The Draw Play

Every year it seems like there is a division that under-performs to a hilarious degree. Last year it was the NFC South. The year before that it was the NFC North. It happens. Every year I read the same articles with the same arguments: should we change the playoff system so that these bad teams don’t reach the playoffs or have home game advantages? Blah blah blah whatever. The system is fine.

For the first half of the season it was a neck and neck tie for worst division between the NFCE and the AFCS. The South was worse to start the year, and they are still pretty damn bad, but it’s clear the real clunker this season is the East. 3 teams tied for first at 5-7 with another team at 4-8 right on their heels. It’s ridiculous. It feels like each team has had a chance to set themselves up as the front runner and each one has tripped over it’s own face. Lets look at this mess team by team:

The Giants
The Giants would be 9-3 right now if the games ended 2 minutes earlier. It would be a 5-1 turnaround (they won the 49ers game in the final seconds, the only comeback they happened to be on the right side of). But for all the arguments about how good the Giants could be if some things went differently, the point is they didn’t, and this team isn’t a 9-3 team that has had some bad luck, it’s a 5-7 team that can’t get out of it’s own way. I’m lucky I’m a huge pessimist fan when it comes to the Giants because this season would be hell on me otherwise. Each week I have a certain sad resignation late in the game when it just becomes obvious another late game loss is inevitable. When Eli threw the 4th down INT against the Jets, I knew it was over. The Giants were still up by 10 with only 7 minutes to go, but I already knew it was over. I knew it was over against the Cowboys when they failed to manage the clock and gave Romo 1:45. I knew it was over against the Patriots when OBJ dropped the TD pass and they settled for the field goal. This team cannot finish a damn thing, and they don’t deserve to. They are technically tied for first and have just as much chance as the other 2 to win this, but I’ve given up. I don’t want this team in the playoffs. I don’t want to deal with “The Prophecy” jokes about beating the Pats. I want a change, I want them to tank. They are a stupid, undisciplined mess of injuries and scrub talent. It’s time to move on. Plus, they have to face the Panthers and Vikings in the final 4 weeks, they are screwed.

The Eagles
I kind of went over the Eagles already on the previous comic so I’ll keep it brief. The Eagles are a confusing mess. It’s impossible to get a read on this team. Conventional wisdom says they are bad, but you really just can’t tell with them. They are capable of amazing football for one quarter and utter garbage football the next.

The Redskins
The Skins feel the steadiest of the 4 teams. They are the most consistent. They are a specific team built to win a specific way, and if things don’t go that way, it gets ugly. They suck on the road, and they are good at home. I actually like Kirk Cousins as a QB. I think he’s grown a lot in his time as a consistent starter, and all the crap he gets for his early mistakes is unfair. This is his first real consistent chance to keep the job without much competition, and he seems to be learning. Going into this season the drama was high and you’d be forgiven if you assumed the Skins would be a complete tire fire. I sure thought they would be. They’ve proven to be a little bit more competent than we ever gave them credit for, and they deserve some praise for that.That said, this past Monday was the Redskins chance to prove they deserved to win the division…and they showed they are just as dumb as the rest.

The Cowboys
The Cowboys still have a very real chance to win the division after going on a 7 game losing streak. The great lost season for the Cowboys may still end up with a playoff berth. One player shouldn’t result in such a disaster though. They still were supposed to have the “best o-line in football, who could make a 2000 yard rusher out of anyone” and an improved, stellar pass rush with Greg Hardy and Randy Gregory. Instead the whole team is just lost without Romo. If any Cowboys fan still thinks Romo isn’t worth it after this season, I…I can’t even fathom that level of stupidity. Romo is that team like Peyton Manning was to the Colts in his later years. Without Romo in there to work his magic, the incredible sham that is Jason Garrett is exposed to the air. If I were a Cowboys fan this season, I would actually not want them to reach the playoffs. I’d want them to lose out, frankly. Think about it. The Cowboys were considered contenders this season (and not just by homers in the Texas media circlejerk). They weren’t screwed over by sudden regression, this is basically the same team as last season, just without it’s best player and it’s second best player (for fewer games). This is an ideal way to tank, really. Forfeit this season, get a high draft pick (and they’ve drafted very well as of late) and then go into next year with a healthy Romo, healthy Dez, healthy o-line…it’s a perfect situation. Don’t try to make something out of nothing this year, this year is lost. Tank it, and go into next year as a goddamn steamroller.

Someone has to win this dumpster and it’s going to be hilarious when they beat the Vikings or Packers in the first round

In other news, here are my picks for this week and the cartoons from last week!