Rooting for the Meteor Only Worked Once
One of those common jokes you hear from people whenever two teams they don’t like are playing each other is “rooting for the meteor”.
So far, the meteor has a horrible track record. It showed up once in the clutch for mammals millions of years ago and that’s about it. We need to stop rooting for the meteor. If the meteor even does show up it’ll likely cause all kinds of problems. We need to start rooting for more sensible and practical ways to end a game with both teams losing. Options like:
-Root for Bane
-Root for the large sinkhole
-Root for the tornado
-Root for the alien abduction
-Root for spontaneous player combustion
-Root for lightning
-Root for the ball ending up being a bomb
-Root for the dune sandworm
-Root for the unexpected plane crash. We almost got this one once!
-Root for the Killdozer to show up
-Root for the nerve gas attack
-Root for the Brown Note
-Root for spiked Gatorade that gets everybody sick
-Root for stadium structural failure
-Root for both teams to become friends and refuse to fight
-Root for acid rain
-Root for the big squid from the end of the original watchmen comic
-Root for the suitcase nuke
-Root for everyone to suddenly become naked, a state of being it is hard to play football in
-Root for a dragon to show up. Any dragon. Pick your favorite. I choose Volvagia from Ocarina of Time
-Root for the solar flare
-Root for the uprising of the skeleton army
Discussion (35) ¬
Is rooting for a Damar on the table or is it still too soon?
out of all the Guls he was the least bad
I wouldn’t mind having a kanar with Damar.
hehehe, that rhymes.
22.3 years have to pass before that
See, this is why I checked. Gotta know the particulars. Now if you don’t mind I’m gonna go crack some 9/11 jokes and poke fun at the Challenger disaster.
I switched this joke to Bane after Rises, but mostly so I could do my spot-on impression. “What a lovely, lovely voice.”
Let’s hope that a war breaks out, resulting in mutually assured destruction, should the Chiefs rematch the 49ers in Super Bowl LIX. “But no one outside the U.S. of A. gives even a slight damn about this dangerous concussory sport.” LOL. The NFL is invading the world. If human extinction does not happen before the next Mahomes–Purdy rematch, the world will be only Chiefs, 49ers, Swifties, and uncontacted persons that the NFL regretted trying to poach.
If HARBOWL happens again (highly unlikely, Jim has been out of the NFL business for several years after Jed York decided to be a silly baby dumbarse, so he could fail), we will live, ’cause life’s a BITCH.
If Browns–Lions Super Bowl happens, then everyone will simultaneously die from the illegality of this matchup and accuse the NFL of jumping the shark.
What if an awesome Super Bowl matchup occurs, but then we are dismayed because an asteroid will kill us before that happens? “Let us enjoy this awesome once-in-a-lifetime moment!” “No.” “YOU’RE A DIIIII-“*asteroid strikes, vaporizing them*
“Nick Foles’s peter can’t be large enough to be rounded by its gravity!” “Oh yeah? Watch this!”*organs get crushed by the rounding into a dwarf planet*
I’m just playing. You know I would never root for the apocalypse because the NFL can be boring to me.
I really don’t think the NFL is as big worldwide as americans think it is. NFL is to europeans like Formula E is to americans. A tier 3 event.
Time and time again you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. You’re a piece of shit and you need to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself.
Oh. I just forgot that other sports existed while I was typing this.
Root for a Strike or Lockout
“Root for stadium structural failure”
So they’ll play games at the Oakland Coliseum (or whatever it’s called now) again?
Or the Metrodome
Or the stadium formerly known as FedEx field
Reminds me a bit of the 2003 MLB League Championship Series where it looked for a while like there was a very good chance of the Red Sox and Cubs facing off in what I nicknamed the “Doomsday Series.” I joked that the universe wouldn’t let either team break their curses and that the meteor would show up on game 1.
Well, the universe found other ways of preventing the “Doomsday Series” from happening that year.
Of course, given that both teams ended up breaking their respective curses since then (without playing each other in the World Series at that), that’s all moot at this point.
It wasn’t the Red Sox, but I was really disappointed in Cubs vs. Indians as a world series. At the time, they had the two longest droughts of any team, and it really felt like it took something away that at least one of them HAD to break out.
One of the few good things about college football conference realignment was that it broke apart (for a time, at least) a pair of heated rival schools that I both hate. Folks would say, “Isn’t it sad they don’t play each other anymore?” and I’d say “No, it’s great. Now they can both go 0-12.”
Volvagia nothing. Trogdor is our only hope.
As a Canucks fan, I’m rooting for the heatwave to melt the ice in Sunrise, Florida for tonight’s Stanley Cup Game 7, therefore making the game unplayable.
-Root for the uprising of the skeleton army
And then Bruce Campbell pops up, says ‘Groovy’, and gets to work.
I think a Cowboys/Seahawks – Chiefs Superbowl may be my biggest fear bowl. Can we root for nuclear winter in the vicinity of the game?
In the regular season I just root for a tie. For some reason I find nothing more hilarious than when a game ends in a tie, regardless of if I hate both teams or not. Something about the confusion and disbelief from the players and the fans always tickles me just right.
Rooting for a spontaneous Pokémon battle to break out. They have plenty of dragons to choose from.
“Root for the big squid from the end of the original watchmen comic”
hell yeah
The Dorktown video on the plane crash is a must-see. It basically argues that nobody knew it at the time, but many lives were saved by making it as lopsided of a blowout as possible, so that everyone left before the plane crashed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alcVZZuj_WE
I was going to link this also. Amazing video!
I tend to root for the nuke
Fun thing about the Watchmen HBO series is that they use the psychic squid attack as cannon for their story. It’s one of the best shows, everyone should watch it!
Rooting for the piping pseudokarst is much fancier than rooting for the large sinkhole.
I’d root for plants getting revenge on humanity.
Didn’t the Dragon already lose a super bowl about 20 years ago
I default to Bane but the brown note is hilarious and I might start incorporating that too
“Root for everyone to suddenly become naked, a state of being it is hard to play football in”
Not with that attitude!
Root for the earthquake. Though if it’s mlb, will only delay the game for a bit