Kirk Cousins Gets That Mad Cash
Finally! Kirk Cousins got that mad stack of moolah. It’s about time.
I gotta admit, when it became clear that the Kirk sweepstakes was gonna happen, the Vikings were not my first choice for landing spots. I didn’t think they had the cap room, plus I figured they’d just roll with one of their 3 starter-level QBs they ran the season with. I expected it to be Keenum, figured his play would force their hand and leave the Vikings in a bind to pay him or lose everything, and Teddy would leave, banished to the Jets or Browns. Figured Bradford would stick around after what the Vikings paid to get him, and that he would take a backup contract because who wants to pay for another year of injureman, glass bones extreme. I was sorta right.
Keenum went to the Broncos, which looks good for Denver. Teddy indeed went to the Jets and will probably start until he sucks and they throw the mystery QB they traded up for to the wolves. Bradford went and got paid AGAIN by another team, Arizona. I assume he will die by week 5. Nobody in this league has made more unearned cash than Sam Bradford. At least when Brock Osweiler got mad cash he was technically coming off a Super Bowl season that he at least contributed to. What the hell has Bradford accomplished besides looking like a cabbage patch kid?
So now a team that reached the NFC Championship enters the next season with a completely new QB roster. That’s unheard of. They even pulled in a decent enough backup in Trevor Siemian. But now we finally get to see Kirk unleash hell with better weapons in a less-dysfunctional franchise. I like Kirk as a QB. I think he was underrated when he was still “bad” and wasn’t surprised at all to see him succeed. Now that he’s out from under the Snyder thumb and on a team built to win we can really see what he’s capable of. I’m pumped to root for the guy, he’s an underrated goober man. A casual glance at his twitter reads like a PR firm writes it, and then further reading you realize no, Kirk really is this wholesome and this much of a dork.
His contract is pretty interesting too. 84 million, but fully guaranteed. Good for Capt. Kirk. A lot of people are hoping it is a watershed moment in contracts for NFL players. Less incentive bonus nonsense and more hard cash to make sure they get through things okay. I’m for it. Give the players who sacrifice bodies and minds more guaranteed money to deal with it. They obviously have to invest it right and take responsibility, but at least they aren’t going to get screwed quite as bad by little loopholes.
Of course they won’t get screwed over. Who d’you think they are, Miami?
sperm watch 2018
Bradford’s first contract did help everyone realize how how fucked up the rookie deals were getting at the end of the 2000s, so there’s that. (By comparison, 2010 #1 Bradford: 5 years, $60 mil, 2011 #1 Cam: 4 years, $22.5 mil).
Disagree. I think Cousins is overrated and I don’t think he’s worth the money he’s being paid. I have a bad feeling Captain Kirk is going to get injured in like week 4, but even if he doesn’t, I have a hard time believing he’s going to be the savior of the Vikings.
How is he overrated? His contract isn’t a good deal, but unfortunately that’s the going rate on the QB market. Is it because you think he doesn’t have enough “wins” (a team stat that requires your team and coach to do there part)? He’s basically played well for one of the most dysfunctional franchises in football, with little to no talent around him in an offense that doesn’t appear to have any rhyme or reason. If they pair him up with a good OC he could easily be a top 8 QB if not higher.
Kirk may not even be the 2nd best QB in the NFC North. Stafford is much more clutch than him and has a better arm. And he’s almost never had a running game to take the pressure off him.
Stafford’s run game suffers from the same issue Rodgers’ has… they line up in shotgun too much. If they are ever under center defenses know they are probably going to run it. It’s the only knock I’ve ever had against Rodgers game, and this applies to Stafford as well.
Stafford’s definitely had more clutch moments this far in his career, but clutch moments only happen when your defense can actually make stops. That being said, those two years where Stafford had 6 and 8 come from behind wins – pretty legendary stuff.
