The Steelers have the worst “best” problem in football: a quarterback controversy.

We know what this means. It means you don’t have a good enough QB to lead the team (most of the time, I will name exceptions later). It reminds me of Syndrome’s comment in The Incredibles. If everyone is special, nobody will be. If you have two starters, you actually have none.

Pittsburgh’s quarterback situation is not very enviable. On one hand, you have a very cheap former star who is well past his prime and has not churned out a good performance for several years. Russ is going to have to do a lot to prove he is not washed up. But at least he’s cheap. Thanks, Broncos. On the other hand, you have a draft bust who spent several seasons falling far short of expectations on bad teams, and who decided to clean house when presented with a shiny new toy from USC. Now both of these bums are duking it out for a place in an organization that has stumbled over its own two feet trying to find a solution at QB ever since Large Benjamin decided to finally fuck off. I’m actually surprised the Steelers haven’t gotten more shit for how bad the QB room has been since Fats McRape left the building. The Pudgy Predator wasn’t even a Mike Tomlin pick, he inherited him. Maybe Mike Tomlin sucks at developing QBs. Can we make this a national talking point?

So far in camp there’s been some QB drama. Russ hasn’t been practicing as much as expected, nursing some pains. Fields has apparently been playing better than expected. Now we have the problem. Which of these guys actually gets the gig? Russ is still the presumed starter at this point but Russ is not a confident choice and he’s very unlikely to be the long-term option anyway. He’s here because he’s cheap on loan from Denver and he’s better than Kenny “Enemy of Osaka” Pickett. This is easily Russ’s last chance to be relevant. If he fails in Pittsburgh the best he can hope for is backup gig until he retires. Considering that he’s already at least a mild risk of losing his job, that’s bad!

Fields actually has a chance to turn things around here. The pressure is on Russ. Fields is considered a bust and a backup now. He can let loose. He can bury himself in the game. He can stop giving a fuck. If Justin Fields fails, Steeler Nation will merely sigh. But if Fields succeeds? He probably won’t command a huge contract, and the Steelers are back in business. Fields could save Pittsburgh from itself. He would have to stop fumbling and scrambling into linebackers and throwing the ball into the dirt but hey, anything is possible. I guarantee that there are factions of Steelers fans rooting for Fields over Russ. They aren’t quite wrong to do so.

So Pittsburgh’s future hinges on either of these two dummies. The only times I can remember a QB controversy working out was Dak/Romo and, ironically, Russ/Flynn. In both cases the expected starter was usurped by a mid-round rookie who proved to be much better in preseason than anyone expected.  That’s a different scenario than two has-beens fighting for redemption. Dak didn’t even beat out Romo, Romo got hurt and Dak simply never gave the job back. Matt Flynn never should have been there in the first place.

Hey, not having a true starter is a bad problem. But it could be worse. Kenny Pickett is in danger of losing the backup job in Philly. No matter who the Steelers roll with this season, they still upgraded.