The League Of Extraordinary Disappointments
ONE MORE WARRIORS JOKE I PROMISE I’M DONE NOW (Probably not). Obviously for Golden State fans this season ended in one of the biggest disappointments in history. It was the kind of disappointment they weren’t used to, the type of sports disappointment I like to call the fan cockblock. You have your regular disappointments, like the Browns, or the Lions, perpetual trashbins who haven’t been good for a long time and all the fans want is a team that could possibly compete or just reach the playoffs. The kind of team that is so flat every year that you wonder why you even care. That was the Warriors for most of their existence. This kind of disappointment wears you down, turns you into a bitter husk that hates fans of successful teams to the point where if a fan of a good or recently successful team complains you get all “CHECK YOUR FAN PRIVLEDGE” on them because your team can’t even reach that level.
The Cockblock is a very different type of letdown. It’s not so much a long, drawn out sink into sadness but a giant plummet from the sky into the ground very suddenly. It happens when a team gets good, real good, and is a genuine competitor for the championship. Almost to the point where it seems inevitable. The fanbase gets incredibly cocky. Your team feels invincible and the concept of losing doesn’t really cross your mind. The playoffs are a mere formality. Then BOOM. It’s all over, and it hits you so fast you don’t really know what to feel. It may not be as depressing as regular disappointment, but it actually sticks with you longer because it’s a very sharp moment in time. Recent cockblocks: Seattle’s INT in SB49. The 2007 Pats. The Panthers and Warriors this year. Each fan of each cockblock can pinpoint the exact moment their hopes took the hit and they realized it wasn’t going to happen, and their lives will forever wonder what could have been. It’s hard to say which disappointment is worse. One does long term damage like CTE, but the other does incredible immediate damage and leaves a big scar, like shooting yourself in the leg.
The Warriors epic collapse is one of the biggest cockblocks I have ever witnessed. I think it might be the biggest choke I’ve ever witnessed. The Warriors were the best regular season team in NBA history with the first unanimous MVP in history, and they were up 3-1 in the NBA finals with at minimum 2 games left to play at home. No team had ever come back from a 3-1 deficit in the finals. And they lost. The cock got blocked. In this case, by Lebron, with two minutes left. Now legions of newfound Warrior fans have a giant stab wound in their hearts. They won it all last year, so the pain might be mitigated somewhat, but there is a certain special pain here because of how historic the team’s season was. The team didn’t do it. No matter how much the fan tells themselves “Well we won it last year” or “we’ll get it next year” it won’t make the pain stop. Warrior fans, at least the true Warriors fans, will feel this one forever. Booze helps.
The Warriors now join the group of ultimate cockblocked teams. Each of the 4 major sports now has the team with the most regular season wins in league history lose before the end. Maybe it’s a curse. Don’t be the best team in history. Be the 3rd or 4th best, that usually works out.
Holy crap. Mariners mentioned. That must be a first. My irrelevant team got noticed!
Mariners’ and Seahawks’ most crushing failures got mentioned. All this comic needs now is Clay Bennett dancing on the grave of Seattle basketball and the unholy trinity will be complete.
I think if Clay ever set foot in Seattle, I think that’d be a first for violent hipsters.
Just found this particular comic and I tell you what, not only did it feature my local baseball team, but it fell on my birthday as well!
The Crying Jordan has come to TheDrawPlay
Will it ever leave?
Mariners! We’re more likely to lose at home than on the road. Also, it’s hard to tell whether we’re actually good this year. And we’re usually pretty bad.
“Obviously for Golden State fans”
What, all six of them? That’s counting before and after they started being a good team.
The crying jordan part was priceless
What about 2013 Peyton Manning.
Drinking game for everytime Dave says cock in the description
Based on your description of this year’s warriors, they seem like the 2013 Broncos to me. I don’t really get to watch Pats games so I’m not sure if they were really as dominant in their year, but the Broncos were insanely good in 2013, and of course their implosion in the SB was the most epic I’ve seen. I’m not a Broncos fan, but that game left a bad taste in my mouth for a looong time.
It’s not exactly the same. In football yeah there are good and bad teams, but anything can happen any given Sunday (see: Eagles obliterating the Pats this last year.) Basketball takes place over a much longer season/ playoffs schedule, so the Warriors’ feat, and subsequent meltdown, was much more impressive to me.
This is more like the 07 Pats than that broncos team.
The 2013 Broncos didn’t feel as “invincible” as the Warriors did, they had weaknessess people noticed, they just had a crazy good offense. This season definitely felt closer to the Patriots 2007 where everyone was just in awe of the team because it didn’t seem like you could beat them with any regularity. I thought the closest anyone would come was OKC, but they even came back on OKC.
The 07 Pats were 18-0 going into the Super Bowl and blew it. I was only 7 at the time and still remember when the clock ran out on us. I couldn’t believe it. I was crying the whole next day at school. It still hurts to think about it.
