Jamie Collins Doesn’t Like Dogs
Well it was nice knowing Jamie Collins, he’s dead now. RIP. Don’t cross Billy 5 Aces.
I kind of love it when Billy Boy does one of his out of nowhere trades of a good player for a random draft pick because the response is pretty much always the same. First people are kind of just shocked, because it’s so out of left field. Then we have two different responses. Pats fans are angry, and everyone else starts laughing because the Pats just traded away a good player. Then the details of the trade begin to come to light, and it turns into a sort of murder investigation with everyone trying to pinpoint the motive. Why was he released? Why exactly would they do it now? Who has behind it? Who stands to gain? Was it with the lead pipe in the library?
Then the best phase happens, the rationalization and the public thrashing by Patriots fans as they jump over themselves to explain how this was actually calculated brilliance and that the player was actually always kind of shit. This rationalization is always a pleasure and it’s certainly not limited to Patriots fans, it’s pretty much the de-facto response from everyone when their team lets a loved free agent walk. But it remains hilarious just the same. By the time this blog post is read by you, I’m sure hundreds of defenses of the action have already been written praising Billy’s insight.
Billy 5 Aces has turned enough shit to gold that honestly, its hard to not give him the benefit of the doubt even when things feel highly questionable. But really, he’s in Cleveland now, RIP Jamie Collins. I think one of the reasons Billy actually does get all the blind faith credit is that the Patriots are still the best team in the league at maximizing talent level in their system and culture, and that’s why so many players who leave New England end up sucking. So yeah, Jamie was a good player (was, RIP) but Billy has been a savage to so many players before I think he’s earned the benefit of the doubt. As a side note, it’s kind of amusing to me that outside Brady, Gronk, or Edelman, Pats fans really can’t get attached to anyone because every other player on that team feels one loud fart from being dumped in a move that will eventually be called brilliant.
Also congrats to Gronk on his 69th touchdown, may he have a 6th grader’s sense of humor forever.
And lastly, in the interest of starting another comment flame war on a Patriots comic, Dogs > Cats. Dogs are the GOAT companion. Cats are good, but Dogs man, Dogs are the best.
Cats4lyfe!
Also, as an insufferable patsfan who is in full agreement with, of all things, a Giants fan I have literally all the trust in the world that “Billy 5 Aces” did us right again and I haven’t even investigated it yet. It’s far too 3:33AM for that.
I heard he admitted that he agreed with Dave that Tom isn’t the GOAT…
Dogs are the best
Go Indians
I cannot believe that my Indians are going to blow a 3-1 lead…kill me now
We did it.
Warriors fans have their vengeance.
Man fuck dogs. Cats are the best.
high five
die
I’m so glad I googled “GPODAWUND” – don’t know how I missed that, but thank you.
Even the Browns official Twitter feed is owning it at this point. It’s just such a Browns thing to happen.
The motives aren’t hard to follow. Belichick didn’t want to pay Collins $15M a year and he doesn’t think he needs him to win. He was gonna get a third round comp in 2018 if Collins walks, so instead he gets a third round comp in 2017. The Browns get a potential cornerstone defender for, at worst, deferring the third round comp pick one year when they were going to have a glut of early picks anyway. Good trade for both, and probably for Collins as well.
Cats4Lyfe
I can’t rationalize this move. Ever. Chandler Jones was one thing. In my opinion that’s still a terrible trade, but I can kinda see why he did it. Jones was great, but only has a couple of good years left in him, and we have a lot of talent so we could replace him.
But Collins? Collins was arguably the best player on our defense. He was the man on that defense. And we just gave him away. We didn’t trade him to get some help on the OL. We didn’t trade him for a decent corner. Not even a decent drwft pick. We got a 3rd round pick. A THIRD ROUND COMPENSATORY DRAFT PICK. THAT’S NOTHING.
Maybe this could just be another “brilliant Belichick move”, and I’m just being salty, but it’s hard for me to rationalize this move. It’s just stupid.
As one pats fan to another, wait. When we traded jones, we got cooper and a 2nd rounder. Cooper was cut, but that 2nd turned into Thuney, our starting guard and Malcolm Mitchell who looks to be a fantastic WR. So it may not be apparently obvious. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Bill sent him to Cleveland for the trade and to lower his value. Because he’s a free agent at the end of this year, his value may plummet once he gets into free agency and then the pats may resign him for cheap. In Bill We Trust.
