The Brief And Unsatisfying Taste Of Preseason Is Back
Aug02
on August 2, 2019
at 12:01 am
The Hall of Fame game is like not eating for 6 months, going to McDonalds, ordering a large fry, getting a single, soggy fry, and it falls on the floor before you get to eat it.
And you’re still gonna eat it because you’re a filthy, filthy addict who needs that fry. So pick it up and stuff it in your hole you disgusting pig. This is what you deserve.
Raise your hand if you watched the game last night.
*Raises hand*
It has now been 18 months since I’ve watched a football game, and yet you keep me coming back, sir.
Why such a long break?
There’s a lot that goes into it for me, but the two main reasons are an absolute and complete loathing of Roger Baddell and the directions he’s lead the league, and just ditching cable and being unwilling to pay the NFL’s prices to watch it without cable. Baddell might be the worst commissioner a professional league has had in American history, and he is without question the worst commissioner the NFL has had. He has abused his the fan base, he’s abused the players, and while I hold no ill will for making money, his approach has not been to make a better product, but to milk the fans for every last penny they’ll give him– a style of business practice I utterly despise on an ethical level.
This last Super Bowl didn’t interest me, and for the first time since 1983, I missed it.
The first year I cut back, I felt a bit weird. But this last year… didn’t miss it at all. And liked the time I got back with the kids and Mrs.
Nah, two CFL games on BT Sport. Winnipeg-Toronto and Hamilton-Saskatchewan.
Hell, I’m a Miami fan, I’ve almost forgotten what a 4th Down is anyway…
I ignored the first quarter, then put it on in the background while I did other things. From the brief snippets I saw, I got the sense that the only thing worse than the defense in that game was the offense.
Quick question: what’s worse for y’all, July or August? Because for me July is when the cravings hit (blame the end of hockey season), but August is preseason ball, which is almost worse in its sloppiness.
ALSO: those ads where the NFL tells you you can get all 65 preseason games if you sign up for their product: WHO DOES THAT CONVINCE? Who wants to watch the entire preseason? I suspect even the scouts whose job it is to scour those videos for people who got cut but could be useful on a practice squad or something–I don’t think they really wanna do that. Who’s the person out there who hears “watch 65 preseason games” and is like “oh boy, all the preseason games!”
(I also wonder what kind of person makes a bet on a preseason game, because Vegas did have a line for this game.)
how’re you gonna win arguments about “who won the preseason” if you don’t watch
EVERY
SINGLE
SNAP
OF
EVERY
SINGLE
GAME?
Fuckin exactly
July is infinitely worse. August has some thing happening even if they are disappointing
I watched until the redzone clusterfuck that was the second TD. At that point I realized anybody capable of making an NFL team was already done for the night.
Gah! Is it that time already? Man the year has flown. Prediction for the season: Panthers-Chargers Superbowl. Now that Cam Newton’s arm is attached to a ligament or two he’ll be able to throw further than 20 yards and Panthers win it all against ringless Rivers. Anybody who ever questions his commitment or effort again is now dumb.
Secondary prediction: Saints-Jags Superbowl. Saints tied at 35 lose on an xp block and score with time running out on the clock. Nick Foles finally gets the monkey off his back beating the only QB he’s ever lost to in the playoffs. Saints suffer 3rd heartbreak in 3 years and Brees retires.
This did not age well… Only Rivers is left in your two superbowl duals… wow… crazy year so far.
Wow. I’ve been following Giants camp news, and I was on nfl.com multiple times yesterday… and I still had no idea they were playing a game last night, or that the preseason was even starting this weekend. Does that make me a horrible fan? A bad calendar watcher? Or do I need to get extreme and start cutting people out of my life? I’m just going to do what I usually do and blame it all on my needy 4 year old. XD
you should def cut that needy greedy four year old out of your life.
It’s like I think it and you say it
I didn’t watch. I chose to watch the Indians find that sweet spot where “guy who hasn’t pitched in two years,” “integrating two new batters into the lineup,” and “manager is out sick for the day” all intersect with “playing the best team in the AL and going up against their best pitcher other than the one who has a weakness against the Indians.”
So anyways, Hall of Fame Game! Processed Football-Like Sport Product*
*Product not guaranteed to contain more than 1% actual football.
I watched the entire thing.
I’m an addict, and this was my relapse.
I forgot it was happening. Sounds like I didn’t miss much.
We got to see someone challenge an interference call! It was paradigm shifting! It was EPIC!!!1!
Ok, maybe not.
Seen worse pre-season games, to be honest.
I did not watch football but I did play FOOSBALL.
people don’t drink the [preseason] because they’re thirsty
they drink the [preseason] because they don’t know the difference
I don’t care if it’s preseason, Raiders are 4-0, baby.
Still one of the best NFL Network commercials ever:
https://youtu.be/nr7x0U8gDfY
Are you doing another comic for Antonio Brown regarding him being absent on training camp?