THE CHAOS AWARD…Nominations!
Time to award the stupidest shit from 2024!
This is not the awards themselves, this your chance to nominate your winners and make your cases. Like the previous two seasons, this is not an awards show for the best players or the fanicest things. This is for the dumb stuff. The weird stuff. The unpredictable nonsense that made the 2024 football season what it was. The flavors that truly bring out the best in every season.
Please comment here with your nominees, as well as making a case for them if you so choose. I will be choosing the winners and they will be posted on Friday. I really loved hearing everyone’s arguments the last two years, and it is a great way to remember a lot of things many of us selectively forgot. So, here are the categories once again, and with a small explanation as to what the criteria is that I’m looking for.
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – (Previous winners: 2022 Justin Fields, 2023 Joe Flacco). What players made a huge impact, both positive and negative, on the field. This player needs to have done some weird, unpredictable shit and generally made the season funnier.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – (2022 Vikings, 2023 Bills). Which team made no sense? Maybe they were good but never won, or they won but were never good. Maybe they kept having bizarre games with high drama and wild nonsense.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – (2022 the Raiders Lateral play, 2023 the Toney false gamewinner) This is essentially the most chaotic play of the year. A wild gamewinner, or a play that completely turned the tide of a game, that sort of thing. It doesn’t have to be a single play, it can be a series of events in a short time.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – (2022 Vikings Comeback, 2023 Raiders demolish Chargers). Basically the game that went hard. Turnovers, weird playcalls, massive impacts across the league standings.
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – (2022 Mike McCarthy, 2023 Dan Campbell) Which coach always kept us on our toes? Can be a coordinator instead of head coach.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE – (2022 Hiring of Jeff Saturday, 2023 Promoting Matt Patricia). This one might be harder to come up with, so I want to emphasize this nomination includes the entire league year, from draft to post-super bowl. Hirings, firings, bonkers trades, you name it. If it was stupid, nominate it.
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – (2023 Aaron Rodgers being a lunatic) This may also include anything from the calendar year’s offseason. Players get in trouble and do dumb stuff all the time. So do executives. So do owners!
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – (2023 Aaron Rodgers Achillies) – The injury that changed the trajectory and vibe of a team and season the most.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER (NEW CATEGORY!) – To fit in line with my long-running Chaos Report segment, I have decided to also bring in this new category. Basically, not the most unwatchable team or guy, but the one that let us down the most. Who did we have high expectations for only to watch them fall apart and let us down week after week?
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – (2022 Saints, 2023 Panthers) – What team gave you no joy watching. Not hate watching, not funny watching, but no joy. Just unpleasant to the eyes. Depressing. Considering this year, I expect this category to be stacked.
Feel free to nominate more than one instance in each category if you have trouble picking.
Also, as part of our second Chaos Hall of Fame, I am once again bringing in a new class, consisting of one play, one player, and one game from all of football history. Please list your top choice for each slot from amongst these nominees, and those will be our new class. (Also feel free to nominate a few so I can remember them for next year as well. Try not to just pick good players, we need some weirdos in there)
NOMINATIONS FOR PLAYER
Deion Sanders, Nick Foles, Eli Manning, The Fridge, Fran Tarkenton, Michael Vick, Brett Favre, Marshawn Lynch, Jim Thorpe, Randal Cunningham, Kurt Warner, Patrick Mahomes, Peyton Hillis, Gale Sayers, Joe Namath, Chad OchoCinco, Bernard Pollard, Ryan Fitzpatrick, SEXY REXY, Terrell Owens
NOMINATIONS FOR GAME
18-1 Giants Win, 28-3 Patriots Comeback, The Famous Dolphins/Steelers Mud Punt game, Vikings Comeback against the Colts, the Bills Comeback against the Oilers in the playoffs, Jaguars sending Dan Marino into hell 62-7, 13 seconds, The Beastquake
NOMINATIONS FOR PLAY
Immaculate Reception, Sea of Hands, Holy Roller, The Gary Anderson Miss, Wide Right, The Helmet Catch, The James Harrison Pick-6, The Malcom Butler Pick, The River City Relay and subsequent missed kick, The Music City Miracle, Sean Payton’s SB onside Kick, The Minneapolis Miracle, The Miracle in Miami, Fail Mary
I do ask that when voting, try to place your personal team biases aside as best you can and pick what seems to best fit.
Disappointment Duck has to go to Anthony Richardson. Started with a damned bang, and then it was just wet paper towel all the way through the rest of the season.
Most Chaotic Player – Will Levis
This one’s hard, but I’m giving it to Levis for managing to find a new way to lose nearly every game in the funniest, wildest ways.
Most Chaotic Team – Chiefs
How could it not be? The toe against Baltimore, the questionable PI against the Bengals, the blocked field goal in Denver, the innie doink against the Chargers, the Raiders’ game-winning field goal that wasn’t thanks to a weird bad snap… almost losing to the Panthers. Week after week it was some devil magic BS that was winning them games at the last second. And it all came to a head in the Super Bowl with an uncharacteristically terrible performance, maybe the worst of the entire Mahomes era.
Most Chaotic Moment/Sequence – Commanders Hail Mary vs Bears -OR- Josh Allen pass/receiving TD vs 49ers
This one’s tough, so I’m nominating two. Either the hail mary that kicked off a 10-game losing streak for the Bears, or one of the most unusual and unexpected scoring plays in NFL history.
Most Chaotic Game – Bills @ Rams, week 13
No one expected the Rams to ball out as hard as they did this particular week, with a blocked punt return touchdown thrown in as the cherry on top.
Most Chaotic Coach – Dan Campbell
It might be unchaotic to pick the guy who won last year, but he’s such a step above any other possible candidate. For better or worse, he’s chaos personified.
Most Chaotic Front Office Move – The Eagles signing Saquon
Sorry, Dave, but you know as well as anyone that this move had a ripple effect lasting perpetually throughout the entire season, all the way to the Super Bowl, and it’s still ongoing. The Giants will never live this down. (If this doesn’t count, then probably the Jets firing Robert Saleh after a 2-3 start.)
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama – Justin Tucker
This one felt like it came out of nowhere, despite there apparently having been mumblings about it on social media years ago. Maybe it’s recency bias, but I’m struggling to think of anything crazier happening this year.
Most Chaotic Injury – Tua’s concussion in week 2
This one’s easy. Tua getting concussed after slamming into, of all people, Damar Hamlin, completely silenced the Miami crowd for the rest of the night, it got everyone talking about Tua’s long-term health, and in the four weeks of Tua’s absence, they go 1-3 (only beating the Patriots) and scoring no more than 16 points in a game.
Disappointment Duck – Saints
They got off to a rocket start in their first two weeks, outscoring their opponents 91-29, setting up expectations that would quickly be stomped out by a 7 game losing streak.
Most Unwatchable Team – Titans
This category has a lot of nominees this year, but the only three teams the Titans managed to beat were the Patriots, the Tua-less Dolphins, and the Texans, a division opponent. The only interesting things happening were Will Levis doing something stupid.
– Hall of fame picks:
Player: Terrell Owens
Game: 28-3
Play: Fail Mary (Packers vs Seahawks week 3, 2012)
Most Chaotic Front Office Move
I would say it probably should go to the Giants FO for choosing to appear on Hard Knocks. While the Eagles signing Saquon was indeed chaotic, I don’t think it would have been as memorable or brought up nearly as much without the clips that came out from the show.
Or, I should say choosing to reveal as much as they revealed of the process of actually releasing Saquon–not sure if the FO had a choice in appearing on the show or not. They certainly did have a choice though in what conversations they wanted to have in front of the cameras.
Disappointment Duck: Tyreek Hill. To go from supposed #1 ranked player league-wide to… that? Nothing without a decent QB.
Chaotic Injury: Tua. Killed the season stone-ass dead.
Chaotic Off-Field Drama: Justin Tucker.
HOF Player: Mr Perry. That TD rumble, ex-London Monarch, what’s not to love?
HOF Game: SB XLII. The latest the champagne has ever popped.
HOF Play: Much as I want to say the Miracle In Miami, I got to give it to Music City first.
The Fail Mary for the Chaos HOF
Most Chaotic Player – Will Levis
Most Chaotic Team – Chiefs
Most Chaotic Moment/Sequence – Final play of the lions vs bears thanksgiving game
Most Chaotic Game – Cowboys vs Commanders Week 12
Most Chaotic Coach – Matt Eberflus
Most Chaotic Front Office Move – Jets not signing Jerry Jeudy, because of his madden rating.
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama – Justin Tucker
Most Chaotic Injury – Deshaun Watsons Achilles tear
Disappointment Duck – 49ers
Most Unwatchable Team – Patriots
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Jameis Winston. Win or lose, he was always entertaining.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – Bears. Just the way they kept losing in heartbreaking (and often stupid) ways. Speaking of which…
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – The ending to the Bears/Lions Thanksgiving game. Clock management so bad that it cost Eberflus his job.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – Colts @ Giants. Colts look like a bunch of Dolts, Giants screw up their tank.
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – Dan Campbell. Live by the 4th down, die by the 4th down.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE – The Giants letting Saquon go. Need i say more?
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – Jerry Jones saying the Cowboys were going “all in”, and then did…nothing. Lol.
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – Tua self-concussing himself
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER – Jets. I wasn’t considering them Super Bowl contenders, but I figured they would have at least been competitive, instead of…whatever the fuck that was.
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – Raiders
HOF PLAYER – Owens
HOF GAME – Super Bowl V, AKA The Blooper Bowl
HOF PLAY – Fail Mary
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER: I have to give this one to Football Moose. He brings such a good level of chaos to every game he’s in.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM: Vikings get the title back here. I had them going 5-12 this year, and I thought that number would be even worse when McCarthy got hurt. I absolutley underrated their defense, but Darnold and the offense were none too bad either. Also, going 14-3 and getting the 5th seed is its own level of chaos.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT: The Cowboys tip a Bengals punt. It crosses the LoS, but doesn’t go far. If a Bengals player touches it, it’s Cowboys ball in Bengals territory. A Cowboys player tries to catch it, muffs it, and the Bengals recover. Bengals go on to win the game. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team lose because of a block/tip on special teams that they caused. That’s insane levels of chaos.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME: Biased here, but Bills-Rams. That level of offensive production for both teams is simply good chaos at its finest
MOST CHAOTIC COACH: Dan Campbell won last year, so I’ll say Dan Quinn. I really thought that he would flop, as did a lot of people. He goes for the gutsy play often and is riding a good level of success because of it.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE: The Jets firing a HC and GM all to appease a QB that they’d end up letting go anyway. Honestly, there’s a lot about the Jets tha could be considered chaotic, but I felt they fit best here
MOST CHAOTIC OFF FIELD DRAMA: I thought about putting the Jets here, but Justin Tucker really stole this award this year. Unless we don’t want to highlight someone being a horrible human being, in that case go Jets again. Have it be the Jets owner basing signings off his kids’ opinions and Madden ratings.
