The Puppy League Gets Worse
Is nothing safe from terrible Rufferees?
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME OF THE YEAR IT IS. IT’S PUPPY PUN TIME
Coach of the Year Brian PitBull
Offensive Pupper of the Year Justin Rufferson
MVP Puptrick Mahumps
Defensive Pupper of the Year Lick Bosa
Comeback Pupper of the Year Geno Sniff
Walter Payton Pup of the Year Hack Prescott
Do not expect the Super Bowl wrap-up post till at the very least, Tuesday. You can see the picture I make via social media that night after the game if you can’t wait, but I was going to do a big ol’ season Chaos wrapup post to finish the year off for the only post next week. Since you’re here, let’s make up some nominations! I’m sure I’ll forget some things so your input will help me remember viable candidates. Gimme at least one nomination (and maybe your reasoning) for each of these categories:
Most chaotic team
Most chaotic play
Most chaotic player
Most chaotic game
Most chaotic front office decision
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun
Most chaotic coach
Maybe another few categories if you think of any
Probably some bad takes here but screw it, I’mma make some nominations.
Most chaotic team: MIN (I wouldn’t be surprised at them being runaway winners here. Negative point differential. That is all.)
Most chaotic play: Fumble recovery touchdown late in BUF-MIN (Lots of great choices, but I gotta go with this one. The game was OVER at this point and then suddenly it wasn’t because of the Vikings’ weekly dose of Deus Ex Machina.)
Most chaotic player: Jakobi Meyers (Vegas game. That is all.)
Most chaotic front office decision: Jeff Saturday. That is all.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: KC (had their one Belichick-style early-season loss that the media overreacted to and then… nothing. Watching Mahomes bullshit isn’t novel anymore after five seasons imo. Philly had Hurts’ injury and SF had a lot of their run being with BIG COCK BROCK and BUF… had that game with MIN, but I don’t recall any of that with KC. Seriously, they’re a couple seasons of bullshit luck away from being the new age Belichick Patriots but with a more interesting quarterback.)
Most chaotic coach: Lovie Smith (Just for that last five-game run that clearly screamed “fuck it, y’all aren’t keeping me around anyway so i’mma fuck up your tank out of spite”. Nearly exposed Dallas as frauds, played KC close, exposed TEN as frauds, had the one stinker against JAX, and then won an insanely chaotic game against Indy to fall out of the number one pick. Was considering Hackett here but decided to go a little less obvious.)
Its crazy, if Lovie had found the Gas Peddle at the start of the season (where he went for and tied the game, instead of the win), he would still be the coach of the Texans. But he coached a conservative game for 12 games, and made it seem he wanted to be tank commander. Sure most of the games were “close”, but until that last game they played so “safe” on every
Most chaotic team: The Jags! Are they good? Are they bad? Lawrence is a bust! Lawrence is god! Doug Pederson is a hack! Doug Pederson turned this franchise around! They lost to the Broncos and the Texans! They beat the Cowboys and the Ravens! Five game losing streak! Five game winning streak! They’re at the bottom of the division! They’re in the playoffs! No team quite exemplified the crunchy lows and creamy highs of football quite like our friends from Duval.
Most chaotic play: The Patriots lateral attempt in the Raiders game.
Most chaotic player: Baker Mayfield rising from the ashes to destroy the Raiders two days after signing with the Rams.
Most chaotic front office decision: Jeff Saturday would be the obvious choice, but the Broncos going from hiring Hackett to lure AA Ron to Denver, failing, trading a king’s ransom for old and broken Russ, firing Hackett two games before the end of the season, and then trading a queen’s ransom for Sean Payton, last seen making a cameo in a Happy Madison movie about him staring the dude from the King of Queens, this has been quite the rollercoaster.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: The Broncos. Best defense in the league (until like week 15 when they finally stopped giving a shit) and the worst offense make for very shitty, very boring games, and they had three of the worst ones in the NFL last year; vs. The Colts, vs. the Niners and the magnum opus game against the Rams where they styled 52 points on us and Russ got clowned by a fucking cartoon starfish.
Most chaotic coach: Oh look, Josh McDaniels came into another franchise, tanked their season and drove off their star quarter back! And in the same division as the team he did it to the last time, no less.
