The Colts Find A New Coach
So Josh McDaniels was never going to join the Colts. It’s a conspiracy. Hear me out.
So Billy 5 aces senses that this particular Patriots team isn’t as strong as previous teams. They have a bad defense, a wounded and injured offense, and have played a weak schedule. There is a chance they might actually lose. So he sends his loyal troll sidekick to Indy, his most hated of teams, to pretend to be interested. McDaniels earns the trust of the Colts. Signs a verbal agreement. Gets a coaching staff lined up. However, he’s only there so that if the Patriots lose, Billy can quickly “change his mind” and cause a huge uproar. Everyone gets mad at Josh McDaniels. Everyone gets concerned about the Colts. And just like that, within one day…Nobody is talking about how the Patriots lost anymore. It’s been forgotten for this new juicy news in which the Colts have been screwed. Genius.
It certainly screwed me over. I had a comic half-made about dunking on the Pats one last time before I go quiet on them. Now I’ll have to finish it and put it on on Saturday, which I said I wasn’t gonna do, making me a liar within one comic AND making that joke feel a bit outdated. Thanks a lot Billy. You brilliant asshole.
Jokes aside this was a hell of a whopper and I had to get this comic done because there is a good chance it’s outdated by the weekend. I assume the Colts will find a replacement soon enough. It won’t be good though. This is a hell of a mess though and McDaniels for sure screwed the Colts for 2018.
I assume McDouchey Face was promised the key to New England because there’s no other explanation for how he’d be willing to completely tank his own reputation again after spending so long rebuilding it. No other team is going to touch McDaniels now. He’s a Pat for life. All these years we were willing to accept that maybe the Broncos tenure was just a mistake, an early learning process. Now it seems like he’s still been a douche all along.
McDaniels was completely within his right to do what he did but man was it unprofessional and boy did it reflect badly on him. I don’t think the mind changing bothers me too much. What bothers me is the people he screwed in the process. The people he hired, who left other jobs to work for him in Indy, now left stranded in the Colts with no boss. Irsay and Ballard have graciously offered to keep them employed (good for them) but of course that’s also a problem. Now whoever the Colts hire will have to work with these new coaches instead of bringing in their own guys, making it likely there might be some incompatibility. Also, this makes the Colts job very unappealing to wanna be coaches. Do you want a job with a team you can’t change already in place, when you already know you weren’t the first choice? That the team didn’t want you until they had to settle?
In the short term the Colts are totally screwed. In the long term it might be okay, because McDaniels seems like a dickweed and will hopefully get tanked once he is given the keys but without Brady and Billy fails to meet Patriots fans impossible standards. We’ll all have a good laugh when that happens.
Long story short: Do not hire coaches with a last name that starts with Mc. McAdon’t do it. They last 1 and 1/2 seasons, ruin starting QBs, and set the franchises back years.
I was dickin down my ole lady and got this notification, had to read the fresh comic like I do every 3 am. Now she’s pissed off and staring me down…… women
UM, Nick Foles is a devout Christian, I don’t think he appreciates your vulgarity.
I sure did….
Grigson would definitely go to McAdoo though, at least Ballard looks competent even if this was a mess given that McDaniels already had some assistants picked out and PEOPLE DON’T USUALLY BACK OUT OF A DEAL AFTER GETTING ASSISTANTS TO MOVE TO WORK FOR A NEW TEAM AND ANYONE DUMB ENOUGH TO DEFEND H-
He basically deserves to be let down by everyone else like he was in that Super Bowl on repeat
Somehow, I’m smelling Jeff Fisher in Indy. Somehow feels like it. Just as a replacement coach for a year or two to straighten things out(7-9 would look like an improvement after the 4-win abomination they had this season), then they kick him out and get a proper new coach after rebuilding the team.
Bad news is, that will likely be the final nails in the coffin to Andrew Luck’s tragic career should it become a reality. For Luck’s sake I hope that doesn’t happen, even if Fisher finally getting the all-time loss record for a head coach would be hilarious.
In other news(relevant to the comic), apparently Josh McDaniels’s agent fired him. Whoa nelly. Didn’t see that coming. When was the last time an agent fired his NFL client? Johnny Trainwreck(double in rapid succession)?
“In other news(relevant to the comic), apparently Josh McDaniels’s agent fired him. Whoa nelly. Didn’t see that coming. When was the last time an agent fired his NFL client? Johnny Trainwreck(double in rapid succession)?”
He is also the agent for the Colts GM. So, in solidarity with one client, he ditches the other.
So, the Pats cheated and the Colts deserve punishment for not letting them get away with it?
Oh boy, this should be fun. *opens a bag of popcorn*
Hurr durr “the pats cheated”. Keep crying.
I honestly think Ballard will tap Toub. I don’t want him to leave my Chiefs, but it makes a lot of sense and I think he could be a great head coach.
I’m torn here. As a human being, I recognize that McDaniels is being a dick here.
