Rex Ryan Tries His Hand At Announcing
So I feel bad for anyone who decided to skip the Chargers/Broncos double header Monday Night game. It ended up being one of the most…lets say interesting games of the week. Why was it interesting? A lot of reasons. Let’s start with Rex Ryan.
I was excited to see Ryan in the booth. I never expected him to be good, but I figured he’d at least be entertaining. I expected him to say some weird stuff that would get him kicked out of the booth after one game. I expected him to go off on some inane tangents. I expected weird fun. What we got was just the worst possible announcer: a nervous idiot who clearly didn’t prepare or research as much as he should have and had no idea how to talk. Man, I figured Rex would at least know how to talk. He was terrible.
It was night and day if you compared him to Tony Romo, who couldn’t have done much better than he did and is already beloved. Rex was terrible. He had trouble saying anything of value, he left a lot of airspace, and (I saw someone mention this on twitter) he seemed like he was trying really hard not to curse and that was taking all his focus. He was boring, he added nothing, and Beth Mowins gave up on him halfway through the broadcast and just started doing everything she could to cover the air.
That’s another shout out: Beth Mowins, the first female announcer on an NFL game. Really happy for her. Considering her situation, she did the best she could. You can’t save a broadcast that bad by yourself. She got hate on twitter, but I thought she was just fine, valiantly pushing forward in a tough spot. She was not put in a position to succeed. She didn’t get an experienced color announcer to bounce off of and basically did it all herself by the end. She was stuck on the ESPN broadcast B team, which gets an F for presentation. The sound mixing was the worst I’ve ever heard for an NFL game. Honestly everything around Beth was such a disaster it’s a miracle she came out okay. I’d be curious to hear her in a booth next to someone who is better than a garbage can at color commentary.
Also: Sergio Dipp.
Poor guy who doesn’t have English as a first language gets a sideline interview spot and panics on camera, giving an honestly terrible interview that mostly invoked mocking and pity for the poor guy who looked in over his head. Very “Boom goes the dynamite” type situation. Dipp never saw the camera again but he took the jokes in stride on twitter so good for him.
Past all the bizarre production stuff, the game was pretty weird too. Started off pretty even, Broncos started pulling away (T-Seems looks pretty decent!), then two quick bad turnovers by the Broncos later and suddenly the Chargers are only down a field goal. Denver misses an important field goal, then they save the game from overtime by icing the San Diego kicker and then blocking the subsequent attempt. Solid game that likely half of the football fans in the country slept through. It was a good way to end the week.
Week 1 is in the books! Welcome back, football. Can’t wait to see what from this week was just a fluke and what will actually end up being true over the course of the season.
NOTE: I may be very busy these next two days. If anyone has a guest comic about holding a beer, send it in, and if I need to, I will use it. If not, I’ll throw it up as a bonus on Sunday or something.
With that sleeveless dress, Beth should be sporting a tattoo. Maybe Rex, kneeling on the beach, wearing a Bill Belichick hoodie.
Lol,also Dave , Sexy rexy is not in madden 18
Romo practiced announcing in the preseason. Unsexy Rexy practiced whiskey drinking in the preseason.
I can honestly say I want to see more of Sergio Dipp. People hating on the guy don’t see the genius that he is. Best sideline report Ive ever heard. Was almost hoping a player would get injured so they could go back to him.
Rex sucking was predictable. Put Sergio in the booth with Beth and we got ourselves an A-plus broadcasting team.
Everybody on reddit loved Sergio. There were a few jokes, but most of them weren’t in bad taste, or from a place of malice.
For the record, at least one of those turnovers was due to the refs missing one of the most obvious DPIs I’ve ever seen. In fact, the officiating for that game was pretty bad all around, multiple missed holding calls on Russell Okung (seriously, dude practically Rock Bottomed Von Miller one play), Trevor Siemian getting sacked (if by sacked, you mean he got his helmet knocked off and was still standing by the end of the play), and my favorite, Philip Rivers tossing the ball to the side like someone had handed him a sack of flaming dog shit after the sideline officials somehow missed his timeout signal. I’m serious when I say I’ve seen better officiating by WWE refs.
Trevor juked Bosa out of his socks. It was funny.
That broadcast ranked up there with The Room in terms of so bad it was good. I personally think Beth was still pretty bad though. Definitely the most competent of the bunch but it’s not like she had much competition.
Rex Ryan referred to Okung as one of the best Olinemen in the league
Yeah, he also said that Demaryius Thomas rarely drops the ball. With astute observations like that, it’s a wonder his coaching career nosedived like it did.
On top of all that, I remember him referring to Melvin Gordon as “the one with the hair”. Needless to say, Rex was not having the time of his life in the booth.
I caught things at kickoff, so I might have missed the Sergio part, but my initial thoughts were, “Ah. A woman calling the plays. It was a matter of time before…. wait… is she announcing this game alone? Did ESPN throw her to the wolves? *Rex Ryan finally speaks* There he is. Was he too busy jerking off to notice he was on the air or something?” I felt for Beth. If she was bad in any way, the crew she worked with sure wanted to make her look worse.
I also felt for Sergio. He didn’t sound like he was comfortable enough at speaking English to do that job. That is if he know enough about American football in the first place. I think it’s a case of putting someone away from everything they’re good at. I dunno.
Can we assemble a team of the worst announcers and at least get entertainment value out of their baffling incompetence.
I want to preface this by saying two things: First, I watched the game mostly on mute, and second, what I did hear of Beth was professional, crisp, and well-prepared.
But I *HATED* her voice. Her vowel pronunciations made me cringe, hard. It’s that upper-New York accent– I absolutely loathe it. Especially for football– football just sounds best with a Southern drawl, midwestern lilt, or at worst, American-Neutral. No New Yorker, no Boston, no New England accents– they sound okay for basketball and baseball, but so out of place to me for the NFL.
I didn’t notice the accent but it sounded to me like she was trying to make herself sound manlier, and I was a little weirded out by it. Not enough to think she was bad, but there was something iffy.
How about this for a comic idea….
People say Thursday night games aren’t that bad. Then, the entire Texans and Bengals teams say in unison together, “Hold my beer”.
You could make another Colts related comic to see if someone gets triggered again.
There’s nothing Dave can write that would trigger me more than waking up every morning and remembering Irsay is our owner, lmao