The Patriots Get Some Much Needed Film Footage
Please another dumb offseason Patriots cheating scandal
Please another dumb offseason Patriots cheating scandal
Please another dumb offseason Patriots cheating scandal
Please another dumb offseason Patriots cheating scandal
Please another dumb offseason Patriots cheating scandal
Please another dumb offseason Patriots cheating scandal
What I wouldn’t give for another offseason when I can just make comics about completely stupid stuff that annoys Pats fans, nothing rules like deliberately poking the hilarious levels of insecurity trapped in that fanbase.
Spygate 2.0! So if you haven’t followed it closely because this one isn’t getting a ton of attention comparatively speaking, the Patriots are in the process of filming a documentary called “Do Your Job” (Ugh) as a series for their social media/website/etc. They sent a crew to follow a scout who’s job it was to report on Cincy, the next opponent. “why do you need a scout to report on the worst team in the league” jokes aside, whatever. Sounds typical fluff to me. Apparently a Bengals employee got suspicious that the crew was actually just filming the Bengals coaching on the sidelines for most of the game. When approached by security, the cameraman apparently offered to delete the footage, which, like…that’s a red flag.
My opinion on all this? I…I actually kinda buy the Patriots innocence for the moment. The guy filming the coaching for as long as he did is the one part that really bothers me. But when you film things for B-roll footage (if you don’t know what B-Roll is, it is basically filler footage to add into edits to fill space and make semi interesting visuals during less important moments) you need coverage. A lot of B-Roll filming is just pointing a camera at a thing and letting it record for a while, then chopping it up into little quick shots in the editing room. If they wanted coverage of Zac Taylor being a coach for the video that they could then edit all the interesting moments in later, but you need the footage in the first place and for the most part he’s not going to be interesting. The length of the time that he filmed Taylor is a bit suspiciously long, but you’d be surprised how much B-Roll gets filmed for anything of this nature.
Belichick’s statement basically amounted to “That’s a different department than me so I don’t know or care what they are up to”. This, I completely buy. Belichick doesn’t give a fuck about social media, fluff pieces, and generally seems to find the media and anything to do with it a nuisance. The fact that they even got him on the TOP 100 PLAYERS EVER TV series the NFL is doing shocks me, but he is a sucker for talking football history, so at least it makes some sense. Belichick generally seems like he would be happiest if he could coach games without fans or cameras so the sport can be pure. I doubt Belichick gives any sorts of fucks about what the Patriots media department (likely the people in charge of this) is up to for the website.
What I think happened is that the Pats media team that is in charge of this little video project sent the B-level filmer to the Bengals game to grab B-roll or whatever for the website vid and the guy fucked up by being lazy because the team probably doesn’t pay him well enough. They technically broke the rules by not informing the Bengals of the filming, which is the other element that is just suspicious enough to warrant a side eye. I think the Pats fucked up but I don’t think it was intentionally malicious. If anything, I believe it because of how easily the guy got noticed. The Pats seem like they’d be at least slightly better at subterfuge. Obviously, due to the Patriots history with cheating scandals and one confirmed instance of actual illegal videotaping, it’s pretty easy to just buy in that this is more cheating. But unless more info or the footage itself comes out, I’m willing to remain pretty skeptical for now.
But god, what I wouldn’t give for this to explode and turn into a thing anyway. Cheatriots. #ReleaseTheKraftHandjobTape
Ba dum Tsssssss.
“Do Your Job” is actually the name of Mrs. Belichicks sextape.
Or Kraft’s motto when he walks into Ole Crank Yankers here
The only part that is suspicious is that the guys who filmed the original spygate stuff were given the same excuse.
Excerpt from ESPNs OTL:
“The Patriots’ videographers were told to look like media members, to tape over their team logos or turn their sweatshirt inside out, to wear credentials that said Patriots TV or Kraft Productions. The videographers also were provided with excuses for what to tell NFL security if asked what they were doing: Tell them you’re filming the quarterbacks. Or the kickers. Or footage for a team show.”
But now it’s a legit show that’s been going on since at least 2014. As far as I know that show didn’t exist in 2007
*whispering and motioning over to the corner* That is what makes it more insidious. This time… this time the excuse could actually hold water.
Billy, Bobby, and Li’l Tommy Shady are psychotically obsessed with winning at all costs. Billy Bo Bob *knows* Tommy’s arm is sooooo dead. Father Time took him out behind the woodshed and paddled him but good last season. And losing to the Bengals is more than just a tiny bit possible given the state of Tommy and the offense. And losing to a 1-win team… CANNOT. HAPPEN. So Bobby stages one of the most implausible and easily-denied videotaping scandals in history. It’s, like, the 18-1 of video taping scandals. Easily.