The fucking reason we traded Chandler was to keep Collins and Hightower ffs
Dogs are best.
Also: the explanation I’ve heard is dude A) wanted a Von contract (and the Pats best hope of a supplemental if they lost him was a late 3rd rounder), and B) in pursuit of that contract, he’s been aiming for big, name-making plays instead of following instructions and minding his assignments. I’ll bet the Patriots could have nailed a 2nd rounder if they’d *REALLY* tried, but I think banishing him to Cleveland was both a punishment and a warning to his own players. I love it.
Dogs. Not even close. Cats are a garbage pet. They are passable if you think of them as aloof roommates who expect you to pay for food and clean up after them, but who needs another one of those?
You make cats sound like Babies but without the fun of creating them
We’re getting some real emotion out of Billy in this comic. I love Muffins too, Bill.
The superiority of Dogs to cats is not an argument, but a factual certainty.
Therefore there is no logic in debating it.
You misspelled inferiority.
Any enemy of Muffins is an enemy of mine.
Dogs are just system pets though a Cat takes care of itself
Truth!
Jamie went from 7-1 to 0-8 in this trade, a -0.875 differential. Surely must be one of the worst in NFL history for an individual player. What a change in locker room atmosphere. Now I’m really wishing the Pats were 8-0 so it could be known as the “undefeated to winless” trade.
Also, agree that dogs are better than cats. Unconditional love. Unwavering loyalty. Uninhibited emotions that never fail to brighten up your day. Case closed.
Cats 4 life. Also, I know Billy missed his Wilfork; but damn his replacement is different.
Muffins will catch 10 touchdowns by the end of the season
You’re dead to me.
Dogs are so much better than cats. Cats are boring and dumb
probably because you’re boring and dumb
Zing!
anyways how about that field dildo
Come on, Dave. There’s two weeks with a tie game in a row, and you go with a comic about Jamie Collins?
Thursday
Yes
sometimes I have a good idea for one thing and nothing for another
Hey Dave,
Check bleacher reports new gridiron heights epsiode(#8). Its literally a ripoff of your richard sherman delivery interception comic from after Super Bowl 49.
Tru, except this time it’s about Wilson’s kid
Do you think the Pats just left Jamie in Buffalo, made him hitchhike to Cleveland?
The only thing I really wanted to comment about here is that I love the way you depict the Patriots as like a cult of morons lorded over by the Great and Powerful Hoodie. On another note, we’ve also felt this way about Edelman. We nearly had a repeat of Welker a couple years ago, thinking we were about to lose our super-sly-slot-receiver-who-sometimes-has-butterfingers (though it turns out letting Welker go was a great thing – dude is SuperBowl kryptonite).
But yes. it is basically Game of Thrones up in Pats Nation.
Welker really only contributed directly to the loss of one of the three Super Bowls he played in. Can’t really put the blame on him for XLII or XLVIII.
That’s fair, but the fact remains the dude is 0-3 in Superbowls, and both teams he left won a Superbowl within a few years of him leaving. I feel bad for him more than anything.
I do too. Some players have good luck when it comes to being on championship teams (Brandon Browner), other players have bad luck (Welker).
I see what you did with the gpodawund it did not go unnoticed
All the hate on Cats. Cats >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Dogs fight me
I will, but if you’re in Boston you’re taking the pike west to the 413 cause I’m not driving into hell.
Oh wait, are you pro cats or pro dogs? Because it looks like we actually agree and I’m the dumb one for not realizing.
Pro cats man. Cats are like Brady, the GOAT.
Cats? Dogs? Por que no los dos?
Also, as a Pats fan – I’m confused by the Collins trade. I don’t buy into the whole “giving up on plays” as the reason he was traded. Plus I think it’s stupid to trash someone who’s done so much good for us just because they’re not on the team any more. All I heard was that he wanted a lot of money – more than what the Pats were willing to pay…but that’s just how it is on the Patriots. They rarely ever shell out big money for anybody. He wanted Von Miller money, but he wasn’t playing on a Von Miller level. Such is life. Hope Elandon Roberts can step up!
Also also Tom Brady is the GOAT fite me irl