Hyper-Specific Irritating Sports Guys
Some guys are annoying in a very hyper-specific way. Basic annoying sports fan guys are a dime a dozen. The fairweather fan, the drunk asshole fan, the guy who yells about his fantasy team or his bets. You could go into any sports bar right now and find those guys. The Lakers/Cowboys/Yankees fan? We’ve all met him.
What interests me is the more specific guy. The guy who has one strong opinion about something that doesn’t deserve such a strong opinion, or the one pointlessly irksome habit. A few months ago I asked this question on twitter and got far more responses than I anticipated. Unfortunately, a lot of people seemed to misinterpret my admittedly vague description and give me the routine annoying sports guys, but I also got a lot of great answers, more than I could fit here. I’m thinking of very specific traits, not the guy you can find in every sports bar. The guy you find in random places online, ranting about shit that doesn’t matter. Case in point, guys like:
“STOP SAYING WE” GUY
Stop saying we guy is either a troll or, worse, what we used to call a grammar nazi. I don’t think anyone really uses that term anymore but back in my online days grammar nazi was a definite insult for a super annoying person who would correct your grammar online or in-person. The problem with the grammar nazi, in this case the guy who gets upset if you say “we” when referring to your team, is that grammar is honestly not that important in very casual conversation. Grammar is important for official, professional documents when clarity of language and intent is paramount. It is not very important for two guys at the bar who are discussing their team to not simply use basic pronouns to make the conversation flow easier. These dorks love to argue I am talking as if I am part of the Giants if I refer to the Giants in conversation like “we need a quarterback who doesn’t suck harder than a black hole”. I am not. Here’s the thing. They absolutely know I am not part of the team and that I am not inferring that I am, they are just being pedantic, annoying shits. Fuck off!
HATES THE WAVE GUY
This is one that confuses me because the wave is such a simple, harmless thing. You just stand up and hold your hands overhead for a quick second and you watch the fluid-like motion flow around a stadium. You don’t have to participate! You can ignore it! The wave will pass by in mere seconds and any view that gets obstructed is back almost instantly. I most often experience a wave at baseball games, which is a sport with a ton of downtime already so 1 second of wave that I can stay seated for is just…who cares? Well, this guy does. This guy fucking hates the wave. He will yell sit down at wavers. He will go online and rant about how stupid the wave is. I think I’ve been more annoyed by wave haters than I’ve ever been by the actual wave. Granted, I will finish off this section by admitting that there is that one guy who is always trying to start the wave, and that guy is annoying, and is also in the zoo right next to the wave hater.
THINKS A JERSEY IS COSPLAY OR UNMANLY GUY
This is kind of two guys in one, but they tend to overlap a bit. This guy is disgusted by the idea of wearing another man’s name on you. This honestly just shows how insecure the guy is more than anything else. Jerseys are obviously not day-to-day shirts unless you are part of a fashionable subculture of some sort. I don’t wear my jerseys to get groceries, at least not on days when my team isn’t playing. I only wear the jerseys to events, for games. Because it’s specialty team swag! While the manosphere type guy who thinks it’s beta cuck shit to wear another man’s name as a shirt is just a sad, insecure man, the “cosplay” comment always amused me. When I wear an Eli jersey I am not pretending to be Eli Manning, or even dress up as Eli Manning. I’m just wearing a fancy-material shirt. All it actually says is “I am a fan of Eli Manning”. If I was cosplaying I’d be putting on a helmet, maybe some pads under the shirt, putting on the pants, wearing cleats. You know, putting together an actual costume? I’m just wearing a shirt! It’s like wearing a band tee that looks weird to wear to the store on a Tuesday morning. There is one more variation on this guy I saw in my comments not long ago: the guy with the rule of not wearing a jersey of a guy younger than you. You can abide by that rule if you want, but holding everyone to that rule is silly. If you like a player and want to wear the jersey in support, just do it.
GET IN THE HOLE GUY
When I was a kid and my dad turned on golf I thought this guy was the funniest guy in history. The charm wears off very quickly, however. It was meme before memes, something that some dork started and took off at golfing events by every frat bro chucklefuck who could afford to get in the country club. It’s almost inexcusable to still be hearing this during golf broadcasts in 2024.
