The Eagles Trade Up
Stupid Eagles gotta come in on my hours and break some big news and force a quicky new comic god I hate them so much. (Edit: and the Panthers, goddamnit)
Okay, lets start with what I think is the funniest part of this whole trade. Last year all we heard was “Eagles trying to trade up with the Titans for Marcus Mariota”. It didn’t happen. The Titans didn’t trade down, and the Eagles didn’t get to move up and take a QB. This draft? With all new coaches on both teams? The Titans traded down, and the Eagles managed to trade up to the #2 spot to grab a QB. The only thing that could have made this funnier is if they traded with each other. But now the two teams involved in the Foles/Bradford trade have traded up to get QBs and my god, this draft finally got exciting!
This is hilariously risky for the Eagles. They spent all kinds of silly money re-signing Bradford and then claiming Chase Daniel, and now they just mortgaged the future on the leprechaun from North Dakota State. Just…damn. It’s not like they are trading Bradford after spending that money to keep him (And no other team would take on that contract) so I guess the plan is to draft Wentz and have him sit for a season or two? In which case the team is in exactly the same position as they were before the trade, but now they have significantly fewer picks to build up around the QB in the meantime. Just…oof. If Wentz doesn’t pan out this was incredibly stupid. Obviously I hope Wentz sucks now.
The Browns got a slew of picks for the trade. They move down to #8, which is still a great spot, and they get a first rounder next year, along with some more picks in later rounds. This was a questionable move for them, too. Normally gathering a slew of picks is a smart decision but the Browns need a QB and they had a chance to grab one of the two good prospects. Instead now they are stuck with RG3 and McCown going into this year. On top of that, this is the Browns. They traded down two years ago with the Bills and drafted Justin Gilbert and Johnny Trainwreck in that first round. I think the next year’s Bills pick became Cameron Erving? Or Danny Shelton. So they haven’t made the best use of their picks so far. It’s hard to look at the Browns objectively anymore because it’s just easier to assume they’ll screw it up until they consistently prove otherwise.
I always felt like Hue Jackson was an underrated coach who didn’t get a fair shake in Oakland. I’m already liking what he’s doing in Cleveland. I like Goff, but all I think he’ll be is Joe Flacco, and that’s a best-case scenario. There’s no QB in this class worth the #2 pick, but next year’s QBs look to be stronger than this year, and in all likelihood at least one of Cleveland’s two first-rounders next year, if not high enough to grab a good QB, will be high enough to trade up for one. Now we wait to see whether Hue can break the Cleveland Curse and actually use those picks well.
Meanwhile, Philadelphia I have no words for. It’s going to be fun to watch, if nothing else. I imagine this year’s boos will drown out the McNabb booing.
In fairness, this isn’t the QB class to really bet your future on. The Browns need a QB, but they need to have a team in place to support a genuine QB when the chance comes. Next year’s class is better for that, and now the Browns can either trade up for it without actually losing anything, *OR* they can draft it themselves if they suck. But they’ll have the means to get their QB next year either way.
And hey– when the Eagles tank (and you know they will)– it’s entirely possible the Browns end up with two top-five picks.
I agree. If history has taught us anything, the browns will be in the top few picks next year. They have the benefit of knowing that no one expects them to turn that train around in one season. If they build up talent, they could be what we all think of the Rams right now. Then they just pluck a guy out of the draft onto a good team and they’re set.
Of course they’re the browns and so Jackson will probably be fired after 2 seasons like everyone else.
Even though they disappointed by never closing the deal, the Eagles had quite a run with the Walrus. They went 14 seasons with the same coach on the sidelines. Now they look like they’re going to be a perpetual 3-year cycle turnstile at head coach like the Browns.
The fucking Panthers are so stupid… Now they don’t have a shut-down corner
Also, I love the Donald “Trump” Eagle
Looks like the Eagles decided to troll Chip Kelly one last time.
Kap or Gabbert?
Yes, the Donald Eagle is best….
And the Julio Jones trade they managed to mess up. 0 players on the team from those picks maybe 1 in the league
By they I mean the Browns
Why are the Eagles so stupid right now? You lost draft picks over someone you don’t need, and could probably be available at your original spot. If not, I’m sure the Browns or 49ers would start them almost immediately. If you wanna bench somebody as the future, put guys like Paxton or Dak Prescott or Hackenburg on your board. Keep the picks. Build a team around Bradford and Daniel (you know they’re both gonna have starts next year.)
