The Calvin Johnson Rule
I will admit I was laughing my butt off when the Cowboys lost the call and in one second I realized that after a week of smug Dallas fans telling Lions fans to “get over it” that we were going to get a whole week of Dallas fans doing exactly what they mocked Detroit for doing, yelling about the refs. The situations are slightly different and that’s what most of them will say, but really, it’s just complaining about the refs and the rules and oh man those tears are so delicious.
What seems funny to me is that both Dallas and Detroit have legitimate complaints. The refs in the wildcard were garbage and Detroit got a some bad no-calls in critical points (yes, Dallas got a few as well). Now Dallas gets screwed over by a terrible rule, the famed Calvin Johnson rule. It’s been around for 5 years now and every once in a while we get a play like this and we all get mad. I don’t like the rule, but I don’t think it’s as easy to fix as you’d think. A lot of plays get called incomplete that nobody has a problem with because it’s pretty clear most of the time when a player hits the ground and loses the ball. There will always be a little bit of ambiguity on some plays, just the nature of the sport. I think it should always come down to a matter of possession and control. There are certain things players do with the ball that indicate definite control and possession. Switching the ball between hands. Extending the ball. Tucks it. You can’t do these things if you don’t have control, and if you ask me, if a player catches a ball and is able to do one of these things, as well as get two feet down it should count as possession. Dez Bryant switched the ball between hands, I think he should have been down. You show this to anyone who doesn’t know the rule and they think it’s a catch. It’s hard to argue Dez didn’t catch that ball except by dumb technicalities.
But Dallas lost, so I’m happy. I have no idea who to root for now.
I hate Indianapolis because I was born in the Baltimore area and trained to loathe the Colts and the Irsays for skipping town
I hate the Seahawks because they won it just last year and their fanbase unironically calls themselves 12s.
I hate the Packers..I can’t really say why. I’m just sick of them. Smug cheeseheads who think they are so special, so many bandwagon fans who litter the country who have never even lived or visited Wisconsin
I hate the Patriots because they are evil
But the weird part, is that the team with the longest Super Bowl win drought is…New England. If I have to hate every team, I might go full satan and root for pure evil. Go Pats. I want to watch the world burn.
Feel free to root for the Colts. I’m about 15 minutes past the MD-PA border, and most Ravens fans I know have forgiven the Colts by now. Irsay no, but the Colts yes.
Personally I’m hopping back on the Seahawks bandwagon. I was on it last year because a buddy of mine from work is a Hawks fan, and now there’s the added perk that since another buddy of mine from college was a Cowboys fan, we can hop on together.
Also while I love the comic, can we please kill the “drinking tears” stuff? It seems to have exploded in its usage the last two or three years, and I hate it. Do y’all know how disgusting the concept of drinking someone’s tears is? That stuff’s basically less acidic eye sweat with added mucus for eye lubrication.
I dunno, that sounds plenty tasty to me…
@theclarificator Do you live in the Pennsylvania side or in the Maryland side?
True Packers fans know we are lucky (or blessed if you believe in such things). Though, yeah, too many are too young to remember the lean years.
Yeah. Still wishing I was able to remember Favre’s contributions more vividly though. Guess that’s what we have films for.
I’ve never met a smug packers fan, but plenty of respectful ones, so I don’t know where the hate comes from. Rodgers seems like a down to earth guy, although I don’t yet know enough about this whole Olivia Munn thing…
I can’t really get the baltimore butthurt over the colts, especially considering that Baltimore is guilty of the same thing. Art Modell was the biggest fucking hypocrite in football, being heavily against the Colts leaving Baltimore saying no team should abandon their home city like that, then turning around and stealing the Browns from Clevelans.
The seahawks, I hope they don’t repeat, but thankfully I’m separated from that by flyover country. Wouldn’t be the end of the world if they did.
The team I don’t want sniffing the super bowl is the patriots, at least while Tom Brady is still on the roster. He has this whole legend surrounding him that he doesn’t deserve. People give Eli shit all the time despite winning two rings, saying that Strahan, Tuck, Osi, and JPP carried him there. Yet Brady is given a free pass despite the likes of Bruschi, Seymour, and Law giving him his rings. My ideal situation would be the Pats win a ring the year after Brady either retires or is on another team. If it wasn’t for those damn Dolphins, the Patriots could have shown the world they didn’t need Brady when Matt freaking Cassel went 11-5 with that team.
