Meet The Bryants Week!
WELCOME TO DEZ BRYANT WEEK! Well, Meet the Bryants week, really.
It’s been a long time since I did a specialty week, so lets have some stupid fun. It’s the offseason and jack is happening anyway.
This is the result of a couple weeks ago, frantically trying to come up with something, anything to make a comic about. I went on a nice walk (like I normally do to think up comic ideas) and thought about a stupid picture I made the day before. This one. I thought about maybe making a few more silly instagram pictures of Dez Bryant name puns. Not a lot rhymes with Dez so I only really got 3 good ones. Fez, Prez and Pez. Then I came up with a stupid idea (that will be later this week) and thought it would be an amazing comic, but it would require waaaaaay too much set up so that everyone got the joke, so I came up with this intro comic to show the concept, but then a comic for set up and a comic for a punchline seemed dumb. So I then came up with several more ideas, all based around a similar theme (which will become clear) and realized like most weeks/running gags I do, it’s all basic variations of the same joke, and maybe I could just throw them all into one week of stupid and get it out of my system. So here we are. Sneak peek into my thought process, by the way.
So yeah, here’s the set up. Dez Bryant has 3 brothers. One of them is a humble hat salesman. One is the president of the united states. One is an ungodly horror. It’s your basic sitcom premise. Honestly every sitcom has an ungodly horror these days. Big Bang Theory is a show with nothing but ungodly horrors.
“Obscure Playstation 2 references” bitch please, that was out on the Dreamcast originally – now we’re talking obscure!
Mmmm all of the related comics have Dez in them…I hope one of these Byants cares about your computer files, unlike Jay Culter
Von Miller farts + Mark Sanchez Buttfumble.
That’s a match made in heaven.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to come up with other names that rhyme with Dez
All I got was Chez- He pays Chess!!
And Perez- He hates Donald Trump!
Typical conversation on Meet the Bryants.
Scene: Dez, Prez and Pez are sitting at the dining room table.
Hat salesman: *comes in after long day of work, sighs* Another day with no sales. People just don’t want to buy hats anymore.
Dez: Well, maybe they would if Mr. Hotshot over there knew how to fix the damn economy!
Obama: *looks up from reading newspaper* Hey, I’ve had my failures in my administration. But at least I didn’t drop the ball on the one-yard line. *goes back to reading paper*
Audience: oooooooooo
Dez: Man, you did not just say…I can’t believe you just…ooo you make me so mad…grrrr where’s my mother? MOM! GET OVER HERE! *gets up and walks out of room*
*laugh track*
Pez man: *tilts head back, dispenses piece of Pez candy*
*end scene*
As they say in the biz: “You put that on TV, and I’d watch it!”
A disappointing lack of squirrel sex though.
(Man, if I had a nickel for every time I typed *that* sentence…)
Of the 4 the only one I’d hang out with is Pez and maybe Fez, but I feel Fez would just try to sell me a hat. Pez gives me free candy.
… what.
wait, if prez is the president, why is he dressed like a secret service agent for the president
Dez’s family is way more depressing than this, so I’ll take it lol.
Look me in the eye and tell me you’d kick Kaley Cuoco out of bed for farting, and in turn, I *WILL* call you a liar.