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY: Karma killing Deshaun Watson
DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK: Jets again!
UNWATCHABLE TEAM: The Browns had Jameis, the Titans had Levis, the Raiders looked good in a couple of games. But the Giants? They had nothing. Tommy Cutlets spared them from this award in 2023, but I think they get it for 2024.
HOF PLAYER: Eli Manning. When I think of The Draw Play I think of 3 things: Dave in an Eli jersey, Eli eating a rocket pop, and the Ringless Rivers comics featuring Eli. Add in one of the most chaotic Super Bowl victories of all time, and this dude is a Draw Play HoFer for sure. Tempted to pick SexyRexy here but Eli has a better case. Eli deserves to be in at least one HoF this year…
HOF GAME: The Comeback Game (Oilers/Bills). The Bills with a backup QB coming back from down 32 is absolutley insane. It being in a playoff game is even wilder. Another Bills one I could see for the future is their snow game against the Colts in 2017.
HOF PLAY: River City Relay. Good chaos to bad chaos all in one sequence. It doesn’t get more Draw Play HoF than that!
Most Chaotic Player: Sam Darnold. Bizarrely becomes best quarterback in the league throughout much of the season after years of seeing ghosts, then in his last game, Darnolds his way out of strong playoff position and then proceeds to deliver the worst QB play in the 2024 postseason (perhaps excluding the Super Bowl lol.) Can’t think of anyone who has delivered a more puzzling season.
Most Chaotic Player
-Sam Darnold, almost definitely. Being made to start all year because JJ McCarthy was recovering from injury/surgery stuff, smashing ALL expectations and having a breakout season, and then the last two games where it all went utterly downhill. It’s hard to make as strong an argument for anyone else.
Most Chaotic Team
-I’m actually gonna go with the Bears. Started 4-2 with some wins against bad teams, then a TON of BS happened during their 10-game losing streak. Not just the Commanders Hail Mary to kick off the losing streak, but immediately after that they had 3 divisional games in a row (vs the NFC North, of all divisions) and managed to lose them all by a combined 7 points, including a last-second blocked FG vs the Packers and Eberflus’s masterful timeout management on Thanksgiving vs the Lions. Then in Week 17 TNF in Seattle, a combined 9 points were scored by both teams, field goals only. Then in Week 18 they finally beat the Packers after an 11-game losing streak in the rivalry and are technically undefeated in 2025.
Most Chaotic Moment or Sequence
-The Bears-Commanders Hail Mary. Tyrique Stevenson taunting the fans and missing the start of the play, then running to the scrum just in time to help tip the ball right into the endzone. Crazy stuff.
Most Chaotic Game
-Broncos-Browns, Week 13 MNF. Absolute barn-burner between two not-good teams. Jameis Winston went and Jameis Winston-ed it all the way. He threw 497 yards… to his teammates. To his NON-teammates he threw 171 yards including two pick-sixes.
Most Chaotic Front Office Move
-Technically it happened after the Jags and Bucs seasons ended, but the entire Liam Coen saga during the most recent coaching carousel. Turning down the Jags job and telling the Bucs he’s gonna stay, then Trent Baalke gets fired (finally), then Coen un-turning down the Jags job and making Bucs fans sad.
-Either that, or the Jets firing Robert Saleh mid-season because of the Rodgers stuff.
Biggest Disappointment Duck Team
-The Jets? (But then again, why did so many people predict them to win the division, even with Rodgers and co? They’re the Jets.)
-The Bengals (MVP-level Burrow utterly let down by his defense and o-line.)
HOF Play – River City Relay and missed PAT kick
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama
Unfortunately, I think it’s Justin Tucker. It feels icky to nominate it for “chaos” when people were legit sexually harassed, but it’s definitely notable, and also made other controversies like Watson and even Kraft look different in retrospect.
Most Unwatchable Team
I actually think this should *not* be the Titans, if only because Will Levis’s memeability makes it a little “so bad it’s funny”. Good options are Raiders, Giants, or Patriots.
Most Chaotic Player – Will Levis
This is starting to feel very much like the MVP award where it goes to the Quarterback with the most insane/bizarre lowlights or craziest comeback story, but I cannot think of any good non-QB candidates here, and Will Levis’ 5 week run to open the season might be an all-timer in terms of the amount of memes he effortlessly generated. I mean, this guy quite literally fell to his knees and his a surrender cobra mid-play after throwing one of the worst picks you will ever see. The only other player matching that sort of nonsensical energy is Jameis Winston, who is also a QB, and he is my honorable mention for this award.
Most Chaotic Team – Washington Commanders
This one is actually a tossup for me. I was very inclined to put the Chiefs here, given that they were the kings of one score games. Their wins became so absurd that it reached the point where people started comparing their luck to the Devil Magic of Tom Brady. They opened the season with a win because Isaiah Likely has clown feet, followed that up with back to back wins thanks to refball at fortunate times, ended up as the last undefeated team in the league despite serious questions regarding the quality of their offense.. then ripped off a stretch of stinky bullshit wins that included barely beating Denver off of a blocked FG, barely scraping by an awful Carolina team, beating Vegas thanks to a mistimed botched snap on a play that (probably) should have been blown dead, and winning the AFC West for the umteenth year in a row thanks to a fucking doink. Honestly, if it were literally any other team, it would be them. But they’ve reached the point of winning so consistently that their chaotic moments are less fun as they are infuriating to watch as a neutral fan.
So instead, let’s give a shout out to another team that were also kings of the one-score game! The Commies were easily the league’s best story. Finally free from the shackles of Dan Snyder’s ownership, and rocking a new Head Coach and fresh, young QB, I don’t think expectations were super high out in DC, but there was at least some hope that this team would show some signs of hope moving forward. I doubt a single person alive expected this team to go on the run they did. 12-5, some goofy wins against the Giants, a crazy back and forth win against the Bengals, and a streak of close wins to close out the season with a 5 game win streak made them an extremely fun watch. Oh, and that’s not even mentioning their win against the Bears that I’ll talk about later. All of that alone would be enough to give them the nod here, but when coupled with their even more unlikely run to their first NFC Championship Game since 1991? Yeah, I’d much prefer to give them some love here than give anything else to the Chiefs.
Most Chaotic Moment – Jayden Daniels’ GW Hail Mary vs Chicago
Remember that Commies/Bears game I was talking about? Yeah. The game itself was a largely forgettable slog that Washington controlled for most of the way. But a 4th quarter collapse left them in desperation-mode late. They needed a miracle, and they got one in chaotic fashion. The pass being tipped straight into the hands of a receiver makes this play one-of-one by default, but the fact that the defender who tipped it was literally taunting fans AS THE PLAY WAS HAPPENING makes it an all-time chaotic moment (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Ml7f09t5BJc).
Biased Shout but Honorable Mention goes to this game tying Drake Maye TD because everything about this play is stupid (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbsjR5On0qk).
Most Chaotic Game – Steelers @ Browns, Week 12
There are probably better games to choose from, but it’s hard to go against the surprise Snow Bowl, plus the game itself was pretty chaotic with Cleveland blowing a late lead after having controlled most of the game, only to snatch the victory late after what should have been a game losing INT by Jameis. I feel like this image sums it up pretty well: https://imagez.tmz.com/image/4d/o/2024/11/22/4df27f095c8b4b29aa8e01576bd5ff6f_md.jpg.
Also worth giving an obligatory shout to Rams @ Eagles, NFC Divisional for doing the exact same thing, albeit in a much cleaner game.
Most Chaotic Coach – Dan Campbell
Hard to go against the guy. Maybe Dan Quinn gets a nod here for also being hyper aggressive on 4th down, but I can’t go against the king of insane playcalls and goofy nonsense. Wish it could have ended better for you and your guys though, Danny C.
Most Chaotic FO Move – Patriots Hiring, then Firing Jerrod Mayo After 1 Season
Probably going to show my bias here, but honestly it’s hard to look past what the Patriots did here and not scratch your head. After letting go of the greatest coach of all time, the Pats didn’t bother to conduct a proper search for a replacement, as Bob Kraft had already guaranteed the job to Jerrod Mayo allegedly following the 2019 season. Having your replacement set 5 years in advance only to immediately axe him after 1 dismal season seems plenty chaotic to me. At the very least, it screams serious dysfunction at the top.
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama – Justin Tucker Doing His Best Deshaun Watson Impression
Probably some serious recency bias here but I mean come on. Literally who could have possibly expected this development at the end of the season?
Most Chaotic Injury – Trevor Lawrence’s Concussion vs Houston, Week 13
Honestly, there weren’t a whole lot of injuries that warranted major discussion this season, but this injury did generate a ton of discussion over player safety, as well as how much blame to place on QBs for trying to game the rules as much as possible. I’d say that counts for something.
Biggest Disappointment Duck – Cincinnati Bengals
Going out on a limb for this one. You could make an excellent argument that the Bengals were also the league’s most chaotic team. Joe Burrow finished with the most passing yards in the NFL with nearly 5000 as well as the most passing TDs with 43 and Ja’Marr Chase won the NFL’s coveted Triple Crown. Yet, thanks to their abysmal defense and untimely mistakes from the O, they somehow finished 9-8 and missed the playoffs outright in spite of their excellent numbers from their superstars. Given their insane outputs as well as the high expectations that come with actually having a franchise QB, I think Cincy definitely qualifies as the biggest Disappointment of 2024.