Derek Carr is not a star QB lmao. Guy has been slightly above average at best for the bulk of his career and maybe was a top 10 QB one or two seasons. And if he was he was 9th or 10th. It was time to move on. I’m a Patriots fan so I am admittedly incredibly biased but I still think McDaniels will work out in Vegas. I think he’s matured and he’s a great play caller. It’ll take time though, the owner and fan base just needs to be patient and I get that’s hard cause the team has sucked for so long, but that’s how it is.
He was a star QB by Raiders standards, have you seen their QB hydra between Gannon and Carr? Also, the other guy he drove off was Jay Cutler, who was just Derek Carr but with a personality, so I realize we’re not talking elite talent, but a solid QB is surprisingly hard to find in the NFL.
As for categories, here’s a couple off the top of my head;
The James Corden Memorial Award (for annoying franchise you are sick of and just want to die already): Mine would be the Chiefs and their smug ass fanbase.
The “Don’t Go Away Mad, Just Go Away” award (For player you are the most sick of seeing): Tom Brady if he comes out of retirement, otherwise it’s Joey “White Claw” Bosa.
Defensive rookie of the year: Sauce Guard Dog
Offensive rookie of the year: Grrrret Woolfson
Most Chaotic Team: The Vikings by a nautical mile. Three words: Negative Point Differential
Most Chaotic Play: Either the Meyers lateral or the Bills fumble on the goal line. It’s so close that you could flip a coin…oh wait.
Most Chaotic Player: Bailey Zappe, for making the entire world think he was the starter until he wasn’t
Most Chaotic Front Office Decision: Jeff Saturday
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: The Broncos and the Colts, equally
Most Chaotic Coach: Brian Daboll, simply for allowing the Giants to win
Most Chaotic Game: Bills vs Vikings
My BEST PUPPY: Kennel Pickett
Most Chaotic Team: Vikings, Giants, or Jaguars.
Most Chaotic Play: Patriots Lateral, or Ravens/Bengals Goal line fumble,
Most Chaotic Player:
Most Chaotic Front Office Decision: Jeff Saturday
Least Chaotic boring piece of shit team: Broncos or Texans, maybe Cards or Falcons
Most Chaotic Coach: Josh McDaniels, Jeff Saturday, maybe Dan Campbell
Most Chaotic Game: Colts v Broncos, Colts vs Vikings, I didn’t watch a lot of non Colts games
Most chaotic team – The Vikings, because they couldn’t play a normal game all year
Most chaotic play – The Bengals fumble return in the playoffs, because I couldn’t tell what happened live
Most chaotic player -Russel Wilson, not for his play, but for the situation with the Seattle trade, his contract, AND his play affecting multiple franchises in the process
Most chaotic front office decision – Jeff Muffigin’ Saturday because nepotism
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun
Most chaotic coach
Most chaotic team: Seahawks, Giants, or Jaguars due to exceeding every expectation possible.
Most chaotic play: Pats failed lateral cause lol.
Most chaotic player: idk. Not sure how chaos qualifies in a person.
Most chaotic front office decision: Jeff Saturday.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: I’d say the bears but at least they had Fields and the Texans weirdly fought to the end against the cowboys and chiefs so um, the broncos. Nobody liked watched them excluding week 5 for me.
Most chaotic coach: Do Josh McDaniels and Nathaniel Hackett destroying their teams count for this?
I’d also want to nominate Colts Broncos for the most enjoyable game of the year (unironically for me, ironically for everyone else)
Chaotic team – Giants.
Chaotic Play – Patriots lateral
Chaotic Player – Geno
Chaotic front office decision – Trading away AJ Brown
Least Chaotic team – Saints. Kind of just existed this year.
Chaotic coach – Dan Campbell. His to lose
Team: Vikings
Play: Fumble in the Jungle
Player: Justin Fields (most schadenfreude)
FO decision: Hiring Jeff Saturday
Least chaotic: Saints
Coach: Jeff Saturday (he gets 2)
Most chaotic team: Rams, worst Super bowl hangover in history and holy shit BAKER
Most chaotic play: Pat’s late game attempt against the Raiders
Most chaotic player: Brock Purdy, he was a last overall pick and KICKED ASS
Most chaotic front office decision: NOT FUCKING FIRING MATT CANIDA
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: Texens, they were fun in week one because they tied otherwise i watched none of their games
Most chaotic coach: Nathaniel Hackett, HOW DID HE SOMEHOW MAKE RUSSEL WILLSON SUCK
If Brett Maher does not make the list, even as a honorable mention, I’m going to be pissed XD. 5 missed PATs in a row (6 with the blocked one) has to be the special teams chaos of the season.
