Josh Gordon Meets His Grim Fate
There was once a point in time when I felt bad for Josh Gordon. Sure, he had some issues and should probably stop smoking that devil weed if he wanted to have a career, but the NFL’s attitude about pot is incredibly outdated and one of Gordon’s tests was failed by the absolute smallest degree and yet it still screwed him over. I’m perfectly fine with NFL players smoking weed. It doesn’t help their performance at all, and if anything probably helps them deal with the lingering pain they suffer from violently slamming into each other every Sunday for our amusement.
But I think Gordon has worn out any good will he had left at this point with the most recent news that he failed another drug test in his effort to get reinstated by the NFL. I mean my god man, take a freaking break for just a bit. He could be making untold millions of fat stacks and lighting up stadiums with sick catches if he could just, you know, not smoke pot for a bit. It’s safe to say he’s a moron at this point and we should probably stop considering him as a football player and start thinking about him as that pothead who put up great numbers one year when he wasn’t quite as stoned. Gordon and Johnny Trainwreck deserve each other. Maybe one day someone will wander down a back alley in Cleveland and they’ll see a homeless man pull a sick juke around another hobo and lob a wine bottle 40 yards downstreet to a hobo running a post route. And that someone will have that faint ping of nostalgia where you know that you know something, but you can’t explain why or how. Then that someone will get mugged and shot because don’t wander down back alleys in Cleveland.
Lastly, I’m more proud of that pun in the background of the first panel than I am in most full comics
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Josh Gordon is either addicted, or he’s the biggest moron alive. I’ve never heard of someone being addicted to pot, but it’s about the only thing that I can think of that’d explain his complete disregard for sanity here, and I guess theoretically speaking, it’s possible for the brain to become addicted to virtually anything that provides a dopamine release.
If he’s an addict, he needs serious help, and I really hope he gets it, because we’re losing an innocent person and an incredible football player to a disease if he is. If he’s not an addict though, he’s indescribably dumb. Like even from an “All I want to do is smoke weed” perspective he’s being stupid. Stay clean for two years, get a nine-digit contract, never worry about money again, and have enough of it that you can spend the rest of your days literally doing nothing but getting high. Even if you look at it as all he wants to do is smoke weed, it makes no sense.
He’s either very sick and needs help, or he’s an idiot on-par with a Darwin Award-winner. Shame that he’s probably the only person who really knows which it is, and we’ll likely never get a straight answer from him either way.
Josh Gordon woukd be more than welcome in the Arena League, even if it was just a publicity stunt (Although he’ll probably end up in Canada, where Marijuana is already legal), and the 1-1 Cleveland Gladiators, who are hosting the equally 1-1 LA KISS at 7:30pm on Saturday night (CBS Sports Network), could use him (assuming the Browns cut him). LA was just blown out by Arizona and Cleveland did just beat Tampa, but Arizona blows out everyone and it looks like anyone can beat Tampa, so the KISS should beat the Gladiators, who are stuck using a 3rd string/hobo off the street for the rest of the season.
0-2 Tampa Bay Storm with a point differential of -64 going to Phoenix to play a 2-0 Arizona Rattlers team with a point differential of +93. This game won’t ever be close, Zona by like 50. (9pm on Saturday; ESPN3)
TThe third game of the week will see 0-2 Portland go north to play 1-1 Philly. Portland is not good (despite their best efforts), the Soul are good. Philly should win this 4:00pm Sunday afternoon matinee on ESPN 2
Last game of the week features extremely inconsistent J’ville hosting their rivals 200 miles to the south, the 2-0 Orlando Predators, who have coasted against the 2 worst teams in the league. If the good Sharks offense shows up in the second half , J’ville wins, if the Preds defense gets as much as 1 stop (drive that doesn’t end in a touchdown), or has the lead at any point in trh second half, than Orlando comes closer to proving they’re for real. (Monday, 7pm, ESPN3).
Can I just say I love your AFL posts? I’d try to get into it this year, but DC is getting a team in 2017, and I’m closer to DC than Philly or Cleveland or anywhere else in the AFL right now, so I don’t want to form any connection with another team first.
That’s fine, Also, next year there might be teams in Sacramento (my guess is league owned Portland being sold to the Kings owners of the nba) San Antonio (even if the talons failed there only 2 years ago under the last commissioner (yes I know I mispeled it)), and possibly up to 3 teams I’m Mexico (A Univision deal is already set in place this year, and the Arena Bowl could be played there come august).
Fuck was I wrong
GO STEELERS
this’n makes me want to grab a real corn dog if you know what im saying
Didn’t he fail one of these tests due to alcohol and not weed? How does that even work considering it isn’t a banned substance? I don’t agree with but can understand the punishments for weed, the continuing his suspension because of testing positive for a permissible substance last year is where I’m confused.
He has to stay sober because of a DUI arrest, I believe.
I ingested opium. RIP me
I laughed hardcore at your hobos in Cleveland idea.
This gag needed more Johnny F, Johnny and Josh a pair of misfits, drinking and puffing their way through life together… -___-
Or Gordon picking Johnny up from the scene of a hit-and-run accident after leaving a night club he had partied at for the 5th or 6th night in a row (Manziel doesn’t recall which… for some reason).
In college, Gordon and teammate Willie Jefferson (who was cut by the Texans in 2013 for breaking “team rules”) were arrested for marijuana possession after falling asleep in a Taco Bell drive thru, a sure contender for a “most stoner thing possible” award. Gordon was given another chance before being dismissed from the team the following year for similar trouble, Jefferson had already used his second chances at this point.
Gordon clearly has a problem, he failed to stay sober in college and has managed to get some level of suspension in 3 of his 4 NFL seasons. It is sad to see, because he is a great talent.
I mean really, regardless of the Shield’s supposed reasons for banning weed (most of witch I think are pretty dumb), if you get caught doing something that’s against the rules, and are disciplined multiple times throughout college and the Pros, maybe at a certain point you might stop thinking you can still get away with it, because clearly you can’t. After that point just hold off smoking until you retire in 6-10 years, given the massive opportunity for payday presented to you if you simply don’t toke for a few years, when your all done you can blaze every day for the rest of your life if you want…
Man, does that factory of 🙁 hat actually exist? It really really should
Even so, Adam Jones tried to kill Amari Cooper at the beginning of the season, and he only got a fine. Something doesn’t add up hear
Probably my spelling of here
I firmly believe this is beyond simple stupidity. This is addiction, plain and simple.
He clearly has an issue, addiction or not…hell I can’t even stand the smell of weed.
That GOTdamn DEVIL’S LETTUCE.
Honestly, I can’t fathom how stupid Josh Gordon must be in order to find himself in this situation. I am sympathetic to addiction, really, but even IF he is addicted, he obviously hasn’t gotten the help he needs. I honestly don’t give a crap if people want to smoke weed – it’s not my thing but whatever – but if you’re giving up generational money because you can’t stop getting high? GTFO.
It’s so frustrating because he was so freaking good! Same with Justin Blackmon.
This may be the best comic you’ve made to date
I think you put this one out there 6 days too early