Most Unwatchable Team – New York Giants (sorry, Dave)
This year had a bunch of teams that could easily win this category. The Saints were an unwatchable mess after an amazing start over the first 2 weeks, and that was before Derek Carr got hurt. The Jaguars were putrid all year and had to close out the season watching Mac Jones struggle to throw a forward pass. The Titans were abysmal save for some funny moments from Will Levis. And then there’s even my own New England Patriots who spent most of the season getting their teeth kicked thanks due a glaring lack of talent across the roster and atrocious coaching. Hell, even the Jets were largely terrible to watch too.
But in most of those cases, there was at least SOMETHING worth watching – Tennessee dealt with Will Levis’ antics for the early part of the season, Jacksonville was at least watchable with TLaw, NE had some fun moments with Drake Maye, and the Jets set the bar pretty high for successful hate watches. The Saints were trash, but even they were more watchable than whatever the Giants were doing. I really don’t want to rag on your guys since you’ve already discussed them at length, but whenever I try to compare them to another bad team, it’s not really much of a question. At least you have Malik Nabers? Outside of that.. yeesh.
As for the Chaos HoF Picks:
Player – Chad Ochocinco because of this clip alone (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/W4_oC40iQpI)
Game – Super Bowl 51 (the objectively right answer is SB42 but I’ll be damned if I ever acknowledge that game)
Play – River City Relay and Missed Kick
If you actually read all of this, thanks? I should not have yapped this much.
I put down the Jerrod Mayo debacle as well! It just reeked of Kraft wanting to do things “the Patriot way” so he cut off his nose to spite his face. Sure, it COULD have worked, but it just feels like watching Guns and Roses on tour now. It’s just a bunch of has-beens trying to play the old hits and convince other people that they still hav eit instead of changing with the times and adapting. Kraft is Axel Rose wailing, trying to pretend that his vocal chords haven’t given up on him and he can’t sing like he used to anymore.
That’s an apt comparison. It’s just really hard to overlook how horribly the whole change was handled by Bob. Sure, the Patriots being awful didn’t have any significant ramifications across the rest of the league, but still. Kicking the greatest Head Coach of all time to the curb (while shading him on the way out, mind you), only to instantly fire his protege after 1 season is so baffling that it deserves a mention in its own right.
Player: Sam Darnold – appearing to be a comeback player, than becoming a pumpkin when it matters
Team: Chiefs – got lucky all season, and the Super Bowl proved that they were frauds from the get go
Moment: NFC Championship when we learned the NFL can simply award a touchdown to a team
Game: Bengals/Broncos game
Coach: Campbell – was just as chaotic this year, going for it on fourth when it didn’t make sense, getting an injured team to the 1st seed
FO move: Titans basically giving the Chiefs Hopkins for a bag of chips
Off field drama: Rodgers winning a power struggle on the Jets over Saleh
Injury: Watson getting injured to release Jameis onto the league
Disappointment Duck: Texans/CJ stroud
Most unwatchable: either chiefs or patriots. Patriots were genuinely bad, but seeing the once exciting Chiefs team become a boring defensive team that eeks out wins and can barely beat Carolina is hard to watch as well
-MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Saquon Barkley. We’ve had good player, great players, but we’ve never had a player that felt like they could activate a cheat code or reduce the Difficulty Level to score on a given play.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – 2024 Bengals. Triple Crown WR, QB playing his best year, Near-Guarantee they would score every drive…but they still lost. They were the Anti-Chiefs.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – NFC CG: Referees Palpably Unfair Act Threat against Washington.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – Super Bowl. Yes, it was a blowout loss, but it felt weird. Kansas City got struggled and stopped getting the calls they usually got. Philly looking too dominant while Barkley was being kept in check. A dynasty ended, the ruthless Kansas City Empire overthrown, but instead of a climatic battle to the finish, it felt more like a Referendum and a exile to Canton with severance and a studio commentator deal.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER (NEW CATEGORY!) – Detroit Lions. A great regular season, only to lose in the 1st Playoff Game. They wouldn’t be the first team to go roughshod in the Regular Season only to get blinded by the Playoffs’ Lights, but with the Detroit Lions it was too sudden. Its almost like the Universe went “Stop! You’re the Lions! You’re not this good!” And the Lions relented.
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – 2024 Steelers. They just seemed painfully, averagely average. Even when they won, it felt less like a win and more like the other team just lost in spite of their opponent.
Feel free to nominate more than one instance in each category if you have trouble picking.
Also, as part of our second Chaos Hall of Fame, I am once again bringing in a new class, consisting of one play, one player, and one game from all of football history. Please list your top choice for each slot from amongst these nominees, and those will be our new class. (Also feel free to nominate a few so I can remember them for next year as well. Try not to just pick good players, we need some weirdos in there)
NOMINATIONS FOR PLAYER
Nick Foles (the NFL definition of Carpe Diem)
NOMINATIONS FOR GAME
The Bills Comeback against the Oilers in the playoffs (this was the moment that elevated the Bills Super Bowl run from a laughing stock to Approaches But Not Equal to Dynasty.)
NOMINATIONS FOR PLAY
Holy Roller (For all the jokes we made about the Chiefs cheating with the officials, the Raiders openly cheated and got away with it. But to their credit, it was less cheating and mostly “What the hell? Might as well do it and see if we get away with it.”)
HOF Nomimations:
Player: Nick Foles – SB MVP, 7 TD game, but not actually elite. His career regular season record is exactly 0.500
Game: music city miracle
Play: I’m going to nominate the original Miracle at the Meadowlands. Taking a knee wasn’t invented yet, so the Giants botched a handoff resulting in a fumble returned for a touchdown resulting in an Eagles win. The definition of tripping before the finish line
Miracle at the Meadowlands was the original inductee last year.
Oh good call! Allow me to change things:
Chaotic play: Music city miracle
Chaotic game: 28-3, should’ve been a blowout by Atlanta, but Shanahan doesn’t care about burning clock.
Also if I could nominate multiple players, I’d choose Vinny Testaverde as my 2nd. A journeyman with 2 pro bowls, but finished top 10 in every main QB stat despite not being that good overall. In addition to cementing himself in the record books, it is rare for a mediocre journeyman QB to have the longevity that he did. Definitely a worthy nomination for Chaos HOF
Most chaotic player: Darnold, it came outta nowhere and he spend the season swinging wildly between good and terrible, ending on the wettest fart.
Most chaotic team: Lions, had so many injuries and just kept winning, also the occasional jared goof. And another reason further down.
Most chaotic play: gotta be the hail mary that bounced of bro’s helmet after he spent the play taunting.
Most chaotic game: the above but the whole game
Most chaotic coach: Just pencil in Dan Campbell till further notice
Most chaotic FO move: Signing saquon from the giants (legit not taunting you with this I promise) and having him have a career year.
Most chaotic off field: Tyreek Hill telling the dolphins he was done with them just to walk it back
Most chaotic injury: probably aidan hutchison, really hurt the lions defense
Disappointment: If we’re saying compared to expectations, gotta be jets. But if personally, Niners.
Unwatchable: Giants
HOF Player: Big Dick Nick, man led his team to a superbowl one postseason and spent the rest of his career farting.
HOF Game: 18-1
HOF moment: Helmet catch
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Will Levis
Though his chaotic plays waned as the year went on, there was a solid streak of absolute ass-hattery from the “Mayo Clinic”. Those memes will be top-tier for a nice little while.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – I think writ-large it’s probably the Bears.
The entire arc of the season was a masterpiece of chaos. Looking good until the Hail Mary, then week after week of uneven play and terrible, TERRIBLE moments.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – The Commanders Hail Mary against the Bears.
This play had everything: a cocky defender who’s butt never could cash the checks his mouth was writing, a walk-off hail mary, and the beginning of the end of a season not even halfway through. You could also go with the Eberflus Thanksgiving debacle, but I want to give credit to this one for breaking the spine of the Bears who never could recover. Also….special dishonorable shoutout to Tyrique Stevenson for gifting us with this moment of instant karma.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – Broncos-Browns
I wanted to put the Super Bowl in because of how insane of a beatdown it was, but I think the chaos Jameis Winston brings when throwing the ball.
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – A lot of people will say Dan Campbell, I’m going to swerve and say Eberflus.
No coach zagged when he should have zigged, grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory, and generally created an untenable situation like Eberflus.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE – All of the Patriots coaching decisions.
So…did any of us think that Jerod Mayo was a real thing? You go from the greatest coach of all time to…Jerod Mayo? A fairly good linebacker in his time, but was he really ready to lead a team…and a pretty lousy one at that? OF COURSE HE WASN’T! So the Patriots just wasted everybody’s time, fired a guy they shouldn’t have hire din the first place and now and are doing the most insular, old man thing and bringing in more old Petriots coaches/players to try and run back a dynasty. Vrabel’s a fine coach, but….have I ever told you the definition of insanity?
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – The Saints’ Pedophile Cover-Up Scandal
We’re looking at scope here. In an age where the rich are now VERY VISIBLY influencing the world in ways that are pretty abhorrent, we must remember that the rich have been doing this for AWHILE. The scope and implications of this are pretty horrific. The sex scandal stuff with Tucker and Watson, as bad as they are, are small fish compared to helping the Catholic church cover up their pedophile scandal. That’s pretty chaotic in the worst way.
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – Tua with ANOTHER head injury
I don’t like to say “I told you so” in situations like this, but…COME ON!!! The fact that he can’t stop getting his bell rung, and the fact that he seems so incredibly unwilling to do much of anything to stop it. If anything, that makes it MORE chaotic imo.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER (NEW CATEGORY!) – Jets (or the Bengals)
Aaron Rodgers was supposed to fix everything. He was supposed to ascend from heaven as some enlightened being, bringing with him his prophets Lazard and Davante, and lead the Jets to relevance. Yeah….about that…The worst part was the Jets defense actually put up a good fight for most of the season. They still have a lot of good pieces, but Aarodg has even worn them down. And it’s not just that he’s bad, he’s bad in a way that clearly makes it unfun for the team. Even after he gets everything he wants, everything is still everyone else’s fault and now every good player wants out of NY. Aarodg killed the love of the game and brought a team that should be so much better than it is to its knees.
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – Maybe the Titans?
