It’s Time To Place Your Bets To Guess Who Dies
We’re finally here. Training camp for most teams begins this week. The void is almost over. So let’s guess what fanbase has their hopes and dreams for the season dashed before the season even begins.
There’s always one. Last year it was Derrius Guice for the Skins. I remember way back in 2008 when Osi tore his ACL before the season. The floor is always open for anyone to tragically die before week 1. We could have the final nail for a seasoned veteran who has had injury troubles before, but I feel like most of the time the player is a youngin who maybe worked himself too hard or not hard enough. Case in point, you could argue the Bengals already won this bet, as their 1st round rookie lineman is out for the year due to a shoulder injury. That’s why I drew his arm exploding on his draft card.
I don’t know why, but my personal gut feeling says “Falcons”. I feel like Calvin Ridley or Julio Jones is going down. I have nothing but a gut feeling, and my gut feelings are notoriously wrong, so Falcons fans should rest easy as I am not Nostradamus. It would be hilarious if I’m right though.
Who do you think is going down for the season before it starts? Hell, who do you secretly kinda hope goes down for the season before it starts? Nobody should root for injuries (that’s messed up), but I will never believe anyone who says they are genuinely upset when a rival team suddenly doesn’t have an important player on the field. If the Giants played the Cowboys and Zeke tripped on a ref and fell into the bench and broke his face I would feel terrible for Zeke because that sucks but I’m not gonna cry that Dallas just lost their main offensive weapon. Yeah, there is honor in beating a football team at full strength, but wins are so precious in a 16 game season that if we get a few cheapies due to a dice roll, fuck it. Most teams who last the season as powerhouses tend to be the ones who got lucky with injuries, and countless seasons have been lost due to injuries. Take the Ws where you can.
So I can’t wait to find out who gets to go to Injured Reserve first.
I stared at panel 2 for about a minute, casting my mind to the myriad of players/teams in the league and trying to see if something popped up in my mind that the ‘Death Pool’ didn’t already mention.
Eventually, my gut spat out two names, a player and a team.
The player: Deshaun Watson
The team: The Vikings
Like Dave, I’m not Nostradamus either, and my gut has an astounding propensity to be wrong, so I guess this means Vike fans can rest easy and Texans fans only have to pray that Watt stays healthy all season. *shrugs*
I’m gonna go with Josh Allen because:
1 – I want to see more of suddenly competent Matt Barkley.
2 – There are two of them! Double the odds!
well J.J Watt and Deandre Hopkins is on the PUP list now….so Texans off to a hot start
My gut has 2 options: Wentz with a shoulder injury. Tom Brady breaks an ankle.
Tom breaks an ankle running for a TD in slow motion
Now that beonard pollard is gone Tom Brady is more likely to be hospitalized for over hydration sense he is apperently consuming dangerous amounts of water.
High profile rookie or someone from an up and coming team, possibly the Browns maybe. What QB’s are in a make or break contract year? That may be a good choice too.
Mariota only has one year left on his deal possible leg injury?
He was my first thought, was thinking shoulder or elbow on throwing arm, which would mean Ryan Tannehill would likely start then BREAKOUT YEAR!!!!!!
Nah the Falcons will start the year on fire, then injuries will gradually reveal the lack of depth inherent to their stars-and-scrubs roster building; torpedoing a promising season.
Looks like you’re the closest without going over. Falcons sign JJ Wilcox to one year deal and promptly lose him to a torn ACL.
Something something Patrick Mahomes on the Madden cover.
I broadly agree with you on never hoping for injuries, but there is one player for whom I will always make an exception.
Here’s hoping Rapistburger eats shit in a career-ending manner in training camp.
I’d rather it come at the hands of Myles Garrett.
Give me Ryan Shazier, with a shot to the kidney, on a photo op for the press showing us just how far he’s come that also manages to wreck Roethelisberger’s (sp?) throwing arm when he lands on it funny.
I’m gonna say Antonio Brown trips over a cable during Hard Knocks filming and busts an arm or something and Gruden spends the rest of the season with permanent Chucky face.
Not sure how the first half of your prediction will go, but the second half is about as close to a sure thing as you can get in sports.
Eh, I’ll take Patty Mahomes with a dual ACL tear, Dave. That or Carson Wentz turning to dust on the field to punish Philly for forsaking the one true Saviour, Big Dick Nick.
