Kelvin Benjamin’s Big Position
Tim Tebow isn’t the only guy out of the league for years who is coming back to play tight end! Big Kelvin Benjamin is back, and he’s no longer the Widest Receiver. He’s a tight end. Something the idiot savant known as Booger Mcfarland seemed to predict.
I doubt he makes the final roster but it’s nice to see and I’m rooting for anyone to reduce Engram’s time on the field. I wish he’d go whole hog and fill up enough to play right guard but I’ll settle for a guy big enough to block and catch. With Engram the main speedy option and the newly acquired Kyle Rudolph (a signing I was extremely happy about) as the secondary option/red zone weapon though, I’m not sure where Benjamin would fit in. He’d have to play really damn well to sneak in a spot, but if he does, he’d be useful in a limited capacity. Sometimes he’d be a TE, sometimes they could use him as a WR decoy thing or whatever…if Jason Garrett had any imagination at least.
The Giants are probably the only team that would take him on since he has a history with Gettleman. Benjamin was basically a bust and very lazy and he hasn’t been on a roster since 2018. It’s pretty easy to write him off as an easy scratch. Since I don’t have expectations, I’m rooting for him. You always gotta root for a good comeback story. He’s still big enough to play tight end if he learns the position well enough. He’ll never burn anybody again but tight ends don’t have to. Besides, our burner tight end is Engram, and he cant catch anyway, so he’s useless. I kinda wish they’d just make Engram a WR.
Anyway welcome to May football, where the content well runs dry and we give a shit about washed up dudes getting signed to be bodies in minicamp. Probably gonna start making more Laterals soon.
I don’t eat a lot of fast food, especially these days, so I’ve only actually ever had Popeyes once. It was pretty good for fast food chicken. I grew up with KFC and KFC is pretty bad and the last time I had it I just hated myself. Chick-Fil-A is average, the chicken was meh but the fries and sauces were where the action was. I have not had Bojangles or any other fried chicken fast food, so please inform me if anything else is worth trying for a guy who usually wont get it in the first place.
I wish another booth team had picked Booger. I liked him. He was entertaining, at least. On a related note, whoever it was who did the play by play for the Nickelodeon game seriously needs a booth job somewhere because he was legit better than a majority of the dudes doing that gig for real.
And on the fast food chicken front, I remember loving Jim Dandy as a kid, but I don’t know if they even exist anymore. Chester Fried has some OK options and gets better if you can find a real restaurant as opposed to one just stuck inside a convenience store. I remember really liking their wedges. Lastly, Kennedy fried chicken had some good chicken, but are completely clueless as to how to proportion mashed taters.
Anything that can potentially minimize Engram drops is a positive for the Giants, so I’d like to see Benjamin as well. I’m not as confident in Garrett being able to figure a way to make him versatile though. I’m not even sure Garrett will be able to untap Kadarius Toney’s potential, and that’s someone who the the phrase “Swiss Army Knife” is attached to in half the articles I’ve seen.
Mentioning Kennedy Fried Chicken sent me on a Wikipedia Wormhole. I had no idea there were any north of Fordham Road, but apparently they can be found as far away as California. Also hadn’t known there were still Bogangles out in the wild till Dave mentioned them. I remember Church’s Chicken as being more solid than KFC, but haven’t seen one of them in umpteen years. Popeye’s is solid but there’s a real variance by location (the airport and thruway/turnpike rest area locations are nicer than the 25% vacant strip mall on the edge of town locations). Although it’s more a roasted than fried chicken chain I kinda wish we had more Nandos in the U.S. (luckily most supermarkets have their Periperi sauce).
The Nickelodeon broadcast was done by Noah Eagle, who I believe is the son of Ian Eagle. I always though Ian was one of the better ones on the NFL side too (especially when paired with Dan Fouts, as the “Beard and the Beard” were pretty entertaining with ribbing each other and some running jokes and stuff. But of course the NFL/CBS blunted Eagle this year by retiring Fouts and pairing him with someone bland analyst instead. So we’re still left with only Nantz/Romo and Michaels/Collinsworth as anything decent, and hoping that Peyton won’t be as annoying in the booth as he was on the field when he inevitably gets one of the high profile jobs.
