Massive Trainwreck
So last Friday I had some friends in town and we went on a nice hike up a nearby mountain called Dog Mountain in the Columbia River Gorge about an hour east of Portland. Those of you from the area probably know exactly what hike I mean. When we got finished with the hike we drove into Hood River, OR for lunch. On the way we noticed a huge plume of black smoke rising from a single small source a little further upriver. After lunch, on the way back to Portland, I realized the traffic on I-84 eastbound was a total mess. When I got back to PDX, I went on google and figured out why. This trainwreck pictured in the comic? Yeah that happened. I have no idea if it made national news or not. But hey, I saw a literal trainwreck + fire, so that’s something I can check off the bucket list.
The trainwreck has caused a massive storm of angry debate (you know the type) for locals about oil fracking and all that. How so many people saw this coming but nothing was done, the classic hindsight is 20/20 I told you so people who were honestly probably right. I don’t know, I wasn’t heavily invested in this particular political issue, because I’m a doofus who draws football jokes for the internet. What it did make me think about was Johnny Manziel and the utter trainwreck he’s become. I think the latest news was about him trashing some hotel room and getting sued about it. I don’t know, with Johnny it feels like the main derailment has already happened and each subsequent instance of trouble is just one of the back end cars finally falling off the track. It’s a blur. And all the people who thought he’d bust are silently smirking to themselves about being right.
I didn’t really have a point to any of this I just thought about trainwrecks and wanted to make a Johnny joke because I’m a heartless bastard.
The Johnny Manziel 30 For 30 is going to be really interesting when they inevitably make it years from now. I just hope for his sake it has a happy ending, because at this point I think we’re all expecting it to end in tragedy.
In the back of my mind, I’m wondering the same thing. I hate to wish anything on anybody even a division rival, but the kid really needs to get himself together.
I want to go back to 2014 where Johnny Football was a funny thing we laughed at and hoped had potential. Now the guy scared me to no end. He looks sick and refuses to listen to anyone. Hell, his own dad said he’s on a deadly path.
Who even cares about Manzieo anymore? If he doesn’t want to listen to anyone and ruin his own life, let him do it by himself.
Manziel*
I think the Cavs are more like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill than a complete trainwreck.
He’ll probably be in Cleveland when you get back from losing Game 5, LeBro…
You know, toasting marshmallows on the river…
Here’s to hoping Manziel can get better off the field so he can live a somewhat normal life.
We all miss Johnny, LeBron. Now go get injured and have Cleveland pull off a miracle (as unlikely as that would be, even with the king) without you.
Fuck Cleveland except the Indians. If a Cleveland team won a championship, the city would burn down
The Lake Erie Monsters are on the verge of doing just that.
Minor league doesn’t count. If that was the case, it would have already burnt down because of the Areos/Rubber Ducks.
I live in NE Ohio, don’t argue with me on thia
But the Aeros (I’m not used to calling them the RDs) are from Akron, not Cleveland. Big difference. No Cleveland team has won a title since 1964. And that doesn’t explain why you prefaced your first comment with “fuck Cleveland except the Indians”…
I’m an Indians fans but I hate eveything about Cleveland. The Aeros are a CLE minor team, the Monsters are a Columbus minor team so it would mean as much. The Cavs are out of it and the Indians could win it if Kluber got run support (like last night) and we got rid of Cody Anderson.
Hey, cavs might do it. They’re down 3-2, but they could pull off a Boston Red Sox and win it.
lol
Not sure if you guys saw this but in that video of Obama on The Tonight Show on Thursday night, when they “Slow Jammed the News,” Fallon calls Obama as “Prez Dispenser” at around the 4:53 mark. Long story short, they totally stole your idea, Dave.
LeBron, you’re down 3-1, on the verge of losing your 3rd Finals in a row, dropping to 2-4 in Finals play in the last 6 years (2-5 overall) and you’re worrying about Manziel?
Guess Cleveland’s never winning another championship…
The Cleveland Browns are an annual train wreck, Johnny was just one of many and probably the most entertaining. Now we finally know what to put as a logo on their helmets: a derailed train.
We must kill Omar Marteen
*Mateen
The event you’re referring to was Manziel renting a whole house for a party and then totally trashing it and not paying for the damages which ran to $32k
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp/2016/04/15/johnny-manziel-slapped-with-32000-bill-after-trashing-rental-house/
Who else came back here after game 7?
Lmao I went back to the comic about why Cleveland’s river catches on fire.