JJ Watt bleeds for America
I watched the first episode of Hard Knocks and I’m not sure JJ Watt could get more stereotypical good ol boy American hero unless he could talk to eagles and was named Abe Manifest Destiny Washington. I watch him and I think about movie football players, you know the team captain from Friday Night Lights type inspirational characters who are just too perfect and have the sweet girlfriend before something goes wrong and the guy dies or something, only JJ Watt didn’t die he lived and now plays DE in Texas (dear god he really is the stereotype isn’t he?). I’m still not convinced he actually bleeds when his nose gets busted, it’s probably just pints of blood that don’t feel worthy of his body so it leaves in shame. He’s Chuck Norris jokes but football.
He’s so great he’s practically a cartoon character and I’m sort of waiting to see something bad come out that completely ruins his reputation. Maybe not Bill Cosby levels, but something bad just feels like it has to come out because nobody is that great a person. He does seem just a touch arrogant with the selfie thing, he lied about the cabin in the woods and when Mett needlessly zinged him again he used the ultimate macho bro douche line of “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of a sheep”, which I always hated as a phrase because by using it you are effectively acknowledging the sheep’s opinions. If you truly don’t care, you don’t talk about it and you just don’t. That’s why I kind of love Jay Cutler.
But really these are tiny, tiny imperfections in the armor that is JJ Watt’s perfection. If he ever reads this he’ll probably give me a wink and a smile while saving orphans from a burning house during an earthquake.
Credit where it’s due, seeing J.J. be inhumanly perfect on Hard Knocks has inspired me to rededicate myself to getting back down to my high school weight and getting back in shape, but it was almost funny at the same time, because it just got more and more ridiculous how perfect the guy is. “Okay, he’s flipping thousand-pound tires. …Over sixty times. …And now he’s kicking ass in practice. …And now he’s being friendly to the fans. …And now he’s staying two hours after everyone else left to beat up a practice dummy. …And to practice one-handed catches. …And to do sprints. …And now he’s staying a third hour after the end of practice to make sure every Texans fan there gets an autograph and a picture. …And now he’s rescuing Obama from the communist-nazi division of ISIS. …And now he’s bridging the partisan gap to create an effective US government. …And now he’s successfully negotiating a lasting peace between Israel and Palestine.”
(Fun fact: I counted the number of shots with Watt as the focus. The total came out to 83 in 55 minutes, for an average of 1.5 Watts Per Minute.)
The only intersting about the Texans are J.J. Watt and Arian Foster’s philosophy lessons on life.
Wait till tonight’s episode. The preview focused on LB Brian Cushing. They made him look like a crazed maniac in 1-on-1 drills. Also, Clowney is practicing now, so expect him to be focused on in one of the later episodes
Does that work out to 1.21 JJ Watts?
That was a thing of beauty, Dave.
Sounds like someone has a crush.
It would have been Eli, but that would be illegal.
Well obviously its illegal to have a relationship of that kind with someone who sniffs glue.
A glue-sniffer, maybe. But dude’s got a Hall of Fame career in the works.
Can someone please explain the “Eli hall of fame” argument to me? Because I hear it from a lot of people – mostly Giants fans – and the only basis I can think of for it is “More rings than Peyton and he beat Brady twice”.
I’m far from a Giant’s fan, but…
Eli has 2 Super Bowl rings. So far, the only multi-ring QB not in the Hall (who is eligible), is Simms.
Eli is in the top 15 career passing yards, completions, and Touchdowns– and he has a very good chance to be top 10 by year’s end, and a very good shot to be top 6 by the time he retires.
Eli has never missed a start. This is part of Favre’s legacy, but Eli’s got a decent shot of passing Favre”s mark… or at least, he has the best shot of any player currently in the NFL.
Add in his market (Big market means more attention means maybe 1-2 more votes) and his family name, I think he has a pretty darned solid shot. Maybe not first-ballot, but I really don’t see a way he doesn’t eventually make the Hall if his career continues as is for even just one year. And he probably has 5-6 years left at a bare minimum– and if he gets to that point uninjured, he may well just keep going until he misses a start or passes Favre.
Correction, I derped– Plunkett, not Simms.
Did Mettenburger get caught with steroids, because that’s pathetic if he can’t harm Watt even with a knife and ‘roids.
Well, there’s a running joke about Tennessee being the meth capitol of the world
He produced a “diluted urine sample” before the draft, which the NFL typically treats as a positive test, but I don’t know whether it would be considered a positive PED test or substance abuse test.
For the record, most data I find lists Tennessee as being #2 for meth, behind Missouri, though I think a lot of the information isn’t very complete.
For a second, I thought the panel of the guy screaming was Watt, so enraged at a football player taking a selfie that he stumbled into Mettenburger’s carefully laid trap to cut him.
“because nobody is that great a person” I know, his levels of perfection are just outlandish and hard to believe, but doesn’t that just say something about how jaded you and I are that we can never accept a person at face value to be totally honor driven and pure because we have given up on the idea of such things existing in our world? It’s kind of sad… 🙁
I don’t think it’s being jaded, I think it’s being an adult and being more aware of human reality. If I was a kid he’d be a hero, now he just feels like a cartoon character.
Oh, he’s definitely a cartoon character (for more then one reason), but I just think being adults doesn’t mean we need to automatically give up on hope and immediately assume a “good person” can’t exist. Sure 99% of people are shitty, but there must be a tiny percentage that aren’t, the law of large numbers says amongst seven billion people not everyone can be a self serving jerk… ;P
I mean I still think he’s a great guy
I just wonder what his flaws are because his current persona is too good
I remember seeing a tweet recently about Watt saying this:
“People don’t hate Watt.
People hate that Watt reminds them that they’re lazy.”
Man. It’s because of this kind of thinking why DC insists on showing us “I’ll break your neck while I brood” Superman.
If you’re talking about the log cabin being more like a log mansion, all I have to say is, compared to his regular home, maybe it is a “minimalistic” log cabin.
This is beautiful
Mettenberger looks like Francis from PvP in his first frame. Has Kurtz been told?
jj watt girlfriends lindsey pelas cheat on him with her ex old boyfriends named derek fisher .and jj watt girlfriends lindsey pelas . and her ex old boyfriends derek fisher they kiss each other on the lips too each other with passionately lindsey pelas .and her ex old boyfriends derek fisher .and jj watt girlfriends lindsey pelas .and her ex old boyfriends derek fisher they haveing sex too each other with passionately lindsey pelas . and her ex old boyfriends derek fisher . and sorry jj watt you need broke up with your girlfriends lindsey pelas@