Indiana Jones And The Mess Of The Colts
Don’t you think that I didn’t notice Daniel Jones going to Indy. I saw you, Danny. Honestly, not a bad place to try. Anthony Richardson was a disappointment last season and the front office seems to be one cocaine fueled bender from Irsay away from ending with everyone fired. Danny is likely to get the chance to actually be the starter and continue playing, because he’s either just better than Richardson (honestly, he is), or because Richardson messes up just enough that a frantic and panicked Shane Steichen throws him in the game as a desperate bid to light a spark.
I think this Colts staff is a dead regime walking. Last year the Colts were fringe playoff contenders despite being kind of a mess. Richardson sure has a howitzer for an arm but he has the accuracy of a stormtrooper. He has the body of a Titan but the conditioning of Snorlax. He is, to put it bluntly, still raw. The tools exist, physically at least, but I can’t say I’m terribly encouraged by the results so far. Getting tired and sitting out a vital third down (and more importantly, admitting it on camera) was about the most embarassing thing a QB did last season, and yes I am including all of Will Levis in that statement. Richardson was drafted pretty much entirely because he was a physical specimen. For him to bonk and just chill for a vital play is a horrible look. He did play slightly better after he was benched for Joe Flacco for a time, but it’s not like he got good.
The Colts had the 7th seed in their sights and then they let Drew Lock have the game of his life. The Colts were beating the Broncos 13-7 and then Jonathan Taylor oopsies the ball onto the ground before crossing the goal line, and the Broncos would then go on to win 31-13. They won a meaningless game at season’s end to ruin draft position after missing the playoffs. The roster is falling apart. The big free agency gets were Camryn Bynum, Charvarious Ward, and Indiana Jones, who I will call him from now on and probably make more comics about if he has a funny season.
Colts fans, let me just warn you straight out of the gate: Daniel Jones is not as bad as the jokes. Do not let this fool you into thinking he is good. Jones was woefully overdrafted, placed on a shit team, given no support, and did his best. But he is like that kid in class who wasn’t very smart but damn, he sure did try, and you rooted for him to finally do it, but he never did. Daniel Jones is a servicable QB. He is a low-end starting claiber QB. He will have moments and even full games where he looks perfectly fine, sometimes even good, and you’ll think you somehow got a steal and the Giants failed him. He’s probably one of the best backups in the league. But that’s it. He’s slow to process the field, he locks on his preferred target, he’s only a good scrambler when the playcall is designed to be one and takes terrible sacks and makes terrible decisions otherwise. He’s polite, nice, and easy to like as a person. He will seem like a godsend when he is safe and semi-effective with the ball after you watch Richardson throw a bomb 10 yards away from the WR all game. He is not the answer. The instant you start arguing that he’s the guy you need out there, you’ve lost. Root for Richardson to get his shit together. The Jones path just leads to disappointment.
I give Steichen and Ballard till about week 13 before everyone gets canned because they have 5 wins. I hope Irsay hires Bob Sanders to coach the team in the interim this time.
I still can’t believe the staff is still there, at least when it comes to Ballard. Giving up 40+ to *that* offense is somehow an arguably more embarrassing way to get eliminated than blowing the game where Jags fans dressed up as clowns. We need some sort of investigation to discover how he’s still around.
It pains me that all these Fat Humps will have to suffer through yet another bad year.
Indiana Jones and the Barn of Doom
Insert the barn is safe, Jones couldn’t hit the broad side of it joke here.
I’m still a little puzzled that he went to the Colts instead of re-signing with the Vikings. My understanding is the money was roughly equal, so he’s throwing his chips into the “prove to everyone one last time that I can be a capable starter” pot. Unfortunately that pot involves having play for a team with a middling offensive line (after losing 2/3 of it), okay-but-not-truly-great receiving weapons, a stud RB who hasn’t quite been fully-consistent, an admittedly talented coach that just might not be up to snuff as a HEAD coach, and a defense that…well….is coming along…..so basically he went to the Giants of the AFC. Can someone remind me the definition of insanity?
Sure, the Vikings are gunning for JJ to be their QB and will give him every chance to succeed, but it was that way last year before Sammy D took over and made himself $100M even after shitting the bed in the two most important games of the season. I guess, if you really believe in betting on yourself, why wouldn’t you try to beat out the rookie coming off a meniscus tear for a chance to play with one of the most talented offenses in the league for the COTY? Well, I guess decision-making always WAS a bit of an issue with him, wasn’t it?
Colts probably offered him more and he probably wants to be a starter so his options on having a chance were likely limited
It’s what Jim Irsay deserves
There’s a part of me that actually feels for Jim. He is a fail-son. His dad was a giant douche and he seems to have some level of self reflection, when sober.