However, the Colts deserve everything and more going wrong for them starting deflategate. I was hoping that he would go there, wait until the Playoffs playing the Pats. Then hit Luck with a chair, tear off his shirt revealing a Brady jersey and run across the field and have Belichick slap him on the back and say “Well Done”
Smells like a fresh batch of Patriot bias! Go fuck yourself. The whole deflate gate bullshit didn’t mean a thing. The Pats still won.
As a fan, I went through 2 years of dealing with the defaltegate bullshit. So no.
Oh poor you. How terrible to have your star qb miss a whole full games, only to win the Superbowl. You have my sympathies, you poor, poor baby.
You must be a huge Pats homer if you think that deflategate justifies how screwed the Colts got over this.
How are they screwed over? If anything, McDaniels is the most screwed over as he probably can’t coach anywhere else for the foreseeable future.
Fuck the colts. You kicked peyton to the curb, you started that bullshit known as deflategate, ruined luck, and fucked over baltimore. Your franchise can rot in hell.
At least they gave Denver Elway. And Peyton, really. Still… their treatment of Baltimore is inexcusable, so I always root against them (unless they are in fact playing Baltimore, whose sin against Cleveland was greater).
Fuck the Colts. They kicked Baltimore to the curb, and whined their way out of the “hard” AFC East. They were even trying that shit in 1995 when they wanted to swap divisions with the creamsickle bucs. FUCK THE COLTS. (Oh, and they blatantly tanked in 1997 to get Manning).
Don’t forget- Oh, and they blatantly tanked in 2011 to get Luck.
“kicked Peyton to the curb” Nobody knew if hed ever be able to play again, and he was consulted about the choice to draft luck and release him
“Started Deflategate” Goodell is the reason that blew up, and Baltimore actually complained about the same issue first.
“Ruined Luck” Luck got hurt because of his playstyle and there’s no reason he wont be playing next year. thats far from ruined.
“fucked over Baltimore” Lol, go read what actually happened. The stadium was deteriorating, the Colts asked for a new one, Baltimore said no, then Baltimore decided it could get out of building a new stadium if they used Eminent Domain to take the team away from the Irsay family. The colts moved from Baltimore because the city tried to steal the team from its owner.
“blatantly tanked to get luck” This one makes no sense at all. The entire staff got fired at the end of that year. Why would they tank on purpose and get fired? The team won 2 of its last 3 games, and if the Rams had not won another game late in the season, the Colts wouldn’t have been at #1.
So much hate, so much misinformation. I see these things all over the place, and none of it makes any fucking sense.
Fuck Indy for following proper procedure and not Goodell for bringing it up even after the first attempt in court had Brady reinstated, right?
Look, the Colts complained to the league because they BROKE THE RULES (oh, we care about rules now?) and measured a football on the sideline because “it felt soft.” Does anyone really think that makes a difference? This is the sort of stuff the Colts spends their time focused on instead of improving their team… so yeah, they can twist in the wind. If you don’t want to get bamboozled don’t announce a guy as your coach before he signs a contract and don’t hire his sub-coaches first. This is really all avoidable if the Colts used an ounce of sense.
Hating the way Goodell handled it does not preclude one from hating the way the Colts handled it, too. Goodell is poison to everything he touches, but the Colts were ridiculously petty and childish in their handling of it. The organization as a whole has not handled things well for a few years now, and deserve all the ridicule they’ve so far received.
As a Colts fan I dont think tanking is a bad thing, also you guys Would have won anyway, but cheating is inexcusable and also Tom Brady is overrated
COME AT ME BITCH
Luck isn’t playing again according to my sources
not tomsula riding up in the van? http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/goodnight-sweet-tomsula/
He’s the D-Line Coach for the ‘Skins
Time for another ex-arena player (Jay Gruden, Matt Nagy, Steve Wilkes, Sean Payton). Or Jeff Fisher gets to go 7-9; that works too.
Ben McAdoo is the type of guy who buys full albums off iTunes paying one song at a time.
This is the most hilarious thing I’ve read in weeks.
McAdoo would probably bench Luck and claim that the poor offense is on him. Though honestly the Colts did kinda deserved what they got not just for that so-called deflategate crap but for murdering Andrew Luck. Don’t be surprised if the next QB they draft pulls an Elway or Eli. Firing Polian didn’t help either.
In McDermott we trust
What about ol tomsula?
I think this will be better for the Colts in the long run. I was really upset about the McDaniels hire anyway because of his Denver tenure and looks like I was proven correct.
I hope they hire Frank Reich.
“Signs a verbal agreement.” that made me LOL
McDaniels didn’t cover himself in glory, but their were rumors going around about this for at least a week. So Colts fucked themselves by failing to get a commitment at the start (supposedly he was all “I need to think about it and talk it over with my family blah blah”) and moving on when they didn’t get it, and then announcing it before they had a signed contract.
And anyway, fuck the Colts, they can burn in hell for screwing Baltimore. I grew up a Colts fan, and my hatred runs deep.
For some reason the screw up with the Colts made me feel better about the Giants despite last season…
Andrew Luck may have been a low key version of Archie Manning or Tim Couch as they have their careers ruined by shitty team and gets blamed by idiots for it. At least Luck has the stats that will give him benefit of doubt but if his career ends like this, the situation he’s in isn’t that much different if anything.