I feel bad because the Titans had a pretty decent defense early in the season, but man…what an absolutely nothing team outside of the aforementioned ass-hattery of Will Levis. Aside from guys like Sweat and Simmons…who is there really to watch on this team that gives you any juice?
I thought I should add my CHoF nominees too!
HoF Player: I really like the chaos of Marshawn Lynch. He used his chaos for good for the most part, and I think that should be celebrated. Truly just a random good dude who would rip off insane TDs and then grab his junk while dropping into the endzone. A guy who created chaos out of his simplicity. “I’m just here so I won’t get fined” echoed like a big “F-U” to media in a way I don’t even really think Lynch intended.
Next year I think Randy Moss and Antonio Brown should be finalists.
HoF Game: 13 seconds. It’s my favorite on the list from a chaos-standpoint simply because of how much that will stick to the Bills’ legacy. No matter what they do. It was also a pretty decent game for what I remember.
HoF Moment: The Fail Mary. It was such an incredible fail and emblematic of the fever-dream that was the “replacement ref era”. I still can’t believe that actually happened and how quickly and publicly it showed ot be a bad idea!
I believe the Jim Marshall backwards run deserves nomination as well.
Some of these have already been said, but regardless:
– Chaotic Player: Sam Darnold. Even the most ardent of Darnold’s supporters (all 3 of you) couldn’t have forseen him stepping into the position, and then not just being *good*, but also being the reason the Vikings won a couple of those games. And then, of course, reverting right back to Sam Darnold in the two biggest games of the year.
– Player, alternate: Joe Burrow. It could be argued he was the actual NFL MVP, since he almost single-handedly kept Cincinnati from being in the bottom 10 teams of the league. Speaking of which:
– Chaotic Team: The Bengals. They went 0-3 to start the season, including losing to the Patriots. They then won 4 of 6, bringing the record to a respectable 4-5. They then lost 3 in a row, and finished off with 5 straight wins, just *barely* missing the playoffs at 9-8. Given that 3 of their losses were by a *total* of 5 points (Chiefs by 1, Ravens by 3, at Ravens by 1), just a single bounce or play could have put them in the playoffs. Again, Burrow was essentially Superman out there, finding ways almost every week to keep the team in contention.
– Chaotic Sequence: The Bears-Commanders 4th quarter, especially the last 10 minutes. The Hail Mary itself was bad and silly enough, especially with Stevenson’s antics contributing to it, but people forget everything leading up to that:
+ The Bears, looking to run in a TD on 3rd-and-goal from the 1, hand the ball off to an offensive lineman who… drops it, Commies recover
+ The Bears later score a TD after a failed 4th-and-3 play turns into a DPI in the end zone, followed by a 2-pt conversion
+ They kick off with 23 seconds left, and then immediately let the Commies get large chunks of ground back in just a couple of plays, mostly because Eberflus decides to change up a defense which has bottled up Daniels all game, and suddenly gave him space to run around and allowed receivers lots of room to catch and get out of bounds
+ Finally, with 2 seconds left, it was *obvious* that the only play left was a Hail Mary (or the lateral-lateral-lateral thing). So, the Bears should have called a TO, set the defense, made sure every single player knew what their role and job was, etc. And instead, they rush 3 and – for some reason – keep a QB spy around. Why? Daniels, even as good as he is, isn’t going to run 50+ yards for a TD, when most of the defense is already near the goal line, ready to tackle him, so you’re literally taking away an extra player either from the rush (which would have helped on that play, given how much time he had to move around) or the goal line pass D. [Seriously, watch the play… there’s a 4th defender standing several yards back from the LoS, who only begins to move at all when he thinks Daniels is about to run]
– Chaotic Front-Office Move: The Giants, for the whole season and off-season. The Saquan stuff, not because they released him (although that arguably was due to FO decisions the previous year or two (paying Danny Dimes, not investing in the O-Line, etc)), but because they then not only allowed Hard Knocks to *record* the decision-making process there, but also, worse, broadcast it. As if everyone watching would sympathize with them and be more understanding. For then subsequently letting Jones go in mid-season, eating the money while also making themselves look even more foolish for the Jones-over-Barkley stuff. For Mara not firing Schoen and Daboll after the season, ensuring that they’re going to be making rash decisions this year (including the draft and free agency) in hopes of keeping their jobs
+ Disappoint Duck: The Jaguars (geez, what the hell happened there) for somehow not even managing to rise above “mediocre”; the Bengals (see above); or player-wise, CJ Stroud (that was a dramatic fall-off from his rookie season; perhaps it was normal sophomore adjustment, but if so, it was much bigger than expected)
+ Chaotic Off-field drama: The Fox broadcast booth. Greg Olsen was suppsoed to get it, but then Tom Brady retired and was put in place instead, and not only was he terrible as a presence in general, but also his conflict-of-interest (part owner of the Raiders) meant that he couldn’t talk as freely about players or decisions or insights as he might have wanted to. And as a reward for that, he got to do the Super Bowl, making people long for Cris Collinsworth
– Unwatchable Team: Hands-down it was the Titans. Even as bad as the Giants were, at least they had some semblance of competitiveness. The Titans were just terrible all-around.
-HOF:
+ Chaos Player: Randall. People who have only seen clips of him don’t realize that he *WAS* the prototype for every “mobile, athletic” QB today. He was Vick, Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, etc. Could throw the ball 30-40 yards, even under pressure. Could make defenders go from “sure sack” to “tackling air” in a blink. Would turn into one of the most insane runners you ever saw. *BUT* because he never was taught different (thank Buddy Ryan, who admitted more than once his instructions to Randall were essentially “go out and do something, and let the defense take care of everything else”; followed by Rich “I hate the passing game” Kotite), he also would make the most bone-head plays and throws, or take off running when he had someone open 20 yards downfield, or put himself in harms way far too often. Regardless, it was rare to watch a game of his and not come away with at least one “WOW!” moment.
+ Chaos Game: As much as I want to do the 28-3 Superbowl, the Bills comeback against the Oilers is still better (including that the Bills were down 35-3). Today, with modern passing offenses, it isn’t quite as a remarkable, but back then, that was considered to be impossible. *ESPECIALLY* since the Bills had to use a backup QB (Frank Reich!) for most of the game. The Oilers had an offense that looked unstoppable, the Bills had trouble doing anything for the first half of the game, but the Oilers offense (even with Warren Moon) had a major weakness – they didn’t know how to burn clock. Thanks to some fluky plays on special teams (including an accidental onside kick recovery), plus the Oiler defense starting to wear down, the Bills essentially came back in the space of about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, even though the Oilers offense was *mostly* moving the ball, they were doing so quickly that there was plenty of time left for Buffalo to finally take the lead. The Oilers had one last drive to tie it with a FG, leading to OT, where the Bills simply marched it down the field and kicked it to win. (This was back in the “sudden death” OT era.) To this date, it remains the single most entertaining playoff game I have ever watched.
+ Chaos Play: Gary Anderson. The Vikings had Randall Cunningham looking like Randall for the first (and unfortunately last) time in years, Rookie Randy Moss who was busy setting records and annoying Joe Buck with endzone celebrations, and a nearly 40-year-old kicker who was absolute money the entire year – 35-for-35 on FGs, 59-for-59 on XPs. The Vikings were at home, in their dome, and that fateful kick was, for him, a chip-shot 38-yarder. The snap was good, the hold was good, he simply missed it. And that let the Falcons (of all teams), coached by Dan Reeves (of all coaches) to win by a kick from the even older Morten Anderson (no relation) from the exact same distance.
– HOF Nominations:
+ Moment: The ending of Rams-Titans, Superbowl 34. Final play, 10-yard-line, perfect pass from Steve McNair to Kevin Dyson at the 5, who turn, ran, and was tackled with his knee *just barely* being down, putting his outstretched arm just inside the 1-yard-line to end it, and give Kurt Warner and “The Greatest Show on Turf” their SB win.
+ Game: The Detroit-Philly snow game, featuring Leshaun McCoy running all over the place and everyone else just trying to stay upright
+ Game: The Fog Bowl, when the Eagles met the Bears in Chicago for a playoff game that ended up getting hit by a freak “Rolling Fog Bank”, which was so thick that it ended up with the players not being to tell who was doing what, the coaches unable to really call plays, and the broadcast booth essentially making up stuff because they had no idea what was going on either
+ Player: Devin Hester. The guy who turned special teams into his own personal highlight reel.
Most Chaotic Player: I agree a lot with the people who nominated Sam Darnold, and It’s hard to think of a better candidate. Darnold was a player I think the entire league wrote off as a bust, suddenly came out of nowhere to have the season of his life after a fluke injury put him in the right place at the right time… only to, in the end, prove he was exactly what we thought he was the entire time.
Chaotic Team: Here, I’d to nominate the 49ers for having one of the more ridiculous seasons in recent memory. Firstly, the Aiyuk nonsense in the preseason, where he blue balled both San Fran and Pittsburgh to try to get the best contract he could… only to basically just get what he was originally offered. And then he sucked anyways. Then they lost their entire fucking team to injuries, Shanahan continued to lose very winnable games in embarrassing fashions, (shout-out to the first Rams game, which stole me winning my survivor pool outright. Had to settle for a tie instead), and in general made everyone question how the fuck is this team once removed from a SB appearance. Honestly, if the 49ers didn’t already have somewhat of a reputation of randomly choking entire seasons away, I think this would easily win this year.
Chaotic Moment: Final play of the Washington-Chicago game, for utterly rewriting the season for both teams and how improbable that hail mary was in the first place. Going from taunting fans straight into blowing a game winning play that led to your team losing every single game but one afterwards. Brutal shit.
Chaotic Game: First Commanders-Cowboys game (the November game). This could have easily also served as my nomination for chaotic moment, but ultimately I think I went with game only because that entire 4th quarter was just stupid. In the last five minutes you had an improbable Commanders come back out of nowhere, multiple astonishing plays, a heart breaking missed PAT that otherwise would have sent the game to OT, and an onside kick that led to a final humiliating touchdown.
Most Chaotic Coach: I don’t have a strong opinion on this one. I’m going to echo the person who said Elberfus I guess because I have no idea what the hell the Bears were trying to do this year.
