Laremy Tunsil’s New App
Admit it, you forgot about Laremy Tunsil and you haven’t thought about him for a while until you read this.
So I’m sure this is a little out of left field, but it was just a thought I had one day. I don’t have the budget to make it a real fake commercial. Hey Bleacher Report. Let’s make this happen or something.
It’s still crazy to me how that happened last season. Poor dude had a big chance to be the big man in the draft last year and then some angry bitter former acquaintance does him dirty and releases the infamous bong video. Tunsil’s draft stock plummets, he drifts to number 12 (13? early teens) and ends up on the Dolphins. A good team for him, honestly, and a team that could use him. But since it’s the Dolphins, who are currently kind of uninteresting as an organization, (and he’s a lineman), Tunsil basically fell off the map in terms of anyone paying attention to him. On the plus side, he was sort of the subject of one of my best comics last season. Still proud of that one. It also now makes 2 out of 3 comics with Tunsil that have butts in them.
At the same time I’m also surprised this sort of thing doesn’t happen more often. Tunsil can’t be the first dude in history to have an angry friend or enemy who wants to bring embarrassment and pain. I often wonder what sort of blackmail stuff we’ve never known about, and what sort of stuff simply slipped under the radar. Maybe Joe Flacco has a sex tape (oh man imagine how boring that would be). Matt Stafford has to have tons of drunk photos on a frat hall wall somewhere. If human white bread Matt Ryan can have a photo of him trying on a bra then there has to be some amazing stuff we’ve missed. Even Eli has a drunk photo. It’s somehow less embarrassing than most normal Eli faces. (Also, note to self, photoshop a rocket pop in his hand in the future.)
Players shouldn’t have any of this effect them as much as it does. We’ve all been stupid. Holding these kids to impossible standards is hard enough. If you didn’t do a single dumb shit thing in college you basically wasted college.
Lastly, unrelated, I keep wanting to pronounce his name as Laremy Tonsil. If he becomes the stud lineman we expected of him, can we say that any player who gets stopped by Tunsil got “Tunsillitis”? You know, because tonsillitis inflames your tonsils and makes it hard to swallow and for stuff to sneak past. Like a big ol’ lineman inflaming and not letting any defenders into the throat (pocket). Dammit why didn’t I make a comic out of this instead (Files away for later use).
Dez Bryant is a weeaboo I’m out.
HEY! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY ANIME COLLECTION, MY TASTES ARE THE BEST AND NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT!
justdon’tlookupmysearchhistoryonhowIgotthose
Ditto!
You didn’t mention your collection of lewd hand-holding pics.
Honestly, having your anime collection unveiled to the world might not be the worst thing as an NFL prospect, because it just means you’re a good fit for Green Bay, and there are worse teams to end up on than the Packers.
https://theringer.com/green-bay-packers-nfl-anime-ring-2051c9e82197
So Dez Bryant wanted to be like Konata’s dad?
…don’t ask.
I get it
I didn’t forget tunsil last year, he kicked ass helping pave the way for Jay Ajayi to carry Miami to to they playoffs (Hopefully Miami can get Forest Lamp to build their line Dallas style).
I want a defender. The O-line has a lot of first round picks already. It’s time they started performing as such. The defence is really talent deficient though.
Jwaun James was a massive reach.
After Lamp, I’d want #2 Jabrill Peppers (although he might fall to round 2 with the drug test), #3 Marion Humphrey (CB ‘Bama; even if that does mean having to get a Nick Saban guy), then #4 Garrett Conley (CB, Ohio State). Although I doubt Lamp or Conley would be available with the 23rd pick, I have hopes.
I don’t care whether it was a “reach” or not. Ultimately the only thing that matters is how each of the 32 teams saw him and we have no clue what that was except that one of them thought it was worth it taking him at 19. The fact of the matter is that this franchise has invested a lot of resources into the O-line and it’s time those investments paid off. There are too many other needs to continue throwing everything at the O-line.
Scratch #4 the on Conley, make it Quincy Wilson from Florida
WHERE CAN I BUY THIS
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
I feel sorry for kids these days, growing up with a mature internet. Almost all the embarrassing stuff about me on the internet was on Geocities (gone), various message boards (most of which are gone), or Xanga (technically not gone, but c’mon). Eventually, I learned to exert better control over what I put online.
Yeah, you can’t help what others post sometimes, but back in the pioneering days of the web, stuff had a fair chance of disappearing whether you posted it or not. That’s inconceivable now.
Anyways, “Laremy Tunsil” is fun name to say and I hope he gives folks a good reason to say it this season.
half the time I call him Jeremy Tunsil
Why do you hate Ajayi and Tannehill?
What’s wrong with Anime?
Probably depends on the level of obsession. If one buys one of these loli waifu pillows, that’s when it gets creepy.
There was this Bucs player that was a huge anime fan on twitter. I think he’s in wrestling now
Sabby Piscitelli?
He’s in WWE rn if thats him.
That Matt Ryan photo is the best thing I’ve seen.
now if it was sonic fanfic then the nfl ban hammer would be thoroughly justified
Agreed.
Sonichu?
Don’t even bring that up lmao
http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/why-kraft-dropped-the-fight/
That would have been the perfect comic to talk about how perverse the sonic (or MLP or fihal fantasy or FNAF or Undertale) fanbase is. I say this as a huge sonic fan.
Honestly, pretty much every online fanbase has a disturbing amount of perverted stuff in it. Everyone’s biologically programmed to love sex, and when everyone’s anonymous, a lot of the restriction people have with that stuff goes away in an instant.
Like Yahoo Answers ever since they allow the users to hide behind anonymous, the troll questions have increased more than before.
I think I’ll go and test something out to see what happens.
The NFL, where doing something legal in some states is 10x worse than hitting a woman, or maybe choking out your pregnant girlfriend.
That search history though… “Butt stuff with anime dick pics while drunk” That Andy Dalton is a freaky creature…
Still not Sam Bradford in PFM
Dave, What’s your opinion of TMZ? Are they worth paying any note to?
They legitimately break a lot of news but they also spread about just as many pointless rumors that go nowhere so generally no I don’t consider them worth my attention. I wait till a more respectable news outlet picks up something they mention before I take it seriously.
You really missed the mark on this one…
Players have been punished SIGNIFICANTLY harsher for any domestic violence, no one’s EVER been punished for any of the things you mentioned by the league.
If anything the lasting impact that players with sexual assault and domestic violence chargers have compared to insignificant things like the Tunsil video or the drunk pictures shows where the priorities lie.
But hey, that doesn’t get clicks does it?
Hey everyone I’m Phinzdown and this joke comic about a fake app that doesn’t exist IS MAKING ME SO MAD YOU GUYZ No football player has EVER been punished for LIKING ANIME You’re a HACK this comic is SO INACCURATE TO REAL LIFE it’s just about THE CLICKZ YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING
DOWNVOTED
REPORTED
UNSUBSCRIBED
Still waiting for news to break that Gronk or better yet, Ben Roethlisberger is a Brony.
That’d be great.
I’m calling it, Aaron Rodgers cosplays as a Sailor Moon character Seiya Kou, further spreading the gay rumor. I mean why not?
Well this strip turned kind of awkward really fast, didn’t it? Still funny and well done, but awkward.
Funny how this comic was made the same day Gareon Conley is accused of rape.