The Draw Play

To any Pats fan who is mad that I made another deflategate comic, tell your dumber fellow fans to stop being so dumb during a slow time of the year. This comic was basically an exact representation of my thought process Friday. I didn’t want do to another Pats comic, but goddamn how can you not mock this?

Deflategate was last year’s little ball of fun and somehow it’s still a gift that keeps on giving. 7 Patriots fans who I assume must be completely insufferable in real life filed a lawsuit that, besides feeling very hopeless, is also hilarious. When I first saw the story I rolled my eyes. “Of course a bunch of dummies would sue because we must defend the Pats honor” I said to myself, thinking about a few years ago when a butthurt Steeler fan sued the NFL because the Steelers missed the playoffs. But besides the eye roll part of hopelessly suing the NFL, I don’t mind the spirit of it. The Patriots really did more or less lose a pick for what turned into a (probably) false accusation, they probably should get that pick back. It won’t happen, but in spirit it would probably be the most fair result. I think the lawsuit is never going to work but it’s nice to see some people standing up for what pretty much appears to be corruption and incompetence.

Then they went and ruined that goodwill by citing emotional distress caused by the scandal. Holy hell, that’s amazing. Just…take a moment to appreciate that. Part of the reason this small cluster of Patriot fans is suing is because they were emotionally distressed by deflategate. Hahahahahahaha oh my god I hate people who take sports this seriously. Did Tom Brady possibly not playing 4 games really cause you to lose sleep to a point where it adversely affected your life? It’s sports. Investing some emotion into a team is part of the fun, but keep some perspective. A sports scandal having nothing to do with you except in the most fringe way having enough of an emotional impact to cause you notable stress and sleep deprivation means one thing: you have to re-evaluate your priorities.

I hope this group of dorks get nothing but laughed at for this nonsense. While part of me thinks it would be hilarious for them to win and screw over Goodell some more, there isn’t any chance it’ll work and I don’t want this kind of stupid obsession validated. They would do more damage by just boycotting the game at this point.

Also, yeah, you’re giving all the reasonable Pats fans even more of a bad name by representing the worst of the smug entitled attitude the rest of us hate you for. For any fan who claims this is only news because it’s the Pats, you might want to consider that at this point it’s a feedback loop. I don’t see many other fanbases suing like this (Disclaimer: the Steelers did a couple years ago, but people hate the Steelers almost as much). The constant news about the Pats feeds the fanbase with a sense of inflated importance, and leads to the dumb ones doing stuff like this, keeping the media attention on them, and contributing to the feedback loop.

I hope we get some more interesting news next week because honestly the draft coverage has felt pretty boring so far. We don’t have any crazy characters to talk about.