ooooooh this is a good new category
On a related note, I would like to give the 49ers credit for avoiding chaos. They went undefeated with QB3. Heck, they even held up for a while against the Eagles, on the road, with QB4. Kudos to them for that
They didn’t though. I would argue that going undefeated to the NFCCG with Mr Irrelevant, getting better with him under center, is it’s own form of chaos. The expected result there was struggle, chaos is the opposite of what’s expected
Most chaotic team: Gotta go with my Vikings this year. They managed to win despite their fraudulence until the freaking playoffs. Negative point differential!
Most chaotic play: Minnesota fumble recovery at the goal line vs Buffalo. I mean, how?
Most chaotic player: Brett Maher, if only for a short stretch. Seriously, any one of us reading this comic could have put one of those extra points through purely by accident. You have to be touched by chaos to be that bad.
Most chaotic front office decision: Jeff freaking Saturday.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: The Broncos. The narrative around them was something, but the way they sucked on the field was so forgetful.
Most chaotic coach: Dan Campbell. Is he good or not?
Most chaotic game: Any one the Vikings won, but the Colts game took the cake.
Most chaotic position on a team: 49’ers QB.
Coach that should have been fired during the season but wasn’t: Again, bias but I need to rip on Ed Donatell once more. If he had been canned sooner, maybe the Vikings make a deeper playoff run instead of crapping their pants against the Giants.
Most chaotic team: The Vikings. It was always the Vikings. Honorable mention to sexy Jags but it’s the Vikings.
Most chaotic play: The lunatic lateral. The fact that this completely unnecessary, utterly moronic play sealed the fucking *patriots’* playoff fate cements it as the most chaotic. Honorable mentions to the butt punt, Jimmy G pulling an Orlovsky, Bills fumbling the snap at the goal line and the Huntley fumble at the 2 yard line being run back for a touchdown by a DE (this play hurts me deeply).
Most chaotic player: Plenty of choices, you’ve got Russell Wilson for being total ass when nobody expected that, Melvin Gordon for being MVH (most vaseline on hands), Kirk Cousins for being the field general of Utter Nonsense, Brett Maher for becoming the main character of the playoffs as a kicker because he suddenly could not make a PAT to save his life, Tyler Huntley again for somehow making the pro bowl while throwing for an illustrious ~600 yards. But I think I have to give it to Brock Purdy for his rise from last guy picked in the draft to starter with a combined record of 7-1, over 1300 total yards of offense, and a passer rating of 107. Legendary stuff and I’m still mad we got robbed of a real match up between his niners and the eagles.
Most chaotic front office decision: I really can’t give it to anything other than the decision to hire Jeff Saturday. Jim Irsay was in his bag on that one (the bag contained nothing but crack pipes).
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: The one cardinals game I watched this year I fell asleep halfway through. At least I stayed awake for the saints game I watched.
Most chaotic coach: Jeff Saturday is a strong contender for merely existing, but I have to give it to Kevin O’Connell for being the guy in charge of the Vikings party bus. Honorable mention to Urban Meyer because this year emphasized just how much of a trash fire his tenure was.
Most chaotic 4th quarter team: The Vikings almost take this but my Ravens were NEVER safe in the 4th, no matter what kind of lead we built. It was the most interesting part of what was otherwise a miserable offense to watch when Lamar went out.
I gotta agree the 4th quarter Ravens were the most chaotic team, especially in the first half of the season.
Most chaotic team: Gotta be the vikes
Play: Gotta be the pats
Player: I’m actually go on a limb and say geno smith, because no one predicted this. He wasn’t like brock purdy just managing the game, he was legitimately good for no apparent reason. He has been left for dead for years now.
FO decision: by FO decision, can you include trades? Cause the mccaffrey deal was pretty big. Otherwise, probably saturday. Esp since he won his first game and then blew ass the rest of the way.
Least chaotic team: I wanna say the texans because that was an embarrassing slog from start to finish but they started the season with a tie. Instead I’ll go with the falcons. Who actually thought the falcons had a chance to win the div? There’s no way marcus mariota is leading some glorious charge.
