What if other jobs had Ties?
Ties are the worst. I mean, they are. I won’t lie, they are funny. But the fact remains, they are the worst, and I hope we don’t get any more this year. If we get more it will ruin the magic unicorn that is the football tie.
I’ve pretty much made a comic about ties twice before, to really the best effect that can be stated without me repeating the joke ad-nauseum. I think the final panel of that second comic is pretty much the definitive pinnacle of what a Tie Game is. I didn’t make a comic on Tuesday about the Was/Cin London tie because there wasn’t really much to say. Maybe that UK fans probably liked it because soccer has a lot of ties? Maybe. But everyone pretty much made that joke the day it happened. The biggest problem with tie games is that they are completely and utterly unsatisfactory. It’s the worst. You can’t be happy, you can’t be sad. You don’t really know what to feel, because ties are terrible.
It’s fun to laugh at the teams who tied and the SEA/ARI game was indeed a nihilistic masterpiece but the best part of sports is the ecstasy of victory. The agony of defeat. The absolution. Ties don’t give us mistakes to learn from or achievements to applaud. They are nothing, empty, meaningless voids, just like existence. Nobody wants to think about that. We watch sports to get away from that.
It’s also why Soccer sucks (to me at least). There are a lot of reasons I don’t care for soccer, but frequent ties are top of the list. The reason ties in football are funny is because they never happen. It’s rare to get one tie, let alone 2 in subsequent weeks. But if they happen more frequently like they do in soccer, they won’t be funny for long. They’ll just be ties. Empty meaningless disappointment. I think the only reason Soccer even has so many ties is because it’s so hard to score in soccer anyway, and fixing it to involve fewer draws would make half the games come down to penalty kicks and more or less fundamentally change the sport. But people demand resolution. In TV shows. In court cases. In pursuits. In movies, books, elections, everything/ Ties are not resolutions. They are the cliffhanger ending of a TV show that gets cancelled. They are the movie that set up sequels that never get made. They are court cases that get caught in bureaucratic hell. They are police cold cases, never to be solved. They are pointless pieces of cloth worn around the neck as a form of fashion.
Ties suck.
Also if you aren’t listening to INTENTIONAL SOUNDING THE DRAW PLAY PODCAST you should because you can hear me and my co-host get really mad about excessive celebration flags and discuss how Tie soccer games are the reason the british empire crumbled.
CUBS
GO
LETS
Ties in (association) football can be exciting if a massive underdog somehow fends off the better team, or a team with 10 or less men manage to defend to the final whistle.
In football a draw is a point gained that could also ensure winning a title, or securing promotion/avoiding relegation (another mechanic American Football doesn’t have.)
The game is better designed for draws.
That tie in London was funny, but we shoulda won, what with the shanked kick and that bullshit call on Garçon.
That last panel gives me severe depression. Stop reminding me of the awful mess we got ourselves into.
GARY JOHNSON FTW!
^^ this. The title text gave me cancer tho, thanks Dave
My Damn Indians blew a 3-1 lead f*ck me
yeah still scratching my head on that one
How does Cleveland like 3-1 now?
Cavs still won and the Indians are still the best team in the AL going into next season. I’m more than happy to go at it again with the Cubs next October. This could turn into Yankees-Dodgers for a few years.
My prediction of the Cubs winning in extra innings in the 7th is right on. Except they came back from 3-1 instead of 3-0, so not *quite* as catastrophic for Cleveland as I’d predicted. So maybe the rivers will run red with myoglobin instead of blood.
Oh god Dave that’s terrifying, the only thing worse than getting Clinton or Trump in office, is getting them both at once! You have a devious mind indeed…
I had literally no idea what you were on about in this comic until I got to your write-up and realised that you were referencing ties as in ‘draws’. I seriously was looking at the ties the people were wearing for clues.
#GoCubs or something.
As a White Sox fan, let me tell you of a game that I wanted to end in a tie….
But in all reality, I would’ve rather seen the Indians win. I wouldn’t care as much, oh look, our division rivals are good.
Just picture a Jets vs Eagles Super Bowl, as a Giants fan. Wouldn’t you want that to somehow end in a tie?
AND I KNOW THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE, don’t nerd up the replies.
Owa Ozigduwa(?) was ridiculous. They try to sell the game to London while also stopping the players from having fun, or from taking a fucking FAKE PICTURE.
Ties are great when you despise both teams participating. For that reason alone, I will always be disappointed that they eliminated them in college football.
Also the college overtime rules are even worse than sudden death. Why not just play a fifth quarter and whoever has the lead at that point wins?
^^^. The NBA knows what’s up.
Something tells me there’s probably one fanbase in the NFL that would celebrate over a tie right now.
No we wouldn’t.
There’s a reason overtime was made a regular-season thing in 1974
I’ve got the dumbest way to settle nfl ties
Team with more fantasy points wins
Still better than the college overtime rules.
I prefer them over NFL overtime rules, where its just first team with a TD wins or first to a score wins
College overtime is, essentially, a baseball inning. It removes many of the elements that make football what it is, field position and time management in particular. The deviation from the rules of regulation play is asinine.
I would agree that the NFL’s sudden death rules aren’t all that appealing, but at least they play by the same rules of the regulation game otherwise.
I don’t understand why they just do it NBA style?
Is nba the same as arena and playoffs (infinite overtimes until someone wins)?
If they did it that way some player would keel over and die in a triple overtime game. Any time there’s a tie it’s pretty apparent how worn out the players are by the end of the game.
In the AZ-SEA game Cliff Avril had to leave for a couple of snaps to rehydrate with a saline IV. Of course that also had to due with the Seattle offense’s inability to give the defense a break.
From the title on top, I initially thought it was going to be a stupid joke about football players wearing neck ties.
Tom Brady is not a dog and therefore is not the GOAT
God damn it Dave! people like you are the reason why third parties don’t do well.
GIVE THEM ATTENTION AND THEIR NUMBERS WILL INCREASE!
Third parties are the reason third parties don’t do well. If they’d focus on building state level infrastructures and eventually gaining a few seats in the House and Senate they might get taken seriously. Instead they put up a sacrificial lamb for president every four years. That’s a winning strategy.
Not to mention the real problem is first past the post voting.
Yeah, we need approval voting.
Duverger’s Law. Our system is set up to create two large coalition parties, rather than a coalition of smaller, single issue parties. Third parties don’t do well, but the dominant force driving the main parties does turn over as our society evolves.
Are we just gonna ignore Ken Bone in the first panel
why not? we’re all ignoring the actual one now.
You heathen
Trump’s hands are too big.
So like, not to nitpick, but what professions are we talking about here? I don’t see any professionals in this comic, especially not the last strip.
I mean technically speaking, the only qualification to be a professional at something is getting paid to do it, and they’re both very rich, so ethically or otherwise, they are professionals.