Most Chaotic Front Office Move: I don’t care this isn’t even football, I could not in good conscience not nominate the Luka trade that happened between the Mavs and Lakers. I don’t even watch Basketball and I was wrapped up intensely in that drama. That’s how suffocating it was in the discourse. Mavs traded away a potential lifer superstar, one that already single handingly dragged their sorry asses to a finals loss the last season, for AD and a single draft pick. Atrocious return for a player that should have gotten a king’s ransom. This is the kind of move that tanks entire franchises; the new Mavs ownership revealed themselves as being absolute fools, Mavs fans held mock funerals for the death of the franchise as it might be a portend to a relocation to Las Vegas… it’s just a complete mess. Nothing in the NFL this year holds a candle to it. Someone had to nominate it
Chaotic Off Field Drama: Butker’s commencement speech. I’m more nominating this so it isn’t forgotten about since it happened very early in the off-season last year, but holy shit, a kicker decided to give a commencement speech about how, among other things, that women should stay in the kitchen and not work. In front of a bunch of women who just worked their asses off to get a degree. In the grand scheme, maybe it doesn’t measure much compared to Tucker or the Saints, but to me, what made it so chaotic was how self-owning it was. Completely unforced controversy that put the effing kicker in the limelight and made him look like a nutter to the entire world.
Chaotic Injury: J.J. McCarthy, for the same reasons I gave Darnold chaotic player of the year. Can’t have Darnold’s historic season without the Vikes’ shiny new QB getting a pre season injury.
Disappointment Duck: I hate to do it since it’s my team, but Pittsburgh. That last five game stretch plus playoff exit was brutal. I even got a Wilson jersey for Christmas this year because at the time I was really all in on the Russ Cookout. And tbf, those games with Russ before he started losing was legitimately the most fun I had in football in a long time, so I don’t even fully regret it, but what the fuck happened there? And now people want to run Fields again? I said last off season I’d rather have a sixth round pick over Fields and while I’ll freely admit to my crow he wasn’t as apocalypticly bad as I first assumed he would be, he still looks like ass. That Wilson season might have been our last chance to compete with Heyward and prime Watt, and we fucking pissed it away. Jesus fucking Christ.
Unwatchable Team: Jets. Everything about the Jets was a dumpster fire this year. Rodgers should have retired after reading his Achilles. He’s not the worst QB in the league admittedly, but he’s cooked in terms of ever being worth the money he demands. The Saleh firing would have been my nomination for off season move if it wasn’t for the Luka trade. The defense was the only thing holding that team together and they were rewarded by being scapegoated. And that nonsense about Brick being a shadow GM needs to be shouted out too even if that’s strictly off field. As a whole, Jets remain the laughingstock of the league, and it’s not close in my head
For HoF picks I’m not going to go into detail, just saying what I vote for.
Player: Brett Favre
Game: Mud Punt
Play: River City Relay plus missed kick
Saleh would have been my nomination for front office, not off season (obviously didn’t happen in the off-season). I brain farted there, sorry
Chaotic Player: George Pickens in all his WWE glory
Chaotic Team: Cincinatti Bengals
Chaotic Moment/Sequence: Commies hail mary vs. Bears
Chaotic Game: Cowboys-Commies week 12
Chaotic Coach: Dan Campbell
Chaotic Front Office Move: The Jags with the Liam Coen/Trent Baalke saga
Chaotic Off-Field Drama: De’Vondre Campbell just deciding not to play vs the Rams
Chaotic Injury: Mahomes tearing Rashee Rice’s ACL
Disappointment Duck: Chicago Bears
Unwatchable Team: New Orleans Saints
HOF Player: Kurt Warner
HOF Game: 13 Seconds
HOF Play: Fail Mary
The Luka trade and everything surrounding it (like the Mavs FO’s comments after the fact) is so dumb that it has to transcend the fact that it’s from a different sport, and get acknowledged here. Even the Cowboys hiring Schottenheimer pales in comparison. It takes something special to make 2020s Jerry Jones look relatively competent!
CHAOTIC PLAYER–Jameis Winston. Another backup Browns QB comes in and just captivates the whole league with random magic and a cinematic rollercoaster playstyle, just without Flacco’s winning.
CHAOTIC TEAM–The Bengals. Besides their generational offense going to absolute waste by continued defensive ineptitude and a triple crown winner + MVP candidate combo missing the playoffs, there was just never a dull moment with them. Losing to the Pats, the late PI against KC, the Daniels duel, two absolute cinema games against Baltimore blown late, a crazy comeback against the Chargers blown in the final series, the Cowboys punt sequence and walkoff TD, and the acid trip of glory that was the Broncos game. Putting up 35+ consistently and losing, they were the epitome of chaos every Sunday.
CHAOTIC MOMENT/SEQUENCE–The Commanders Hail Mary put Jayden Daniels fully on the map–and put the Bears somewhere in Alcatraz for 10 games, where they had their own tour of chaos. Their Thanksgiving sequence deserves a nod of course as part of this lasting spiral
CHAOTIC GAME–This is a solid category this year. Cowboys-Commanders, Broncos-Browns, Colts-Giants, and either of those Ravens-Bengals games would be good. But Broncos-Bengals had heavy implications across the board and delivered late drama, a Bengals defense betrayal again on the Hail Mary, ANOTHER missed field goal in OT, and finally a cap to Tee Higgins going off with the game winner.
CHAOTIC COACH–If it’s not a Dan Campbell repeat, I’ll give the nod to a fellow Dan, Quinn in Washington, for his give zero cares attitude on fourth downs (87% converted btw) and just the team behind him generally causing chaos throughout the league.
CHAOTIC FO MOVE–There weren’t any really interesting hirings or firings, but the offseason moves delivered. From a player standpoint it’s obviously both sides of the Saquon situation, but my pick for something within the season is the entire Liam Coen saga with the Jaguars, and how he snaked his way into getting Trent Baalke fired and earning more. Then Tampa straight up blocks his number like a bad ex. DUuuVAaaALllLLll…
CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA–Justin Tucker stole the limelight in a new way this year.
CHAOTIC INJURY–Of all the players to hand Tua another concussion, the gods decided on Damar Hamlin. This cooked the Dolphins instantly, even him coming back wouldn’t save him.
DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK PLAYER/TEAM–Deebo Samuel and the 49ers. Injuries be damned, this team as a whole just collapsed down the stretch. Even with players out they should have still been at least a threat in the NFC West, not a bottom feeder. The whole team underperformed, and Deebo did it the worst.
MOST UNWATCHABLE–Barring schadenfreude for Rodgers’ downfalll and the Jets’ perpetual failures, there was zero reason to tune in to them after the first 3 weeks where they might have been “back” by beating up on the 1 and 4 teams in the draft order.
CHAOS AWARDS NOMINATIONS
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Kirk Cousins
Signs a massive deal with the Falcons, Falcons draft QB with 8th overall pick anyway. Absolutely annihilates the Bucs defense twice, and has fantastic games against both Cowboys and Eagles. Also throws 4 interceptions against the Chargers, and gets benched for Michael Penix Jr. Overall, having both a 4TD/0Int game and a 0TD/4Int game in the same season is enough for me.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – Cincinnati Bengals
Start the season by losing to the Patriots. Lose to Chiefs by a single point in week 2 (this was before we realized that the Chiefs were going to win all their games by last minute nonsense). Recover from a terrible start to eventually get to 4-5. Proceed to lose 3 straight, (including giving up 44 to the Steelers) effectively eliminating them from playoffs. Then win the final 5 games of the season to miss playoffs anyway. Joe Burrow played like an MVP, but the defense was a disaster.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – Bears lose to Lions on Thanksgiving
I am a Lions fan. This is the only time I can remember that I watched the Lions win, and was not happy. I was simply too overwhelmed by confusion at what I had just watched, that my brain had no space inside for any other emotion. I still don’t understand what happened.
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – Nick Sirianni
Normally when a coach is good, they win games, and fans are happy with them. When a coach is bad, they lose games, and fans are angry with them. I cannot figure out Nick Sirianni. After the Eagles 2023 collapse, Sirianni appeared to be on the hot seat. During the season, he bickered with fans, and Eagles fans asked for him to be fired. The Eagles still won the division. However, Sirianni appeared to still be on the hot seat going into the playoffs, and continued to be on it until the Super Bowl. I have never heard of something like this before. But somehow Nick Sirianni checked both boxes of fans asking for him to be fired and winning a championship in the same season.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE – Jags keep, then fire Trent Baalke
Trent Baalke made some… interesting… decisions as the Jag’s GM. After firing Pederson, the Jags basically made a “we’re not firing this guy, but we want it to be known we don’t really trust him” statement regarding Baalke, which is another… interesting… decision. The Jags interviewed several HC candidates, only to be told that Baalke needed to go. So they fired him, resulting in a weird dance where Liam Coen rejected the head coaching job, got offered an OC job by the Bucs, and then accepted the Jags HC position.
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – Jets Madden Ratings
We’ve always known the Jets were a mess, but I don’t think we realized they were this bad. This is probably the most embarrassing Jets moment since The Buttfumble. I did not have “NFL owner unable to differentiate video game from reality on my 2024 bingo card.”
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – Tua’s Head (again)
The Dolphins were a playoff contender going into this year. They were not after this injury. Also, there was the inevitable media storm after this contemplating whether Tua should retire or not after this. Also, this led to a temporary increase in the use of Guardian Caps, so it wasn’t just the Dolphins affected.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK – Indianapolis Colts
Where to start. Richardson was, as expected, wildly inconsistent to start the season. He eventually gets benched after receiving much criticism for sitting out a play due to being tired. Joe Flacco comes in to rescue the team! Except Flacco is stinky, and Richardson comes back. The Colts are somehow still in the playoff hunt, then lose to the Giants, eliminating themselves. Pat MacAfee goes off on the team publicly. At least most bad teams just are clearly bad, and thus hopes are never acquired. The Colts were a unique bad team that kept showing potential of maybe being a good team.
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – Kansas City Chiefs
Unpopular opinion, but I like the Chiefs. I like Kelce, I like Swift, I like Reid, I like Mahomes. The Chiefs were not fun to watch this year. There was no high flying offence, or even an extremely efficient but non-explosive offence. There were no blowouts. Just the inevitable result, come the end of 4th quarter, the Chiefs would have more points than the opposition. It was never exciting, or fun. It wasn’t even bad football, which would have at least been fun to laugh at. Maybe this is just fatigue, or my expectations were too high.