This reminds me of how I’m playing Madden 15 right now in a connected franchise mode. I did a fantasy draft where I only pick white players. Which means there’s a lot of holes on our depth chart, especially CB. I have to use safeties. And since I suck at fantasy drafting, I couldn’t get guys like Weddle or Harrisson Smith. My best guys are on the offensive line and front 7.
Now, since EA Sports’ brand of Madden is realistic as fuck, there is obviously three white cornerbacks that are prospects in this year’s draft. AND THEY LOOK FUCKING DELICIOUS, especially since one of them is projected to go number one overall.
I’m not going to tank, because we got potential. But you know I’m trading up if that one corner stays the best in his draft class. And I’m really just doing it with a few picks. The Browns and Titans got more than they wanted
Kind of describes the Eagles situation in this year’s draft and last year. They want that hot top 5 draft pick, but they didn’t suck enough to ‘earn’ the spot. Now they have to sell arms and legs for it, EXCEPT A QB IS NOT THEIR HIGHEST PRIORITY or it shouldn’t be.
Why are you building a white football team?
Because chip kelly
I gotta disagree with the Browns thing you said. People forget that Josh McCown was actually playing decently before he got hurt. And RG3 has a decent shot at a comeback. So both are decent starting options while you try to build. Their team is so broken, trying to draft a rookie and throw him in without receivers, a run game, or a defense would only lead to disaster. Then eventually everyone declaring the rookie a bust when he just never had a chance to succeed. They’ve failed so many times at trying to get a QB then build around him. Maybe they’re learning from their mistakes, and are going to build a solid team, and then get their franchise QB after.
“RG3 has a decent shot at a comeback”… seems unlikely. Unless, in the time since he last started, he learned how to…
1. Read NFL defenses
2. Look past his first target
3. Throw accurately, consistently, from the pocket
4. Take hits better to protect his tiny, frail body
Seems much more likely this is a gamble by the Browns to either tank and have a good shot at a QB next year, or in the off chance RG3 DID learn to be competent, they’re set & look like geniuses
Can’t wait for Saturday!
Do you realize there’s a chance the Rams take Wentz? There’s no guarantee we get the chance to draft Wentz.
But yeah this move is beyond retarded.
As a comedian I’m sure it’s hard for you to take the Browns seriously, but I think they’re actually making pretty smart & un-Brownsy moves. And while they had picks & blew it in years past… now they’ve got new management, and seem actually committed to a slow methodical rebuild.
Like the other poster said, they looked at this year’s class and decided it’s not worth a #2 overall pick. Seems like a very smart move to make, if you have the patience to wait another year. McCown is actually passable, and if he does get injured or regresses they get to start RG3– best situation of all:
There’s a slim chance RG3 has actually drastically improved, in which case it turns out the Browns DO have a QB and now all these extra picks to build around him
Much more likely, RG3 continues to be awful when he can’t outrun everyone, and tanks the Browns to another high set of picks next year.
If the management is ok with a multi year rebuilding process, RG3 is the perfect QB to drive it.
“smart and un-Brownsy moves”? Stockpiling draft picks and having nothing to show for it is what the Browns have been doing these past few years. 2011, they traded down with the Falcons, who drafted Julio Jones. The Browns turned that extra first rounder into Brandon Weeden. For an added bonus, their own first rounder plus some other picks were spent trading up for Trent Richardson. In 2013, they somehow managed to recoup some value by sending Richardson to Indy for a first round pick. That extra first rounder became Johnny Manziel. That same draft, they traded with the Bills, who picked Sammy Watkins. The Browns turned that extra first rounder into Cameron Erving, whom they were forced into drafting because they knew their Pro-Bowl center was going to bail this offseason. So excuse us if we are a little skeptical of this being anything other than the same old Browns.
Why do you hate the Panthers?
I like these single panel comics
Well well well. Picks 1 and 2 will presumably be quarterbacks. Chargers had no interest in a QB, so now look like they’re home free to get WHATEVER PLAYER THEY WANT. Who’s the best overall player on the board? Whoever he is, he plays for the SAN DIEGO… SUPER CHARGERS. For one season, at least, until they move to Los Angeles. Sigh.
(Or, we can trade down to #10 or so to somehow get a later 1st-rounder or another 2nd, neither of whom will be particularly overwhelming players. That would be the Telesco thing to do.)
My teacher said the Eagles will be good because they fired Chip Kelly LOL
Hahaha nice nod to South Park with the “we’re sorry” eagle dick. This eagles move was dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. I hope my Skins and the rest of the division bury them in 2016.
LOL this aged well! First and 4th for Bradford, an MVP contender, and a SB
LOL you my friend are one big moron