Sam Bradford Works His Butt
There was a silly little story that came out this week about Sam Bradford’s butt. Some random personal trainer has analyzed Sam Bradford’s posterior and has determined that his glutes are shameful. The personal trainer believes that the butt is an essential part of any QB’s ability. There is more to throwing than just your arm, good throwing mechanics use your whole body, feet and up. It’s an…interesting theory. Certainly the butt plays a part in a throw, helping keep the core level and firm. A taught, powerful buttocks may just be what Sam Bradford needs to take the Eagles to the next level. He has spent two seasons healing his knee, it’s quite possible he was skimping on his squats, or even entire leg days. Never skip leg day.
Lets have a gander at it, shall we?
I dunno. It’s certainly not your best butt. Not a lotta junk to the trunk and the legs are pretty thin. Maybe there is some credibility to the derriere theroem. Bradford could certainly use a better tight end right now. Some more evidence supporting the stronger butt/stronger throw theory: Peyton Manning’s current tuchus:
Look at that. It’s barely even there. We call that Chicken Nugget butt, where it’s just a gross lumpy butt with a tiny little crease at the bottom. Sir Mix-a-lot would be appalled. Right now receivers don’t want none because Peyton’s got no buns hon. PeyPey don’t got back. Know what quarterback is also a big old fart but still slings it like a man? That’s right, check out this rear:
Look at the curve on that sucker. This is why Tom Brady is still winning championships and Peyton Manning is only winning endorsements. To have a QB make the back shoulder throw you gotta have a QB with the Back Side. Quarterback? That’s a full back. An ass of champions. Tom Brady has two killer tight ends, Gronk and his own. Admire it, gentlemen, this is true beauty. All the greats had killer glutes. Example:
Huh, you know what? That thing has folds in all the wrong spots. Nevermind, theory debunked.
The Eagles have more problems than Bradford’s butt. Maybe Demarco Murray’s butt?
Greatest football comic ever
BUTTS LOL
You could argue that since that Favre picture was late in his career that maybe he lost some butt. Perhaps the during his Packers years he couldn’t find pants that fit.
Well, he definitely wouldn’t have had problems finding pants that fit on the front side.
…Unless they were Wranglers, right? RIGHT?!
Favre clearly has a funslinging butt, the folds just go wherever they feel like and the magic happens.
Is that a White Goodman poster in the background?
So that’s why skinny legs Peyton manning is so bad
I really don’t want to ask how long you searched at pictures of quarterbacks butts to find those.
To be fair, there actually is some credence to the theory that butts = good quarterbacking when you think about how a quarterback throws the football.
Most of the power behind a good throw with proper form and followthrough comes from the lower body. It’s why you’ll almost always see quarterbacks with scrawny arms(Look up that glorious photo of Eli, or Rodgers at the beach, or most other quarterbacks who don’t run that much. They’re not chicken wings, but especially by NFL standards, they’re not that much more than “in-shape guy arms with not much fat”) but solid abs and lower bodies. A good throwing motion generates the zip and power behind the ball from the transfer of weight between feet and the twist of the body as the quarterback releases the ball. If your legs are more powerful and more toned, they’ll be able to twist and step with more power and more speed, meaning a better, faster ball. This includes the glutes, since they’re pretty important for fast, accurate movement from the legs.
Now in practice, it doesn’t always work that way. Not all butts are created equal, and muscle builds in different ways on different people, so one guy may be more powerful than another but look much scrawnier. On top of that, in something as chaotic as the NFL, passes rarely get off as cleanly as you’d like, meaning the logic of an ideal throwing motion’s weight transfer and muscle usage doesn’t completely apply most of the time. A good butt is like good arm strength: It helps the QB do their job and throw the ball well, but it’s meaningless if they can’t play the position well, and not that important in the grand scheme of things once it’s above “adequate.” So while Bradford’s lackluster keister probably is part of why he can’t get a ton of drive and zip on the ball in the Eagles games I’ve watched, it has much more to do with poor decisionmaking and a disappointing supporting cast than the size of his ass.
tl;dr your quarterback’s butt is like your SO’s butt. If they’ve got one, then rad, that’s a good thing and it’ll probably make you happy. But it’s useless if they don’t know how to use it, and even if they don’t have a good butt, if they know how to adapt to the situation and make the best of what they were born with, you’re in for a better time than some big-butt goon who doesn’t know what they’re doing.
Butts more important for tight ends, if today’s events are any indication.
The Patriots have two killer tight ends? Wording Dave…
NEVER FORGET THE DOUBLER CHEEKER DIME.
-YOU CANNOT LOSE GAMES IN THE NFL AND STILL WIN.
love the white goodman poster in the background
Y’know who had a great butt? Brett Favre. That thing could launch a football 50 yards in the air with no arms. Clearly the photo that was used doesn’t capture the full essence.
This comic should be brought to you by the fine people at Archer, FX. Why? …because…
Mulato Butts! oontz, oontz, oontz!!!
Congrats. You got me to stare at mens buts for 2 minutes.