Ryan Tannehill Goes Down
Dolphins with one of the first major injuries of the preseason! Who had money on the Phins? Congrats, you’re a winner. Ryan Tannehill might be dead.
Tannehill was scrambling at practice and appeared to jam his left knee up towards the end of his run. Now he’s dead. His knee has been left in a state of perpetual limbo where nobody knows if he needs season ending surgery or not. It’s just like Ryan Tannehill himself! A QB in a perpetual state of limbo because nobody knows if he is truly good or not.
Even if Tannys isn’t great he’s still the best option for the Phins which puts Miami in a butt of a situation before the season starts. Now perpetual dolphins backup Matt Moore is back in action! Good ol’ Matt Moore. He’s like that bumbling sidekick in action movies that occasionally does the right thing and means well but mostly just sort of pointlessly exists for comic relief.
Immediately I heard rumors of Kaep and even Jay Cutler getting picked up. I don’t see either happening. Too many people still hate Kaep even though he might be a decent fit in the run heavy offense, and Jay Cutler is kind of a giant mystery. Matt Moore knows the score. Matt will save the Dolphins. Matt will get those 7 wins, I believe in him.
I eagerly look forward to the next 4 weeks to see what other team gets debilitating injuries and tanks the season before the season even starts. My money is on the Chargers, but they usually don’t start dying there until the season begins. But maybe it’ll be different in Los Angeles! We don’t know. Maybe the Buccaneers, because nobody is looking at them. They have promise, they have Ryan Fitzpatrick…I think the Bucs are going to randomly die.
hey dave thoughts on HOF game heard it beat out Stanley Cup finals in ratings hilarious
Ha! Ha! Ha! That’s awesome! I knew the draft is more popular than the World Series, but I hadn’t heard about the HOF game beating the Stanley Cup!
That is so depressing 🙁
Matt Moore is still a thing that exists? I didn’t realize he and Chad Henne are different people.
I sure hope the Cutler thing pans out in some way and we get Don’t Care Bear with a dolphin mask smoking for a comic or two, might be fantastically funny. Might be more probable than we think since Cutler seems to be chummy with Adam Gase and he apparently had his best stats of his career when Gase was his OC. Some news outlets are already reporting that they’ve already reached a deal for $13 million for the season, provided that Tannehill is truly and unequivocally dead for the whole season.
It’s more probable than Kaep I think, since Kaep had the idiocy to speak favorably of Fidel Castro when he was last in Miami so a ton of people in the city hate his guts. I think he’ll start to get legitimate death threats if the Dolphins hire him, and he likely knows that as well.
Chargers’ deaths have already begun, they’ve already lost their top two rookies for the season it seems. Remains to be seen that trend will hold up.
And while it would be painful to watch, it would sure be hilarious if Fitz works his magic yet again so that Winston dies and he gets the starting job for the year.
Man, I loved Kaep as a person until he became his girlfriend’s mouthpiece. Back when he was original and himself. Praising Castro at all is one of the finest indicators that you’ve got no freaking clue.
Also: Tannehill going down is just Fitzpatrick’s black Fitzmagic striking a little bit off target. It’s going to happen.
I’m waiting for him to praise ISIS, any bets? I’m putting 20 on the table.
I remember when he was discussed as a possible Ravens qb. Then his gf tweeted out a pick comparing the owner and Ray Lewis to a slave and his master. Hope the idiot never gets another job in his life.
The Chargers have already lost their first two draft picks to injury this year …
Cue a Ravens fan coming on and saying they lost Flacco and half their starters already in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
Yeah, I’ve been hearing it from my buddy. Maybe they’ll pick up Kaep now.
Love the avatar BTW
Flacco’s just dented, not dead yet.
Wait ’til we play the Browns. Then Flacco will die, because opposing players seem to drop dead whenever Gregg Williams (*spit*) is on an opposing sideline.
I don’t see how that’s a problem. Garrett can drop Ben week 1 and Flacco week 2. It’d make for a good start to his career.
It’s nice to see that other teams have their own version of Bernard Pollard.
It’s not official, but it looks like they are in talks with Cutler.
I hope that’s true because I think that Cutler is still a top 15 qb on par with or better than Tannehill.
Matt Moore will keep us from suckling for same just like he kept us from sucking for luck
*sucking for sam (even though Josh Allen is probably better)
If we get the first overall pick because Tanny went down we’re sticking with him. Anyway if Tanny really is dead I hope we get Don’t Care Bear as our starter and he does well while the Bears have quarterback trouble all season.
Arena wk 17: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w4-ka5A7Fhw
17.5/playoff matchups: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S_iu_T2PcyI
The Chargers have already begun storing bodies in the morgue.
As someone who has watched their quarterback die, untouched, in preseason practice, I have nothing but empathy for Dolphins fans. This sucks.
Dave… Why say our name? Why pick the Bucs at the end? There’s no reason to hurt poor Buccaneers fans just as we are getting excited. Also, I thought we were getting national attention due to Hard Knocks… Is America substantially less excited than I am?
Dude, nobody outside the featured team’s fanbase gets excited about Hard Knocks. It’s nothing personal. I wish the Bucs well. But Hard Knocks is dumb.
Hard knocks is fun if you’re in that teams division but if you’re not, couldn’t give a fuck. The Bucs will come crashing down like they always do when they seem to get “good” Jameis will eventually fuck up.
Well… If cutler DOES sign, you can go back to making don’t care-bear comics
This is to true
BREAKING NEWS: IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, HE’S BACK.
Jay Cutler signs 1-year-deal with Miami worth $10 million.
Well, guess this comic’s getting a sequel on Tuesday.
Also, Don’t Care Bear’s finally headed to the AFC East, just like we all thought months ago. Only that instead of a (lazily-painted)Jet, he’s now a (badly-masked)Dolphin.
As a pats fan this gets me rock fuckin harrrd. Cutler in my division? Football gods be praised!
Does he need a new nickname now? Don’t Care Dolphin doesn’t have quite the same ring to it
Don’t ph’in Care
Don’t forget that, instead of the Bears getting some form of draft pick for Cutler going to an AFC East team, they get absolutely nothing.
You know…I don’t think Ryan Pace is very good at wheeling-and-dealing with trades….
Nothing worse than injury and there’s no worse injury than one to the QB in practice.
JAY CUTLER —- HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh lord. Can’t wait for more Don’t Care Bear Memes.
For whatever reason, I’m glad I might see Don’t Care Bear comics again.
You know now that Cutler has signed to replace him, you have to do another Dolphins cartoon next, breaking the unwritten law that is “Nobody shall be interested in the Dolphins for more than a few hours a month”
“Fins Up” spelled backwards is “Pu Snif”.
You’re welcome.
With all these injuries, may it be time to bring back the IR Bar?