SPORTSBALL HANDEGG GUY
Not necessarily a sports guy, usually a sports hater, but it is a comment on sports so I’m using it. It’s not really any different than the last guy. At some point, someone came up with Sportsball and Handegg and every nerd who hates sports in existence latched onto a brand new fun way to mock sports likers. Like most of these cute nickname terms it was kinda funny at first but in 2024 is just tired. We get it, you aren’t into sports, find a new way to be clever about it. I don’t know if I’m the minority on this one, but I’m also sick of hearing “Superb Owl”. That one ran its course a while ago too and I haven’t seen it get any fresh life in ages.
GOES INTO OPPOSING TEAM SPACES AFTER A LOSS TO SAY GOOD GAME GUY
If you use Reddit you know exactly what I’m talking about here. Your team loses a tough game, you go online to bitch about it with other fans and commiserate and you see a post like “____ FAN, I COME IN PEACE” and it’s just a post like “wow thought you guys really had us there, we were lucky to get the win, refs were on our side haha if you get a pass rusher next year you’ll be spooky”. It is a post made from a good place (usually) by a fan who just wants to be friendly and talk ball but it is THE LAST thing you want to read at that moment and it is condescending as hell. I get the motivation to try an extend a friendly olive branch, you have it in real life too if you’ve ever been at a bar watching the game with fans of the opposing team. It’s polite. It’s also extremely irritating at that moment especially if you have not had a conversation with this person before this moment, which is the case online for all of these posts. I think a lot of subreddits have been banning this kind of post in recent years because of how irritating they are.
NOTHING BUT TRASH TALK GUY
This might be just a me problem as a content creator with a following so I’m curious if other people also encounter this person. But I’ve run into guys, usually on social media, who find out I’m a fan of whatever team and then only interact with me via trash talk. And it’s constant, and it’s lame. Extremely lame trash talk. Not even good trash talk. And it comes on almost every post you make, regardless of whether the post is even about your team. I post a picture of my dog? “Yeah that dog is cute UNLIKE THE GIANTS, WHO SUCK”. It’s like this on every post for a time until the person fails to get a rise out of me (I always ignore them). If you want to come at me, at least be good at it. If you are just posting a slightly different version of THE GIANTS SUCK in the replies on every post you aren’t worth interacting with. For like a full season 2 years ago I had a Cowboys fan sending me those sorts of DMs after every post I made. I never once responded and he eventually sent me a long post about how he was sorry and he loves my work. I also never responded to that. If that kid is somehow reading this, I did in fact see your posts, and I hope you experienced character growth.
RBI IS PLURAL SO DONT SAY RBIS GUY
You remember a few paragraphs ago when I detailed the Stop Saying We guy? Yeah, it’s just that guy again, but about something else.
WEARS UNRELATED TEAM SWAG TO GAMES GUY
I will admit to being this guy. Twice, actually. The first time was when I went to Foxboro for a Patriots/Rams game. It was 2008, I wore my Eli jersey specifically to be a little shithead and get dirty looks from Pats fans bitter about the previous season. Jokes on me, the weather was too cold and I never took my jacket off so nobody saw it. But while I was at the game, I saw some other guy in a Washington jersey (I think Jason Campbell). At least I wore an unrelated team specifically to be a troll, but what the fuck was that guy doing? The other time I did it I was at an arena football game and half the audience was wearing random team jerseys because nobody owned any swag for the actual teams playing. But this guy exists at every sporting event if you look hard enough. It’ll be a cold day in hell when you go to a football game and some dickweed isn’t wearing a Steelers or Cowboys jersey out there, for a game involving neither team.
NOT PICTURED: GUY WHO THINKS YOU CAN ONLY BE A FAN OF A COLLEGE TEAM IF YOU WENT THERE
I just wanted to give this guy a shoutout. I don’t interact with him often but it came up a lot as an answer to my thread. It’s just another arbitrary unwritten rule guy, and arbitrary unwritten rules are stupid. There are so many reasons to become a fan of a team, no reason is invalid. Yes, it might be strange to be a Bama fan if you went to LSU or grew up in Montana or something, but that just gives you a story to your fandom that you can tell. If the reason you have is lame, then we can make fun of you. But being a fan of a team without going to the college is perfectly fine.
USES MINOR PLATFORM TO BE JUDGEY GUY
Yes, I am aware of the irony of making a post like this being a big judgey pants when I have my own bad habits. You don’t have to go pointing that out, because I know some of you would. Gleefull little shits.