At least it’s not as bad as how the Texas Rangers ruined Clyde in the 1970s.
Need another Money Fort. JIMMY G got paid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl1mQASHc48
Thank you for this, I totally needed that.
Ahahahaha, and now Minnesota/Indy are looking to snatch coaches from the Eagles. McDaniels/Belichick/Kraft dicked over 2 franches, god i love the Pats. r/evilleagueofevil shit right there.
The fact that the Colts even considered McDaniels despite what he did to the Broncos should be another clue about the organization’s dysfunction.
McDaniels did some pretty freakin’ good things in Denver. He built up the offensive and defensive line to some of the strongest in the league. He got some great receivers, and he strengthened the secondary. His game plans were mostly okay. The only two real personnel mistakes were Tebow, and … the CB whose-name-I-can’t-remember. But his other picks? Like 10 of them were still on the team when they won the Super Bowl. The year he was fired, they had more starter lost-time to injury than any team had had in something like 25 years, and the most Denver had ever had, plus a first-place schedule on a team still rebuilding and finding itself. As an avid Broncos fan, McDaniels set Denver up for the enormous success that Fox squandered and Kubiak managed to salvage over the next 5 years. Ditching Cutler for Orton + draft picks was 100% the right thing to do, but it cost him his job because it didn’t have immediate Super Bowl wins (never mind that it was the first playoff win in 7 years for the team).
McDaniels was an ass to the media, and he didn’t do what Elway wanted, but he did just fine by the Broncos themselves.
He started 6-2 with a lot of lucky wins. Over the rest of his time in Denver, he went 5-15. Besides that and the Tebow selection, there’s the fact that his first move as head coach was to call Cutler into his office and bitch him out, saying he’d never amount to anything. Naturally, Cutler wanted to get the hell out of Denver.
As for “the right thing to do,” I don’t think so. Cutler was developing as a quarterback in Denver, but when he went through the Bears he was handed OC after OC after OC (which is HORRIBLE for continued QB development), and they STILL made it to an NFC Championship game with Cutler (odd how that gets forgotten).
And “didn’t do what Elway wanted”… McDaniels had been fired before Elway was hired on by the Broncos. For cheating in the same way that Spygate was (only this time, it was three years later). Against the 49ers. In a game they didn’t even WIN.
The best thing McDaniels did was get us Von Miller by sucking so much his second year. The SECOND best thing he did was inadvertently allow Manning to come to Denver by shoving Cutler out the door.
Elway was GM when McDaniels beat the Steelers; he is the one who fired McDaniels. He 100% wasn’t hired afterward.
Cutler was not a franchise QB. He’s a good-enough-to-not-be-dead-last QB, but even at the time, I was tired of his bullcrap. McDaniels viewed Orton as a stop-gap (and he was a sufficient stop-gap). But he got a mint for Cutler, and turned that largely into an offensive line and defensive line.
He drafted Beadles (Pro bowler for Denver in 2012), Erick Decker, Demaryius, Ayers, and Walton besides Tebow. Elway’s jettisoned most of those, but he had a *very* high percentage of players still in the NFL– which is fairly remarkable given the high rate of flame-outs in the league. But he gave Denver one of the best O-lines in the game when Manning game to Denver (which was part of why Manning came to Denver); Elway released or didn’t make a serious effort to resign most of those, and, well, Denver’s O-line is one of the worst in the league. He pushed to build Denver’s defensive line. Elway’s focused more on linebackers, and while Von Miller’s amazing, the rest of the defensive front-seven have been not-so-slowly diminishing or vanishing. How’s that going, again?
McDaniels was building a team from the ground up that would last for decades like the Patriots. He was bringing in Belichick’s style to it. He was starting with the foundation, but he had some sexiness thrown in as well. Whether or not you liked the Tebow pick, the rest of his foundation was damned solid, and it was the skeleton the team built around for the next 4 years to get them Super Bowl ready.
Not sure if anyone would buy that but I’ll leave it to someone else so good luck on that. I’m not that invested as long the Giants stays away from the guy unless it’s for the offensive coordinator position.
MONEY FORT FOR JIMMY GAROPPOLO!!!!!!!
Would do anything to see this comic
For the next stop in their jolly quest to ‘punch the money gods’, after recruiting the Frat King of El Staffordo to their ranks, Flacco and co. wind up at the fabled Golden Gates of the Bay, to seek an audience with the handsome young lord Garafolo, who resides therein.
Time for more concern trolling about The Right Way To Comport Yourself from the Suckforlucks. 5:1 the phrase “the integrity of the game” is used unironically
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLCvJZmAYzI
Ben McAdoo jacks off in the airplane bathroom and has a subtle smirk on his face as he passes the next occupant
Also his friend is Larry Craig.
The 345
slants burger
dollar obj
bench fries
sodas for one
I think that’s what the clipboard says
Would be nice to see Michaels and Collinsworth being put to task for making their pro-Pats bias too blatant.