Quinnen Williams Has A Way With Words
Aug19
on August 19, 2019
at 12:01 am
Shoutout to /u/giobbistar21 on reddit during my AMA for directing me to this silly story about Jets rookie Quinnen Williams that I somehow missed.
I’m not gonna lie there is still a part of me that giggles every time I hear an announcer talk about how a player got really good penetration. Just deep penetration right at the line. Such deep penetration. I love it when they go deep to the tight end. I like how players have excellent ball handling skills. Football is an erotic adventure masquerading as violence.
Also I just want to say that now that I’ve seen the new Jets uniforms in motion, I like them less and less. They have no identity of their own. They are bland college knockoffs.
Just like how in basketball when they say “he can finish with both hands!”
I feel for him.
Not because of this, but because he got drafted to the Jets
I think it was the 2010 Super Bowl when Madden was calling the game and he couldn’t stop talking about how much penetration the Packers were getting. My friend and I just kept changing looks until Madden mentioned that someone had managed double penetration and then we just couldn’t help ourselves.
remember when Madden Drew a Schlong with the telestrator
Absolute best instance of a football announcer not thinking about what he was saying was in the 2008 Fiesta Bowl. An Oklahoma player got called for holding and on the replay Musburger said “Looks to me like he got a handful of Johnny Dingle on that play.”
I fell off the couch.
Look at me Ma, I made it! I helped contribute a Draw Play comic!
I still loved how last season Khalil Mack abused Riley Reiff so hard that one of the announcers of the game misspoke and changed the Tackles last name…. led to some fun Reddit comments.
“He beat his man off the line” is my favorite football innuendo
I wonder how it must feel for the players. Poor guys just trying to watch film or their highlights while having to hear the commentator’s homoerotic fantasies
It’d be funnier if you just used a pic of Drew Magary’s face for Darnold’s head, like South Park used to do for celebrities.
I mean football is just a bunch of muscle men in tights trying to grab each other. It’s such a homoerotic sport you’d think the Greeks invented it.
How about back in the day when the saints had Deuce in the backfield and Bush in the slot?
Or Lance Moore in the slot. Tbh great pornstar name that was never appreciated.
Or everytime an announcer calls a bunch of sacks a “Sack Party”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LtnZYWDYqo
I heard Joe Buck say during the world series “Pujols (poo-hole) squeezes out number two.”
At least he won’t have to worry about fumbling off someone’s butt.