Most chaotic coach: I dunno, I thought it was funny when the chiefs did a merry-go-round on the field pre-snap, reid seems like a fun guy
Most chaotic team: Easy money is on the Vikings, but I’d also like to submit the raiders for blowing a comical number of insurmountable leads.
Most chaotic play: final play of LV/NE. is there any question?
Most chaotic player: Russel Wilson and Geno smith, combined effort, my favorite storyline of the season
Most chaotic front office decision: we need a new head coach, well our old center does a pretty cool sports segment
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: maybe I’m bitter, maybe this is the eagles
Most chaotic coach: lets give it to lovie smith for going for 2
Guess I’ll try my hand at this –
Most Chaotic Team: Minnesota. Not even really up for debate here. Has there ever been a 13 win team that finished the season with negative point differential? Honorable mentions would be Jacksonville and Pittsburgh for crazy turnarounds as well as San Francisco for popping off with Mr. Irrelevant at QB for the entire back-half of the season.
Most Chaotic Play: ‘Poo Your Job’ as someone here perfectly dubbed it. You can’t adequately describe whatever this shitshow was in words. Just watch it in all its glory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L4xWutzPKw. HM isn’t so much one play but the final minutes of Vikings-Bills since you had JJet’s unreal catch and the fumble TD at the goal line after Buffalo’s defense put up a goal line stand.
Most Chaotic Player: Playoff Brett Maher. Has one of the worst performances we have ever seen from a kicker in the Wild Card round. Takes that crap into the Divisional and immediately shanks an XP that gets blocked… then accounts for HALF of Dallas’ total score to finish that game. Can’t script that any better if you tried honestly. Pretty huge tossup for Honorable Mentions here; Brock Purdy. Geno Smith. Russell Wilson. Hell, even Kenny Pickett in the second half of the season with a few late game comebacks and game winning drives.
Most Chaotic Front Office Decision: The Jeff Saturday hire. Another very easy choice here. No clue what the Colts were thinking and it ended up working out… for like a week. No HMs here. Nothing else really came close.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: I’m gonna roll with Tampa Bay here but you could pretty much list any team from the NFC South this season and you would be right. The only reason Tampa could be considered chaotic is because they had the GOAT and I doubt anyone expected them to be as bad as they were, but that’s about it. They were your typical putrid offense carried by an inconsistent but highly talented defense that did everything to try to keep the game close enough to bullshit a win at the end. Rarely scored over 20. Got thrashed by good competition whenever they faced it. Took advantage of an overall terrible schedule and horrid division to get an undeserved home playoff game after a losing season (where they promptly got thrashed in humiliating fashion). They had one good game all year to win the division and that was it. Otherwise they were straight up unwatchable.
Most Chaotic Coach: Brandon Staley. I’m surprised he hasn’t been mentioned here. Man has some utterly baffling decision making in crucial moments and is largely to blame for blowing a 27-0 lead in a game where his offense didn’t even turn the ball over while his defense picked off T-Law 4 times and forced another fumble on top of that. Dude’s hilarious.
Coach seems to be the hardest pick for people but you’ve made a solid case
A lot of people seem to be saying Lovie Smith and while that’s totally fair, I think there’s too much emphasis being put on his final fuck you to the Texans in Week 18. He was largely forgettable for the rest of the season. Meanwhile it feels like I’m questioning Brandon Staley damn near every week.
That Jags/Chargers playoff game is a strong candidate for Most Chaotic Game too…
Chargers-Jags and Colts-Vikings were also very solid choices for the most chaotic game but it’s so hard to look past the entire 4th quarter of that Vikings-Bills game and not be moved. New England also had quite a few weird ass games this season as well. Just too many choices for that honestly.
I’ve only got: Most chaotic team – 49ers. This is especially if you count the preseason with all of the Jimmy rumors and then he just winds up staying and playing backup to Lance…who gets a season-ending injury, forcing Jimmy G to come back…until he goes down to another season-ending injury. Who’s left? The dude who was the last pick in the draft. His first game as a starter? Against TOM FUCKING BRADY. And they didn’t just win. They dominated the Bucs on both sides of the ball. Mr. Irrelevant outplayed the Goat. There is no way anyone could’ve guessed how the season would go for the Niners week to week and I feel that is the definition of chaos.
