Jameis Winston Prays For Salvation
Man, I wish that Jameis Winston wasn’t a sex pest. I wish it so much sometimes. Jameis is one of the most entertaining players of the past decade. He is an absolute mad lad, a yolo dumbslinger. He’s an extremely fun-loving goofball chaos machine. Look at this dude just fuck around like a weirdo, for a random promo graphic. He’s honestly kind of hilarious. Even the crab leg theft thing would be funnier than anything else. His “eat that W” speech might be the greatest pre-game bit I’ve ever witnessed, and it resulted in what I still think is one of my better comics. Honestly Jameis has given me some gold over the years. The man is a comedy machine.
He’s also incredibly entertaining on the football field. Jameis has an incredible ability to make any throw, and that includes every single dumb throw you can think of. The Browns/Broncos game this past weekend was another Jameis masterpiece even for a guy who has at no point ever played a boring game. He was slinging the shit out of that ball against Denver, and then the Browns lost because he also kept slinging the ball to Denver. Jameis is a wildcard of a QB the likes of which we rarely get. A guy with top-end talent and bottom-shelf impulses. The only other guy I can even think of with the same level of silly entertainment value was Fitzpatrick. But even Fitz had his boring moments. Jameis will never give you up, he will frequently let you down, give both teams the runaround, and hurt you. He finished the season last year giving Dennis Allen a well-deserved middle finger. Every turnover he makes is somehow the funniest shit you’ve ever seen. How can I not be endeared by a dude who straight up says he’s asking for deliverance from pick-sixes in his post-game press conference?
And then you instantly remember the other stuff. The probable rape at Florida State that was mishandled by the police department, possibly maliciously to allow him to keep playing. The uber driver groping incident that got him a 3 game suspension. His incredibly tone-deaf self-important speech after DeShaun Watson was booed after going down earlier this year. All that warm fuzzy enjoyment evaporates and you get hit with this emptiness that feels like we can’t have nice things. Why can’t the funny goofball football man just be a funny goofball football man for once? I want to root for Jameis so badly at times and I can’t. I have to sit here, hoping that he’s improved as a person without any real knowledge on if he has or not. It sucks.
Side note, when I was looking up old Jameis comics, I found this one about his Lasik surgery in 2020. Check out that final paragraph. Not that calling his appearance on the Browns hydra is a major prediction accomplishment, but I do think it’s funny I nailed that one perfectly.
Lol Jameis-rolled.
“Look, kid, if it didn’t work for Tebow, what makes you think you have a chance in hell?”
Winston´s Law- For every great throw, there is an equally terribly or worse throw
I see you’re keeping with the Simpsons theme this week with that alt text Dave
Winston’s 2019 stat line is absolutely sublime. 5,000+ yards, 33 TDs, 30 interceptions! No one had thrown 30 picks in a season since Ronald Reagan was president! It may well be that no one ever will again. Remarkable.
I truly believe that 5000+, 30/30 season will never, ever be broken. Heck, I’d argue a 30/30 season will never happen anyways, regardless of yards!
Someone has to give Winston’s PR team an award for scumbag-rehabilitation. Where Watson chose the head-in-the-sand-I’m-too-good-to-be-bad route…..Winston went full-goofball. It works alarmingly well…
I only have one explanation for Jameis’s three picks and two pick sixes on Monday night… he got his LASIK reversed before the game.
Yeah, I’d have replaced the final word bubble with something along the lines of “No, you fucking rapist.” >_>
If you need a funny goofball football man that’s a legitimately good person, there’s Cam Jordan (although he may have too much self-awareness in that Kittle kind of way), or spiritual successor and Pokemon fan Jamaal Williams. However, if you need him to also be a quarterback who is either great or terrible and there’s no in-between, I offer Texans comic relief Case Keenum.