Two Robbers Get A Big Surprise
Was going to post this last week since it was mostly done then but it seemed a bit iffy to post so directly after our country’s latest shootings in a history of gun-related garbage. I want to go ahead and apologize in the off-chance a couple of these panels bothered anyone on that front.
Jalen Ramsey, despite keeping fairly mum on the QB trash talking this time, isn’t done being a drama bomb quite yet. He showed up to Jaguars camp this season in an armored truck with bags of money, insinuating that he desires to join the ranks of the money elite out on the moon. This absurdly stupid stunt definitely did not get appreciated enough and I wish I had come up with this idea sooner.
He does know Tom Coughlin is not going to enjoy this, right? I can picture Coughlin getting the news on his local paper and freaking out. I feel like Coughlin has interns who print out news onto fake newspapers to put on Tom Coughlin’s desk every morning because Tom Coughlin doesn’t believe in reading the internet for news. Newspapers seem like a very Tom Coughlin thing. He likely picked up his Daily Jag-off Tribune, sipped his coffee, then spat it out when he saw the headline Ramsey had made. I imagine him jumping up and shaking his fist yelling “RAMMMMMMMSEY” and then huffing and puffing down the hall to yell at him some more.
I hope Ramsey does get paid and continues to pull off dumb stunts like this. I want him to take the same armored car to every home game and get escorted into the building by actual guards. The Jaguars were a dismal tire fire last year and the league was worse for it. A happy, egotistical Jalen Ramsey makes the NFL more fun. Pay the man. Antics are great and every team needs a showman. At least for a few years until they trade him to the Browns.
I’d honestly be okay if the Browns go all-in on the complete diva team. Baker. OBJ. Antonio Brown. Ramsey. Vontaze Burfict. Richie Incognito. Wait a minute maybe I’m just describing the current Raiders, shit.
I mostly just love the fact that the Raiders are becoming absolute clownshoes and they’re locked into a decade-long deal with Gruden. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Gruden when he was an analyst but he hasn’t coached since 2008. It’s a different league now. Not to mention trading away a shitload of Oakland’s best players and, like Dave’s description says, hiring a bunch of divas. Loving this absolute shitshow. Plus, AB is threatening to never play football again unless he gets his old helmet back.
It’s just a complete cavalcade of huge egos, strong personalities, general lunacy, and several one-man-shows going on right now and it’s….it’s just great to watch from afar.
The AB Helmet deal is done. He’s not retiring.
Not just divas. Over the hill divas. At least Baker and OBJ are both in their mid-20s.
As someone who has never watched Hard Knocks before (only got HBO in the last six months), I’m really disappointed by Chucky’s Circus, as it were. I was promised this GLORIOUS TRAINWRECK! And it’s just been… ho hum. Gruden seems mostly sane, he’s only yelled a few times, when it’s been warranted. They got rid of a lazy guy who didn’t want to work.
I was expecting drunks riding mules across the live practice field, horribly underthought practical jokes gone terribly awry… I mean, they didn’t even show the moment when AB showed up in his faux-decorated knockoff Raiders helmet and tried to use Jedi mind tricks on everybody to get in! If you’re not gonna show me THAT, what are we even here for?!
As a highly polished turd letting you take an *exceptionally filtered* view into what a mediocre team’s training camp looks like, it’s ok… I guess? But I was promised DRAMA. Drama all day and all night. Mark Davis has only shown up twice for like 5 seconds a pop, and they haven’t addressed that haircut or why he drives around in a minivan! They’re making Incognito look like a decent human being. I’m gettin’ dizzy from all the spin!
Wait… he already has Animal Crossing on Switch?
That’s “Florida Times-Union”, you insensitive brute.
Umm, yah what the hell, how did he get an early release of animal crossing?
“gun related” <— code words for someone who thinks the world has one variable.
It’s really amusing to see what sort of stuff gets an apology around here and what sort of just general offensiveness is completely taken for granted. Well, the artist has his biases, that’s for sure.