The NFL Kitty Cat League
Let’s talk cats!
THE DETROIT LIONS
The Lions might be good! After the underachievement of last season nobody really cared about the Lions much. After tying with the rebuilding Cardinals week 1, the Lions squeaked out a win against the Chargers, who I think many people assume to be at least a solid team. The Chargers have a tendency to under-perform in the early season and hurt their playoff potential down the road later on though so those who paid attention to this game probably wrote it off. Then they almost Lions’d the Eagles game away but stayed in it and won! I still don’t think anyone was giving them much credit yet. Ironically I think the game that got them the most positive attention was actually their only loss so far, when they took the mighty Chiefs down to the wire. The Lions might actually be good! They are stuck in a tough division which might make the playoffs a tight squeeze, but I don’t think anyone expected them to actually look like a competitor. Go lions!
THE CAROLINA PANTHERS
Odd year bullshit, man. The Panthers are some wacky shit. They look pretty bad in the first two weeks CMC notwithstanding, Cam appears to be broken, and everyone stops looking when they start Kyle Allen. It appears to be a lost season without Cam. BUT WAS IT? Kyle Allen has led the team to 3 straight wins and kept them in the conversation in a tight NFC South. What is going on? Is Kyle Allen legit or is this just classic odd year magic?
THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
I think if you told people before the season that the Jaguars would be 2-3 right now nobody would be that surprised. What I doubt anyone would expect is Gardner Minshew, first of his name. I’ve kept mum on Minshew Mania thus far because I have greater plans for him but it needs more time in the oven. The Jags are simultaneously a mess and surprising everyone. Does Jalen Ramsey want out? Is the team going to implode? Did Nick Foles really throw one touchdown only to get completely usurped upon injury to a guy who looks like a 70’s porn actor? Yes! I love it.
THE CINCINNATI BENGALS
fuck
Okay that’s not fair. Holy fuck
Real talk on cincy: Over under on how many direct or indirect threats to move the team between now and 2026 when their stadium lease is up? I’ll set the push line at 15.
Saw Kyle Allen’s one game cameo last year and he was pretty good, they’re definitely better with him than broken Cam, not too surprised to see things go well.
I’d like to see the Lions actually be good. It’s always nice when a team that isn’t one of the teams that’s always in the playoffs makes it
On the other end of the hope spectrum, RIP Jay Gruden.
Dont worry, the Arena clusterfuck will always welcome Jay Gruden back
Gardner Minshew is not first of his name. He’s Gardner Minshew _II_, which means Papa Mustache is out there somewhere too.
His father’s name is not Gardner Minshew, his name is Flint Minshew. His grandfather’s name isn’t Gardner, either.
Nobody knows where the “II” comes from, but he does appear, in fact, to be the first of his name.
His dad named him Gardner Minshew II because he thought it would be cool. It’s not a family thing, his dad is just a madman and I personally love it.
His grandpa wanted to name him Beowulf which would have been too cool to exist.
They shoulda listened to his grandpa… Beowulf Minshew…
You could do the same thing with birds. Ravens, Eagles, Cardinals, Seahawks, & Falcons.
Agreed.
Yes
I don’t know. Using the work “holy” anywhere near the Bengals seems blasphemous.
Very prescient of you with regard to Jay Gruden. It seemed like he was trying to get fired, so I guess he got what he wanted. Now to join up with his brother as the QB coach in a few weeks.
Problem with Kyle Allen is that he’s been sacked 8 times, and has fumbled the ball on 7 of those sacks, losing 5 of them.
the panthers D is keeping them together so far. Kyle Allen is the definition of a ok backup QB.
>get embarrassed by the raiders on our own turf
>shut down the chiefs in arrowhead the next week
I can’t figure this team out. And yeah yeah the chiefs were missing players so it doesn’t count or whatever excuse will be made. Colts did it without their two best players on defense (Leonard and Hooker) plus another starter (Geathers). 8/10 times the chiefs win that game probably but it’s still nice to know that 1 or 2 other times exist.
All I can say is that the Cardiac Colts are back for better and/or for worse.
…and now that I think of it, I find it odd that the most fitting nicknames for the Clots are cardiovascular issues…
One more thing the Lions have going for them is the best cat related nickname in sports. I mean… who’s gonna beat The Motor City Kitties?
Is The Mic Rula Tomsula going to be the Skins intern HC?
Better. It’s Callahan. So Gruden gets fired because their offense isn’t working and they promote the single biggest reason why the offense isn’t working to replace him.
Most importantly, the Panthers now wield the Sword of Omens: https://reddit.com/r/CatTeamBrotherhood/comments/de8yt5/the_carolina_panthers_now_wield_the_sword_of_omens/
I feel like there need to be a crack in the cliff underneath the lion to represent how everything could fall apart in the last few weeks and the Lions end up Lions-ing themselves out of a playoff spot.
You called it.
Kyle Allen has been solid but make no mistake, we’re winning because of McCaffrey.
The Bengal isn’t sinking because it’s lying on top of the corpse of Brownie the Elf…