VOTES FOR CHAOS HOF
Player – Terrell Owens
Game – 28-3
Play – The Helmet Catch
Player: Gotta be either Levis or Jameis. Only guys that that you sought out to watch even though (because?) they were bad.
HOF: Foles. Definitely. do nothing, BALL OUT GET STATUE, do nothing
And for Coach, I think Dan Campbell is no longer chaotic. When you go for it EVERY TIME, it’s kinda predictable
HOF
Player: Big Dick Nick
Game: Nominating the Miracle at the New Meadowlands. The comeback to tie was nuts, but Jackson finishing it off in regulation was the icing.
Play: River City Relay into failure.
Aww shit! I totally meant to vote for Sexy Rexy, but got caught up in the dick train. Can I change that?
Here are my nominations.
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER-Sam Darnold
Trying not to be biased here but Sam Darnold for my beloved Vikings. The story and rise that he has was as insane as his fall in the last two weeks, and as a die-hard fan of the team, it was another emotional rollercoaster of a season like 2022. I went to the game where Kirk Cousins came back to town and Darnold had the best QB performance for us in 20 years. I felt like I was at the top of the world doing those MVP chants. Too bad he fell off like he did, part of that was our O-line and I hope he gets on a good team next year.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM-Commies
Commanders. One of the wildest single-season turnarounds in NFL history, led by their brand-new QB of the future. Hope for big success for them moving forward.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE-Hail Mary
Building off the last pick, the Hail Mary. The sheer insanity of that throw, Tyrique Stevenson mocking the fans before tipping the ball up, and the fallout the Bears had after this moment. I was so mad that I napped through this. Easy choice here.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME-Week 9 TNF Ravens Bengals
This one is tough because there weren’t any classic insane games this year but here are some ideas: Both of the Bengals Ravens games, Opening Night Chiefs Ravens, Mark Andrews game, Kirk throwing for 500 against the Bucs, and any other crazy Chiefs finish. Picking one it would be Bengals Ravens Week 9 TNF. Big game for Chase but the defense and failed 2PC at the end cost them.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE- Saleh firing
Either the Jets kicking Saleh to the curb for how the Jets got worse or the Saquon signing for how it affected both teams. You could probably move the Saquon one into a new category like “most chaotic free agent signing.”
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA-Cheifs national hate
The worldwide hate for the Chiefs and the conspiracies around it getting insane. As the NFL gets more popular year by year it seems the level of this shit goes to crazy amounts and it is ruining the integrity of enjoying the game in my opinion.
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY-Entire Lions Defense
I think this is cheating, but the entire list of Lions’ defensive injuries deserves this. The sheer amount and how well Gleen and Campbell were able to work around it until it all fell apart in the playoffs is worth enough in my opinion.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER-Cowboys
The sheer insanity of how ass they turned out to be, also fuck “America’s Team.”
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM-Giants
We all know the answer to this. I visited my grandparents in NY back in October and went to Giants-Bengals SNF. It was sad but that was on the better side of their losses. Can’t wait to see how Daboll and Schoen make it worse next year.
HOF
SEXY REXY, for the OGs
18-1
Immaculate Reception
Hope one of my nominations makes the cut!
Chaotic player: darnold. that was a roller coaster and a complete plunge into the depths
Chaotic team: the commanders singlehandedly gave me blood pressure problems
Chaotic sequence: last few minutes of cowboys commies part 1
Chaotic game:
Chaotic coach: gonna go with my guy dan quinn on this. love that man
Chaotic front office move: liam coen
Chaotic off field drama: Jets shenanigans part 2!
Chaotic injury: yeah it’s the lions defense just dropping like flies
Disappointment duck: aaron rodgers
Unwatchable team: the giants
HOF: nick foles, giants 18-1
Oh dip forgot the chaotic game
I mostly watched commies this year so i’m gonna nominate NFC DIVISIONAL COMMIES V LIONS
I think my nomination for Most Chaotic Team this year is the referees.
Chaotic all time HOF
Vote player – Sexy Rexy. Still the most often tag despite Grossman having never played in the Draw Play era
Vote Game – Bills-Oilers 92/93 comeback – Basically caused the Oilers to relocate
Vote play – Music City Miracle – doomed Bills to 17-year playoff drought, almost caused so much Buffalo apathy that the Bills & Sabers both almost moved out of Western NY a decade later.
Nominatons for next year
Player – Pete Gogolak; he brought soccer-style kicking to the NFL, and basically caused the merger by jumping from the Bills to the Giants for $$$.
Game – Super Bowl V (Colts-Cowboys 1970/71) – Blooper Bowl
Play – 1987 49ers-Bengals. Bengals fail to run out clock up by 5 with 6 seconds left. 49ers hit TD; Unites Bengals in hatred of Sam Wyche right before 87 strike, leads Wyche to rethink whole philosophy, leads to 88 Bengals v 49ers rematch next year.
Chaotic player: Jordan Love. He ran the gamut from awesome to awful.
Chaotic team: The Bengals. Talking like a top contender while losing 8 games. Missing the playoffs, with that offense, is insane.
Chaotic sequence: The end of Chiefs Raiders, egregious fumbled snap on a potential game-winning drive
Chaotic game: Eagles Commanders Week 16
Chaotic coach: Nick Sirriani. On an amazing team, Nick somehow managed to be the center of attention for his sideline behavior.
Chaotic front office move: Liam Coen
Chaotic off field drama: Aaron Rodgers, as usual
Chaotic injury: JJ McCarthty, launching “Sam Darnold is back!” before “Sam Darnold is whack!”
Disappointment duck: Caleb Williams sky high expectations and an offense full of weapons. Jayden Daniels looked immediately better.
Unwatchable team: Season long plan of playing a backup QB made the offense unwatchable, despite drafting the best offensive weapon. Defense was good enough to make whatever team they were facing not much fun to watch either.
HOF: The uncalled PI in Rams Saints, and subsequent 1-year of making PI reviewable. All year, the refs basically thumbed their nose at the fans. “No, we will not try to fix bad calls, you can’t make us.”
Most Chaotic Player – Will Levis
Most Chaotic Team – Commanders (Hail Mary, cool Terry McLauren Stuff, etc)
Most Chaotic Moment/Sequence – Cooper DeJean pick-6 in the Super Bowl/the Chicago Bears clock management to end the game on Nov 28 against Detroit.
Most Chaotic Game – Cowboys vs Commanders Week 12
Most Chaotic Coach – Dan Quinn
Most Chaotic Front Office Move – Jets not signing Jerry Jeudy, because of his madden rating.
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama – Justin Tucker
Most Chaotic Injury – Deshaun Watsons Achilles
Disappointment Duck – 49ers
Most Unwatchable Team – Saints
HOF Play: John Carney’s missed extra point for the Saints in the River City Relay in 2003. Honorable mention: Josh McCown’s game-winning touchdown pass in 2002 to eliminate Minnesota from the playoffs, with Paul Allen’s heart shattering live on air (“CAUGHT! TOUCHDOoooOOOOWN!! NOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!”)
HOF Game: Miami Miracle 2018
HOF Player: Peyton Hillis
Keeping it short and sweet!
Chaos HOF votes:
Player: Nick Foles (the man called both Big Dick Nick and Saint Nick!)
Game: 18-1 Giants Win
Play: The Minneapolis Miracle
I’ll keep it short and also only nominate for categories I have a strong feeling too. Others already have good lists:
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – Dan Campbell. Love watching the Lions now
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – Tua
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER – Bears and Caleb Williams. He looked so good in the pre-season and start of the season. I wasn’t expecting a Superbowl for Chicago, but I expected them to win more games and look much better.
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – Giants. They killed my love of football this year.
HOF PLAYER – Antonio Brown!
HOF GAME – 2014 NFC Championship game Sea vs GB. Epic comeback from Seattle. Those final few minutes of game time were insane.
I wonder where Jim Tyrer fits.
Player: Anthony Richardson, who burnt out a lot of the goodwill he earned from the few games he played in 2023 with his inconsistent play and weird off-the-field behavior this season.
Team: The Chiefs, who never looked particularly convincing in any of their wins, somehow managed to get to the Super Bowl with a mediocre offense, and then proceeded to get blown out.
Moment: The ending of the Broncos-Chiefs game where the Chiefs stopped a field goal to win the game. It basically felt like the Broncos had that game in the pocket.
Game: Commanders-Lions divisional round. It’s probably not the most chaotic game of the season but absolutely no one thought the Commanders would beat the Lions, though in retrospect it makes sense because of all the Lions’ injuries (not to take away from Jayden Daniels’ incredible rookie season).
Coach: Matt Eberflus, who finally got canned due to his poor clock management skills
Front Office Move: You can pretty much count the whole season for the Jets, but I’d go for the trade for Davante Adams. It wasn’t the worst decision the Jets made during 2024 but it was a pretty desperate move for a team whose season was already in the gutter.
Off-the-Field Drama: The Saints doing PR control for the Catholic Church.
Injury: Tua’s concussion. I thought the Dolphins would win the division this year thanks to the Bills losing pretty much all their receivers.
Disappointment Duck: The Steelers, though this isn’t too surprising since they’ve been like this for almost a decade. They looked good for the first half of the season only to predictably fall apart at the end.
Unwatchable Team: The Raiders. The Giants at least had some good plays from Malik Naber and Will Levis was (unintentionally) fun to watch. There was pretty much nothing enjoyable about the Raiders this year.
HOF Player: Nick Foles, for winning a Super Bowl and then immediately falling down to Earth after leaving the Eagles. When I visited Philly a couple of years ago for a Giants playoff game, there was a ton of people wearing Foles’ jerseys, and he’s probably the most random player to have a statue.
Game: Pretty recent, but the Jags’ victory over the Chargers in the Wild Card round a few years ago. Trevor Lawrence had some of the ugliest interceptions I’ve seen, yet still managed to win the game.
Play: The Helmet Catch. David Tyree, who basically was a non-factor all season, somehow makes the most miraculous catch in Super Bowl history.
