Jason Pierre-Paul Becomes A Buccaneer
Thanks for your many years of big blue service, Jason.
I’ll never forget you doing backflips before the draft. I’ll never forget the Giants selecting you and saying “who the fuck?” before remembering you were backflips guy. I’ll never forget that time you blocked the Dallas field goal and helped propel us to the playoffs for a second run. I’ll never forget the Patriots being afraid of you because you have freakishly long octopus arms. I’ll never forget when you dunked Prince Amukamara in an ice tub and how everyone got really upset for a week. No one will ever forget how you blew your own hand to smithereens and then Adam Schefter lost most of his credibility as a person when he shared your medical records without permission. I’ll never forget your final hurrah two seasons ago, when you schooled the Browns and got half of your season sack total in one game, which resulted in the bloated contract the Giants have only now dealt with. You weren’t always great, but you were an above average DE for many years and the fanbase will look back upon you fondly. Thank you.
I’m sad to see him go but I wasn’t surprised to see it happen. The contract we gave him after 2016 was way too much considering how his production had bled off. JPP could be really good but he’d disappear a lot as a pass rusher and for a while we just couldn’t get sacks. We were going to cut him next year anyway unless he went nutso this season which I doubt would have happened. I also don’t know if he fits our new DC’s plans. We saved very little money this season but hey, the Bucs got a solid vet and we got a decent pick and we clear up cap space to extend OBJ and Landon Collins a bit later.
JPP’s best days are far behind him but I wish him well in Tampa. It’s gonna be weird seeing him in a Bucs jersey. To everyone out there in football joke land, I implore you: if you want to make a hook-buccaneers-JPP joke, try to not make the obvious one. That was my goal here.
Going back to OBJ for a second simply because it is current news: Yes, we are extending OBJ. I know much has been made out of him going elseware in recent days thanks to his antics, Gettleman’s history, blah blah blah but ignore all of the noise until something actually happens. OBJ is a media circus and his contract talk was always going to be a massive case of nonsense with everyone trying to find the right edge because “Star player gets big contract” isn’t that exciting. “Giant headache that may have gone too far and may shake things up” is very exciting, even if it is bullshit. Most of the “could be traded, and possibly to the Rams” crap that came out yesterday came from Pat Leonard. If you are unfamiliar with Pat Leonard, he works for the New York Daily News (also bad) and is the guy who basically said “Matt Patricia to the Giants is a done deal” for about 2 days before Patricia signed with Detroit. Pat Leonard is a hack who pulls shit out of his butt for headlines, and everyone who quoted him for a story (Like B/R) was just using OBJ rumors for #content. Ignore it. OBJ may end up getting traded but nobody should actually expect it.
JPP is an absolute stud in run D. People seem to fixate on him as a pass rusher, and define him by that, but realistically hes an average pass rusher and a fantastic run defender. He was a key reason we could mitigate Zeke Elliot two years ago, and I think he will be sorely missed. Vernon strikes me as more expendable than JPP actually.
Funny like hell! Great work.
Giants Suck!
Had McApoop remains a coach, I would have agreed.
Well, on the bright side, at least we have more space to sign more random free agents and so John Mara can dump his life savings on Odell
What’s the rando last paragraph?
Will there still be a 4th of July JPP comic?
I bet this will happen in week one
I wouldn’t have had JPP running Pike’s I’M A MONSTAH line from Critical Role. He’s clearly more like Victor the Black Powder merchant.
“Learn from my mistakes!”
Don’t think it was a Critical Role reference – betting it was Buster Bluth (Arrested Development) due to the hook hand.
YOLO
Man, fuck Schefter for releasing that medical chart. That’s the sleeziest thing I’ve seen a reporter do in a very long time.
So how about the new catch rules?
Like I said in the last comic, this is Tampa getting an ex-USF player because USF is popular right now. Blatant Expansion/Minor League move, even if JPP is (probably) still good-ish.
He haven’t been the same since the firecracker incident, at least JPP does gets to sack the shit out of Schefter.
With that said, it kinda shows how special Strahan was as at least he didn’t mess with a firecracker. Here’s hoping that OBJ gets his act together but what’s the use?
Main reason why I would love to see OBJ win the SB with the Giants? Imagine all the haters from the media reacting to this, that would have been nice.
The Giants are paying lip service to the ultimatum they gave him, but no one is gonna give them two 1s for a one year rental of a transcendent player who can’t stay on the field. Gettleman knows that or he wouldn’t have publicized his price.
The extremely high price tells OBJ two things:
1. They’re willing to trade him if they have to, so he’s not untouchable; and
2. He’s still valuable enough to them to effectively franchise him in his walk year.
And hey, if someone is willing to give up two 1s for him, it’s a ridiculous ransom even for a player as good as he is.
I don’t think I would mind that one.
Watch the Browns do it, cause factory. Or Miami, cause desperate 4 champion of off-season
Every player is tradeable for the right price. If a team offered 3 firsts I’d ship OBJ in a heartbeat.
But “cant stay on the field”? Why do people think Beckham is injury prone? He missed a couple games year one due to a hamstring issue and he missed most of this season on an injury caused by an awkward tackle that would have fucked up pretty much anyone. He missed 1 game due to suspension, and another due to a dirty pre-season hit by the Gregg Williams Brpwns defense. A couple of injuries should be expected in this sport, not label someone injury prone.