Rich Eisen Should Do More Combine Exercises
I’m bored of watching Rich Eisen run the 40. I know he does it for charity and it raises a lot of great money for a good cause. But he’s clearly more or less never really going to get much better than 6 seconds or so and it isn’t as funny anymore to sync up his dash with the players. We’ve seen it.
So, Mr. Eisen, if you by some miracle read this, I propose taking your Rich Rally to the logical next step. The Rich Eisen Combine. When the combine winds down, you do your annual sprint, but you go even further. Get completely into it. Take the entire journey of an NFL prospect. You can make a full hour special for NFL network with this idea. Let people make bets on your performance at each exercise, and all proceeds go to charity. You should do the entire thing in your full suit or go completely reverse and wear a custom leotard like the players. Does anyone want to see that? Probably not, but it would be hilarious and you could get sponsors on it and make it part of the fun. Also, I want to see it. I’d respect it.
I want to see twitter trending with #AllEyesOnEisenCombine. I want to see the amazing graphics the team will develop for the different segments. I want to see the outrage over your hand size. I want to see the Rich 3 cone drill. I absolutely want to see the broad jump and vertical jump. I bet you’d actually do okay at the bench press, I’m sure you work out in some way to stay in TV shape. You look great, btw, keep doing it the workouts are working for ya.
Best of all, we could get a farcical version of the one thing none of us viewers ever get to see: the interviews. I want team staff members to make cameos and as you increasingly stupid questions that you are not prepared for. Imagine the comedy we could get out of genuine flustered Rich Eisen reactions to Jon Gruden asking him if he puts peanut butter or jelly on the bread first.
I never watch tv anymore, but I would tune in for this. I’d gladly share the clips on social media. In fact, I’ll be your hypeman. If you do this Mr Eisen, please credit me and hire me to make this the hilarious show it deserves to be. Hell, if it proves successful, we could even start getting other analysts on the network involved. Contact ESPN and get Scott van pelt to race you. Stephen A Smith to try and outjump you. Nothing is more charming and humanizing than seeing our favorite TV personalities bumbling around at stuff almost all of us would be bad at.
I just want our lives to be a little bit Richer.
Soon Rich commits top 10 anime betrayal.
You’ve gotta do a thin layer of peanut butter on both slices, then spread the jelly on top of the peanut butter on one of the slices. This keeps the jelly from making the bread soggy. Next question, Chucky.
This. Exactly this. Especially if you are not eating it right away.
I have NEVER watched the combine, but I’d watch that.
If you put both ingredients on one side then peanut butter is the clear answer, since once you put it down it’s set and spreading jelly over it won’t affect it too much, whereas trying to spread peanut butter over jelly will just result in a clump of peanut butter awash in a sea of jelly.
If you put one on each slice of bread and then jam them together, it doesn’t really matter which one you do first, but in that case you put the peanut butter side on top of the jelly side, to prevent the jelly from running.
Both of these assume you clean the knife in between applications.
You missed one all important detail…..what kind of bread do you use?
If you include Stephen A Smith on it, you’ll guarantee I won’t watch it. I might just throw my TV away, like you’ve apparently done for some insane reason (that’s the only semi-logical reason I can think of to “never watch TV anymore” in an era when TV shows are better than they’ve ever been.
I think he means he doesn’t watch network TV anymore instead using streaming services like Netflix. Which is true of a lot of people these days.
If the player interviews were televised, ratings would be through the roof!
Dave.
Dave….
DAVE.
This is the best idea and I am 10000000000% behind it.
Don’t forget the Ryan Leaf test.
I’d use my dad’s military-grade salsa to paint my house. It’d be able withstand a nuclear blast, and he makes it by the gallon for free already.
stop ignoring me. you can’t keep this up forever.
YOU WILL MOCK ME!
One (of the many) reasons I could never be a pro athlete is the dumb interview process. A few years ago there was an NBA prospect doing the interview rounds. One team executive seemed convinced that he had a child he was trying to keep a secret and kept pestering about the supposed ‘secret baby’. I would have eventually snapped and responded “What?…did your wife finally break it to you?”
What if it’s a full spandex leotard………printed like a suit? 🙂
I’d pay to see that.
I think you’re onto something here.
Congrats, You’ve just thought of the greatest idea in human history
Not often I get a Bloodborne reference with my Draw Play comic. I’ll take it!
Largley