New comic will upload Thursday to celebrate kickoff week like usual
Is it bad if I’m saying handegg, but not smugly?
RsB’dI and I will die on this hill even though I don’t care about baseball.
(Could swear I had a third one, but if I do that thought has exited my noodle.)
Pretty sure it’s impossible to not say Handegg smugly
Sportsball can be done though, Urinatingtree’s weekly NFL recap is called “This Week in Sportsball” and I don’t think anyone’s accusing him of being a sports hating nerd.
Sportsball is a silly term to make light of the absurdity of sports fandom. Handegg is a sneering putdown to tell someone their sport is inferior to yours.
Handegg is said primarily by two people: Euros who can’t get over their sport being called soccer and people who hate sports generally but are neck-deep in a way more embarrassing fandom (IE identifying as a Hufflepuff in 2024).
“I’ll go long. You make like Justin Fields and throw me the handegg.”
The preposterous nature of this statement negates all possible smugness.
I’ve been known to use “handegg” as well… It’s such a funny little name and is more evocative in a literal sense of what the sport is about than “football”. But I know it’s used by dummies to put the sport down, so use it only around those who know you well.
The term ‘football’ refers to a ball game played on foot.
A football is a prolate spheroid.
Eggs are oblate spheroids.
So Handegg Guy can get his smug bastard ass in the FUCKING BIN. He’s probably the kind that also balks at ‘soccer’ as well. We get a lot of them here, for all it’s a British shortening of the word association (the full term for the roundball game) – the homeland ditched the word while the rest of the world held onto it. Same way we codified the laws of the game then the rest of the world got better at it than us.
Dude, curling rocks and discuses are oblate, footballs and eggs are prolate.
And none of them are proper spheroids.
If you’re gonna be aggressively pedantic, maybe check your own work first.
For the undelated team apparel guy, we get a lot of them in Buffalo but usually for hockey. In recent years, the Maple Leafs have been good and the Sabres have been…not good. As a result, Sabres tickets are often cheaper, especially after January. So a lot of Leafs fans will make the quick jump over the border to just hang out and watch a hockey game. Most are harmless. Some are jerks that go to boo the Sabres or root against them. Nearly all of them leave you with a good story to tell your friends later. But a lot of them wear Toronto gear just to wear a hockey jersey or apparel
“Stop Saying ‘We'”: You know how some people get triggered by otherwise innocuous malpropisms or “non-standard” English. I get triggered when I see someone react like that and they know damn well they’re not saying what they’re mocking them for saying (read: “You know what he mean! Shut up!”)
“Handegg”: I’ve never seen the “Superb Owl” thing outside of someone mocking the NFL’s ludicrously aggressive enforcement of the “Super Bowl” trademark.
“Trash Talk”: In my experience, it’s somehow WORSE when discussing someone’s favorite *player.* Say you’re a Lebron fan, and the Jordan and Kobe stans will emerge from the shadows and pepper you with “Lefraud” and “Leflop” comments. Admitting to being a Tom Brady fan will summon the “Dirty cheat” comments. (Real Talk™: I think Brady is the luckiest sumbitch to ever put on a helmet*, but I cannot deny the skills. Even if I’d still take Montana).
* He’s down three rings if Andy Reid, Pete Carroll and Dan Quinn didn’t forget how to run the ball.
Re: Pete Carrol. Passing was the right move, he just called the wrong one. Should have been a back corner fade. Either you get the TD this play or you try the rush with the next. The ball should never have been thrown such that an INT was possible.
Passing would have made sense if there wasn’t still a timeout left. He could have still run the ball and then called a timeout if that didn’t work. I do get annoyed how people act as if passing on the goal line was some kind of unprecedented move that only a complete moron would even consider though. Teams pass on the goal line all the time.
Or, given his play over the recent seasons, maybe Russell Wilson just really wasn’t that good at throwing the ball, and he done did the completely wrong thing in that moment. And Pete Carroll, being a standup guy, if nothing else, took it on the chin as if it was all on him. I can just imagine it…
Pete: Ok, Russ, we’re gonna pass. You throw here to this guy, or over here to this guy, but DO NOT THROW *HERE* because it’s a high % chance for an int, ok??