Great hover-text, btw…
Steelers/Bengals week 1 was an acid trip that everyone forgot about due to the other acid trips this season. That game had everything: pick 6, INT by a pass rusher, Burrow getting creamed, a comeback, a TD that Taylor was too dumb to challenge and make a TD, a catch of the year nominee, backup long snapper ruining everything, the loudest doink you’ll ever hear, garbage clock management, the Holy Roller rule, DPOY getting injured, ending in a 23-20 upset in the last seconds of OT
Most chaotic team: 100% the Vikings. We were a 2-15 team masquerading as a 13-4. It’s easy to blame Donatell for our shortcomings, but it’s isn’t solely his fault for how our season ended. Still, firing him was the correct decision, and hopefully Flores will be able to remedy our shitshow of a defense. I mean, it can only go up from here, right? …right?
Most chaotic play: Ooh, this is a tough decision between “fumble recovery into the Bills endzone for a TD” or “unnecessary (and fatal) lateral play while they were tied”. But I have to give it to the lateral play, because that play alone may have been the reason New England missed the playoffs this year.
Most chaotic player: Probably Brock Purdy. It might not be the first time a Mr. Irrelevant had experienced playoff success, but this Mr. Irrelevant is making a name for himself. It’s really too bad what happened in the NFCCG, I would have loved to have seen him make it all the way.
Most chaotic game: My Vikings bias taking over here, it’s Colts vs Vikings. A game I had stopped watching after the first quarter (although I still kept tabs of the score, it’s less infuriating to read than it is to see it in action). I was adamant in thinking the comeback was a mirage, but once we pushed it into OT, I HAD to see it unfold, despite feeling it in my gut that we were going to fuck it up somehow. We didn’t. Still, the victory I felt was a Pyrrhic one, because the fraud narratives were given legitimacy at that point (though you could argue they were legitimate after the blowout loss to the Cowboys, you know, the game that CBS stopped airing during the 3rd quarter and switched to a more competitive game in Steelers vs Bengals?).
Most chaotic front office decision: Definitely Jim Irsay hiring Jeff Saturday. The fact that he’s actually being considered to get the job full time tells me that Colts are in super hell.
Least chaotic team: Eagles. Yeah, sure, they had a softball schedule, but you can’t argue that they don’t know how to put games away. Efficient football, no theatrics.
Most chaotic coach: Man, there’s a lot of choices. I honestly don’t know who to definitively pick…but I’ll have to go with Nathaniel Hackett with how utterly unprepared he was for the role of head coach. A tenure so awful, the Waltons didn’t even wait two more weeks for the season to end before sending him packing. Next season will show us if HE was the problem or Russ is (though to be fair, it could’ve been both).
Whew, that was fun.
Most chaotic team: Buccaneers. 8-9 Record under Brady, still made the playoffs, get blown out in said playoff to the Cowboys
Most chaotic play: Jacobi Meyers Lateral
Most chaotic player: Brett Maher
Most chaotic game: Chargers vs Jags
Most chaotic front office decision Telling Lovie Smith he was fired before a game they needed him to lose.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: Steelers. Non factor all year. But Tomlin inexplicably still pulls an over .500 season out of his butt.
Most chaotic coach: Dan Campbell
I’ll just go with ones that haven’t been said already.
Chaotic player: Eli Apple. The dude is singularly hated by multiple teams. Baker Mayfield bouncing around to different teams is also a possibility.
Most chaotic press conference category: Zach Wilson not taking responsibility for the loss (and then getting benched for it). Ron Rivera not realizing his team was eliminated from the playoffs.
I also feel like there should be a category for Brett Maher missing all those extra points and field goals, but not sure where it fits best. “Most chaotic playoff performance,” perhaps? (But the Jags have that big comeback. Maybe having a chaotic playoff performance for a team and then for an individual player).
Most chaotic team: The Vikings, Giants, and Seahawks are all good choices, but I think you could also make an argument for the Lions. The great defense and terrible offence combo (looking at you broncos) is boring as heck, but switch it around and you get bonkers games like the Seahawks-Lions slugfest. Watching Campbell and Co drop 30s and 40s while still loosing was so ridiculous. Also they dunked the Packers out of the playoffs, that’s definitely extra points.