Although it will likely be a sexy pick, but due to insane hype levels and the thoughts of “Can we finally win a Super Bowl?!”, I believe that (1) Mayfield breaks his right arm and (2) either OBJ or Landry suffers a devastating, season-ending injury that deflates Cleveland’s hopes. The Land of Infinite Sadness gets a small vacation before returning to The Neverending Sads Story.
LeVeon Bell tears his hamstring asunder; that’s as Jets as Jets can be.
Call these gimmes, but Wentz or QB Josh Allen seem highly likely.
Well, it’s not Julio or Ridley, but it is the Falcons:
https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1153356593259581440
Damn, that’s like LeCharles Bentley getting a career-and-almost-limb-ending knee injury on the first snap of training camp right after he signed with the Browns.
Is that Sexy Rexy on the bottom right?
DAVE YOU FERRET FACED BUM YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THE CHARGERS ARE GOING TO HAVE A CRIPPLING INJURY STAHP
My crippling depression feeds off of Chargers injuries, and every year that need has been met.
I’m going with the dark horse. Sexy Rexy.
I wonder if someone will actually start a website where you can bet on this.
I’m expecting a bird to crap on Wentz and the guy ends up in coma due to fractured skull and brain trauma.
The Bengals might have it to be honest. The starting LG also retired this offseason for health reasons. He had a some blood clots in his leg, and one even worked it’s way into his lung. So the prospective LT and LG are out, and Bobby Hart is still the prospective RT. It’s gon suk to be Andy Dalton.
I’m gonna go with (and nobody’s guessing it but…) Josh Rosen, shattered knee, right before halftime of the third preseason game after he’s been looking fantastic behind a non-Cardinals line!k
(For those of you wondering…he’s on the Dolphins. The Dolphins will try to talk Jay Cutler out of retirement, but that won’t work, and they’ll proceed to go 5-11, with one of those wins being New England in Miami.)
As for people I secretly hope go down…look, in five years that’ll be Mahomes (Broncos fan), assuming the Broncos are competitive again by then, but I don’t really have any rooting preferences for injuries because the Broncos aren’t going to win the Super Bowl this year. Not that I won’t be thrilled if we do…but it won’t happen.
I don’t hate the Chiefs. In fact, I kind of support them (great fanbase, Newly-Skinny Andy Reid as their head coach, exciting to watch, and man oh man have they been deprived of success…this’ll be the 50th year without a Super Bowl win, right?). So if the Chiefs were to go out and win one, this year would be just fine by me.
I also don’t hate the Chargers fanbase, players, or…well, anything, except the owner, who is a world-class idiot for that LA move. Really, I wouldn’t mind seeing Rivers get a ring, but I’d hate to see Spanos get rewarded for that move.
I do hate the Raiders, but Gruden is going to spend his time trying to give that logo another eyepatch with his treatment of their roster, so there’s no need to root for injuries there. Except maybe against Burfict if he takes out a hit on Phillip Lindsay or Emmanuel Sanders.
I’m not really rooting for any injuries this year. One of the few benefits of being a fan of a team that has no chance of competing and also won it all recently.
(Seriously I’m still mostly cool with whoever wins [except the Raiders] since the Broncos won three and a half years ago…which is weird, right? It sounds like it should be weird.)
Finally, this isn’t an injury projection, but it’s a gut feeling like your Falcons thing: Rodgers is getting/has gotten everything he wants in Green Bay this offseason, and the Packers will proceed to finish 4-12 with a fully healthy Rodgers playing the whole year.
Oh, and I’m guessing that this shattered knee will be step one in Rosen’s transformation into Sam Bradford, only without the immense rookie contract this time around. Seven years from now, we’ll be looking at the Chargers and thinking “they paid how much for Josh Rosen? He’ll die in training camp, AGAIN!”
Oh easily the Chargers, that’s like taking candy from a baby
Player: Aaron Rodgers
Team: Rams
going with Jarvis Landry because the browns have been having too much success, and Minnesota
Looks like you jinxed yourself… RIP Coleman
With the injuries to Sterling Shepard and Corey Coleman, I’m starting to feel like this comic created bad karma for the poor Giants receiving corps.
I hate you.
Tyreek Hill. That’s the one person I’m actively rooting for an injury for. Of not in the preseason, then I hope Burfict breaks him in half.