Johnny Manziel gets his wish
So Johnny Football is now Johnny Cleveland Football. Hopeful but will likely ultimately just make you feel kind of sad.
I’m one of those guys who still thinks Bridgewater is the best QB in the draft and will continue to be and that the Vikings got a steal. I’m not in love with Johnny Dollar signs, but it’s mostly because I’m scared for him. I haven’t watched all his games or studied him closely, but I’ve gotten the general gist of him and I just worry he’s going to be the new RG3. Absolutely incredible until he breaks.
When I watch Johnny SEC do his thing, I spend a lot of time simultaneously amazed and ready to wince. It feels like the big hit that ruins him forever is always just about to happen, but then it doesn’t. I felt the same way watching RG3 in his rookie year. He was amazing to watch, but you could just feel the hammer coming. He scrambled and did his feats of athleticism with such wild abandon for himself. Soon enough, he got hurt, and while the jury is ultimately still out on whether or not he’ll return to form, many of us have our doubts that he will ever be the same. I felt the same way about Vick’s running around.
I never got this feeling watching Wilson, or Rodgers, or even Kaep, Cam & Romo. They all take hits, but they seem more conservative and controlled in their actions when they run around, Wilson/Rodgers especially. It feels like intelligent, purposeful scrambling in an attempt to extend the play just a bit and see if anything can be made of it. With RG3 and Johnny Autograph, it feels like trying to force the issue too often. They don’t give up on a broken play when sometimes they should. I dunno, it’s hard to describe without sounding like a dummy who doesn’t know anything, but his style just feels unsustainable when you compare it to watching Wilson and Rodgers run around.
I was also far less worried about Johnny Mafia in the 20 hours before we find out Josh Gordon is probably suspended for a year. Now he’s Johnny No One To Throw To. I hope he is able to do his thing on an NFL level, because he’s so fun to watch, but I also hope he doesn’t rely on it because it won’t give him a long career otherwise. I’m excited to see what he can do.
The one fucking team you weren’t supposed to go to.
Besides Jacksonville.
It’s OK, folks. I have it on good authority that the Browns will be signing Earl Bennett. Johnny’s future is saved.
Relevant http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/sadness-week-3-the-qb-cemetery/
Manziel without Gordon is going to be broken. AFC north defenses are good – and even when they’re not, they still hit as hard as any other division – and without Gordon, all the time in the world Mack and Thomas can buy won’t mean a thing. He could’ve survived the AFC south with Houston. He could’ve survived the NFC north with Minnesota. He could’ve survived the NFC south with Tampa. He couldn’t have survived the NFC west with Arizona, and he won’t survive the AFC north with Cleveland.
Not only did he go to cleveland, but he fell to 22 to do so…
The Factory of Sadness has new fuel to burn.
Here’s how it will go down: Hoyer will win out in training camp and start the season. He leads the team to 2-2 record after beating ratbirds and titans. Against the squealers in week 6, he gets knocked out w/ concussion. Enter JFF, who blows up for 5 td’s end route to a lopsided win. Hoyer’s concussion keeps him out for another 3 weeks, while JFF just keeps winning behind a tough o line and a shutdown defense. By the time Hoyer is healthy enough to return, he finds himself relegated to second fiddle. The browns finish 11-5 and snag the 3 seed in afc. Manziel leads them to afc championship game- against the Broncos. Midway thru 2nd, Manziel is hit hard on a scramble and suffers a concussion. Hoyer seizes his chance and leads the team to it’s first super bowl appearance, where he completes his triumphant return by besting the 49ers.
::gulps down the rest of the kool-aid straight from the punchbowl::
Go Browns.
I see your logic.
Well then can one of you pass me the shrooms you’re enjoying together?
There’s always room for one more.
Come on dude, don’t give shrooms a bad rap like that. This man is very clearly hooked on Krokodil.
How the hell do they do this without competent WRs???
You mean to tell me the troika of Miles Austin, Nate Burleson and Andrew Hawkins isn’t competent?
As a Longhorns fan I am shelling out the two hundo for the channel upgrade + Sunday ticket just so I can drink in the schadenfreude sixteen times a year.
You know, to balance out the suicide attempts after the Cowboys give up five consecutive TDs to Matt Flynn
Did you see Manziel on the phone? He looked PISSED.
I stumbled onto your website the other day and have been binging through them. This one gave me the biggest and loudest laugh.
Meanwhile, the Jaguars are looking pretty good, while Johnny Football couldn’t even last 3 years in Cleveland.
I called it from the start. I said Bortles would be the first QB taken. Said Bridgewater would be a huge steal. And said Manziel would be a bust.
I should work for ESPN damnit.