Most chaotic play: The Pats lateral disaster has an argument for a top five dumbest play of all time. No competition.
Most chaotic player: Kirk Cousins was the commander of the Minnesota chaos machine, but it’s hard to argue against the man born of chaos, Brock Pudry himself. The fact that he even set foot on a football field makes him chaotic, but it was he did on the field that cemented his status. The rookie nobody heard of didn’t loose a game until he couldn’t even throw the football for how banged up his arm was. A shame we won’t be seeing him again for awhile.
Most chaotic game: Nothing could’ve been more Vikings (or more Colts for that matter) than the 33-0 comeback. It was the epitome of both good and bad chaos this season. Also lol Matt Ryan.
Most chaotic front office decision: With the benefit of hindsight, we know guys like Hackett were terrible hires, but it wasn’t immediately obvious. Jeff Saturday, on the other hand, was a dumb idea from the start. Everyone knew it except Jim Irsay apparently. What’s more, Saturday came sort of close to making us all take him seriously, which would have made things even more chaotic.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: Since I can’t put the entire NFC South here, I’ll go with the Saints. Teams like the Broncos and Colts were atrocious, but at least there were reason to laugh at them as they spiraled downward. The Saints were just so dull all season long.
Most chaotic coach: Brian Daboll made the playoffs with Jones, Barkley, and just about nothing else. After so many bad Giants coaches, Daboll made the G-men believe in themselves and play their hearts out, and they went so much farther than anyone thought they could.
New category! Most chaotic ending to a game: Some games are chaotic throughout, but sometimes games that are just ok (Ravens-Dolphins) or even downright unwatchable (Pats-Jets) have a burst of chaos right there at the end. Really I just want to bring up Joe Flacco, hero of men, for that comeback in week 2. Not only did Cleveland have it coming, but I just loved that we were talking about Joe Flacco in the year of our Lord 2022. There were plenty of comebacks this season, but this one certainly deserves some recognition.
Most Chaotic Team: Minnesota Vikings. Easy.
Most Chaotic Play: Poo Your Job. Even if that went the way he wanted to, Jones is getting killed and probably fumbling and it’s the same result
Most Chaotic Player: Eli Apple. Is he gonna talk trash, let up an easy TD, or both?
Most Chaotic Game: I have two for this one. I think the Bills-Bengals MNF game was chaos gone for the worst, because of the unfortunate medical scare. For a more positive answer, I’ll say the Colts shitting themselves against the Vikes
Most Chaotic Front Office Decision: Trading AJ Brown
Least Chaotic Boring Piece of Shit Team That Nobody Liked Watching Because They Weren’t Any Fun: Packers. Everything they were capable of, we’ve seen, and this year they just played worse than that.
Most Chaotic Coach: I’m giving this to Mike Tomlin for keeping his winning record streak alive despite all evidence showing the Steelers were not that good of a team.
The James Corden Memorial Award (for annoying franchise you are sick of and just want to die already): Chiefs fans (exception: James Droz)
The “Don’t Go Away Mad, Just Go Away” award (For player you are the most sick of seeing): Tom Brady, of course. But since he’s never gonna actually go away and just hop in a booth, I’ll say Aaron Rodgers.
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Sauce Gardner
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Brock Purdy
Special Teams Chaos of the Year: Brett Maher lol
Most Chaotic Position on a Team: Starting QB for the 49ers
Most Chaotic 4th Quarter Team: Baltimore Ravens
Most Chaotic Press Conference: I think most people are gonna say Zach Wilson, so I’ll pick something else. Brian Daboll, when asked if he could walk on water, saying he’d sink like a SOB
Most Chaotic Playoff Performance: Also Brett Maher lol
Most Chaotic Ending to a Game: Poo Your Job
Chaos Team: Vikings. Reminded me of the 2011 Packers going 15-1 with the league’s worst defense. Right down to getting slapped out of the playoffs by the Giants, who are apparently always there to regulate unworthy NFC North teams. A 61-yard field goal isn’t even a notably chaotic way for them to win a game. When was the last 13-win team with a loss as bad as their 40-3 massacre at the hands of Dallas?
