Russ The Steeler
For the past half-decade, the Steelers have had a very distinct identity. Good defense, ground out 9 win seasons, and an unwatchable offense. Looks like 2024 will adhere to that philosophy.
To the surprise of no one, Russ is a Steeler. For a one-year vet minimum contract Russ gets to go stink it up in Pittsburgh as they inexplicably go over 500 while looking like the worst franchise in the league whenever they have the ball. It’s pretty much impossible to outright condemn this move, to be honest. Because of how NFL contracts work, the Broncos were liable for whatever the Steelers did not pay Russ this season. That means whatever Pittsburgh pays, the Broncos pay the rest, until it adds up to the guaranteed money Russ was due. That’s why Russ took such a cheap deal. He’s getting paid the same amount either way, and now, the Steelers can get a veteran QB who might not be washed at the lowest rental rate possible and go hog wild with their money elseware.
It makes sense for the Steelers for several reasons. One, cheap! Two, Kenny Pickett is bad, and Russ is probably an upgrade! Three, and here’s the big one, the Steelers are not in a position to draft one of the better prospects. Down there in the 20’s they sit, unlikely to grab anyone without severe question marks, just like they did with Pickett two years ago. With Russ starting the offense gets a bit of a boost (Russ wasn’t quite as terrible last year) in an Arthur Smith offense that hopefully won’t require too much of him. There is potential to recharge the career here for one last boost. This draft has WR depth too, so hopefully the Steelers can pick somebody up or just continue making stars out of nobodies like they for some reason have the ability to do.
Russ is a corny weirdo and frankly he will delight the old school yinzer fans who eat Steelers historical legacy up. “We got ourselves a genuinely great member of the community who just loves Jesus and doesn’t curse or do bad things? Love that for us.” Russ will likely not be that great. He fell off a cliff and everyone figured out his limitations in Denver. The defense will help cover some of his failures and he won’t always be a pile of shit, but does anyone actually believe that it’ll work this time?
Maybe the Steelers will wear the bumblebee uniforms this year and I can draw Russ as a to-scale bumblebee.
Gol durnit! The Stillers are my #2 team and I can’t freakin’ stand Jimmy Rustle. I don’t want to have to cheer for him running around in the backfield like a jackass for 15 seconds before tossing a ball up for a first down by way of PI.
This is such a Steelers move and I absolutely hate it. It makes sense for everyone involved but it’s not going to work out for Pittsburgh the way their older fans are hoping. Everyone’s so focused on him being better than the garbage duo of Trubisky/Pickett that they’re ignoring the more important question of whether he’ll be that much of an improvement over Mason Rudolph.
There is so much potential in the past few days, Dave should be good until the Draft.
Fre qb BIIIIIIITCCCHH but honestly I think both have a shot at the job because Russ has been… not great recently
I just want to applaud the attention to detail with the fries in the sandwhich! Well played.
“Maybe the Steelers will wear the bumblebee uniforms this year and I can draw Russ as a to-scale bumblebee.”
Oh, please please please, Pittsburgh. This needs to happen!
My thoughts as soon as I read that, too.
Steelers Nation let’s Bzzzzzzz.
“Good defense, ground out 9 win seasons, and an unwatchable offense.”
Reminds me of what he had for much of the 1990s. You know the QBs the Giants had were bad when the best of the bunch before 2004 draft was Kerry Collins, a star of the United Way commercial where he somehow did not overthrow that bread.
Gimme Smelter
Forge Ahead
We Smelt it, We Dealt it
…and because Alcoa is in Pittsburgh as well, maybe Russ can be “Mr Aluminum”
that last one made me lol
A wise man once said
Stillers… ghanta… Sooper… Boewl…
There’s enough FA material for the entire month
Please tell me you intend to make a comic about Aaron Rodgers potentially running for vice president. This has dominated the jokes in my friend group since the news dropped
Bit premature with the Russell Wilson comic I’d say.
You forgot the word balloon tails in the first panel and tenth panel.