I don’t know if there is a better schadenfreude in the NFL right now than the Cleveland Browns. Watching Watson play like a 3rd string practice squad QB against the Cowboys was genuinely hilarious. I hate the Cowboys and was still actively laughing at every terrible throw and enjoying every painful slap in the face the Browns received. It was delightful. I imagine it was pretty good for most of you, too. Because this was it. This was the funniest possible outcome. The Browns sold their soul for a predatory monster because he was good at football, and he’s only been very bad at football instead. This is what you fucking deserve, Haslam. A national embarrassment.

When Watson got what is now clearly the worst contract in NFL history after one of the worst trades in NFL history, it was disgusting. Here was a man who had rebelled against his former team and was now under investigation and accusation of Bill Cosby-level sexual misconduct, receiving the biggest contract in league history. Everything about his conduct was ignored because he could throw a football. It was sickening to see what was truly valued. This is not a new phenomenon. There are scumbags all over the league. Every one of our teams has had unsavory characters on it. None of us are guilt-free when it comes to looking the other way to at least some degree. But fans are not at fault for what organizations do. Fans do not consent to roster decisions. We support the organization as a concept. I do not blame any Browns fan who still roots for the Browns and still wants the team to succeed. The Browns existed before Watson and they will exist after him. A lot of Browns fans have distanced themselves to some degree, and even more just try to move past the elephant in the room and focus on ball. I get it. I’m not sure I could do it, but I get it. I don’t bear any of those fans any ill will.

But there have been pockets of vehement defenders. Anecdotal evidence, I know, but it sure is funny how every single one I’ve run into happens to be a Browns fan. Being a fan of a team does not mean you have to support everything the team does with your life. I do not purposefully go into the kind of spaces that have Watson defenders (because who would, yikes), but they do leak into other places at times. I’ve triggered a few from time to time with a tweet or an instagram post or right here on the site itself.  I’ve seen most of the defenses, and they are all incredibly weak. Yes, he was not charged. I know that. Yes, a couple of the women changed some details of their stories around as the investigation advanced. None of it holds nearly enough sway to convince me he’s not a predator. He is at least confirmed as a creep with a weird fetish. Many of the interactions I’ve had with those defenders were shockingly hostile, with very aggressive language and even threats used against me for having the opinion that he’s bad news. Telling me to keep his name out of my mouth or I’ll get put down, very normal stuff to say to someone over the internet in regards to a football player they don’t know or have any personal connection to.

There isn’t much point in rehashing the argument against him at this stage. Everyone has picked a side by now. What interests me is where the defenders go from here. Like mentioned, all of the defenses I’ve seen have come from Browns fans, and you have to presume it’s because Watson is now a Brown that they are emotionally invested in him being clean. If he’s clean, then the team was right to do everything, right? Then all of this is just league and media bias against Cleveland. If he’s clean, they were the righteous knights all along. But as it has become clear over these past few years…Watson isn’t even good anymore. The football part of this entire equation, the reason he was defended in the first place, the reason he was paid in the first place, the reason he was sought after in the first place…it failed.

He’s butt. Take away all of the off-field drama and pretend that Watson is a boy scout or just a victim of a grand extortion conspiracy by 20+ women and look at the result anyway. He’s fucking ass. He’s still the worst contract in NFL history. Watson’s suckage could be chalked up to rust his first few games back. Last year he was anus, but he got injured and missed a lot of time. But he’s still the deluxe package collectors edition of ass. Baker Mayfield took this team to a playoff victory. Jacoby Brissett had this offense humming in the top 10 for the time he was there. Joe Flacco came out of hospice and saved the season, putting up better numbers in almost every game than Watson has put up since 2020. The coaching isn’t a problem. The roster isn’t a problem. The QB is the problem. Watson sucks. He’s toast. He looks like he doesn’t give a shit. Why would he? He’s got two seasons of being paid over 100 million a year no matter what. The Browns are in such a staggering pit because of this terrible decision to give 250 million to an accused rapist. It’s impossible to not smile with glee when they fail because of him.

It’s week 1. There is of course still time for Watson to figure it out but at this stage you have to have a staggering optimism to assume he will. Whether anybody likes it or not, Watson is getting paid an obscene amount for the next 3 seasons. The only chance Cleveland has to be rid of him is if he gets caught doing something against conduct policy again and they can activate a clause in his contract to void it successfully. Hey, Watson just got slapped with another lawsuit regarding predatory misbehavior! Maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s the out. The Browns should honestly invest in the case and see if they can use it to save themselves from this mistake and put Watson out on his ass.

For now, I’ll just try to enjoy every ounce of failure he generates.