The Cowboys Vs The Playoffs
First up: Bill Belichick leaving will get his own week, probably after the season ends. Something of that magnitude deserves comics. Black Monday is always a topic I tend to backburner because it happens right as the playoffs start and there is simply too much to talk about, and the firings don’t always happen at convenient times. Plus, by the offseason, we’ll know where he ends up and how most of the hires end up.
So let’s talk about a coach who isn’t getting fired. Mike McCarthy!
The Cowboys didn’t save the embarrassment for the final play this time. They went whole hog and made the embarrassment the entire final game. Hell, they didn’t even go whole hog. They went multiple hogs. We’re talking multiple-digit hogs. For everyone who wasn’t a Cowboys or NFC North fan, this was the funniest possible outcome. So for the 3rd season in a row the Cowboys won 12 games, waltzed into the playoffs looking like they’d finally break the curse of expectations that has sat on their shoulders since the mid 90’s, and committed seppuku. Both previous losses were against the San Francisco 49ers, who have generally been one of the top teams of the conference for the past several years. The games had been competitive but the Cowboys would come up short at the end. First with an ill-advised quarterback draw that ran out the clock. Then, in a much more desperate and unlikely situation, they put Zeke at center to get wrecked. This year they couldn’t even manage to reach the 49ers. The 7 seed Packers, an inconsistent squad still finding their footing, took them behind the shed and blasted them with an AK-47 for 60 minutes.
Looking back on the season with hindsight the Cowboys were frauds. They played 4 playoff teams: The Eagles, the Dolphins, the Lions, and the Rams. The Eagles would also turn out to be frauds, and they even lost to them the first time. The Lions win was controversial as the Lions had the final conversion stolen from them due to bad officiating. The Rams win was during the Rams earlier phase, when they were 3-4 and still finding their footing. The Dolphins, another fraud, beat them. All the wins came in Dallas. The rest of the season was spent beating the piss out of clearly inferior squads (and also losing to the Cardinals lol) and losing to better teams like Buffalo and San Francisco. Honestly they were the NFC equivalent to Miami: good at beating up bad opponents, but couldn’t handle any team that could punch back.
But this is still wild that in 3 straight years of winning 12 games and looking like a genuine competitor in most instances, they’ve fallen apart immediately. They have 1 playoff win to show for it. They sent Tom Brady’s old and injured Bucs team into retirement last season (which isn’t a bad legacy to have, all things considered) but that Bucs team was barely limping into the playoffs as it was. The Cowboys have spent so long being crushed by the weight of their own expectations. What else can it be at this point but that? The Cowboys have not been a dumpster fire of an organization for most of the time since the late 90’s like, say, Washington. They’ve had two good to great franchise quarterbacks. They’ve generally had some incredible talent filling out the rosters. Coaches have generally been given adequate time. Jerry has a reputation as a quick trigger but he shouldn’t. Parcells, Wade, Garrett, and McCarthy have all gotten 4 or more seasons. Garrett especially was received with patience and he arguably achieved less than McCarthy already has. Remember that in 2011-2013 the Cowboys entered the final week of the season at 8-7 with a chance to win the division and all 3 years lost to the other 3 NFCE teams, respectfully. Giants got them in 2011 (and went on to win it all). The RG3 Skins got them in 2012, and the Eagles got them in 2013. Funniest streak in sports, imo. Never forget that.
After that meltdown many people immediately wrote McCarthy off as a dead man, especially with Belichick available. Didn’t happen. I see the argument and think most people were jumping the gun. Nick Sirianni of the Eagles also appears to be staying for now as of writing. A lot of people calling for their heads seem to forget that despite how things ended coaches who take their teams to the playoffs consistently do not tend to get fired. Getting to the playoffs is an achievement. How many coaches can you name that got fired after reaching the playoffs? Marty Schottenheimer on the Chargers is the obvious one, Jon Fox “mutually parted ways” from the Broncos after losing in the divisional, but anyone else? I can’t think of any. This is extremely rare. The Cowboys have been good under McCarthy. Sometimes you just need that one year when things go right. I expect him and Sirianni are severely on the hot seat starting next season though.
Getting rid of John Fox was one of John Elway’s best decisions and helped lead to finally getting a Super Bowl; the Chargers firing Schottenheimer was one of their dumbest decisions and likely played a part in their becoming a laughingstock.
Jerry should have fired McCarthy to complete the trifecta with a playoff firing that doesn’t change anything at all.
hahahahaha
Maybe they should say it ISN’T their year.
I was also kind of confused as to why people were calling for McCarthy and Sirianni’s heads. I mean, I totally get it, but also they’ve had enough success with their teams during the regular season that one embarrassing playoff loss shouldn’t be the death knell. Although, you could certainly argue that McCarthy has had more than enough bad playoff losses with talented teams to suggest that’s part of his DNA.