Most Chaotic Front Office Move: The Giants front office appearing on Offseason Hard Knocks. Difficult to think of a bigger self-own than that entire run — especially with the Saquon signing hanging over the team for the Eagles’ entire Super Bowl run.
John Mara: “I’m going to have a tough time sleeping if Saquon goes to Philadelphia.”
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Bryce Young. Gets benched for Andy Dalton after two awful games, looks like he’s on his way to all-time bust status after Dalton makes the offense actually look kind of okay, hilariously gets thrown back in when Dalton himself suffers a Chaos Injury (a car crash…sprained his thumb?!), only to turn into a totally different player who’s actually fairly competent and either keeps games close or outright wins them.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – This has to be the Chiefs. Devil magic made fine art.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – Bears could call a timeout to set up for a game-winning field goal attempt, but that sounds like a lot of work.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – WAS-DAL in November. I feel like there were so many distinct points of nonsense in those final minutes that it’s no longer a “moment or sequence.”
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – This is Campbell’s award to lose for the foreseeable future.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE – Falcons give Kirk a massive contract and immediately draft Penix.
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – Justin Tucker swoops in late to win this one.
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – Can’t be anyone but JJ McCcarthy.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER – The Cowboys. Coming off a surprise division title, they stubbornly refused to be anything other than bland and mediocre regardless of whether they should have been good (early in the season) or a hilarious trainwreck (Dak goes down for the season and they IMPROVE?).
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – The Giants.
HOF PLAYER – Antonio Brown.
HOF Game – 28-3.
HOF Play – River City Relay. Even without the XP miss we’d remember this one forever (that’s basically the Miami Miracle!) but the bad kick, back when XPs were ~99% plays, sends it into the stratosphere of chaos.
Also, an additional nominee for HOF play: The “Lunatic Lateral,” from Pats-Raiders in 2022, where Jakobi Meyers tried to pull a River City Relay/Miami Miracle in the last seconds of a *tie game* and threw the ball straight to a Raiders player who ran it back for a walkoff touchdown.
Football is better when the Cowboys are bad. Shoutout to Mike Zimmer for going nuclear on his old gig as soon as his NDA was up, getting the band back together in Dallas, and then shitting the bed with one of the worst defenses in the league.
I am shocked I had to scroll this far down to find a nomination for the Falcons drafting Penix in what was clearly a meddling owner move. Some might say the fact that it now looks like it might benefit the Falcons disqualifies it, but I think it makes things even more chaotic. They give Cousins a rich contract, there’s plenty of reason to think that he has enough in the tank that in a very weak Division with a marginally better HC than Arthur Smith they could get a fraudulent 4th seed if they just grab a ready to go BPA with their pick. The FO appeared to be leaning that way but got overruled. What was the plan? Were they going to hoard Penix as trade bait after the season (weaker 2025 QB class, expectation of a higher pick this year)? But Cousins ended up being pure ass and eventually got injured, and Penix looked not bad. Who really thinks this was Blank being savvy or having a crystal ball?
I will make a case for:
Most Chaotic Game: Texans vs. Lions. Jared Goff threw 5 interceptions and completed only 50% of his passes (and at one point it looked like he may throw more interceptions than completions), and still somehow the Lions came back with a win.
My Nominations:
Most Chaotic Player: Anthony Richardson
Most Chaotic Team: Houston Texans
Most Chaotic Moment: Commanders Hail Mary against the Bears
Most Chaotic Game: Commanders vs Eagles, week 16
Most Chaotic Coach: Dan Quinn
Most Chaotic Front Office Move: Cowboys hiring Brian Schottenheimer
Most Chaotic Off-Season Drama: Justin Tucker
Most Chaotic Injury: Dak Prescott
Disappointment Duck: 49ers
Most Unwatchable Team: Giants
HOF Play: Immaculate Reception
HOF Game: 18-1
HOF Player: Nick Foles
Most Chaotic Player: Saquon Barkley, who almost single handedly made RBs relevant in the NFL again.
Most Chaotic Team: Bengals. Poor Joe Burrow having to turn into prime John Elway in every game to pull them out of the hole dug by their defense.
Most Chaotic Moment: Matt Eberflus not calling the time out, throwing poor Caleb under the bus and then doing his best Baghdad Bob impression at the press conference the day before getting shitcanned.
Most Chaotic Game: Rams-Eagles NFC Divisional game.
Most Chaotic Coach: Dan Campbell
Most Chaotic Front Office Move: Jerry Jones not signing Derrick Henry despite saying he’s going all in, wasting a 4th round pick to trade for Jonathan Mingo, and holding off on extending CeeDee and Dak, costing him millions in cap when their contract value went up.
Most Chaotic Off-Season Drama: Harrison Butker going full troglodyte and karma hitting him in the face like a train by not getting one snap in the Super Bowl.
Most Chaotic Injury: JJ McCarthy
Disappointment Duck: Cardinals
Most Unwatchable Team: Chiefs. Jesus fuck not since the Pats has a team made success so boring and uninspiring.
HOF Play: The Fumble. Surely the Browns aren’t going to choke in the AFCCG to the Broncos again, right? Right?
HOF Game: 13 seconds. Made The Drive look pedestrian.
HOF Player: John Matuzsak, great DE, wildman, played Sloth in the Goonies then died of a drug overdose before hitting 40. Can’t think of a more fitting mascot for the Al Davis Raiders.
Chaos HOF:
Player: has to be Kurt Warner, NFL Europe, bagging groceries, MVP, injuries and interceptions, mediocre on the Giants and revitalizing the Cardinals of all teams. One of the coolest stories in football.
Game: Monday Night Miracle. This game was crazy to watch live and I remember nearly turning the game off.
Play: the immaculate reception. The odds of this happening are so slim and was a deciding factor in the Steelers being team of the 70’s over the Raiders. The tuck rule deserve mention as it also cost the Raiders.
The Beastquake is honestly a great case for game and play. The Beastquake itself was a monument of a run, and the Saints losing to the Hawks that year was choice.
/Go Hawks!
I mean most Chaotic Player is the only one I want to vote on here and its a toss up. Sam Darnold for winning 14 games with the Vikings, but also looking like “Seeing Ghosts” Sam Darnold in those 3 regular season losses and the playoffs loss.
Or
Jameis Winston. Because Jameisball is chaos in its purest form It’s always 6 TD or 6 INT and sometimes both.
Imma go Darnold because its a whole season thing.
Most Chaotic Player – George Pickens. AB might have been a more chaotic piece of nonsense, but you could watch his descent into an insane mess. Pickens seemed like he’d have himself more-or-less together and then casually facemask the other team. I literally didn’t know what he was going to do from moment to moment. Was he going to make an insane catch? Was he going to make an insane catch and then somehow not get his foot down despite it being really easy? Watching him was really like watching pure distilled unpredictable chaos?
Most Chaotic Team – Bengals. What a weird team. I’ve never seen a team seem so harmless and so potent at the same time. Yes, you could say they had a bad defense and Joe Burrow and his ridiculous weapons were keeping that team together, but the experience of watching the Bengals play was very strange. I never quite knew what I was watching and I never knew what was going to happen next.
Most Chaotic Moment/Sequence – Commanders Hail Mary. I think it’s a wild moment and it also marked the crash and burn of the Bears’ season and the rise of the Commies as a team to actually get excited about and root for. I saw it live and it was unbelievable!
Most Chaotic Game – Either the Week 13 game between the Raiders and the Chiefs where the Raiders fumbled for no reason the moment they got into field goal range. Or the Week 10 game between the Chiefs and the Broncos where the Chiefs won on the blocked field goal. That was when it seemed like the Chiefs had made some kind of dark pact to win their games because their opponents just pulled the wackiest nonsense to lose the game for no reason.
Most Chaotic Coach – Nick Siriani. He goes from arguing with fans to winning a super bowl. Does he know anything about what he’s doing or is he Doug Peterson 2.0 where he lucked into an amazingly talented team that even mediocre coaching couldn’t thwart?
Most Chaotic Front Office Move – The Davante Adams trade to the Jets. Two old men imagining they could still play at the level they did years ago. It was a nonsense move made by a nonsense team to appease a nonsense Aaron Rodgers. Maybe it’s not pure chaos, but it was very funny… it was so predictably “Jets” that it spun all the way around to being chaotically on-the-nose.
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama – Jerry Jones doing absolutely nothing in the offseason to improve the Cowboys and then watching the absolute clown show that was the Cowboys’ season this year. Maybe it’s too predictable to be chaotic, but it’s like the Jets: It’s so on-the-nose, it seems surreal. The common wisdom is Jerry Jones is a greedy egotistical old man who ruins the Cowboys year after year with his terrible decisions, but this year he REALLY messed up in a comically obvious way.
Most Chaotic Injury – Hutch’s injury for the Lions. I think they win the Super Bowl if their defense wasn’t in tatters, Hutch being the most significant loss there. There’s only so much Dan Campbell grit. You can’t replace talent and ability with pure heart.
Disappointment Duck – Jets. The Jets are permanently the Disappointment Duck until further notice.
Most Unwatchable Team – The Browns. There was just nothing fun about that team made all the more unwatchable by the allegations against Watson.
– Hall of fame picks:
Player: Terrell Owens
Game: 18-1 Giants defeat the “perfect” Patriots
Play: Immaculate Reception
So, my nomination for HOF play is the 1989 Vikings @ Rams. Its gone all the way to overtime, and the Rams have a fourth and long in their own territory. Mike Merryweather attempts to punt but its blocked, leading to a messy scramble in the endzone that results in the ball bouncing its way out of said endzone. Thus causing the first of the very few game winning safeties in NFL history.
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Kirk Cousins. He went from making everyone mock Atlanta for drafting Penix to mocking them for signing him to his big deal over the course of the season.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – The Commanders for all of their wild game endings
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – The Chiefs doinking in the game winning field goal to cement their voodoo magic
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – Bengals vs Ravens. Three passing TD’s of 65+ yards. 34 points scored in the final quarter of the game, ending with the Bengals failing a 2 pt conversion instead of tying the game.
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – Nick Sirianni maybe, for getting into it with fans?