Russ: Nods blankly. *bobbles on to field, snaps ball, IMMEDIATELY THROWS *THERE**
Pete: WTF?!?!
Russ: Ooops, I did a poopie.
Part time Seahawks fan in to add some context: If you didn’t watch the team, I wouldn’t be surprised if you questioned the call. “You have a guy who they’ve nicknamed “Beast Mode” on your team! Beast Mode means big, strong runner. Run Beast Mode!!!”. If you had watched the team, you’d know that the Seahawks were actually very poor at running the ball in from inside the 5. That’s not entirely on Marshawn, but it goes against what you would have thought. Point is, if Russ throws that pass a second earlier and scores that TD, Pete looks like a genius for zigging when we all expected him to zag, and the Seahawks go down in history for one of the strangest postseason runs in NFL history.
What I find very funny about the discourse regarding Seattle’s call to pass there is that they were in a very similar situation in the 3rd quarter and they also ran a pass play there that resulted in a TD to put them up 24-14. The problem with the playcall isn’t that they threw the ball – it was in fact the right call given that Seattle was at a complete disadvantage in terms of trying to run (they only had 6 blockers vs an 8 man front), it’s the type of pass that they called. They ran a bootleg on the 3rd quarter TD, and that should have been the call here. Get Wilson on the move and give him the option to either throw the TD in the back of the endzone, run it in himself, or throw the ball away if neither of those options are available. Throwing the ball into the middle of the field, where New England was crowding the area, was a bad call.
All that being said, I do hate that people constantly gloss over how impressive of a play it was by both Brandon Browner and Malcolm Butler. Browner completely destroyed the pick attempt and Butler made an excellent play on the ball. If either of them mess up their assignments, that’s an easy walk-in touchdown for Seattle and none of this discourse even happens. Also worth shouting out Belichick while we’re at it, since he notably spent a lot of time preparing for that exact situation beforehand. Chalking all of that up to Brady Devil Magic just feels disrespectful to the guys on defense who helped seal the deal imo.
Yeah, pretty sure the Superb Owl was something Stephen Colbert came up with after the NFL did a C&D on his satirical “coverage” of the NFL on The Colbert Report back in the day.
Wearing a jersey is fine, being a full-kit wanker is not. Thankfully, that’s pretty uncommon in North America and is more of a soccer abroad thing.
I don’t think I’ve ever come across that in America. I guess you’d get laughed out of the stadium here if you tried that. Also jerseys alone are expensive so I couldn’t imagine how much full apparel would cost.
I also have never seen this happen in America but I don’t think anyone who does it would get bullied, because at that point it would be wearing a costume and some fans do go the extra mile to dress up for games. Definitely not common though. I didn’t know about the full kit wanker phenomenon. Probably easier to do with soccer uniforms, basically just a shirt and shorts and maybe the shoes. No pads or helmets.
Ah, yes, in relation to the grammar pendant, people who immediately correct you when you say “Soccer Uniform”. “No! It’s a KIT! Get it right!”
And then they wonder why more people don’t want to watch soccer.
Same guy also gets mad if you call it a soccer field instead of a pitch
If I’m outside America okay I’ll play your game but when I’m here a pitch is a baseball throw
I didn’t use the term “kit” to be a pedant, I used it because google’ing “full kit wanker” to the uninitiated will turn up more results than “full uniform wanker.”
it’s “pedant”, not “pendant”.
I’ll use the terms “kit”, “pitch” and “match” instead of “uniform”, “field” and “game” when talking with other soccer fans but I won’t correct anyone who uses the latter terms. At the end of the day as long as we all know what we are talking about and having fun, that’s what counts. Plus I’m aware of the reputation soccer supporters have.
Sportsball and Handegg guys are technically two different kinds of dipshits. Sportsball guys are nerds who always got picked on in gym class who now hate all physical activity and want you to know how much smarter and more sophisticated they are than you because they enjoy intellectual pursuits like complaining about Star Wars being woke and watching the weird kind of anime.
Handegg guys are smug soccer supremacists who want to shame you for being an uncultured American. Bonus points if they’re American too but think they’re honorary Europeans because they watch The Beautiful Game as they probably refer to it unironically. They of course have no idea what the origins of the terms football or soccer even are because intellectual curiosity is for people who don’t already think they’re smarter than everyone else.