The Wisco bred ones I’ve met haven’t been so bad. It’s the ones with no ties, that just started to follow a team which has dome very well I’m recent years that get a little arrogant and annoying
The Wisco bred ones I’ve met haven’t been so bad. It’s the ones with no ties, that just started to follow a team which has dome very well I’m recent years that get a little arrogant and annoying
The Wisco bred ones I’ve met haven’t been so bad. It’s the ones with no ties, that just started to follow a team which has dome very well I’m recent years that get a little arrogant and annoying
Sorry, trying to reply via the whole Facebook inception programming didn’t work out so hot and decided you needed 3 of the same thing from me.
I’m with Toady up there, for the most part. Granted I only know one or two GB fans but they’re pretty nice folk, not smug at all. I’m not a fan of the team but I have respect for them – “I’m a homer for excellence” as Colin Cowherd once said. And I think people need to get over the whole Baltimore/Indy thing – as pointed out they just turned and did the same thing to Cleveland, and it’s not as if bitching about it is going to achieve anything. Two cities have football teams and one has a “football team”, now move on.
…says the guy who’s only been a fan 5 years and doesn’t even live in America.
I disagree on the Patriots thing. Manning gets shit for being carried to Superbowls because… well, it’s true. When I watch him play I don’t see an elite-level QB who elevates his team, I see a bit of a goober who gives him team a chance but needs help. With Brady… and as a Broncos fan I hate to have to say this because I’m sick of the road to the AFC having to go through the Pats inevitably at some point in the playoffs… I DO see an elite QB, one of the best of all time, who elevates the team around him. I have huge respect for Brady & Belichick, when you look past the whole spygate thing (which was one freaking thing and let’s be honest, you’re naive if you believe they were the only ones doing it). But yeah, I can’t bring myself to root for them for the aforementioned “being sick of them being so damn good” thing. So much for being a homer for excellence…
Though in a twisted conclusion I AM hoping for a Packers/Patriots Superbowl.
I won’t go so far as to put Eli fully into that bracket. But there’s your Brees, Brady, and Peyton class (with guys like Ben, Romo, and Eli making guest appearances)… and then there’s Aaron Rodgers, who is better than Brady and Peyton ever were.
I’m not even talking about Spygate (and you’ll notice I didn’t even bring that up in my previous comment). Whatever they did or did not do regarding cameras had no influence on my argument. However, Bill Belichick has been the absolute mastermind behind that team. As a coach, he basically invents new schemes to maximize the effectiveness of each player (the scheme he used on defense against the Bills in super bowl XXV, the two TE set with Gronk and Hernandez, and so forth). As a GM, he knows when to sign players and when to release them. He’ll find potential in an underutilized player, trade away some supposedly big piece that he feels is going to decline, and keeps the roster fresh. I wouldn’t say he’s got a 100% record in his trades and deals (see: Chad Ochostinko), but for the most part he keeps talent flowing through the roster and doesn’t keep veterans that have declined out of loyalty. I think Brady knows this too, as he keeps lowering his own salary, supposedly to sign talent to other positions, but I think the real reason is because he knows what Belichick sees as his dollar value. I wouldn’t be surprised in a couple years’ time to see Brady unceremoniously kicked to the curb, with the Patriots team barely skipping a beat.
I know you didn’t mention it; I just figured it was inevitable someone would (perhaps I’ve been spending too long in the company of a colleague who likes to trot out such tired trite as “Bellicheat” every 5 minutes) and wanted to head them off.
What people never seem to acknowledge is the game the night before.
Earl Thomas intercepted Can Newton’s pass not too long before halftime and then the refs decided to look over it again. It was called back for the exact same reason. So when I saw Dez make that catch, I already kknew it would be incomplete.
Typos suck. *Cam, #Knew.
Enough of this Super Bowl talk.
There’s bigger news. BETTER news. The BEST NEWS POSSIBLE.
John Fox was fired. Forget tears– I’ve had to down 5 gallons of water just to replace the liquid I’ve lost in absolute and utter ecstasy. Denver losing was the best anniversary present EVER… y’know, after the Mrs. herself.
Seriously: if you can get Kubiak in, or even just keep Gase, kick Del Rio to the curb and bring in someone who understands how a secondary works, and drop Manning down to 25-40 passes per game from 35-55, he’ll be fresh for the post season, and Denver will be a more well rounded team. It’s a formula with decades of history.
DING. DONG. THE FOX IS DEAD.
I almost want to get rid of Manning at this point. I wanted to toss something at the screen every time he missed a deep bomb on third and short. At some point his stardom went to his head and now he isn’t willing to step back and let Anderson win games.
As another note, bringing in Kubiak would be a /terrible/ idea. I’ve lived in Houston long enough to know that what Kubiak brought to the table for the Texans was exactly what Fox was doing for the Broncos: a conservative approach and an inability to adjust when you can’t simply out-talent the opponent.