I also liked the Ian Eagle/Dan Fouts pairing. Another booth guy I was a fan of was Rich Gannon. I was bummed that he got the axe a few years back. I always wondered how he felt about having to cover so many Patriots games.
Sir, I take offense to you calling Michaels/Collinsworth as decent. To me, they’re the worst ones. Michaels is super boring, but Collinsworth is the absolute worst. He just gushes over everyone. Everyone’s the best, and he loves this guy, he loves that guy. Then when he starts to love a guy on your team, he pretends this has been their guy all along, even though he’s never ever spoke of this guy before. It feels dirty when he starts gushing all over your own team’s players after he’s finished gushing all over everyone else’s players. I can’t stand it.
I know a lot of people hate Aikman/Buck, but I never thought this pair was all that bad. I have a theory that people who think these guys are the worst are all NFC East fans. Or at least NFC fans. Michaels/Collinsworth get more than their fair share of AFC games, so maybe I’m just used to seeing them gush all over the Pats, the Steelers, and more recently the Chiefs.
No complaints at all about Ian Eagle, but sometimes Fouts could be a little harsh towards the Chargers. Sometimes it’s deserved, sometimes it seems like he’s just trying not to seem like a Chargers homer, and sometimes it comes off as if he’s a bitter old ex-wife of the Chargers, which isn’t too far off.
Also, Popeye’s is overrated, especially if you eat their chicken in sandwich form. The bun always falls apart for me, and the chicken is delicious but way too breaded. It’s like eating a bread sandwich with a side of bread. Do you guys have Mary Brown’s down there, or is that a Canadian thing? I haven’t been to one in forever but their potato wedges are excellent vehicles for ketchup delivery.
“I know a lot of people hate Aikman/Buck, but I never thought this pair was all that bad. I have a theory that people who think these guys are the worst are all NFC East fans.”
It’s partly this and also just that there is a massive hate bandwagon in general towards Joe Buck specifically that has existed since he took over the A-team back in the early-to-mid 2000s. It was kind of deserved before 2010, since Buck tried very hard to replicate Pat Summerall back then and gave some of the most bland commentary you’ll ever hear. When you make a play as iconic as the Helmet Catch sound like a routine 5 yard slant rout on 1st down, there’s something very wrong (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxiHMIM4NWI).
That being said, he’s significantly improved since that point. It’s hard to keep trashing the guy when he has arguably the best call in playoff history. I mean come on, listen to this and try to tell me that you don’t get kind of excited (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJzpoj_NxqQ). And that’s just one of a few really great moments on his plate in recent memory. Also, if there’s one thing I’ve always liked about Buck/Aikman, it’s that they’ve always known exactly when to shut up and let the atmosphere of the moment speak for itself. I can see why people don’t care for them, but I honestly enjoy listening to their commentary.
I’ve never heard anyone else say WHY they don’t like Collinsworth, so I appreciate your reply on that. I still disagree and think he’s one of the better ones at actually breaking down the game, and not just telling the pre-scripted storylines. But I also think the Chiefs, Patriots, and Steelers are good teams, so I don’t mind some gushing over them if it’s fact-based.
I agree that Joe Buck has improved, but there’s something about the Buck/Aikman combo I don’t love. I definitely feel like I can tell an ex-Cowboys QB is calling a Dallas game when it’s them, in a way I don’t feel it with Romo (and didn’t generally with Gannon and the Raiders).
Buck and Aikman have improved significantly as they’ve loosened up. Buck was trying to be too serious too much and Aikman would just mess up and fumble about. Now Buck feels happy and loose and jokes around and Aikman gives no fucks. It’s still lacking, but I find them so much more tolerable than I used to
Collinsworth has gotten worse and worse. He started great. Then he started to fall into cliche spewing and his breakdowns and explanations are lazier and lazier and he’s so irritatingly smug in tone. He really does have a huge problem with focusing too hard on one guy even when not warranted. Al Michaels is still good but he seems to give less and less of a fuck and seems bored a lot. Romo is better at Collinsworth’s game now. A bit less informative, but more genuine enthusiasm.