I rarely say it, but I do use handegg only because I think it’s funny. Then again I’m also a Patriots fan who loves a good 18-1 joke because those can be hilarious. The best one I ever saw was that losing scratch ticket I bought where the winning numbers were 18 and 1.
I was going to point this out. It seems like the Sportsball crowd has mostly died out and been replaced with the Handegg guys as of recent.
Number 2 is all Astros fans, but I feel called out on 9. But like Dave’s story, there was some trolling behind wearing a Yordan Alvarez jersey in Dodger Stadium.
I’m a fan of the Astros and don’t hate the wave, In fact almost every Astros game I’ve ever been to has had the wave in it.
I get to be the first grammar nazi! Woo!
Ahem.
No, you are not inferring that you are a member of the team, but you might be implying that you are.
My brother is a nothing but trash talk guy and it is so exhausting. It’s just negative, even in conversations about absolute best case scenarios for a team, it’s immediately cut down with “Yeah, but you’re shit/your [position] is shit/[Better Team] is better than you and therefore impossible to beat.”
Absolute death of sports discussion.
What about “he got good penetration through the tight end” guy
What of the baby-talking insults made for babies? I’m talking about low-quality Dad joke substitutions like “LA Fakers”, “Forty Whiners”, “Seachickens”, and the problematic-on-more-levels “Cowgirls”. The second any of these come up in conversation, I want to crawl into the earth and roll the sod back over me, I am that done with having any more conversation with this guy.
OOooooh this is an extremely good one that I totally forgot about. In the football forum I used to frequent these sorts of terms were called “Rivals.com” puns because they were used so often there and were explicitly banned from the forum for being so annoying and lame. Fully agree, if you always say “cowgirls” there’s no way I want to keep talking to you
I mean if you think “Cowgirls” is problematic, wait until you find out what people used to call the Packers and the Vikings.
Though calling the Chiefs the Chefs will never get old for me, thanks to the greatest Snicker’s commercial ever.
And even I as a Broncos fan call them the Donks. It eases the pain.
I’m a Chiefs fan and even I call them the Chefs. Great Googily-Moogily!
When I went to a Tampa Bay Storm v Orlando Predators game, I was called “Tampon Gay”. Rivalry insults are great.
Back in the height of the Seahawks-49ers rivalry on SB Nation we used to say Forty Whiners a lot because Niners Nation had a tendency to be really upset and paranoid over little things. Like once they thought it was a full blown conspiracy against their team because the local transit adopted a green and blue color scheme.
I’m a Seahawks fan and the BART “scandal” was objectively hilarious. It diminishes us to throw around insults unworthy of a second-grader when their unjustified righteous meltdown was readily on display for anyone with eyes.
I have had people- in *real life*- look me in the eyes and call my team the Viqueens. I don’t even know how to to respond to that. When a doofus online does it, you can easily ignore them. But an actual flesh and blood human saying it without a hint of irony? Absolutely baffling
It always flashes me back to growing up wearing my dryer-ravaged, iron-on Randy Moss jersey to school and getting that name thrown at me by my bully wearing a stitched-on Favre jersey. Seeing it in person as an adult would just make me even more mad because it’s sooooooooooo juvenile, sooooooooooo low-energy, and sooooooooo lacking in substance.
I claim “Viqueens” and “Twinkies” as our words. As disaffected Minnesota sports fans, we can and will disparage our own teams, but if you sniveling cheeseheads try to use them on us them’s fighting words.
On an unrelated note, has anyone ever used “Mild” for the Wild? That would be pretty genius considering Minnesotans’ alleged allergy to spices.
I’ve also heard Bi-Queens. And I think we all know what homophobic name fans call the Packers.
“Twinkies,” I feel, is a term of endearment. “Viqueens” just has too much misogyny and/or homophobia baked in for me to think of it as anything other than cringe.
“Mild” is in the same tier as shit like “Cowgirls.” Wow, so clever, much insult, wow
If it helps, this Packers fan fucking hates that too. It’s such a geriatric insult.
That last guy is the worst, we hate them. 😉 (Kidding Dave! The week isn’t complete without a couple of these comics.)