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE – Jerry Jones bailing on pursuing Derrick Henry to reunite with Ezekiel Elliott instead
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – It feels unfair to give it to the Rodgers/Jets debacle again since it’s almost a ringer, but I think the Oct-Nov stretch of them firing HC Saleh, trading for Davante Adams based on Rodgers’ demands, going 3-8 into their bye week to all but guarantee missing the playoffs again, and firing GM Joe Douglas was just a master class in implosions. Rodgers never topped Zach Wilson’s single season best of 5 wins as a starting QB in NY.
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – JJ McCarthy, because it locked in Sam Darnold as the Vikings starter.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER (NEW CATEGORY!) – The Dolphins, because they crumbled again and had no juice when Tua got hurt, as he does. So much for the rise of Miami during the Bills’ supposed rebuild year.
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – The Titans.
Most Chaotic Player: Bryce Young; looked like utter garbage, was benched for a few weeks, got starting role due to injury, and looked like a completely different player
Most Chaotic Team: Ravens
Most Chaotic Coach: Dan Campbell
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama: Kraft’s self-fellating “The Dynasty” series in an unsuccessful attempt to get himself into the Pro Football Hall of Fame
Most Unwatchable Team: The Giants. They weren’t even entertainingly bad. They were just putrid.
Chaotic Player: Will Levis
Chaotic Team: Bengals
Chaotic Moment/Sequence: Commies/Cowboys McLaurin TD/missed XP/Onside Kick TD OR Jayden Daniels Hail Mary vs Bears (no shot this gets wins but I wanna highlight the game sealing fumble in the Bucs/Cowboys game)
Chaotic Game: Lions/Texans
Chaotic Coach: Aaron Rodgers (let’s be real he was the real HC after Saleh. Speaking of which:)
Chaotic Front Office Move: Firing Robert Saleh
Chaotic Off-Field Drama: all the kickers
Chaotic Injury: Rashee Rice (in terms of how he got injured) OR Christian McCaffrey (in terms of effect on team and surprise announcement)
Disappointment: Kirko Chainz
Unwatchable: Jaguars
HOF Votes:
Player: Michael Vick
Game: Mac Jones 3 pass attempt victory vs Buffalo
Play: River City Relay
Nah we need Pollard the patriot killer in the Hall.
MOST CHAOTIC PLAYER – Sam Darnold.
MOST CHAOTIC TEAM – The Commanders.
MOST CHAOTIC MOMENT OR SEQUENCE – Chiefs blocking the field goal to beat the Broncos.
MOST CHAOTIC GAME – Lions vs Texans. 5 turnovers and the lions still won.
MOST CHAOTIC COACH – Dan Campbell because the award was made for him.
MOST CHAOTIC FRONT OFFICE MOVE – Jets Jerry Jeudy madden thing.
MOST CHAOTIC OFF-FIELD DRAMA – The New York Jets saga. It was glorious.
MOST CHAOTIC INJURY – JJ McCarthy. 1st round pick? More like Darnold’s bag boy woooooooooooah.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK TEAM OR PLAYER – The 49ers, because they fell apart again in a year that was supposed to be a revenge year.
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM – The saints after week 2.
Most Chaotic Player: Jameis Winston. Like you say it’s a shame he is a sex-pest because you take that out he has the perfect balance of fun and stupid chaos. He throws for ubers of yards, has the most backbreaking picks, and says the silliest things on a pressbox. Not to mention he gave a pulse to one of the most inept offenses while Deshaun Watson was at the helm. Truly generational chaos.
Most Chaotic Team: Steelers. Bit of a weird choice but yo go into the season expecting freaking Russel Wilson to start only for him to get injured so Fields gets to start. Go a respectable 4-2 (one of the losses being the 1:00 A.M game) with some people feeling like he could be the answer. Bench him to go back to Wilson, gaining much ire and skepticism around the leauge. Win 6 of 7 to make playoffs (the one loss being the chaotic “snowglobe game”), with people treating them like a genius and could mayge go deep in the playoffs. An then…lose the last 4 to end in familiar Wildcard defeat. Add in George Pickens doing the Steeler WR controversy routine in good measure. Yeah we may know how the story usually ends for them, but it’s about the journey, and this was a wild one for them.
Most Chaotic Moment: Giants 2-point conversion against the steelers (another reason for above nomination). This was just stupid for the funniest reasons. A stupid formation combine with stupid blocking and stupid mis communication. And what’s even stupider is that they still could have won the gameafterwards. Just a chaotic moment all around.
Most Chaotic Game: Bengal-Patriots, Week 1. Week 1 is a week of chaos because we don’t know what’s true or not. And this one was the highlight of it. The Bungles bungled so many oppertunities in that game and who knew that it would have huge ramifications for them in terms of making the playoffs. It could also be a reason why the Pats are picking 4th instead of top 3, possibly even 1, not that they need to now that the found their guy. But you could probably get a package deal if they did. To me, there are enough What-ifs this game brings up so I put it own as most chaotic.
Most Chaotic Coach: John Harbaugh. I…really don’t have much for this one. I just think Harbaugh is such a unique character, and having himself back in the NFL nees to be celebrated on some level. Will forever love dum phrases as “The worm has turned”
Most Chaotic Front Office Move: The Luka trade (lol). But actually I just want to give it to the Jets as a whole. The Aaron Rodgers circus, the Hasan Reddick holdout firing the Coach in the early part of the season, bringing in Devantae Adams, firing the GM, and the Woody Johnson controversy. Any one of their moments could qualify, so I feel it should be taken as a whole.
Most Chaotic injury: JJ MCCarthy. The Sam Darnold linsanity run doesn’t happen if JJ isn’t sacraficed to the football gods for one year.
Dissapointment Duck:Can I say the Ravens? Does anyone care if they have a good regular season? They can’t get it done in the playoffs, they bring in Derreck Henry who has a great season, only to not use him when needed. Justin Tucker is washed and might not have a job soon. The wasted potential just makes me mad.
Most Unwatchable Team: Giants. Don’t think I have to explain that one.
HOF Awards: Michael Vick, the Mud Punt game, and Wide Right
Most Chaotic Player: Will Levis for doing the stupidest shit like every single game
Most Chaotic Team: The Chiefs for their dark magic bullshit
Most Chaotic Moment: Commies Hail Mary 100%. Already a chaotic play but the Bears DB riling up the crowd and then being the player who tipped it up? Absolute pure chaos.
Most Chaotic Game: Cowboys vs Commies. Just a reminder the game was 3-3 at halftime. It ended 34-26.
Most Chaotic Coach: Matt Eburflus. Do I have to say more?
Most Chaotic Front Office Move: The Falcons drafting Penix. Why on earth are you drafting a QB when you just paid one a shit-ton of money?
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama: Justin Tugger.
Most Chaotic Injury: Deshaun Watson getting his just desserts
Biggest Disappointment Duck: Deebo Samuel. I have no clue what happened to him, it’s honestly sad how bad he played this year. Every time he ran a route, he looked like that one Druski gif. You know the one. (https://tenor.com/view/druski-running-routes-wide-reciever-gif-13380137379011835170)
Most Unwatchable Team: The Giants. This team looked like it was abandoned by god. I’m so sorry for the season you had to watch Dave.
Chaos HOF Player: THE ONE, THE ONLY, SEXY REXY
Chaos HOF Game: 28-3. This game needs no explanation.
Chaos HOF Play: The River City Relay and miss. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
**Picks Include Mine and my Brothers**
Most Chaotic Player: Sam Darnold, QB Minnesota Vikings
& Saquon Barkley, RB Philadelphia Eagles
Most Chaotic Team: New York Jets
& San Francisco 49ers
Most Chaotic Moment: Game Winning Hail Mary, Chicago Bears @ Washington Commanders (Week 8)
& 4th Quarter, Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Commanders (Week 12)
Most Chaotic Game: New England Patriots @ Cincinnati Bengals (Week 1)
& Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (Week 18)
Most Chaotic Coach: Dan Quinn
& Matt Eberflus
Most Chaotic Front Office Move: Everything the New York Jets did this season
& Saquon Barkley to the Philadelphia Eagles
Most Chaotic Off-Field Drama: Justin Tucker outed as a Perv
& Aaron Rodgers Coup d’états the Jets’ Front Office
Most Chaotic Injury: J.J. McCarthy, QB Minnesota Vikings
& Aidan Hutchinson, DE Detroit Lions
Biggest Disappointment Duck: Green Bay Packers
& Los Angeles Chargers
Most Unwatchable Team: Kansas City Chiefs
& New Orleans Saints
~~HOF PICKS~~
Player: Ryan Fitzpatrick
& Marshawn Lynch
Game: Mud Punt Game
& “13 Seconds”
Play: River City Relay
& River City Relay
Player: Brandon Stephens
Team: Either Bengals, Chiefs, Seahawks (just because), or Commanders
Moment: Hail Mary JD5
Game: DAL-WAS
Coach: Eberfloss or Sirianni
Front Office Move: Jonathan Mingo trade (or luka if nba counts)
Off-field drama: The Election (I dont care)
Injury: Watsons 2nd one
Disappointment in the Game of Life: Dorian Thompson-Robinson
Unwatchable Team: Browns
HOF Player: Bernard Pollard
HOF Game: 13 seconds
HOF Play: Malcolm Butler
Probably too late now, but here are my picks the Bengals could win.
Chaotic Team – Bengals: So damn close so many times. So terrible all season while racking up stats.
Disappointment Duck – see above
Chaotic Play – Bengals shank a punt so bad it causes the Cowboys to touch it after a weird bounce. Bengals get ball again & score on the next play with a 70-yard TD to win the game.
Cowboys players leave field before game is over.
This was also the Simpsons ‘live’ broadcast, and the punter that started it all had won special teams player of the week earlier in the season and was leading the league in punt yards, Ryan Reikhow
Chaotic Game – Bengals @ Titans – TEN turnovers
It’s almost 2 am so I can’t really submit nominees for all of these, but my favorite Chaotic Front Office Move was the Saints waiting until after seven straight losses including the “Cottonelle Doo-Doo Bowl” (thank you Khalen Saunders) to fire the human Ambien that dragged everyone down and apologized to Arthur Smith for winning, and then promoting the New York version to Yosemite Sam who began his brietf tenure by clogging a shitter in the locker room and then absolutely spanking the Falcons with some wild tricks and possible goalpost voodoo.
version *of. *Brief. Sorry, the words are microscopic on a phone.