Jim Irsay Gets Hacked
Jim Irsay tweeted a vagina (Don’t view that link at work) and then pulled out the classic “I got hacked!” defense. Hacked, he says. Jim Irsay got hacked. I mean, I guess it could have actually been a hacking. Does anyone really think Jim Irsay got hacked? Like, fully believe he got hacked, not just acknowledged it’s possible. Anything is possible. I might be a transformer, you don’t know. *Shifty eyes*
Whenever situations like this happen (hilariously frequently), I find it’s best practice to pretend I’m the hacker and consider what the hack accomplishes, and then compare it to the next most likely explanation. So I’m a hacker. I have access to Colts Billionaire Owner Jim Irsay’s account. What do I do with that power? I post a fairly tame pic of a vagina. Ya know, as you do. In a weak display of power. Remember when the NFL twitter account got hacked and posted a tweet about how Roger Goodell died? That was a good hack. Not a great hack, but at least it was obvious it got hacked and the hacker clearly achieved their goal of causing some mischief. What does posting a vagina really do? Man, if I was going to post some porn on an account I found, I would get the really weird stuff. A cropped picture of a woman’s bare lower half is just lame, practically mundane in the internet porn age. Weak shit, hacker, if you exist.
I think the most obvious answer is the usual suspect. Irsay meant to send it as a PM or something and accidentally hit the wrong button. Irsay isn’t known for mental stability and has tweeted many strange things before, the idea of him accidentally sending a picture out feels so much more likely than the next scenario. It’s part of what makes him Jim Irsay. This is why we love you, Jim, take credit for your desires. You admire that vagina.
This is the coda paragraph where I acknowledge that Irsay tweeted that he was hacked two weeks prior to this incident and may have indeed been hacked. We don’t know any more about that first hack. He just claimed he was hacked. No vaginas that time. So it’s all speculation at this point, but considering the honestly fairly mundane result of the hack, I choose to believe ol’ pills mcgee was having himself a nice private hand party at some point and possibly copied the picture to the clipboard, went to tweet something else later, forgot what he had actually copied, and wasn’t paying close enough attention before he hit send. I’ve done it before. You think you have the right link but you actually have the previous thing you copied, and twitter is pretty slow to display previews at times so he probably just assumed it was right and didn’t really look, hit the button, and put it down. Then figured it out 12 minutes later.
While drunk the whole time.
I feel awful for Irsay. He will never be who anyone wants him to be no matter what he does. And he does a lot. Too much. But it still seems like, to me at least, he is a grown man trying desperately to get someone to relate with him… I assume he was looking at porn and hit the share button(why the fuck does that exist?). Hacked is easier to explain than alone and sad.
Fuck Irsay. He’s a drug addicted piece of shit.
Shame on you…he has done so much for our state
I’m just going to say he has hacked because of the other possibilities
A.) Somehow Irsay saw that in person and thought “I’ll take a picture!” or B.) Irsay, in his position and wealth, needs to look at porn to get off.
It’s just much more comfortable for everyone involved to say he was hacked.
This is probably just another case of social media buttons on porn striking again, like with that Miami Herald reporter. Irsay probably just woke up horny from his drug-induced stupor, had no poon available to him at the time and couldn’t be arsed to wait for someone to get there and decided to take matters into his own hands.
To be fair IIRC there were a couple other tweets afterwords that were just tagging people that would bring it to attention. I actually believe in this case yes he was hacked since evidence actually suggests the possibility of it for once.
When is Irsay NOT drunk?
Is it admissible in court if it’s just Irsay?
braVO, sir.
I will never apologize…
The Blues Brothers would be proud
Happy Bobby Bonilla Day
Also, Arena Football Recap Week 12
https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLxatORgsVMJUe6wqCctLl5mvH-waPdNab&v=AOJ5h1d0OO0
Happy Canada Day. I know no one cares but too bad
the proper past tense of “tweet’, especially in this case, is “twat”.
Great work as always, but damn, I didn’t know Irsay had two right hands!
I mean, don’t you?
Wait, is this not normal?
OH GOD I’M A MONSTER