Oh, I watched Kubiak super hard. I loved me some Kubes, and rooted hard for the Texans until they fired him. And here’s the thing: Kubiak never had the offense Denver has to work with, but he grew up with Shanny and Elway. He was sneaky aggressive in his playcalling in Denver as the OC, the team Denver has right now reminds me so much of that– less mobile in Manning than Elway (even at 38), but Manning is the better student.
Kubiak is /conservative/, but he’s not necessarily /predictable/. John Fox isn’t just conservative: you know exactly what’s going to happen on every play. There were so many times where an onside kick was the right call (because it was unexpected, but could seize momentum or not cost anything because the defense was seivelike, anyway), but he never did it. He LOVES him some 26-yard field goals; Kubes went for them more frequently by orders of magnitude than Fox does. Kubiak’s conservative; Fox is cowardly. And I think it’d be almost impossible to find a head coach more in tune with Elway and his plans than Kubiak. The Texans primary problem was A) Schaub is the best QB you’ve had… ever? And B) Massive injuries in the post season.
Kube’s no game-changer on an NFL scale, but he can bring to Denver what Denver needs.
You sound like a Giants fan, prior to their ditching of Kevin Gilbride.
Welcome to the dark side Dave, You’ll be in charge of getting the orphan to sacrifice.
CALLED IT. Bug-eyed Dez. EXACTLY what I was after in this comic.
And the Big Gulp of Dallas Tears is sexier than any Sexy Rexy.
MY COWBOYS, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ah, well. We had a great run that no one expected out of us. The best thing that happened to us was that we were finally consistent. The game plan finally expanded beyond “Romo, go out there and do something,” so we finally stopped having such huge win/loss swings. Not having a heart attack each game wondering which Cowboys would show up has done a lot for stress relief in DFW. The biggest shame, though, is that they have finally built a team around Romo when he doesn’t have many years left in him. He needs to get a ring in the next couple years or it’s never going to happen. But if Dallas plays like it has been this year, then hopefully the idiotic “Romo chokesLOL” talks will die down. He had a good game Sunday and, other than hold the ball on a bit too long (he’s been able to make plays doing that, so you take the good with the bad on that tendency), he didn’t have any major foul-ups. And that pass and catch to Dez was just a thing of beauty.
The major play of the game that I think really turned the tide was the Murray fumble. That was just… heartbreaking because it came out of nowhere, didn’t seem like a hard hit, was just well-placed, and there was nothing but field in front of Murray. Instead, Packers score 3 off that turnover so that’s at least a 9-point swing we could’ve had. The Cowboys were strong up until that point and that definitely shifted the momentum. Damn good play from both teams. No regrets.
Come on, you know you wanna root for the Seahawks. They are the funnest to watch!
Yes Dave, join us, come to the dark side… Search your feelings, you know it to be true! ;P
As a Tampa Bay fan…let’s talk about Bert Emanuel in 1999.
I agree, it seems strange that, of the four teams left, the Patriots have longest title drought.
No, no, no. I don’t want the Pats to tie the Giants for the amount of Super Bowl wins.
I want to see a Colts-Packers Super Bowl. I can tolerate the Packers and their players, not as much for the Seahawks and I fully loathe the Patriots.
If you want to say you think it should be a catch, I can get on board with that. But to act like it’s just so obvious is where I’m hopping off the train. At first, I thought it looked like a good catch, but on replay it looked to me like he was juggling the ball when he got his feet down, and didn’t start to gain possession until he was going to the ground, at which point he must maintain possession as he hits the ground, which he clearly didn’t. By rule, clearly the right call, and frankly I don’t see what’s wrong with the rule in this instance.
I don’t think, “Well, it seems to most people like a catch” is the best way to make a ruling on it.
Frankly, if the same sequence had happened during a routine cross over the middle (juggling possession until going to the ground, losing control upon hitting the ground), nobody would be arguing. The fact that it would have been such an incredible catch and at such a crucial moment is making people lose their objectivity.
There’s a part of me that wants to see a Rodgers vs. Luck showdown in the Super Bowl. I had them both on my fantasy team, and they ended up being the 2 best quarterbacks this year from a fantasy standpoint.
Also, I want to see the Seahawks burn in the depths of Tartarus. May Cthulhu show no mercy on their bandwagon.
NEWS FLASH: 9 of 10 scientists agree if a Cowboys fan calls you a hater, it means you won the argument.
Or you’re just a hater.
If you’ve ever been to Lambeau Field you’ll find that Packers fans are actually extremely nice and not smug at all. I don’t live in Wisconsin, but pretty much every fan I’ve met has lived there at some point.