The biggest commission I see is the “old timer guy who whines about how everything was better back in the day”. Whether it’s complaining about pitch counts/innings restrictions or “you know, if you showboated like that with Nolan Ryan, the next guy would have had a broken face on the next pitch” in baseball, or the idiot who complains that there’s not enough running the ball (you know, since 3-yards-at-a-time works so well today) or that defenses don’t hit like they used to (read: “they need to go back to decapitating the guy”) in football, or “they don’t play defense” in the NBA (pro tip: with the exception of the thug ball era in the mid-90s, look at scoring averages for the past 40 years, you might be surprised).
omission, not commission. Thanks auto-incorrect.
It’s weird coming from the other end. I am the sportsyest (but not that sportsy) guy in a very non-sportsy nerd circle. I use stuff like “sportsball”, “hand egg”, and “superb owl” jokingly with my *very* non-sports friends to aknowledge that I am talking about things they don’t care about
I’ve softened on the Anti-Wave Guy, just because I hate doing the wave during like….a big drive in the 4th quarter. So I get it. But closely related is my real Most Hated Guy: the Never Stand Up Ever Guy. I went to Giants-Commies in 2022, this guy behind me kept grumbling at me to sit down after jumping up and celebrating a touchdown. Like dude, it’s a football game, and we’re going to overtime. Fans want to stand up and get loud. If you don’t expect people to be rowdy and standing in the nosebleeds, go watch the game on TV.
The corollary, of course, is the “Never Sits Down Guy”. Like, dude, I know you’re pumped to be at the game, but it’s the 2nd inning/1st quarter of a mid-season game against a so-so non-division team. Stop being annoying and let others actually watch it without having to crane themselves around you.
Some (all?) minor league baseball teams actually have a *corporate sponsored* wave. I’ve been to a handful of games at different stadiums and between innings it’s like “Now let’s do the wave sponsored by *alcoholic beverage*! (I forget which one). I may have the minority opinion that the wave sucks, but I think I’m in the majority opinion it shouldn’t have a corporate sponsor.
Out of all the people mentioned, the “GUY WHO THINKS YOU CAN ONLY BE A FAN OF A COLLEGE TEAM IF YOU WENT THERE” is probably the worst one here if only because this mindset makes absolutely zero sense if you follow college ball even casually–specifically football.
The FBS is structured in a way that only a dedicated set of specific teams in specific conferences can actually earn a chance at winning a championship every season. I’m a Pitt alumni (H2P!) and I go into every season knowing god damn well that they have no shot at ever winning a championship, and they play in the ACC! So what the fuck do you expect a fan of team that plays in the MAC, Sun Belt, or even AAC or Mountain West to do? The worst part is that I can almost guarantee that this same group of people are probably the loudest in opposition to the 12 team playoff. You know, the thing that was created to give those schools in smaller conferences a chance in hell at competing for a title? It’s just a stupid opinion to have.
These guys are all annoying, but having the “Goes into opposing spaces after a loss to say good game” guy on this list is like having Patrick Mahomes on a JV squad.
I live close enough to LA that I consider SC my default college team but I don’t really follow them. I think it’s different down here because of how dominant Pete’s squads were back in the day. Also Pete’s back teaching classes but I think we all know it’s just to get him back as coach.
it’s “gleeful”, not “gleefull”.
pedantry and idiosyncratic punctuation aside, this comic was very funny and thought-provoking. The “Eternally Doomed No Matter What Guy” can be pretty annoying, too.
Not if you’re from Minnesota. That’s our default here considering our men’s sports history.
There is one case where I proudly identified as a “Stop saying ‘We’ Guy”
Bill Simmons was on the Manning Cast 1 or 2 seasons ago
He was talking directly to Eli about the 2 Super Bowls
He kept saying “we” when referring to the Patriots, and then especially egregiously– “they” when referring to the Giants.
Talking to a literal member of the team he’s discussing, and he’s saying “they” instead of “you”, and “we” to refer to the team he’s just a fan of!!
It was so ridiculous I couldn’t help but become That Guy and shout at the TV, “Stop saying ‘we’ to Eli Frickin Manning!!”
