Rich Eisen Wins The Adidas Island Challenge
Rich Eisen is a national treasure and his annual running of the 40 yard dash is a (slow) time honored tradition. I wish they’d let him do it in athletic wear for once, I really think he could shave some time off if he wasn’t wearing a suit. Give the man a chance. I want Rich to run fast enough that he manages to beat an official player’s time, because what a mark of shame would that be for a player to run his official combine slower than a 45 year old sports anchor. How amazing would it be to see one of those Eisen overlay shots with him actually BEATING a player. Of course, then we wouldn’t root for Rich Eisen anymore, because he’d no longer be the underdog.
This year Adidas added a new wrinkle to the NFL Combine. They offered an island, an actual island, to anyone who could break Chris Johnson’s 40 yard dash record of 4.24 seconds while wearing one of their new signature shoes. Washington Wide Receiver John Ross actually did it. He went out and ran a 4.22. Problem is, he wore a Nike shoe. When people saw that Ross actually set a new record, everyone got excited, and Adidas, who probably thought no one was actually going to beat it in the first place, was like “Um…so about that” and now Adidas looks like an asshole and Nike just swooped in and stole the glory, and Ross, for a deal. Adidas, you played yourself.
An island seems like a weird thing to offer a player anyway. Why not just offer a sweet shoe deal? Or a car? A house? Something a little more useful.
Anyway I made this entire comic because I was really proud of the Rich Eisland Pun. Would you go to Rich Eisland? It would be mostly bare (bald, if you will). There would be a tilt-a-whirl called “Spin Center”. There would be a casino where you could win big and go home RICH eisland. The island jail would be called No Fun Land. Everyone has to wear a suit and sponsored sneakers. If you happen to get anything in your eye, don’t worry, just use one of the many Rich Eyestations to clean up that cornea. If you are willing to pay extra there is a pirate boat tour captained by Rich himself called the AY AYsen, Captain. What? you don’t like these puns? I guess beauty is in the Eisen of the beholder.
My favorite president died years before I was born
Dwight D. EISENhower
I know this is 1 comic too late, but TO is clearly an Allen Wranglers (now Texas Revolution) legend from the Indoor Football League, which is where the Arizona Rattlers are this year. Speaking of where the Rattlers were last year…
With 1 month left to go before the start of the 2017 Arena Football League Season, I figure now is as good of a time for a preview, Clint Eastwood style:
The Good: Philadelphia Soul (defending champs, mostly the same roster); Washington (D.C) Valor (loaded as fuck)
The Bad: Cleveland Gladiators (still using Geno Smith the Linebacker at qb)
The Ugly: Tampa Bay Storm (exact same roster from a sub.500 2014 team, but 3 years older); Baltimore Brigade (look up 1899 Cleveland Spiders with the Valor being the St. Louis Cardinals).
For Clarificator, Valor tickets can be bought for about $10 and up a game. Brigade tickets are only $7 and up.
Does Mike Mayock get an apartment on the island?
Supposedly the average time run by Offensive guards is 5.36, it’s not unthinkable that a slower offensive guard might run a 5.5-5.8, who is to say that wearing all the proper running attire Rich couldn’t bring his time down (from typically around 6 seconds) to 5.75 or so?
Speaking of being proud of the Rich Eisland pun, did you mean to draw that anywhere?
Maybe the otherwise blank pink sign in panel 4?
Eisen was close to beating an actual player, one dude ran a 5.8 or 5.9
I believe that Adidas said something about they would buy them an island “as soon as reasonably possible” and the player could opt for $1,000,000 instead. But I believe they not only had to wear Adidas, but had to have signed with Adidas as well. So you couldn’t run in Adidas, break the record and say “Thanks for the island, chumps. Time to sign with Nike.”
Also, remember when a bunch of chuckleheads actually thought Chris Johnson would beat Usain Bolt in a race? Simpler times, friends. Simpler times.
A Lions beat reporter ran a faster 40 than Eisen – in heels.
I loved Eisen on MLB reports. Best use of a Scarface quote ever.
That last one actually made me groan
Great work as always
it’s a scam. lookit the fine print
http://deadspin.com/deadspin-offers-island-and-one-million-dollars-to-first-1792824844
the TL:DR
So even if the athlete wears Adidas cleats, breaks the record, signs the endorsement deal, wins the island, and pays taxes on said island, Adidas can terminate the endorsement agreement “for any reason” and make the athlete give back the island?
It’s scam.