He throws too many interceptions. He’s gotten better about them, but he still threw six picks in the two games his team needed to win to make the playoffs. It’s interesting that the Redskins traded for Smith, who is known for not taking chances, to get rid of Cousins. I don’t think Cousins is a bad quarterback, but he is definitely flawed – that’s how he made it to free agency. Hopefully he’ll be able to meet expectations in Minnesota, otherwise, his fully guaranteed contract will become one more cautionary tale on free agency.
That is interesting and I want to see how that shakes out. With the Skins I felt like they had to live or die by Kirk – which is why sometimes you just have to eat games your QB loses. With a top 5 defense he won’t have to carry the team. Alex Smith on the other hand can’t win you games, he just does his best not to lose them.
That’s definitely an interesting take and I only watched 3 skins games last year so I might not have seen enough. I’ve always felt that since he won the Redskins more games than they deserved to win, you have to take the losses with them (same with any other QB that carries their team) – although I’m interested to see if that improve when his situation improves.
If the Vikings maintain a top 5 defense then he won’t have to win games. Smith on the other hand can’t win games if he has to, which is ironically what the Redskins need.
FULLY GUARANTEED
Hate to be that guy, but in panel 9 did you misspell “capitalism” or is this some joke/pun that flew over my head?
Oh lord this is gonna get crazy
Rodgers is going to be getting a huge contract, soon. Also, “Captialism”? 😉
JPP is no longer a Giant. Weird way to start the morning.
You’re literally the first person who’s not a fellow Minnesotan who likes this signing for the Vikings. I know I’m biased and all, but I LOVE it and don’t understand all of the media backlash.
Case Keenum is a fine QB if you have a great defense and great West Coast offense, but man…don’t ever ask this guy to go out and win a game for you or come back from a deficit of 10 points or more. And he should’ve had A LOT more interceptions than he did. The amount of dropped passes by opposing defenses and times they didn’t realize the ball was near them to easily pick off was just absolutely absurd (an ESPN writer pointed out this fact too at one point; forgot who). He was a liability who’s weaknesses were covered up by an excellent defense and brilliant play calling. Which congrats on getting Pat, btw. He was absolutely fantastic here.
Anyway…I have 85% more confidence with a QB like Cousins. He may not be a top 5 QB, and plenty will argue he’s not even top 10…but compared to Keenum…yes. He is THAT much better.
Clarification: First person I’ve read from who likes it for the Vikings.
I’m alright with the signing. I at least think it’s an upgrade over Case Keenum, San Bradford and Teddy Bridgewater (in the field of reliability). However I personally would’ve preferred him on the Jags since he’d be even more of an upgrade over Blake A-Bortles
Has Blake Bortles closest career comparison been Sexy Rexy? He either plays well or really poor – there is no in between.
At this point Bradford also needs to join for at least one money comic as the dude has gotten paid the most for the least contribution in the NFL, he still has top tier arm talent and was the last before the rookie wage scale so it’s somewhat understandable how he’d get the first few but this latest one is ridiculous
also fuck the ravens ryan grant is too good for you
Maybe this is a stupid question, but why is Flacco piloting Jimmy’s ship?
And come to think of it, if Cousins got $300K more per year over fewer years, why is his ship 20 times bigger?
Because he got $11 million more guaranteed over two fewer years.
You misspelled “Capitalism” you cotton headed ninny muggins.
Because he got $11 million more guaranteed over two fewer years.
for me the punchline for this one is “can I moon you yet”
The real question is, who else is on the crew for Kirk’s ship, since you’ve gotta assume he has SOMEONE on there.
It’s the 2017 vikes qbs with injured reserve (full bar) in the back. Orrrrr…
sexy rexy
Sperm = new Sexy Rexy?
Hey, Bradford made more, but he had to get his body broken to earn that money.
Chase Daniel earned 24M for 78 total pass attempts over nine years.
ncc = naval construction contract
seems legit
C’mon man. Bradford at least looks good when he was healthy. Osweiler got benched for a Peyton Manning who was practically HGH and stitches.
I’d just like to point out that, with this contract, from 2016-2020 Kirk Cousins will have made $127,896,600, fully guaranteed, over five years. That’s nearly equal to an NBA Bird-max contract from 2016 (5/$147.5M).