The Curse Of The Bird
Out of all the many brilliant videos Jon Bois has done, I honestly think my favorite is his series on the Atlanta Falcons. A theme throughout the video that has stuck in my head is the concept of the Falcon itself as a trickster comedy god. The concept of the Falcons as an entity that cannot be properly understood fits them in a way many cursed franchises seem to endure an almost supernatural fate. It does not matter who is in charge, who is coaching, who is playing; the Falcons can not escape the Falcons. Buffoonery is inherent to the Falcons.
In just two weeks of action, Michael Penix has already experienced multiple Atlanta Falcons “canon events“. The Falcons spent most of the Commanders game in charge, but unable to put the Commanders away. The Commies would eventually claim the lead, but give the Falcons a chance. Late in the game, deep in the redzone on the 5 yard line on first and goal, the Falcons call a stupid wildcat play that sails the snap over the runningback. The play avoids total disaster but ends up losing the team 22 yards. Penix goes back out there and stares at the face of the diety that haunts the logo on his helmet and raises his fist to the air. The Falcons will not Falcon this day. The Falcons are born anew. He threads a perfect dime to Kyle Pitts on 4th and goal to tie the game with 1:19 left. Fuck your curse. Fuck your buffoonery. Fuck ’em all.
The Commanders go immediately 3-and-out. Not only has Penix tied the game, he now has about a minute left to win it in regulation. The Falcons waste many precious seconds by not taking a timeout when they should have, but a pass interference call places the ball in long field goal range with 2 seconds to play. The Falcons can win it. The Falcons Spiteful Diety looks back down upon the team and smiles. Penix made the rookie mistake of thinking he could defeat the power of a god. The Falcons god does not work in mysterious ways. He deals in cruel fates. The Falcons are without Younghoe Koo and have to trot out Riley Patterson. Patterson kicks a beautifully aimed ball straight through the middle…of a 45 yard field goal. Unfortunately he was actually 56 yards away. Overtime. The Falcons never touched the ball again. The Commanders took most of the overtime period to march down the field and score a touchdown to win.
Welcome to the Atlanta Falcons experience, Michael Penix Jr. Strap the fuck in.
First comment on this site of 2025 🙂
I am going to hear about 28-3 for the rest of my life, aren’t I? This game is just a blip on the radar of sorrow.
My son got a Falcons sweatshirt for Christmas.
We wrote From: Dan Quinn on the tag.
He hates Dan Quinn. Is only joy is showing his brother, who just decided to start rooting for the Commanders this year, that Dan Quinn will fail him too.
Quinn gave up a 90 yard. 4th quarter drive to Spencer Rattler this year.
Don’t let this season fool you.
I see your Jon Bois Falcons mini-series and raise you UrinatingTree’s Falcons Legacy of Failure
https://youtu.be/i8EuOZ24Hlc?si=Xv_foD24-BiRblro
I’m gonna be honest: The Falcons series didn’t help me with Jon Bois. The Michael Vick video left a sour taste im my mouth.
This. All of this.
Being a Falcon fan is a special type of fandom. I live and die by my Falcons fandom, but I don’t like it. I actively fight against ever letting any hope in. Despite being an optimist in my everyday life, I am deeply pessimistic about anything remotely Falcon. Anything cool or neat that looks like it may happen will have a Marta bus pull in front of it at the last second. It is the life we fans have been given, and I accept it.
I was born into the fandom with memories of doing the dirty bird in the 90’s. I really started paying attention to them when Vick was the QB and I was entering my teenage years. My first dog and son are named Matty and Ryan respectively. I believe this franchise also put’s stains on player’s careers, Grady Jarrett is among the best defensive lineman of this generation and gets little recognition for it and Tommy Nobis should be in the Hall of fame full stop. I love this franchise, but it is hell on me. 5/5 stars will do it again next year.