The Lion QB
Mar25
on March 25, 2014
at 12:01 am
Mark Sanchez may not have been the best QB. He may have never been even a good one, really, despite the two AFCCG appearances. But the one thing I will give Mark Sanchez’s tenure with the Jets is that it was never, ever boring. From the Buttfumble, to the hot dog, to the crazy wins and devastating performances, Mark Sanchez was never boring. Even with some of the disasters he faced, he took it with grace and said the right things. Then ran into another man’s butt. Sanchez was one of a kind. He will likely never see the field again as a starter, and the world will be lesser for it.
Mark Sanchez will win a Superbowl. Mark – hehe – my words. The Eagles will make the Superbowl in a year or two under Shady McCoy and Nick Foles both playing like MVPs. But then in the NFC Championship, Foles goes down. In comes Mark Sanchez, and he becomes the all-time hero in Philadelphia as he finally lives up to his billing, coming off the bench to play the one game he plays perfect. And meanwhile, somewhere in the halls of Canton, Dan Marino will weep, knowing yet again a lesser quarterback will never have to hear the “You never won a ring” taunt that is his bane.
Except they won’t. Because Philadelphia.
The same way that two identical audio waves cancel each other out, the impossibility of a post-Namath Jets QB winning a Superbowl, and the impossibility of Philly winning a Superbowl, will cancel out. They’d get their ass kicked if Foles was healthy.
I think the Sanchez/Tebow experiment proved that suck + suck = more suck.
Yes, I’m biased. But I’m also honest about being biased. #BigBlue #Phillysucks
I’ve come from the future! I’m here to crush your dreams! Mark doesn’t win a Superbowl or come anywhere close to it! But Philadelphia – sadly – does! And as you guess, it happens when their starter goes down! But Foles plays the part of Mark, and a crooked-backed old man named Wentz plays the part of Foles! And why am I using so many exclamation points!? Because the future is DRAMATIC!
So good.
so does this make Geno Smith, Michael Vick, and…i dunno, someone else the hyenas?
The 3 hyenas are Eric Decker, Michael Vick, and OT Breno Giacomini… aka the three guys the Jets actually picked up in FA this offseason.
Buttfumble was great. I’m not just saying that because it led to 30something Patriots points in like a minute, even my 49ers fan father loved it! We were both howling with laughter so much that we missed half the game. He was a brilliant QB, because he was so comical. I really am gonna miss him as a starter.
Even Jets fans laughed at that game. Everyone did. It was absurd, hilarious, and beautiful.
True, true. I literally laughed until I cried, even though I’m a Jets fan.
Where’s rex’s tattoo of his wife?
The Jets were always one of the few franchises that could quickly and easily distract the media from bashing on Cleveland. Hopefully they can keep their dumpster fire burning bright without Captain Buttfumble at the helm.
When he wiped his booger on Brunell’s jacket, I knew we had something that we would provide comic relief for years to come.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHtttx6P7kg
Caaaaaaan you feeeeeeeeeeeeeel the butt tonight…
Well, Sanchez was mediocre at best. I still think Vick, even though he’s past his prime, is a MAJOR improvement over Sanchez/Smith/Garrard/Simms/Tebow/McIlroy.
But I will miss all the attention he brought to the team.
CURSE YOU PHILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My favorite gif of the buttfumble, synchronized from 4 angles at once:
http://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/sanchez-fumble-11-22-12.gif
Thanks for searing that image of Rex’s hairy butt into my retinas.
Stumbled onto your comic and just now have been reading the older comics. This one is incredible.
And then he replaced Peyton fucking Manning