Super Mario Possesses Chargin’ Chuck
So it’s the offseason, lets talk about Mario. If you listened to the podcast this week, you know where this is going.
When the reveal for the new Mario game happened a while ago, I got nervous. Mario was running around what looked like New York City, next to actual human people. It…didn’t look good. It gave me very very bad Sonic 2006 vibes. Basically, when you have a distinct character like Mario or Sonic, putting them in a world next to regular looking people is just wrong. Mario works in his own universe. When you stick him in ours, all it does is highlight how grotesque and weird it all is. You start questioning everything. It drives you slowly insane. Listen to the above podcast if you want to hear it happen in real time to me and Sam.
Then E3 happened and it showed the main gimmick to Mario Odyseey: Mario can possess things with his hat now. Mario is a skinchanger. Mario can literally possess humans in the game with his hat. I am so on board with this. A+, Nintendo. I wasn’t going to buy a Switch for a while, but now I might have to. That is an awesome game mechanic. Nintendo looked at the horror of putting Mario in a realistic world and said “Hmmm, lets go full on existential horror and make Mario a demon, but you get to play as the demon, it’ll be great”. He can also possess dinosaurs. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS GAME EXISTS.
It makes me wonder if Chargin’ Chucks are in the game, and if you can possess one. I want to play as Mario playing as Chargin’ Chuck. I want to kick footballs at goombas. I want to charge through koopas. I want piranha plants to look at their former friends and wonder when they grew a mustache and OH GOD CHUCK NO YOU’VE BEEN TAKEN BY THE MARIO OH GOD THIS GAME IS HORRIFYING. Invasion of the body snatchers, and the body snatcher is Mario. What if Mario finally defeats bowser not by stopping him…but by BECOMING him? Trapping Bowser as a prisoner in his own mind. Bowser is trapped in his own mind, unable to control his body, seeing everything like John Cusack at the end of Being John Malkovich or the main character in Get Out when he’s hypnotized. This is the most horrifying game ever made, Silent Hill ain’t got shit on this.
Also, one last thing about Chargin’ Chucks: it never really occurred to me, but it’s kind of weird they exist. They showed up in Super Mario World first. Why did a Japanese game developer stick a reference to American Football in their game? Japan doesn’t care about football, do they? Is that a thing? Why are almost all the enemies very unique to the world of Mario, but one enemy wears real world football gear? The very existence of Chargin Chucks are strange. I hope I can pull a Pazuzu and control one.
If you wanna see the game in it’s full glory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4wDo-7dsX0 this is not the 2017 game this is Mario 64 modded with the hat possession. It’s absolutely hilarious and horrifying at the same time.
What if Mario had sex with Peach while he still possesses Bowser’s body?
If you weren’t gonna buy a Switch for Breath of the Wild, then Super Mario Odyssey and Metroid Prime 4 must almost clinch it. Samus was woefully absent from the Wii U.
Only a new F-Zero left to seal the deal now.
“Why did a Japanese game developer stick a reference to American Football in their game? Japan doesn’t care about football, do they?”
The Japanese have been playing American Football for a while now. It’s actually pretty popular over there.
The Browns will sign anyone at this point
Doesn’t Japan have an American Football Manga? I feel like the sport is weirdly niche in that region.
Yup, it is called Eyeshield 21: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyeshield_21.
Yeah. Eyeshield 21. I don’t think the sport is as popular as baseball, rugby or soccer over there, but it has its niche.
I also just finished another anime series, where one of the lines from the main villain was that his attack was “as precise as one of Joe Montana’s touchdown passes”. Just about everything in that analogy caught me off guard, but at the same time, that show is littered with American and British pop culture references, so that might just be an outlier.
According to Nintendo, the official terminology isn’t “possessed”, but captured. As in: *CAP*-tured.
Basically, they took the creepy idea behind it, and made it worse by turning it into a pun.
You mean, “made it better by turning it into a pun.”
I’d say American Football is actually pretty well known in Japan. the X League is probably the most robust football league outside of North America.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_36U4vEwNlI
here is a link to a short clip. Look at the stadium attendance.
If you watch the trailer at about 1:56 they start showing several outfits and a football jersey/helm is definitely one.
https://youtu.be/wGQHQc_3ycE?t=1m56s
Don’t ever disrespect Mario by drawing comparisons to Sonic 2k6 in any context ever again
It’s more like adventure 1 than 06
Mario doesn’t even need to possess a Charging Chuck, he already has a football outfit in Odyssey: https://i.snag.gy/xal9mn.jpg
I can’t fucking wait for mario adventure 3, without sonic the hedgehog or Ron Parker
IT’S NOT 06, IT’S ADVENTURE 1! Yes, I’m having a fanboy rage.
Also, I’m still waiting for mario football (actual football, not soccer) Nintendo.
I wanna see a Mario basketball game.
Sadly, at this point of time we only can make do with fan-made images.
http://imgur.com/gallery/Xe5eg
As for basketball, well, there’s this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Hoops_3-on-3
For the podcast, Here are the offical explanations for why sonic is a tall blue hedegehog with human hands and dope soap shoes
American comics: In like 2080, a giant nuke killed everybody and like 30,000 years of radiation-fueled evolution, you get sonic and friends.
American cartoon (2000s): Sonic and friends and aliens from another dimension.
The games: “It Doesn’t Matter” because it’s never explained, like, ever.
And the weirdest of all, the British comics: Sonic was a brown, 3-ft tall hedegehog living in a cave in Nebraska with his mom and 11 sisters until he ran away and befriended the kind-hearted Dr. Eggman. Then by the power of sonic running in a hamster wheel: Eggman went evil, sonic turned blue, and some random rocks got colors and the power to control the world.
Yes, I’m bigger sonic fanboy than I’m a arena football fanboy.
Have we seen the last of ringless rivers?
Quick arena update:
Philly won to go to 9-0, and the 1-7 Washington Valor are going to Baltimore tonight, Friday, June 23rd (21st anniversy of the N64’s launch and sonic’s 26th anniversary) at 7pm on AFL Live and Monumental Sports Network (no twitter) to take on the 2-6 Brigade. I’ve got B’more winning tonight as the Valor move one step closer to being the 2001 Carolina Panthers (win the first game, lose the rest).
Full video tomorrow.
Dave, looks like you got your wish.
Apparently Chargin’ Chucks DO exist in Super Mario Odyssey, you DO get to possess them with your hat, and you DO get to charge down enemies and stage obstacles as them.
Hey, I don’t know why I didn’t make a note of this but sometime this season, at least a month ago, somebody did charging chuck’s stomp routine as a celebration. I shit you not. Please tell me someone else caught this….