The Sirianni stuff feels just like Philly being Philly, they’re too passionate to think clearly so they panic at the first sign of trouble. Good.
Really, it’s just because Sirianni is such a hateable jackass with a punchable face.
With McCarthy, it’s more just that people know that he’s not that good of a coach, and know he got the job in odd circumstances.
Definitely agree with the Sirianni take here. I think the fact that he is so cocky and full of himself makes it so much harder for philly fans to accept his losses. Makes the good times feel better and the bad times feel terrible. Still can’t believe anyone seriously thought his job was in jeopardy tho.
Odd.circumstances? Whatever do you mean??? It’s totally normal to have a sleepover cuddly party with an 850 year old husk and tell it that you watched every play from the prior season, and then publicly admit that you completely lied about that because you wanted the job, and in fact never watched a single play. There’s nothing odd about this.
Regarding McCarthy, it’s just hard to blame the playoff failures on the players, since the roster is clearly talented with pro bowlers and all pros everywhere. Which means the problem is coaching. McCarthy isn’t going to get any better, so if the Cowboys keep him, how can they expect a better result next year?
Would you say they went 30-50 feral hogs
Between Belichick and Carroll (and even questions about Tomlin and others) I feel like there should be a lot of good off season coach content. Definitely don’t waste it all now.
> For everyone who wasn’t a Cowboys or NFC North fan, this was the funniest possible outcome.
I think it’s just the Bears and Vikings from North. Lions fans aren’t particularly happy with the Cowboys, and the upset gives the Lions another home game, so (at least for me) the positives outweigh the negatives.
The only salt I have over this outcome is that the Packers did something that Vikings fans *wish* their team could do: utterly humiliate “America’s Team” in their own home.
But other than that, I won’t lie, for this game specifically, despite being a Vikings fan, I was genuinely rooting for the Pack, because I hate the Cowboys that much more. In fact, I had Green Bay *winning* this game, because I had a gut feeling Mike McCarthy would McCarthy it up. And he did.
Hey there’s another one! I’m never going ot actively root for the Packers, but I felt okay with this outcome because there a very high chance GB gets absolutely embarassed in SF. That’s a win-win. Dallas gets caught looking in the backfield and gets bumped with authority by a not-very-good Packers team, and then the Packers get shown that just because you get lucky, doesn’t mean you’re a good team.
now, if GB goes in and beats SF…….
Yeah…definitely gonna have a sad if it really does turn out that Green Bay will be back to lording over us in a few years time with the youngest team in the league and that the “years of darkness” we were promised lasted all of seven weeks. :/
Other notable lopsided rivalries
Texans v the Divisional Round
Packers vs NFC Championship round
Marvin Lewis vs the Wild Card round
If the Packers get bounced by the 49ers this weekend I might come back with this template again because that’ll be the 5th time they got bounced by SF in the last 12 years
I’m torn on who to root for in that game because on one hand it’s always hilarious seeing Green Bay eat shit in the playoffs, but on the other, can you imagine how funny it would be for Jordan Love to show up in his first season and do something that Aaron Rodgers never could? The narratives would be insane.
THIS is definitely the outcome I want to see.
Not only that, but it sets up a potential Lions-Packers championship game, which would be the wildest story.
Washington vs themselves
Somehow I thought there were more than just the seven CarCrashComics
But going back through the archives I picked up an important detail I hadn’t noticed before, the Seahawk’s jerseys changed from dirty navy to color-rush neon snotvomit right before they crashed
DallASS in January is the equivalent of the Panthers in any other month.
> They played 4 playoff teams: The Eagles, the Dolphins, the Lions, and the Rams.
I think you mean that they *beat* 4 playoff teams.
> How many coaches can you name that got fired after reaching the playoffs?
Kind of surprised you missed a big one, Jim Harbaugh, after not just reaching the playoffs, but getting to the Super Bowl.
I kind of get why you would consider firing a coach that gets to the playoffs but never wins in them. It’s part of the calculus, who is it that is producing and getting you to those playoffs. The coach? Then you keep him and start leaning on the GM to get the coach better players to make the push to the Super Bowl. But if it’s the players? Then yeah, if what they need is a better coach, you’d be a fool not to find them a coach that can push them to that next level, assuming one is available. Which brings us to the big problem and why I think neither Nick or McCarthy got fired, who is out there that really is an improvement? Belichick, who has been doing awful the last few years? Harbaugh, who has such a nice thing going at Michigan that I feel he’d be a fool to leave such a cozy place where he is loved and adored? You are better off sticking it out to till another star rises and make a bid for them.
I think Dave was saying fired the offseason immediately after going to the playoffs. Harbaugh got fired two seasons removed from the Super Bowl appearance and after the Niners missed the playoffs that season.
They got destroyed by the niners?