The Offseason Hibernation Begins
During the month of April, after free agency has died down, that’s when the complaints start. The post-season high lasts for most of February. Free Agency makes March fun. April is dedicated to draft stuff, and unless you’re really into that sort of stuff (I am not) April can get pretty dry. It’s just article after article of “who should your team draft? Where should this player go? Here is a scouting report! Uh Oh, this prospect has tiny hands!” that sorta shit. This is when people start wanting football back. I get it. the draft can be exhausting and after a month of that sort of prospectus nonsense you just want the draft to actually happen, you want anything to happen, because it’s the offseason, and there is no football. Except Arena football, as whoever that obsessive commenter I have likes to point out, but come on, Arena Football. Nah.
I kind of feel bad for those people who endlessly complain about that era before the draft. “Come back football” they cry, only slightly ironically. Because even though I hate draft coverage, I’ll still take it over what we have for the next 3 months. In a month those people will be clamoring for mock drafts. Now we enter the offseason of our discontent. If you like other sports you get basketball and hockey playoffs for the next month, which is cool. If you like baseball at least you get to see that, even though football comes back right when baseball begins to actually matter. Maybe you like golf. Good for you. Is NASCAR season a thing now? I don’t even know or care. Point is, for us football fans, May, June, and July suck. It’s full of nothing. You’ll get entire weeks of content about who made the goddamn Madden cover because the talking heads gotta comment on something. I was grateful for deflategate last season because it was actual news, constantly developing over the course of the year. We had something to hold onto. I hope we get something like that again (or deflategate just continues because why wouldn’t it).
So brace yourselves and hope for the best, because we just got dropped off in the desert and we are miles from water.
In PODCAST NEWS I have a name now, and as one commentor requested, a link on the site! Look at the top right corner of the sidebar if you haven’t seen it already and you’ll see the link. The picture links to the latest podcasts. This week I got a fellow Giants fan draft expert onboard and talked draft.
Dave, You can survive this off season with NFL Dank Memes!
Check it!
https://www.imgur.com/ohMO7nx?r
I love the podcast title and the content itself too.
Being as NASCAR fan, the racing has been pretty damn exciting compared to years past. Fuckin’ Brian France (who is worse than Goodell) finally got off his ass and enforced the low downforce package. Not that that makes any sense to you.
Low Down force?!?! Your cars already had jack all to begin with. Then again I’m an F1 fan as well
What do you mean by “jack all”? We had way too much downforce last year so yeah
What I mean is that if your car can’t drive on the ceiling then you really can’t talk about having too much down force /s
I stopped watching NASCAR when it went to the chase for the cup and restrictor plates (the chase being the final straw).
Rip in piss Dave
In other news I missed the second podcast but now I know its new name. Darn.
There’s always the CFL!
Yeah Dave you forgot Canadian Football
You mean discount Arena Ball.
Thank god the Mets have gotten good recently, so I don’t have to wallow in my own filth watching R. W. McQuarters intercepting Tony Romo until August. Now I can watch the Mets beat up some shitty team while the Giants go 0-2 again this September. Hopefully the Mets go on another post season run so I can hold back on watching our loveable 6-10 team for maybe two months.
As a yankee fan…
…how did you manage being this bad for all those years? Like I literally can’t even right now.
As a mets fan…
…how does last place feel? Like I literally can’t even right now.
How are you managing being in last place right now?
My main source of sports entertainment in the offseason comes every 4 years: The Summer Olympics!
Gold medal counts! Bob Costas! Fencing! Gymnastics! Weird activities that people consider sports! I love it all!
There’s always deflategate……
The dead period has begun. I tend to go to a lot of minicamps to get my share of football so I don’t die. Help.
You know Dave, Arena Football does exist.
The first game for week 6 will easily be the best game (on paper) in this meaningless regular season where everyone (even tampa) goes to the playoffs. The 5-0 Orlando Predators hosts the 5-0 Arizona Rattlers on CBS Sports Network (actual TV, fourth-rate cable, bit still TV) at 7:30pm tonight. Despite being 10 point underdogs (yes, people bet on Arena games), I’ll take the home team Orlando in another instant classic like when ‘Zona eked out a win over J’ville.
Moving on to the Sharks, the 1-4 Cleveland Gladiators host the 2-3 J’ville Sharks at 7:30pm on ESPN3. Cleveland is now on their 5th qb this season, the mack (coverage) linebacker. Sharks should win, but it will be close because J’ville can’t blow out anyone, not even Tampa.
Speaking of my favorite tampons, the Storm are a road team on Monday noght, meaning the Monday night home team should get a rare win as 4-1 Philly hosts the Storm at 8pm on Univision Deportes (that’s some 4th cable right there) for Spanish/ESPN3 for English. The over/under is 120 points. Tampa can’t score 30. That means Philly needs 90+ points. Tampa’s defense isn’t that bad. Take the under in this game and take Soul by ♤♡◇♧cubed (48.5).
On to the last game of the week, the 0-4 Portland Steel have to play a home game in the opposing team’s home because the Trailblazers are still in the playoffs. Normally, that’s a bad thing, but this is Monday night (10 pm on ESPN3) so being the road team should give you an advantage, even if Darron Thomas is starting. 2-3 LA is the now-home team, but they’re not Arizona, Orlando, Philadelphia, or ARIZONA, so me saying Portland might get their first win of the season (even if it would be Portland’s first road win in 2 years) isn’t as insane as saying Tampa will score more than 30 points.
I just read the description. Yay, Dave noticed me
There’s the supplemental Draft in the beginning of July. But yeah, there’s pretty much nothing for us football fans
At least I have smash bros and arena football
Wii U or 3DS? I’m tempted to challenge you to a fight for Draw Play supremacy now.
Both. Kirby/shulk ftw
I’ll put my FC in tomorrow’s comic. Let us fight!
I know what I’m going to do in the off season. I’m going to ogle the Sexy Rexy picture I got for supporting Dave on Patreon.
Are you ever going to do a comic about Skip Bayless leaving in August, or do we just refer to the Colin Cowherd comic?
I’ll be honest, I straight up forgot this happened
Hey Dave, can you draw Bartolo Colon hitting a home run? I will legit pay you
Right now, the Stanley Cup playoffs are happening, as well as some basketball. Ultimate frisbee might be happening right now, that might be fun to watch.
Yes NFL football is the most important sport in the history of the universe but it is unhealthy to put all your fan eggs in one sport basket. That can lead to deep depression, uncontrollable anger, and a lost sense of reality. It also gives Roger Goodell more power over your mental health then he deserves. To combat these effects you must take at least a moderate interest in some other sport.
THUNDER UP! & Go Texas Rangers!
The Celtics are out and the Red Sox have been meh at best.
This sucks.
HELL YES OKC THUNDER
Finally another person who can join me in getting furious at Russell Westbrook for being a ballhog only to forgive him once he makes a layup that shouldn’t be physically possible!
A layup like that one last night against the Spurs? He was twisting backwards–poetry in motion.
https://youtu.be/c7d9BQMyE4o?t=5m40s I’m not a Westbrook hater. I love his passion for winning and understand that he wants to do everything possible to be the one that makes the needed plays for his team’s success. Thunder fans that have spoken negatively about his game are going to miss it more than they know when he’s gone.
As a Bay Area native, I’m in somewhat better shape, considering the Warriors are having what may end up being the best season in NBA history
Anyway to get your podcast up on podcast addict?