I’d have to agree, compared to people like Aikman, Collinsworth, Moose, and the others, I could listen to Booger and not want to jab my eyes out, his word vomit was, at the very least, amusing.
I didn’t watch the Nickelodeon bit, but I assume you’re referring to Nate Burleson, who does an exceptional job on Good Morning Football, and should absolutely be offered a booth role… or were you referring to the kid they paired him with? XD
I would say Bojangles tastes how KFC smells. It’s great, and their chicken biscuits are delicious, but it’s not worth going out of your way to get. Disclaimer* Im from NC and its possible locations further from HQ have lower standards.
I came from Australia to get Bojangles. Would do it again in a heartbeat!
Raising Cane’s is pretty dope.
They just came to my area! I haven’t yet had the chance to try them.
It’s really good. They only do chicken tenders and they do them right.
Raising Cane’s is just Zaxby’s with less menu choices.
Bojangles is good as hell. Most chicken places are. KFC is garbage in the US, but amazing the moment you step outside the country.
did anyone else notice the booger coming out of Booger’s nose first time?
This is a move I always did in Madden as a joke
Korean fried chicken> any of the garbage fast food chains y’all gonna mention. I’d like to pair an old Korean grandma with an even older southern BBQ master to make the greatest fried chicken restaurant of all time.
I hope he works out and at least reduces Engrams time on the field. I’m tired of all the turnovers he causes.
In terms of fast food chicken the Arbys Chicken Bacon Swiss sandwich is vastly underrated. It was my favorite meal from a previous job near one when I had to work late.
The Widest Receiver. Heh.
At least Engram is better than whatever the Pats thought they had at the TE position last year.
As for chicken, I’ve only had Chick-Fil-A once when I was down in Charlotte, but the chicken at Price’s Chicken Coop was better. Wasn’t impressed with the BBQ in Charlotte, but maybe that’s because I didn’t enjoy the BBQ in KC either, I guess I’m just not a BBQ person.
I did have KFC last week for the first time in about a decade, and it really hit the spot. But, I also see why it’s an only once every five year thing. If you’re ever in Winnipeg, try Mitzi’s chicken fingers downtown, they’re melt in your mouth good!
I’ve been to Winnipeg once and I made it two blocks before I was sucked dry by the mosquitos
Legend has it that Mitzi’s invented honey dill sauce.
I nearly choked on my biscuit laughing
As a Panthers fan, I will not root for this comeback story. He’s been on my most hated list ever since he talked trash about cam on his way out when HE was the problem.
Saying Chick-fil-A is average will get you killed in some parts, especially where I lived in Georgia.
Super overrated; it’s just fast food.
I agree that it’s overrated, but saying that where I used to live was like starting a war. I still prefer it over most fast food though. Only thing that stops me from going to Chick-fil-A is the long ass line at the drive thru.
I think it’s the Popeyes appearance causing me to think this way, but I can’t help but see a passing resemblance between Gettleman and Colonel Sanders here.
I always liked Kyle Rudolph, but the Vikings are in full rebuild mode (again) so off he went. I hope he does well on the Giants, but it being the Giants….
More Laterals!
More Laterals!
More Laterals!
Laterals and clapping. They go… hand in hand. (I hate me so much for that.)
Ohh hurhur, I read that wrong. Thought you were picking on Garrett’s play calling.
Dave. IFL is on YouTube 😉
Dave, are you from Maryland and never had Royal Farms chicken? I just moved here and had it twice and was blown away that a place that sells gas can make chicken that good. They always pack so much in the box it’s exploding and it’s super greasy, but once you start you can’t stop because it’s the most addictive substance on earth.
I avoid gas station food and have never even stopped at a royal farms
this reminds me, you never revisited the hot sauce thread from… i dunno even when. you try some new ones? I NEED YOUR HOT (sauce) TAKES!