There we go, fellas. It’s over. Another football season in the books. I feel simultaneously very smart for saying the Chiefs would win a low-scoring game and obviously not that smart because that was how they won basically every game this year.

I guess defensive struggles are a blessing and a curse. The first half of that game, and much of the second half, was a slog. The 49ers could not string together a solid drive and only got points off a creative trick play. The Chiefs did even less. Both teams had to rely on godly kicker performances to score points. For most of the game it felt like the 49ers were just…inches away from making that one breakaway play that broke the game open. It never happened. Spags unit held firm and Chris Jones probably should have been the game MVP. Purdy did his best with his still limited experience and skillset but it was not enough. The Chiefs defense did not allow anything downfield and stuffed McCaffery as best they could. It’s telling that if the 49ers won, the MVP would have probably gone to Jauan Jennings, the 3rd or 4th option on the team who by virtue of being the least important threat, made the biggest impact. If anyone on earth picked him to throw the game’s first touchdown, they are now rich.

But the blessing of a defensive struggle is that the game stays close and gets ever more tense as the game gets closer and closer to ending. For as unwatchable as the first half was, the second half and overtime became thrilling because something had to break and nothing was. Thankfully this wasn’t a Rams/Patriots repeat (What I think was the most unwatchable SuperBowl of the past 20 years) and the defense here started to sway a little bit as both teams got tired. You know what really made this game? The Chaos that crept through to keep it interesting.

Chaos was strong with the Super Bowl this year. It started early with a McCaffery fumble to stump the promising opening drive. The Chiefs got a massive bomb deep to finally move the ball and then a fumble directly afterward. Mahomes was swamped in the pocket every play and threw a stupid pick. The kickers both made field goals from the Bellagio Fountain. I don’t think there is a god of chaos, I think the idea of a god of chaos goes against the very idea of chaos, but if there is, that god was rooting for the Chiefs.

In the third quarter off a kick the ghost of Kyle Williams would strike the 49ers once more and the ball just ricocheted off a player’s foot, making it live, and the Chiefs would pounce on the ball. They would immediately score their first TD of the game to take a brief lead directly afterward. The game’s dynamic felt immediately different. But, you’d be forgiven for not noticing at first. The Chiefs had finally reached the endzone after some special teams flukery gave them a good field. But chaos wasn’t done. The 49ers would answer the Chiefs touchdown with the best drive yet, going ahead on a Jauan Jennings score. Jennings was turning into the David Tyree of this game. I remember thinking after the touchdown that the most chaotic thing that could happen would be a shank. I was almost right. The Chiefs would block the extra point, keeping the lead at a measly 3 points instead of 4, and anyone who has watched football for a long time probably made a sharp air intake. In a game like this, that point was pivotal.

After that block the 49ers grip on the game felt like it fully switched. The 9ers, despite leading, felt like they were now the ones on the ropes, under pressure to execute. To prevent the inevitability of Patrick Mahomes. They could not. After the Chiefs tied it up with another long kick the 49ers once again drove the field and faced a deathly important 3rd down at the two-minute warning. A conversion would allow them to run out most of the clock and kick an easy field goal to win. To be stopped and kick immediately would give the league’s current leading bullshit artist a two-minute drill all to himself. The Chiefs ran a perfect blitz, Purdy’s pass dropped to the ground, and sure enough: Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce did their bullshit. Although they were stopped and forced to kick a short field goal to cause overtime rather than win right there. That was a key point to that blocked extra point: if the Chiefs are down by 4 there, this game ends on the next play.

A lot has already been made of Kyle Shanahan’s decision to receive first when they won the toss. I honestly don’t mind his decision at all. In fact the discussion about the decision is partly why I wanted these overtime rules established in the first place: to make it an actual decision instead of a coin flip. If the other team is guaranteed a possession, do you give your defense a rest after they just got gassed on a drive and also ensure that should both teams remain tied after two guaranteed possessions, that you’d get the ball first in sudden death? I think Shanahan’s call was just fine and he’s getting too much criticism because it didn’t work out in his favor.

The 49ers managed to get a field goal and then Dr Bullshit MD led another game-winning drive to seal the deal with 3 seconds left in the first overtime period. It was the 7th longest game in NFL history. It started slow and turned into something great. Hell, you could say the same for the Usher halftime show. It was boring to start. By the end it was great. It was…a good super bowl.

I can never pick against Patrick Mahomes ever again. He’s not the GOAT, not yet, but he’s easily the BPRN, Best Player Right Now.

As for pics this season? What was your favorite? On the year this time I did just barely worse than last year, winning one fewer game. There were also no ties this year. Sad.

I’ve never had a week as bad as my 3-10 week 7 this year. Woof. Other interesting tidbits: I did not have any individual team nemesis this season, but I did very poorly on every AFCN team except the Ravens, who I was just above average on. The Steelers, Bengals, and Browns spent the entire year winning when I expected them to lose and losing when I expected them to win. Infuriating. I never had a longer losing streak than 6 games with the Broncos. I naturally did my best work in the NFCE, getting all 4 teams very correct overall. Cowboys were actually my most accurate team outside the Panthers, who I never picked to win a single game. Why would you?

CHAOS AWARDS 2023- COMING ON FRIDAY, AND I WANT YOUR HELP!
There will be no comic Wednesday. We shall save comics for next week. This Friday will be the second annual CHAOS AWARDS!

This year was significantly less clear on chaos than last season was. Since it’s hard to remember everything that went on this year as I am but one man doing this for a hobby, I would like your nominations as well. Name all the nominees you feel appropriate for each category, add why if you can, and on Friday we can laugh at the winners.

MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – Who was the weirdest team this year? Why? What kind of nonsense did they do?
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Who was all over the place performance wise? Who would get the ball in their hands and immediately cause a ruckus?
MOST CHAOTIC PLAY/MOMENT – What single play was the stupidest shit you saw? Playoff moments are acceptable here
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE DECISION – What dumb trade, hiring, firing, or else was the weirdest or dumbest thing that a team did?
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – Pretty self-explanatory, can also be a playoff game
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – Which coach consistently blew your mind
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – What shit happened in the media either about a player, or the NFL itself, to cause stupid discourse?
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – This is the Panthers. You know it, I know it. But feel free to nominate other teams we can still talk about, just to shit on them too.
ANY OTHER CATEGORY YOU THINK DESERVES TO BE AN AWARD AND WHY. Should be broad enough to have multiple nominees for it too.