Sleepless Sherman In Seattle
There was a story that broke two(?) weeks ago that suggested the Seahawks were shopping Richard Sherman. Kinda odd. Then some info came out that Sherman himself initiated the talks. Also odd. I don’t think anyone took it seriously because what? Sherman and Seattle go together like Pete Carroll and Bubblegum. Sherman wouldn’t really work anywhere else. Seattle is the perfect city and the perfect culture to properly accept Richard Sherman’s particular brand of drama. The intellectual smarty pants who is informed, “woke”, and also arrogant and kind of obnoxious about it is like young liberalism 101, aka Seattle and most of the PNW. I should know, I live in the PNW, and you read these blog posts, it’s all truth (weeps softly into scarf).
But seriously imagine Richard Sherman doing most of what he does on like…Houston. Or Buffalo. New England. Man that would be a fun storm wouldn’t it? At least in Seattle it kind of fits the team and Carroll’s best friend everybody have fun style.
I doubt anyone took it seriously because it was probably a negotiation move by his agent. Maybe Sherms wants an extension and decided to throw the Hawks under the public bus for being “dumb” or “stupid” to let him go, drive up his price. I like to imagine it’s more petty and fun then that. Pete Carroll ordered pizza for the team, and ate the last piece of the Pepperoni, Sherman’s favorite, without offering it first. Actually Sherms doesn’t seem like a straight pepperoni guy. He strikes me as the kind of dick who’d eat one of those vegan topping pizzas with artichokes and asparagus and pretend it satisfies him when everyone knows he secretly wanted the sausage one.
I hope he stays a Seahawk. He fits there. Despite finding him kind of irritating I mostly enjoy his piss-takes of the NFL and such. He is a smart dude and Seattle lets him speak some truths and maybe help inform some folks. Keep being you, Sherms. Can I call you Sherms? Too late.
Also yes before anyone says anything the first panel misspelling was an intentional pun. I thought about spelling it correctly, but thought it would make the pun too subtle, and puns are best when they are smacking your victims in the face as you laugh at your own dumb joke.
Here’s to hoping Sherman can land in Miami (but he won’t)
I didn’t know Pete Carroll was like Tito of the Indians with the bubble gum
Lol Sherman in New England, that would never work
They said the same thing about Moss
A punny-named “fancy” barber shop that only serves football players making well above the nation’s median household income but charges less for a haircut than Fantastic Sams? I like it.
Seattle’s probably the perfect city for Sherman, but surely he could do what he does in places like Minnesota, Santa Clara, and Oak-Vegas. Probably Jacksonville too, because the national media dreads talking about the Jags even when there is good reason to.
Can you imagine Sherman going to the Jets? One comment and the NYC media would lose their minds?
IMHO, one of the better cases of “small, quirky guy who worked well in a small/friendly media market going badly in a different, bigger city” was (Hockey example warning) John Tortorella going to the Rangers after being in Tampa Bay.
“lose their minds.”, not “lose their minds?”. Insert Heath Ledger-Joker image here
Other ideas that were rejected:
The Legion of Bloom: flower shop
The Legion of Tomb: funeral home
The Legion of Zoom: photo shop
The Legion of Loom: weaving mill
The Legion of Tomb Funeral Home. I love it.
Legion of Tune: piano repair
Legion of Dune: SciFi book shop
Legion of Vroom: Car dealership
Legion of Gloom: Goth club
The Legion of Broom: cleaning service
The Legion of Plume: maker of fine feathered hats
The Legion of Womb: OB-GYN
“Legion of Womb” may be the best most inappropriate name for an OB-GYN clinic since “Dr. Felterznatch”
I’m a bit disappointed that we don’t have an Eli cartoon celebrating his clever scamming of the rubes!
I wouldn’t be surprised if Brady is among his victims.
I bet he’ll get to that.
It helps that Brady was a two time victim.
Said this on another comment section, but there really isn’t much to the story yet, so I’m waiting for more info or a serious dead period
I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns into another Paul Priore type thing. After his lawsuit got dismissed, he wrote a book which took him bunch of years to get it published (hmm, I wonder why other than credibility issues) and it got some publicity for about a week, afterward it died down. So it is possible the latter might happen, that’s my guess.
Just hope we won’t have to expect “Abused by the New York Giants” comes out claiming that Mara funds the Illuminati or something.
The Legion of Coons?
Nah, it won’t work, I mean who wants to buy raccoon pelts anyway?
Sooo, will bucs fan return tomorrow to get knocked up hard
Not sorrt
Legion of Boom: Canned bean factory
Legion of Moo: Dairy farm
Legion of Noon: Luncheonette
Legion of Poon: Brothel
Legion of Rooms(to Go): NFL-themed furniture store
Legion of Runes: Role-playing game shop
Please learn the difference between ‘then’ and ‘than,’ Dave.
Legion of ‘Fume: Fragrance store
Legion of Flume: Log ride
Legion of Goom(ba): Italian restaurant
Legion of Legume…?
(I’ll stop now….)
“Fragrance store.” Is that what kids are calling it these days?