Hardknocks with Matt Ryan
I have nothing against the Falcons, but man, I just don’t find them interesting in the slightest. I’m even in a debate with a fellow sports humor writer over who the most Nilla Wafer QB is, and my pick is Matt Ryan. He’s so bland that Wonderbread looks exciting in comparison. Ryan has been a top 10 QB since he arrived in the league, and yet no one talks about him at all. No one. He’s a fantastic QB and has led his team to more success than they remember and no one cares at all. He has two first names, and both are boring names. Mike Smith isn’t much better honestly. The Falcons just aren’t interesting and our first episode of Hard Knocks rather confirmed it for me. If Tony G was still on the team they might have been saved, but alas.
NEWS UPDATE – there will be no comic on Saturday. As of the moment you read this I am taking a much needed 4 day vacation to road trip the Oregon coast and to get away from art for just a bit.
Matt Ryan is so boring and vanilla he makes Bill Belichick look like Rob Gronkowski. I joked with a friend while we were watching the episode that he’s what Kenneth from 30 Rock would be if he were a quarterback.
Am I the only one that feels like he’s a little overrated? Not bad by any stretch, I absolutely agree he’s top ten. But I feel like he’s had the incomparable security blanket that is Tony Gonzalez his entire career until this year, to go along with Roddy White and more recently Julio Jones, two #1 caliber receivers, and a running attack powered by Michael Turner that was outstanding in his formative years(1,699 his rookie year, 1,300+ in ’10 and ’11, Turner’s slump prior to his 2012 demise not coincidentally coincided with Ryan’s 9-7 sophomore slump). Not to mention that the NFC South, until recently when Rob Ryan worked Nawlins miracles and Luke Kuechly destroyed everyone, was a fairly soft division defensively.
Again, I’m not saying in any way shape or form that he’s bad, but I can’t help but roll my eyes when people say he’s elite(To me that’s the five best in the league, and there’s no way he usurps Manning, Brady, Rodgers, Brees, or Roethlisberger).
He’s so boring he makes Bill Belichick look like Vanila Wafers, he makes Bill Clinton look like Marvin Harrison, he makes Joe Rogan look like Jim Rome. He makes dogs look like cacti, he makes the world taste good.
I don’t know.
Also enjoy the vacation Dave! Let us know how it goes, and enjoy the return of football on the weekend!
I completely forget about Matt Ryan at times! Like no joke, if it wasn’t for Madden 25 releasing a freak of nature Matt Ryan card, I think I would have entered the season going Ryan who? Like their is literally nothing special about him other then what he does on field. He is literally 6′ 4″ of pure blandness!
One of my names is Matt, and another is Ryan…
🙁
This one is so bland, I’m surprised you actually bothered with a Sexy Rexy.
Matt Ryan who?
Ryan Matthew?
Hopefully they’ll cut in lots of segments about the Real Housewives of Atlanta lady to add some variety to the situation.
Is that a shake weight?!? LOL
Must be because I’ve never watched Hard Knocks before, but I found it somewhat interesting.
Fan of the Saints here, so I get a yearly dose of vanilla and eye brows from Matt Ryan and Mike Smith. We have a nickname for him around here called “Noodle Arm.” Ryan cant hit a receiver past 40 yards and his entire offense is predicated on kitschy crossing routes and an over dependency on Tony Gonzalez. Its funny how bland that team is considering they play in a stadium that looks like a circus tent and will soon find a new home in a stadium that looked like a prolapsed sphincter. I wouldn’t consider Noodle Arm elite until him and the Eye Brows of Death can sustain a playoff run (they’ve lost four playoff games in their own home since ’08).
I love the fact that they opened up with the team watching a clip of Kenny Vaccaro popping Noodle Arm and no one of the team seemed to care.
Everybody is going to say it is boring because its tied to the city of Atlanta. Falcons are scrutinized, hawks are scrutinized, heck even the GA bulldogs take crap from the world over. Especially from fans of teams that are even more boring and bland like, dare i say, the goshdarn giants lol. Nothing but love though from ATL native to you, Mr. Dave, and football fans everywhere.
What is that in the background in panel 2? It looks like a shark eating a beanbag chair or something.
Its a freshly pulled onion and a tomato fighting silly goose.
I believe it is meant to be an exercise bike. I agree with Jake’s description, if you add a banana to the onion
Matt Ryan is not an elite quarterback. He has so many weapons around him but, still can’t do much smh.