Now I’m obviously at least 1% kidding here, but seriously. I don’t think this should be written off without digging deeply into what Bobby and Billy are hiding beneath the hoody. And I’m not talking about their girlfriends’ ginormously oversized implants. We need an investigator who is a good man… and thurra’!
I just remembered something else. Josh McDaniels got caught video taping another team in Denver, which is why he got fired. Lol.
Technically it was one of his assistants, and when he found out about it he was pissed and immediately reported it.
We fired him anyways because fuck Josh McDaniels
“please drop your drawers.”
“no no, the patriots filmed my JAW, man.”
“i understand that. please drop your drawers.”
X’D Hahaha, I think I know what I’ll be watching tonight!
But if the “Do Your Job” show has been around since 2014, doesn’t that just mean they’ve been cheating this way since that time?
What’s more likely?:
(A) people actually watching a 5-year documentary series on an advanced scout sitting in a booth looking through binoculars
(B) in the 2013 offseason, the Pats brain trust figures they can get camera crews into opponents’ stadiums under the guise of filming documentaries. And by actually releasing the ‘documentary’ footage, no one suspects what conveniently ends up on the cutting room floor?
BTW, the movie ‘Argo’ had the same basic premise and was released in October of 2012! Coincidence or inspiration?????
Actually isn’t that about the time they started winning Super Bowls again?
Sorry but if you let Patriots film crew into your booth or stadium you are terribly naive.
Why would team A allow team B, or film crew affiliated with team B’s owner or parent corporation, to film their team during the regular season?
Especially when they play them next week.
That said, the best argument for Patriots innocence is “why would they need to film the Bengals, they’re 1-13”.
I keep thinking of that scene from Seinfeld where George got caught sleeping with the office cleaning lady and going, “Is that wrong? Should I not have done that?”
Holy crap! I think George may have summed up the entirety of the Trump presidency a couple decades early.
“they sent a crew to follow a scout who is job it was to report on Cincy”
got a regular e e cummings here
Nothing says “I’m a spy” like showing up to a Bengals game decked out in Boston Bruins gear. That’s some Dan Aykroyd/Chevy Chase levels of trade craft there.
The Giants finally cut Janoris Jenkins. Long overdue. Next up, Shurmur and Gettleman both get the axe.
I don’t know of there is anything that I want both more and not at all at the same time than the release of the Kraft tape.
Patriots Fans: What do you think makes the Patriots so dominant?
National News: NFL team, The New England Patriots, once again caught filming opponents calls in what is becoming their dynasty’s defining trait.
Patriots Fans: Do you think it’s Brady’s diet?
Dusty Dionne
@TheJackalope
·
Dec 10
@Patriots
Fans: What do you think makes the Patriots so dominant?
News: @NFL
team, The New England Patriots, once again caught filming opponents calls in what is becoming their dynasty’s defining trait.
Patriots Fans: Do you think it’s @TomBrady
‘s diet?
I still want to see the Minshew vs Foles Dick measuring contest with Sexy Rexy.
C’mon Goodell, you know you want to.
Just do what the NCAA does way too much. Four words.
Two year postseason ban.
Or if you really want to send a message, two year postseason ban, four year draft ban, four year free agency ban or all contracts of current Patriots players voided with all players immediately eligible to play for any other team, 100% forfeit of any profits the team would earn in those four years, everything must operate at true cost and not a penny more. Remove the incentive to cheat by removing them from the only competition that matters, cripple them financially, and force them to rebuild pretty much from scratch.
The NBA made Donald Sterling sell the Clippers for racist comments.
Seems like respected cheating could merit something similar…
* ‘repeated’, not ‘respected’
Draft pick forfeiture plus post-season ban equal to the number of years of cheating involved.
Fans already suspect the NFL is rigged from referee issues, looking the other way about this would be sports malpractice.
The video doesn’t look great. Clearly following the substitutions and filming the sideline specifically. Anyone who thinks this is harmless doesn’t realize how much easier it is to game plan with that information. Additionally, it feels like the Do Your Job production is a front. Who actually watches Do Your Job? Why would it need to be a 6 years series when Breaking Bad barely lasted that long? Why is it branded under Kraft production instead of official team?
Patriots stopped winning when they got caught for Spygate. Do Your Job starts in 2013, and they win three more Super Bowls since. But I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.