt or something, I want him to succeed, I want him to stay healthy the entire season, I want him to have a great career … even at the expense of me not playing. That is where I have to put my ego aside and say this is what is best for the team. I can still be a leader in the locker room, but just in my lane. It becomes tricky.
“Now we are going into this season, and everyone wants to know ‘Hey are you going to start the season, where is Carson?’ We’ll see what happens but the thing is, Carson can get healthy, he knows I’m not trying to take it over. I would love to play in Philly the rest of my career, I love the city, but I know that is not the situation. I want Carson to have an amazing career there, be a legend there. I’m just excited about this season and we’ll see what happens after that.”
AND the real telling quote from this offseason after the big Super Bowl win:
“I would love the opportunity to lead a team in the right situation,” Foles said, “but I’m not just going to step into a situation that I don’t enjoy the people I’m working with, I don’t necessarily like the offense, (or) it’s not fun. There’s GMs listening to what I’m saying right now, saying, ‘I don’t want a guy like that. Everything’s got to be football … He’s got to want to be a starting quarterback,’ and, quite frankly, I don’t want to play for you. Because you’re not going to get who I am.”
I thought the comic will be about Parkey getting in trouble for domestic abuse of goalposts.
To be honest, Goodell has form for that kind of thing, it would not be unexpected.
You missed an opportunity for the pun “thousand foles”.
As a Saints fan he scares the hell out of me. Like I was excited to play Carson Wentz earlier in the season but am not stoked about playing For, especially now that the iggles are gonna play mad because of the loss earlier in the season. Stupid Bears shoulda threw the Minnesota game.
FUCK YOU NICK FOLES
Chaos theory forever!
Soccer stadium to hold the AFC Championship game with two option either half empty or actors are paid to pose as fans in 2nd/3rd most important game of the season. Don’t know what is better news for Trump to scapegoat his problems.
So is this the real reason Mr. Goalposts had that face last comic?
Can Big Dick Nick be the new Sexy Rexy?
I second this motion.
I Third this motion. The comic potential for this is over 9000
I think Josh Allen is more in the the spirit of sexy rexy. Something like 30% of his throws were bomb attempts. Big Dick Nick is a whole new entity all together, like Tim Tebow and Joe Namath had a baby.
See, here’s the thing…no.
I have reported you to the authorities.
This could so easily have been a Mike Glennon joke…
Sexy Rexy is dead! Long live Big Dick Nick!
You mentioned Steve Bartman. The Cubs gave him a WS ring after they won.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Bartman_incident#2016_Cubs_victory_in_World_Series
You sure it wasn’t Glennon sticking his neck out for the Eagles?
With both of the teams I was rooting for getting knocked out all I have left to root for is Ringless Rivers. I guess maybe the Saints?
With the Bears out, I’m rooting for the meteor in the Eagles/Saints game. I’d like to be all in for the Chargers, but I just don’t trust any team against NE.
Sorry, I booked the meteor for the Chargers/Pats game.
“The Bears were only in the game thanks to the kicking of Cody Parkey to begin with.”
I know what you’re getting at with this, but the Bears *literally* wouldn’t be in the game (would have had a first-round bye) if Parkey hadn’t missed certain kicks earlier in the year.
Actually if you look further down below the posts, it was actually Payton Manning’s forehead.
This is almost exactly what I was hoping you would make for this comic.
I figured that the dick would stretch all the way from the sideline to where the kick was tipped.
So I just imagined Big Dick Nick thrusted after the ball was kicked and his third leg created a gust of wind that sent the ball off course.
You’re too soft on kickers. Were you a kicker in high school? Did you miss The Big Kick in the Big Game?
lol wtf is this comment
please dont let physics get in the way of your narrative bro