Maybe I’m just a “Fuck Bill Simmons” guy. I’d be comfortable with that
Your justification has served its purpose once the name “Bill Simmons” comes out of your mouth. He could be handing an old lady $10 and helping her cross the street… I would still run a red light, park, get out of my car, race down the sidewalk, and smack the ever-loving s&@#% out of him. Because F@#%& Bill Simmons. He is the prototype that all other annoying-as-f@#% Patriots fans in my life follow, and he can go the 18th circle of hell and roast on a spit for all eternity while angry swarms of vipers bite him in the armpit, repeatedly, for eternity.
oh man I’m with ya fuck that guy
The ‘they’ is the egregious one here. I think the ‘we’ is fine.
That being said, Bill Simmons is his own justification
Mentioning Bill Simmons brings up something that’s pissed me off for probably twenty years and is another annoying fan type that belongs here.
The “Burn All Jerseys of a Player That’s No Longer On The Team” Guy.
Fuck that guy! Players come and go. It’s part of fandom and life. We’ve had free agency in every sport for decades now. And for the NFL and NBA there’s also the complication of salary caps. And all sports have had trades and changes in scope for forever. But jerseys and similar paraphernalia is damn expensive. I’m not going to hold it against a Giant fan that shows up in a Barkley jersey they bought two years ago. Someone paid good money for that. When they got it in 2022 it made a lot of sense and genuinely probably meant a lot to them. For all you know it was a luxury and the lone jersey they could afford. What nerve must it take to tell someone to throw it away. And honestly unless it’s a really egregious embarrassing situation (like a Watson Texans jersey) why wouldn’t you still wear it.
I mean if I had a Saquon jersey I wouldn’t want to wear it anymore now. Not because I begrudge him or anything but rather because it feels like you really should only wear jerseys of dudes who are on the team right now or are legacy players. I still wore my Tuck and Osi jerseys even after they left because they were legacy players, but Saquon never hit that bar, imo.
Burning a jersey or making a big deal about throwing it out is petty though. Just keep it or donate it.
Jerseys are too expensive to be disposable. And they’re more about showing your fandom for the team than they about the specific player on it. The first thing people see is what team you root for and then they see what player on it you like enough to get his jersey. Plus, it’s not like everything the guy did just ceases to exist the moment he leaves, those memories are permanent.
The guys who instantly hate any player who goes to another team are babymen. Like, what do you think this league is? They always think the players owe them something for rooting for them as if they don’t call for the head of any player who has a bad game.
“Stop saying we guy is either a troll or, worse, what we used to call a grammar nazi.”
Nazi should always be capitalised. Thank you.
Unrelated team swag guy: do same-city-same-color-scheme jerseys count here? I don’t know that I’ve ever been to a penguins, pirates, or steelers game without seeing at least one jersey of the other two teams. This is especially prevalent at pirtes games, because being garbage for 30 years will kind of limit the desire for merch sales.
If the color is somewhat similar like all of the Pittsburgh teams, I’d say it’s fine. If it’s a different color entirely (like a Bucs jersey at a Lightning game), then I’d have a problem with it.
I’d also like to nominate the “Anti-Bandwagon Fan” guy. You know, the kind of guy who may see you wearing a certain jersey and demand that you “prove your loyalty”. I’m a big Manchester City fan, and have been since I was really little simply because blue was my favorite color. I can’t tell you how much guff I get from people when I wear a Man City jersey on gameday. People are fans of all kinds of teams for all kinds of reasons and any is valid. Yeah, we can poke fun at the new Chiefs fans for getting in on the top floor, but if you like that team just because you like Travis Kelce…..that’s valid. I know there’s a lot of Patriots fans who only joined because of the dynasty. That’s fine. Winning is fun and fun to watch. Now suffer like the rest of us!
I hate that guy who always bags on players for too much celebrating who is *also* that guy who puts them down for playing without ‘intensity’
Always one of those bitter assholes who resents anyone who gets to do what they enjoy for a living.
If you’re using “we” for a sports team, you’re an assclown and a cuck.
Lmao grow up buddy
Sign: Selfish Idiot Disappointed There’s No New Comic Forgetting Its Still Technically the Offseason and Dave Has a Life
Me: “Boo! I want a comic!”
Opening week I always release the comic on Thursday to coincide with kickoff
I know. Just being a smarta**, not so good on the smart.
Re the Guy Who Shits on People Wearing Jerseys For Teams Where They Didn’t Go To School: TBH most people wearing Harvard swag aren’t doing it for the football team. Then again I think it looks ridiculous for people who didn’t actually go there to wear that stuff.