I’m a Broncos fan and SB 48 hurt a lot. Mostly because we embarrassed ourselves on the biggest stage. We should’ve had a stab at winning that game (even though Seattle was clearly the better team), but we looked like a bunch of third stringers. I can make my peace with the outcome, however, because it was pretty apparent earlier in the season that we were a soft team. We dominated when everything went how we planned, but all it was going to take was one team to throw us off our rhythm offensively and we’d be lost, which is exactly what happened.
My lowest point as a fan (I’m only 27) was the year before, when Joe Flacco hit the 70 yard TD to beat us. That game was in the bag. We had won 11 games in a row and had the #1 seed. We had a top 5 offense and defense. I was feeling so pumped for a Super Bowl run. Then Flacco and Jacoby Jones tore my heart from my chest. That’s the loss that stays with me.
Yeah the 2012 Broncos felt way more disappointing than 2013 for me. That team was so good, it felt like it was going to dominate the playoffs. The team was hot, playing their best, great offense, great defense. It felt like making the Super Bowl was a sure thing. And then that Hail Mary just destroyed it out of nowhere.
If I want to know about 07 I’ll talk to my Fiancee… Please don’t make me relive that.
I think you’re trying to get rid of too much of your bias, man.
The 2007 Pats were Godlike. The Giants were the last team they beat before the playoffs began. Literally everyone in the entire football nation thought- … No, KNEW they were going to win. They were going to become perfect. Only one other team had a perfect season, the Dolphins; their rivals were going to lose the one thing they could hold against everyone in the league. Pats fans at that time were euphoric.
The the play happened. Eli manning drops back on 4th down. If the play fails, the Pats win. Eli starts to scramble… And that’s when the most ridiculously amazing sequence of events to ever happen on a football field occurred. Eli gets rapped up, tossed around, and dragged for 3 yards… But he doesn’t go down. He somehow escapes for a split second. Knowing he’s not gonna get another chance, he heaved the ball to the middle of the field. He didn’t look for a receiver. He threw a prayer up and pleaded to God for a miracle.
No one could believe it was a catch. The entire time, the ball was on the helmet. If that ball made ANY contact on the ground, it would have been incomplete. But it didn’t. It stayed MILLIMETERS above the green surface.
So when you say that the Golden State Warriors experienced the biggest cock block of all time, I will have to disagree and point toward the Pats, the team’s fanbase that your Giants ruined forever. Two years from now you’ll be able to go to the Bay Area and say the words “All in 216” and the GSW fans will get angry, but they’ll be able to say “Yeah but that team had Lebron James, the 1st/2nd/3rd best player of all time.”
But there will NEVER be a time where a Pats fan will be able to stomach hearing the words “David Tyree” or “helmet catch”.
I think the Warriors choking is worse than the Pats because football is played in a single elimination style. The Pats almost lost to the Giants in week 17 because the Giants were a team that matched up well. There is a lot of variance in a single game that can affect an outcome.
The Warriors had a best of 7 series to eliminate the Cavs. It didn’t come down to one game where single plays can make the difference. They had 3 games to just win a single game and they failed. To me, that’s worse. Not that much worse, but still a bit worse.
That year’s SB MVP wasn’t Eli Manning. It was David Tyre’s helmet.
In fact, that play should probably have been taken back, since that helmet was the 12th man in the field.
You could probably have a series of goofy comics following the life of David Tyree’s helmet.
From SB MVP to going back to being no one. A trip that would start with it as the town hero, ending with it as a crack addict.
In the middle of the story, he would try to make a comeback by going to celebrity rehab. At another time the helmet would date the skankiest of the Kardasians (whomever that may be).
You could have a series of crossovers with Jonny Football in a jackas kind of road movie. Or a series of SNAFUS with Tebow trying to bring David Tyree’s helmet back to the good side of the force.
That helmet could be the star and your muse, whenever there are no football news.
Make it so.
1964 Yankees losing the World Series to the Cardinals. I’ve never gotten over it.
A+ alt text
Why is the Red Wings player Fedorov instead of Yzerman, who was the captain and face of the franchise throughout the 1990s and early 2000s?
You could probably include the 97/98 Packers on this list, too.
I know you don’t follow soccer at all, but after Messi Cundiffed that penalty kick, I think he deserves a pass into the trailer.
Three straight years in which he’s lost in a major tournament’s championship. That’s gotta be tough.
And the last one was at MetLife Stadium, no less.
i love how curry always has his mouthguard hanging out
You know the 2016 Caps probably deserve to be here too.
Being a bitter fan myself with only one recently championship winning team (giants) I have a deep hated for bandwagon fans, so this comic is especially great for me.
I… I like all these teams. Red Wings are my home team and I love them, I really hate the Cavaliers so I was rooting for the Warriors, I feel bad for the Mariners enough to like them, and I respect the hell out of the Pats no matter what they do to the teams I actively root for.
1997 Indians and 2003 Yankees. Both losing to a team that only ever made the playoffs via wildcard – but also never lost a series.