Chaos Play: Poo Your Job. Of all the coaches in NFL history, Bill Belichick is the last one I’d ever think would lose a game that way. It would be funny for any team to lose that way, but it is at least twice as funny because it cost BILL BELICHICK the playoffs. Dude just casually trucking Mac Jones in slow motion was exquisite.
Chaos Player: Geno Smith. Came out of nowhere to create a playoff team in Seattle. I like giving this to a player who was chaotic over the course of a season.
Chaotic Game: Colts Vikings meltdown
Chaotic front office decision: I vote AJ Brown over Jeff Saturday because the latter didn’t really change much, the Colts were already rudderless. The Titans decided to trade an all pro wideout for the chance to maybe replace the guy they were trading. The Titans were a team that was supposed to matter this year and they crippled their passing game for no good reason while elevating the Eagles to a Super Bowl contender
For the least chaotic boring piece of shit team…you could just put in the entire-ass NFC South, who all sucked in a middling way and finished with virtually identical records. They largely just slapped into each other for 3 hours in forgettable slogs outside of the PJ To DJ game. The NFC South should have been excluded from the Yoffs.
You’re all sleeping on Mike McCarthy for chaos coach of the year. He started off by making everyone think the Bucs D was still unstoppable, then ripped off 6 of his next 7, losing to the fraud-ass Packers and then nuking the Vikes from orbit. He had 6 losses including the playoffs and only one was Normal, a 17-26 loss to the Eagles in October. Outside of that, the offense totally disappeared twice (including a baffling 26-6 loss to the FootCommanders to end the regular season) and there were two overtime road losses…and then of course McCarthy lead the Cowboys into the playoffs, where Brett Maher forgot how to kick.
McCarthy concluded his campaign for Chaos Coach Of The Year by dialing up one of the worst desperation plays I’ve ever seen.
“Furrsonal foul” and not “Purrsonal foul”?
Most chaotic play has to be the chiefs spin huddle. It combined:
-Trick play
-Funky chaos
-Getting called back on brain dead penalties.
My runners up are Zeke at center, the Lions screen and lateral in week 18, and the Jakobi Meyers lateral
Chaos team is the Giants, with the Vikes in 2nd – the fraud squads.
Most chaotic game might just be Vikings-Bills.
Most boring team is easily the Saints.
Chaos coach is Daboll, with Campbell in 2nd place.
Most chaotic team – The Vikings. The way they would win such tight and close bullshit games had to be seen to be believed. There was the Vikings-Bills ending, the Vikings-Giants round 1, and then Vikings-Colts (more and that later).
Most chaotic play – Jakobi Meyers lateral. To think the PATRIOTS of all teams would enact such a play was quite the sight to behold.
Most chaotic player – Geno Smith. No one had any expectations for him this year, and to see him come back as he did was a sight to behold. Hopefully he keeps up the momentum next year.
Most chaotic game – Vikings – Colts. The largest blown lead ever. Jeff Saturday’s masterpiece.
Most chaotic front office decision – Jeff Saturday as the head coach of the Colts. Yes, he’s no longer going to be the coach, but the fact Frank Reich was the fall guy only for this to be the lateral move only proves the Colts are in for a dark time ahead. It’s probably only a matter of time before Ballard fucks off too.
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun – This is also going to be my vote for most frustrating team: the Broncos. All that talent, and they completely and utterly shit the bed away.
Most chaotic coach – Lovie Smith. The fact he chose to win and fuck up Houston’s tank out of pure spite is some legendary shit that has massive implications on the future of the league. For that alone, I think Smith deserves to win.
Most chaotic team: Vikings, Self explanatory
Most chaotic play: Jakobi Meyers. A crazy lapse of judgement that somehow leads to a win.
Most chaotic player: I saw someone tie Russ and Geno together and I like that. I’d say that would be in
Most chaotic game: I really want to say Jags/Chargers, but nothing beats Colts/Vikings
Most chaotic front office decision: Hiring Jeff Saturday is up there, but I’d go with the Bears trade deadline. Basically ended up trading Roquan for Chase Claypool but worse
Least chaotic boring piece of shit team that nobody liked watching because they weren’t any fun: The Saints were not worth paying any attention to. Maybe Steelers but they had some guys.
Most chaotic coach: Lovie caused chaos at the end but Hackett had some bullshit every week. There are some other options too (Sirianni, O’Connell, Daboll, Pederson) but Hackett has the insanity.