Tom Brady Finally Lets Loose
It took 20 years and 7 super bowl wins for Tom Brady to finally be cool. At least for a day.
The team had what looks like a righteous boat party. Outside the fact that none of them wore masks (THERE IS STILL A PANDEMIC AND IN FACT THE NEW VARIANTS ARE EVEN WORSE SO WEAR A FUCKING MASK), it looked like a kickass good time. I did not expect The Avocado Man who drinks only water and has a specialized diet to sell you and has almost no charisma or much personality to suddenly get visibly sloshed, chuck the trophy around willy nilly and require assistance to walk. Watching drunk off his ass Tom Brady giggle while someone guides him off the boat might actually be the most normal and human he’s seemed since…well probably the infamous photo of him standing in his underwear at the combine. Watching a guy half the league reveres as a literal god who’s entire greatness appears to be based around his control and focus let loose and stumble around like he’s seeing double coverage (if you get my drift) was genuinely funny.
Probably one of the first times I’ve seen him with some authenticity. All his media and on camera appearances usually have the air of a filtered and measured persona, which is to be expected with someone of his stature but still rings hollow. Tom frequently feels inauthentic and guarded, with even his admittedly good social media presence still feeling particularly curated. Again, that’s probably in part to his massive celebrity and likely largely a result of him living in a different world than most people (he also has a wife who is in the same game), but there are plenty of stars where part of their appeal is exactly how authentic they are and the contrast of someone like Marshawn Lynch to Tom Brady probably contributes to how easy it is to be annoyed and hate Brady. You never felt like Marshawn was inauthentic. In fact, that authenticity is the main reason Lynch just is so fucking cool.
Anyway, I made this because I still saw people clutching pearls about Tommy being drunk off his ass on a boat and stumbling around and even as a well-established Tom Brady hater I just can’t be mad at the guy for this one. As a person in my twitter mentions put it, don’t go after the guy for the one cool thing he’s actually done. I’m glad he got to enjoy his win in a way he probably never could in freezing-ass New England with Professor Grumpus telling everyone no days off.
Next week should be the dog post! Thanks to everyone who sent in a pup.
It’s funny how in a year where we’ve been beaten down and constantly reminded to expect the unexpected, it seems like every major American sports league capped off their seasons with arguably the most expected outcome. Tom Brady won a Super Bowl. Lebron won the NBA Finals. Alabama won the National Championship. Hell, even the LA Dodgers and Tampa Bay Lightning got their acts together won the World Series and Stanley Cup instead of choking when it mattered. Pretty ironic when you think about it.
You’d think there would be more chaotic outcomes given the circumstances, but I guess the sports Gods used this as an opportunity to beat everyone down even more.
Kershaw probably made a deal with Monkey’s Paw to get that title.
It was only a matter of time before the Dodgers put it together. I was pulling for Tampa Bay in that series (I know a very annoying Dodgers fan that gives me a headache just thinking about him) but that team was just far too loaded to keep blowing it in the big dance. Good for Kershaw, happy for Mookie, but I’d have rather seen Champa go 3 for 3 in title appearances this year.
NCAA Basketball is completely apeshit.
Kentucky, Duke, UNC, and Kansas are all out of the top 25. First time since since the early 60s.
Duke & Kentucky won’t even make the tournament.
Baylor is going to win the whole thing, and mid-majors are going to dominate.
Alabama may win the SEC…in BASKETBALL.
NCAA Basketball is usually a pretty massive chaos machine, to be fair, but you’re completely right about this season. What an absolute mess lmfao.
I almost wish Gronk had fumbled the Lombardi into the water when it got luzzed to him. Would have been the funniest thing since Real Madrid’s Sergio Ramos dropped the Copa Del Rey under the Real Madrid parade bus.
It wasn’t to gronk, it was cameron brate
It’s a common mistake. White guys all look alike. See also: Scotty Miller and Edelman.
Or at least funniest since he dented the last one when he decided to swing it at a baseball thrown his direction by Edelman on Red Sox opening day?
Reminds me of a story of a Stanley Cup trophy in 1905.
Meanwhile in Houston: thisisfine.jpg
Every Texans fan getting ready to trade in their jersey
Might need a big coin flip ceremony to decide if you’re supposed to root for Watt’s new team or Watson’s new team.
OMG JJ Watt got released.
looks like hes barfing out some kind of amoeba there, might want to get tested for covid
also seriously cant stop laughing at gronk in the last panel
It’s an avocado
much appreciated wet blanket william
It’s an avocado.
thanks buzzkill bob
Tom Brady probably hasn’t had an alcoholic drink in like 6 years. Combined with his low body fat, he’s probably a cheap drunk.
He did chug a beer with Stephen Colbert on his show in 2018.
After every Super Bowl Bill Belichick would invite every member of the team to a mandatory celebration party. It consisted of a slide show telling every player what they did wrong in the game and the only food was a plate of cold beans. Anyone who smiled was cut on the spot.
I wonder what Brown is up to in all this.
Eh, February in Boston can get pretty crazy. I remember the parade after Super Bowl 49. We’d just got hit with a snowstorm that dropped more than two feet on Boston the week before the game, and then another 16-inch storm hit in between the game and the parade. The streets were still piled with snow that turned the sidewalks into more of a narrow trench. We were on our way to shatter most of our “snowfall in X days” records, and 2015 turned into our snowiest winter on record.
The parade? Oh, not much, just Edelman standing on top of a duckboat’s roof, in just a T-shirt, waving flags and mocking Richard Sherman.
Those guys work out in the cold, they sure can party in the cold. 🙂
That twitter video, Is someone weekend at Bernies’ing TB12?
I’d love to see a comic of this.