I wasn’t talking about Green Bay locals, I specifically mentioned the bandwagoners who never lived or visited Wisconsin yet act like they are part of that society. Those are the smug ones.
I’m an abnormality in that I’m a Lions fan who doesn’t really hate the Packers. I’m jealous of the luck they’ve had in getting consistent fantastic results under Center but hey, it happens. I think the Wisconsin Packers fans are a fine bunch. Their success is bound to attract a bandwagon and there’s just no use in wishing losses on a team because of a bandwagon. The trick to being a bandwagon fan is your team doesn’t lose. So no big deal. Also not as much excitement when your team wins because they’re not really your team and you’re a subhuman cave mutant.
That said, as a Lions fan, I said the best case scenario is for the Cowboys to win or lose on the back of a controversial call (felt amazing, btw) and then for the Patriots to win it all because then nobody’s happy. Except Pats fans and they’d probably be about as happy as I’d be if my team won a playoff game. So nobody wins and I get to watch this postseason burn out of spite.
I hate Indianapolis because I was born in the Baltimore area and trained to loathe the Colts and the Irsays for skipping town
1. That happened in like 1983. Isn’t it time to move on?
2. That happened in fucking 1983. They’ve been in Indy longer than they’ve been in Baltimore
3. That happened in fucking 198fucking3 dude. How can yous till be mad at them for that?
Fuck it. I’m mad at the Lions for leaving Portsmouth. Don’t care if it happened in 1934, DETROIT STOLE IT AWAY FROM US PORTSMOUTHERS
The Baltimore Colts leaving broke my Mom’s heart. She is a bitter Colts fan and refuses to support the Ravens because she remembers how it hurt to see the Colts leave. Also, when I learned this information, it was the early 90’s and Baltimore was still hurting. The Colts leaving was a big goddamn deal for the city. The Browns have been in existence since 99, yet they are all still incredibly bitter. When a team means that much to a town, the town remembers.
Comparing it to something that happened before WWII and before football was really important is disingenuous
Sorry for not knowing this but we’re you even born yet dave
Gonna totally agree with Dave. Let’s be honest: fandom is arbitrary. None of us has an impact on our team, but we like to feel like we are part of it, and a lot of that sentiment goes the other way: we dislike teams for slights– real and imagined– days, weeks, months, years, decades ago. Why? Because it’s /fun/. It’s rewarding to hate a team, and have it lose. It’s even rewarding to hate a team and have them /win/, because now you get to hate all their smug fans bragging about their crappy team winning something. And of all the reasons to hate a team, abandoning a city is, after division rivalry, the best. Seriously, it’s an awesome reason to hate a team, because even fans of the team in the new city can’t really defend it. Oh, man. It’s awesome.
Fandom is hate without actual hate as much as it is love without actual influence.
As a Patriots fan that last sentence was literally the greatest phrase ever sums up perfectly exspecially coming from a Giants fan
Man, I only know a handful of Packers fans (all either from Wisconsin or grew up defying their Chicago-loving parents), but they are all smug and sore winners/losers. Rodgers seems like a class act, but the fans I know drive me nuts.
I’m rooting for the Colts. Pats may have gone the longest without a Superbowl victory, but Luck is the only remaining quarterback without one.
I’m pulling for the Colts, but then again, I would honestly love to see Brady get torn to shreds by the Seahawks defense.
Well, I am a Packers fan (okay, they have been pushed back to substitute favorite team later on) without ever having been closer to Wisconsin than watching the Niagara Falls. But there’s many things that can make you a fan of some team. In Europe (and here I’m talking soccer of course) there is a well known Norwegian supporters scene for obscure Scottish third division side Stenhousmuir for a variety of very contrived coincidences.
In my case, my first exposure (I am German) to football was the Commodore Amiga game “TV Sports Football” shich I got as a present. The teams were only named for their cities (“New Jersey” as the Jets’ name to avoid ambiguity, and back then I wondered why they were called “NYJ” and New York “NYG”) due to lack of licensing. And I never heard of two of them – Green Bay and Tampa Bay. And they were the two worst teams in the game. And I liked playing underdogs. So it was between them I had to decide whom to play, and Green is my favorite color. When I had access to real results, I could not only fill in the gaps in my knowledge but also always find “my” Green Bay where I knew they would be, rock bottom. For the playoffs back then I had to go with San Francisco, it being the only city I’ve visited.
But to make Dave happy, I switched allegiance in 93 when I was in the US another time and visited New Orleans, a city I really liked. So at least I have been there.
Oh, and when GB finally made it, I was even happy for NE to reach the suber bowl, too – they were not really that good the years I followed football – back then. Happier times…